Baby #2
I was on birth control, it was working well for me, but I became insistent that he get a vascetomy. I was tired of putting hormones and chemicals in my body because he didnt want to take responsibility. In September of 1999 my birth control failed and I ended up pregnant again. Becky was with me at the time when I took the test. She knew this wasn’t the best news.
I waited for him to get home and I told him, “Im pregnant”. He said “well good, but just so you know, im not going to be around as much for this one.” I had no idea what that meant. I didn’t even care. He was useless as it was…I wasnt sure he could get any more useless.
Yes. He went to work. Yes. He brought home a paycheck. But so did I. I worked, I went to school, AND I was raising a child! One night things boiled over, I walked away, I couldnt handle it anymore, he followed me into the other room. I walked away again. he followed me again. He was hollering at me “You can’t get away, there was no way out for you!”
Walking from room to room in our tiny house, there was no place to go. In the kitchen he reached up on top of the fridge and flung EVERYTHING onto the floor. With a toddler, the top of the fridge is where things went that were important. Pictures, bills, reciepts, spare keys….All of it flying all over the kitchen. I just stood there, I was scared. Now what? Is this where he kills me? Is this where he charges me and beats the hell out of me? Crying, I dropped to my knees and started cleaning up the mess. He stepped over me and sat in the living room to watch tv.
At work I started spotting. I realized that I needed to take it a bit easier, so I told him I needed to quit my job, focus on school and not have a complicated pregnancy like the last time. Oddly, he was fine with that. I never knew what to expect.
Looking Forward 