“Fake it till you make it” works wonders for people. But it can only take you so far – said nobody ever. For the last 15 years I would’ve never been confident enough and slowly stopped recognizing too. Let’s dive deeper.
Confidence originates from when you know what you’re doing is correct and doesn’t bother anyone, is beneficial for you. It culminates when our parents start applauding us for small achievements and letting us handle big things (as big as it could be for a kid). And that develops a sense of respect for ourselves that we can handle something, yes we are good at something and there births the confidence of being ourselves. Because we already know we are doing good. We can take charge of ourselves, our emotions and actions. It’s pre-calculated in our mind from a very early age. Till we get any surprises and there’s a shock to that confidence. But more to it later.
Now when most of us don’t get such an environment around and there’s a lot of criticism in a lot of areas since childhood, the kid starts going in a cocoon and doesn’t see the world as their exhibit stage. They’re not so confident. And here, the line “fake it, till you make it” works wonders for them. It’s a fake confidence, and few people may get confused about how it actually works. So humans came with different techniques to the perusal. For example, when on stage, an overwhelmed person should imagine the audience naked, when speaking in a room full of people, think they don’t know better than you etc. And people drag through the ladder somehow but they can’t climb it later when the steps get steeper. When they face people knowing better than them, and the audience has X-Ray eyes. The fake confidence which one felt real starts to fade away. And then you are standing with a naked brain on a big stage.
What helps here is sheer hard work and determination to do something about it. Achieving things comes later. Now the real ground work starts. Remember the other kids whose parents would applaud them when they’d done a good job? You need to become that parent for yourself. You need to applaud the small achievements you have made. But taking a step back, you need to do a good job. And for that we need to work on knowing what needs to be done. So it all starts with knowing what you do, what’s around it, and being the best, a master at your job. Now that could be a good start to begin inculcating the real confidence. When you know your job the best, nobody could have alien questions you don’t know the answer to. And when you have all the answers, there’s nothing to fear. Because on the way from learning to applauding, you would have made a safe space in your mind for yourself. You will be there yourself. And then there would be nothing to get scared of.
Let’s come to the surprises part now. Whether someone is born confident or learnt, surprises are inevitable. And how you handle those when your confidence starts to fumble a bit is a difficult skill. One can never be ready enough. Or prepared enough. If one has confidence, a strong base and one or two floors on it, then one can practice grace around it. People who don’t develop this grace, are labeled having a bad attitude. Because when you’re faced with something shocking, you face the situation with either a smiling face or sunk and ignore, ending on a bad note. If you don’t have grace, you could be snobby about the situation, maybe try to run away from it by insulting others in front of you. If you have grace, that means you respect the confidence in you and the person or situation in front of you. It’s a difficult art but one can easily wear it on the sleeves. Suits everyone.
So the next time you face any situation you don’t feel confident about, you can fake it. But keep working on it. Reflect how you respond to situations. Realize how we can make the world a better place to live in for others around us too.
I hope this was helpful for you!
Keep shining⭐✨
smilefab 