Friends
Having moved to a different town after getting pregnant, getting married, I really didnt have too many friends anymore. He had friends though – three in particular. John, Becky and Sam. John and he had been friends since elementary school, and Becky was his new girlfriend. Becky and I became friends – which was nice, because I really felt very alone.
Shortly after our wedding we were invited to John’s family camp to hang out and spend the night. I figured any chance to be away from his mothers house was a great thing, so I was looking forward to it. It was snowing, a lot, the roads were getting bad. Becky showed up right before we did and was talking about how she’d been driving around, hit a mail box, the roads were bad, etc…suddenly he said “So which one of you am I going to have sex with first?” Thinking it was a joke I said “Not me!” He said “Ok then, come on Becky” She said “Seriously? Ok!” and they headed off to the bedroom. I was stunned. I kept thinking, any second now they’re going to come out and we’ll all have a good laugh at this.
I sat in the living room and waited, then I heard the unmistakable sound of people having sex. I was floored. I had no idea what to do. Why was he doing this? Do I try to stop it? Do I pretend like its not happening? Christ, I could use a smoke! Too bad im FIVE MONTHS PREGNANT! I can’t believe this is happening…..I went to the garage to get some air and then Becky walked out…”Hey, why didnt you come in?” Oh my god, seriously? “I couldn’t” I said. She smoked. He came out he didnt say anything to me. He smoked too. It was super awkward until John showed up. There was a quick panic when his car drove up “YOU CANT SAY ANYTHING!” they both told me. Trust me, I didn’t want anyone to know about this.
He and Becky devised a plan where they would tell John what had happened, then to make it “even” I was to sleep with John. I said no. They pushed and guilted me trying to make me go along with it. I couldnt do it. They hated me. They said they’d blamed me if John found out, if he got mad, if he left Becky and if he got mad at HIM. To this day I have no idea if John ever found out about that or not.
He apologized over and over to me the next day, saying he didnt know what he was doing, that it wasn’t that good – she was too bendy, that he thought I thought it was a good idea, he thought I’d join in… Had he never met me?! Did he not have any idea who he’d married?
As time went on, I’d come to realize no, he really had no idea.
Looking Forward 