The last 24 hours have been crazy. I emailed my ex husband to ask if he’d be willing to pay for half of drivers ed for our oldest son. I have full intentions of covering the cost myself, but since he pays nothing in child support, I thought it would be a good opportunity for him to pay for half of something that is important to our son. Here is the email exchange:
A has asked to take Drivers Ed for his birthday, just wanted to see if you’d be willing to pay for half of it.
His response:
That depends on whether or not he is at the wedding. My relationship with those boys will be drastically altered if they attend. D appears to have made his decision already, so be it. There is no room in my life for ANYONE who chooses a path that is detrimental to me. Should A, or D for that matter, choose not to attend then he will continue to have my full acknowledgement and support as my son. I have no control over anyone except myself – you however continue to reign that power. You make the call.
My clean and positve answer:
Thanks for the reply, A will be taking Drivers Ed in the summer, please let me know if you plan to participate.
And another crazy response from him:
They have a father there for that, remember. – it’s not me anymore. You made sure of that. In the words of Dominic things are much “better” with him. Good job on picking a wealthy replacement, sure does make things a lot easier knowing that gifts are persuasive.
I feel like there is no way for me to have any communication with him. No matter how on point it is, no matter the subject matter – he’s just more and more unstable.
Then my friend got this email from him:
Maybe you could have a discussion with her regarding what things are and are not approporiate. I know these common sense things are hard for her considering she had trouble grasping that having a secret emotianal relationship online for 5 years was cheating, or how giving head to someone during lunch breaks was wrong and selfish, or how pretending for so many years was a terrible thing to do. It might be nice if someone was to point out the other side of things to her in regards to the children and moving a guy in so soon, marrying before a year had gone by and all the cover stories and lies she told to support her position – to the children and the people in our lives. It might be good for someone else to talk to her about how it is terrible to limit the amount of time I get to see my children while in school to a couple days a year just because she didnt want to be bothered to drive down to the store to drop them off. How it is unfair to A to have such a sad Christmas where he felt horrible with the differences in treatment between him and his brother just because he wasnt “on board” with what she was doing for the last year. It might be very helpful for someone to point out to her how truely inapproporiate it is for her to have my children be present to celebrate her marriage with a guy whom was one of the main causes of the divorce and how the children’s attendance at such an event might change their relationship with their father for the rest of their lives.
Maybe she still listens to you, but I know one thing is for sure – she is continuing to make decisions with those children that is not helpful to anyone moving forward. Such a selfish and naive person. Maybe you could discuss with her the other side of this all. I am tired of dealing with her Crystal, I am tired of it all – I am pretty sure this will be the last straw, makes a person want to just say fuck it and forget it all – start fresh and sweep the whole Maine family thing under the carpet.
The really sad thing is that I was all about family before – I was a very different kind and caring person, and through her actions and manipulation I just cant seem to find that same guy anymore. I cant seem to get back to the place where I can look at, or talk to, or see pictures of my children without being reminded of a fake former life and what a terrible person she is for what she has done and continues to do. I’d appreciate your help, but I do understand you are “her” friend and that it is probably easier to just agree with whatever she says – but you are the only connection between the two of us that remains open to such communication.
Im starting to be frightened by this honestly. I dont know what to do next.
Looking Forward 