Diary of a Birth Mother | Truth & Loss | Still a mother | Still telling the truth

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A free, plain-language guide for birth parents and families navigating social services and family court.

Not legal advice. Not promises.

Just clarity, grounding, and an explanation of how the system actually works so you can walk into the next meeting steadier, calmer, and more informed.

Protecting Yourself Inside the System (Free Guide)

A trauma informed support collection for birth mothers in the days and weeks after an adoption order is made final.

This package exists for the moment when professionals leave, support drops away, and the reality finally lands.

It does not offer advice or solutions.
It offers presence, safety, and grounding when the loss becomes permanent.

You don’t need to read everything.
One piece is enough.

AFTER FINALITY: SUPPORT AFTER THE ADOPTION ORDER

Adoption order final?

DONT KNOW WHERE TO START?

A calm, trauma-informed guide explaining what a Subject Access Request is, who can request one, and how to do it safely  without panic or pressure.

What Is a SARS? + How to Request Yours 

What is a SARS ( Subject access request) and how to get yours

For the hours after your child is removed when the house goes quiet and your body is in shock.

This short guide helps you slow things down, avoid irreversible mistakes, and survive the night without collapsing or punishing yourself.

You don’t need strength.

You just need to stay.

THE FIRST NIGHT WITHOUT YOUR CHILD 

The first night without your child

Letterbox contact is often framed as connection, but many birth mothers experience it as confusing, constrained, and emotionally heavy.

Letterbox Companion is a gentle, lived-experience guide designed to sit alongside letterbox contact, not to tell you what to say, but to help you feel steadier before you write.

This free download guide offers context, grounding, and honest reflection for the moments when words feel difficult, emotions feel close to the surface, or self-doubt takes over.

This is not a template pack.
It is not advice or therapy.
It does not promise outcomes or change.

It exists to offer steadiness, language, and companionship so you don’t have to arrive at the page alone.

Nothing here requires urgency.

Still a mother.
Still present.

Still a mother: A letterbox companion 

Letterbox contact

You don’t need to explain yourself here.

You don’t need to rush, perform, or decide anything today.

This space exists for steadiness, not urgency.

For truth without interrogation.

For mothers who are still present, even when the system makes that presence small.

Some of what you’ll find here is free.

Some of it is structured, paid support.

All of it is offered with clear boundaries and care.

If you’re feeling flooded, start with grounding.

If you need language, the templates exist so you don’t have to find words from scratch.

If you need space to think, that’s allowed too.

I can’t hold support conversations in DMs. Not because I don’t care, but because this work needs proper containers.

Take what helps.
Leave what doesn’t.
Nothing here requires urgency.

Still a mother.
Still present.

Start here you're NOT in trouble

🫂 STILL A MOTHER: Weekly circle

Loving without access

What this bundle is:

This bundle exists because letterbox is not just “writing a letter”

It is living with restraint, silence, hope, fear, and love repeatedly.

Most guidance tells birth mothers what to write.

This bundle supports what it costs.



LETTERBOX SUPPORT BUNDLE

The emotional reality of letterbox contact

There are parts of this experience that are never said out loud.

Not in court.

Not in reports.

Not in aftercare.

This piece names the quiet realities birth mothers live with, the waiting, the erasure, the silence, the expectation to move on while staying invisible.

Nothing to fix.

Nothing to prove.

Just truth, finally spoken.

What No One Ever Tells Birth Mothers

What noone ever tells birth mothers 

CHILD JUST BEEN REMOVED?

This is the work we’re never offered.

A deep, guided pathway through grief, shame, identity loss and ambiguous loss  written by a birth mother, for birth mothers.

Not about moving on.

About staying whole without hating yourself.

Read slowly.

Return often.

Let the shame loosen.

A Gentle Path Through Grief, Shame & Loss

A free gentle path through grief, shame and loss

If your child has been taken into foster care, everything can feel confusing, rushed, and overwhelming.

This guide helps you understand what’s happening, what to avoid, and how to stay steady in the early stages without panic, shame, or self-sabotage.

Not legal advice, Just clarity, containment, and grounding when you need it most.

How to survive your child being in foster care

If your child is in foster care

A short document explaining what this space is, what it isn’t, and the boundaries that hold it.
If you’re new here, start here.

What this space is & isn't 

A gentle, honest guide for birth mothers navigating social services involvement.

This resource explains the unspoken realities seeking support, legal advice, assessments, abuse dynamics, and why the system can feel confusing or harmful.

It’s not advice or instruction.

It’s orientation written so you’re not learning the hard way.

Surviving social services involvement

This piece exists to say one thing clearly:

You are still a mother 
even if you don’t see your child, raise them, or get recognised.

This is not motivation.

It’s identity repair.

Read when the shame creeps in.

Read when people say the wrong thing.

Read when you feel erased.

Still a Mother: You didn’t stop being their mum

You didn't stop being their mum

STILL A MOTHER:BIRTH MUM SUPPORT

A deep, trauma informed guide for birth mothers living with ongoing grief, shame and ambiguous loss.

Written in clear, human language not therapy talk.

Not about moving on.

About staying whole without self-
punishment.

Read slowly.

Return often.

The Deep Work: Grief Shame & Ambiguous Loss

How to move through grief, shame & ambiguous loss

The first hours after removal are emotionally charged and quietly observed.

This informative guide explains what those moments really are, what not to do in shock, what you can safely do, and how to protect yourself before panic actions are used against you later.

Clear, grounding, and designed for the hours that matter most.

How to Survive the First Moments

Surviving the first moments after removal 

A lived-experience support bundle for birth parents navigating letterbox contact. Includes understanding modules, adult-to-adult templates, and grounding guidance to help you stay present, contained, and emotionally safe over time.

Letterbox support suite

Understanding Letterbox contact: A Companion for writing & understanding 

When the system takes your child, it often takes your name too.

This piece helps you gently reclaim your identity as a mother, without denial, fantasy, or self-punishment.

Includes: 

identity grounding

grief validation

permission to exist fully again
This is slow work.

You can stop and start anytime.

STILL A MOTHER: IDENTITY WORK

STILL A MOTHER: Identity work 

LETTERBOX SUPPORT

This is the core DOABM guide.

It explains how the system actually works, how narratives form, what assessments are really assessing, how to stay on the ball without losing your mind, and how to remain human inside a risk-driven process.

Not about fighting.

About understanding, dignity, and staying upright.

How to understand the system

Understanding the system

Social services reports can leave parents spiralling, doubting their reality, or reacting in ways that make things worse.
This guide shows you how to read documents calmly, understand what language really means, and avoid emotional rebuttals, without turning yourself into a legal expert.

How to Read Reports Without Panicking

Read reports without panicking 

1:1 Writing support (letters & messages)

UNDERSTANDING THE SYSTEM 

Section 20 is one of the most misunderstood parts of child protection.

This guide explains what “voluntary” really means, why parents agree, what is often not explained, and how to think clearly about consent, withdrawal, and limbo, without fear-based advice or pressure.

Orientation, not instruction.

Clarity, not panic.

The Truth About “Voluntary” Care 

What you need to know about "voluntary care S20"

REACH OUT TO ME

A trauma informed companion for anyone requesting or reading their Subject Access Request (SAR).

This bundle helps you: 

understand what a SAR is (and isn’t)

navigate Stage 1 & 2 complaints and escalation

read your records safely and slowly
spot bias, inaccuracies, and red flags
challenge over-redaction

respond without oversharing or self-blame
stay emotionally regulated throughout

This is not legal advice.

It’s human support for a legal process.

One purchase.

Use at your own pace