Looking Forward

Making a better life for me and my kids

Archive for the month “June, 2012”

Landlord

As I said before about being naive and just wanting the whole marriage to be over and the divorce process to be done with, I’ve clearly made some poor decisions.
I rent our martial home from my ex husband. I gave up all interest in the property, so it is his. Rather than him having to sell it, I agreed to rent it from him for the three years he’d be in law school. This way the kids would be able to stay in their own home, own rooms, etc. This seemed like a fine idea had I been dealing with a sane and rational person. However, knowing what I do now, it was a bad idea. All the same, this is where we’re at now.

We’ve asked a number of times to be let out of the lease becasue we really would love our own space – but he’s refused. Currently, we are living pay check to pay check. Raising the kids without any help from their father. We pay rent, on time, every month. We take care of our bills, and my husband and I are both rebuilding our credit. We have formulated a long term plan that has us fufulling the lease terms, and has us saving money for our own home, working on better credit scores, etc.  Then today we get this email:

“I am willing to entertain the idea of you waiving the remaining one year on the lease in exchange for 1780.00 and provided you can be completely moved out of the house within the month.  I will need to have an answer within the next 2 days.”

he wants us to pay him 2 months of rent, and move out in the next 18 days? He’s crazy. Just plain nuts.

We know that from his converstaion with my older son that he’s looking to move back here and live in this house himself. We’ve learned, however, to respond with reason wont work. So, rather, he’ll get no response at all.

This makes me so tired.

7752.74

So, because there was a time that i was too trusting and naive, I continue to have a joint home equity loan with my exhusband. It is his repsonsibility, as he has full interest in the home, however, my name cannot be removed until he is able to refinance the loan. Which, he cannot do until he has a job. Which he will not do until it is his last resort. So, my credit score isnt helped any by this loan being stretched out to owing the full 10k. Yet, there is nothing I can do.

The only positive side of this is that it is a joint account that I have access to through my old online banking site. I logged in today to see what it looks like. Imagine my surprise when I noticed he’d deposited $7752.74 into that account on 5/23/12. Then within 5 days, he’s removed $1700 (or his mother has done it for him).

Im not receiving any child support, and cannot receive any until he has a job. I find it disgusting and disturbing that I am soley responsible for all the financial aspects of raising our two sons, and he is backpacking around Europe on school loans. If I could take out loans to pay for my kids school clothes, drivers ed, birthday gifts, I certainly would. I wouldnt blow it on myself and pretending I was 20 again.

I continue to be frustrated by his behavior, but I’m not surprised anymore. I get to sit in parent teacher conferences with my new husband, brainstorming ideas about how to help D do better for his next year of school. I would rather do that than live the sad, lonely, pathetic existance my exhusband is living.

All the same, 7752.74 would certainly make raising the boys a bit easier.

Postcard

A postcard came in the mail last week for my younger son, D. It was from his father, who was in Spain. D had no idea that his father was backpacking in Europe, as he wasn’t told. I wasn’t told either, I’d found out by looking at his fathers FaceBook page.
D was clearly unsettled by this. He said “Spain?! I didnt know he was in Spain!”  I stuck the post card on the bulletin board. Later that evening D asked me if his dad had a phone yet. I said I didnt know, but I didnt think so. I said he could send him an email, but D said ‘nah.’

A few days later another postcard arrived, this one from France. The back detailed his trip to see the Mona Lisa. No talk of when he’d be seeing his kid again, just a paragraph about how much fun he was having in France. D said to me that he’d like for US to go to France to see the Mona Lisa. Later that night I found that postcard ripped up and left on the counter.

I wish I knew how to help him feel less like crap about his dad.

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