Join me for tea.

Less than a month has past since my last entry, so I will count this as continuing to be consistent, lol.
It'll probably be somewhat long, so I'll cut it to keep from clogging up Members' Posts in any communities I'm in.

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(World's slowest artist) "Can I complete multiple Valentine's themed works in 10 days?"
Okay, man...

It's been three weeks. I really only have minor and boring developments, but I guess that is what I made this account for.
In my resolve to socialize more this year, I have attended two meetups for a BL group in my city. Lol. From the members I have met, there seems to be a pretty broad spread of media preferences across everyone. It's still very new though, so once more members show up I imagine there will be even more to add to the mix. So far we have our bases covered with The Danmei Guy, KR Manhwa Encyclopedia, Live Action Thai BL Connoisseur, JP Manga Enthusiast, The Heated Rivalry Stans... How much higher can we go...
Anyways, it's been interesting so far. I have learned a lot.
Progress has been next to nonexistent on the writing side of things. I have vague ideas that do not seem like they're ready to be fleshed out yet, so I have been picking away at Ofic nonsense that will never see the light of day, but I'm having fun with it nonetheless.
I really want to fucking write something new this year though...
Managed to get print orders submitted before CNY halts all production, so people don't have to wait until March to get their photocards and prints. Relief.
Mm reading progress... Wrapped up Time Limited Hunt (what the hell), started Killing Show and City of Angels. No opinion on either so far. I need to compile a more comprehensive reading list this year, because I feel a little too unorganized currently. Later though.

Home from con. It was a very long and very cold weekend, but I would count it as a resounding success. Friday was for window shopping, especially seeing as I could barely move my head in the ways I am used to without the beads of my mianguan slapping my eyeballs. I only brought the one cosplay with me this time, but it was a hit even among people who had no idea who I was. Similar to when I cosplay Hua Cheng, second place is reserved for enthusiastic people who know me, but first is somehow always older men and the Shonen Guys. One can immediately be elevated to bro status so long as you're shiny and aura farming (I recently learned this term and enjoy it very much lol). It happens with fascinating consistency. This is not a complaint and they're also always very kind and excited, it just makes me laugh a little.
We were joined by a (very beautiful) woman cosplaying Sukuna during a rest period that day, and at some point I expressed being anxious about paneling for the first time. She asked me if I was nervous that no one would show up, or that too many people would show up... I realized that I had no idea, hahaha. Both were somewhat unsettling in their own ways, but as with many things, I was worried over nothing and everything went really well. The presentation was a good length, and people seemed actually engaged and even came to me for questions and conversation afterwards. I don't think I am particularly funny, but it was a really gratifying feeling to make people laugh, too. We're applying to host a few other panels at another event in April; if someone reattends, I hope to hear that I was convincing enough for them to pick up a certain title... Weheheh.
Speaking of, there was a solitary Cezhou keychain being sold, which marked my very first time ever seeing them at a convention. Imagine my delight. Even more surprising was QQGK and C2P keychains, neither of which I have ever met anyone in person who has ever even read them, let alone made merch for them. It was very difficult being normal and restrained while purchasing, but I managed hahaha. I think there has to be someone out there I can talk to about these things one day.
In the end, it is always a little jarring returning to everyday life after a really eventful weekend, though. I knew that I was going to crash as soon as I got home, but I didn't expect for it to last two days... I feel like I've wasted a lot of time, but I guess it's not really my fault. A retry tomorrow, I suppose.
(Also, it's not at all that important, but I lost my 256 day reading streak along the way and I am actually rather bummed about it LOL. I know it's no big deal, really... but damn hahaha).

Took a break from hunching over Clip Studio Paint to read for a short while. This year has been a little lackluster in terms of novels I've read... I try not to DNF anything just in case the very, very end shifts my perception of the entire story--measured in my head on a scale of Kaleidoscope of Death (pissed me off) to Erha (stared at the ceiling for ten minutes)--but outside of Panguan, which I really loved, nothing has really left its mark. At the very least, majority of them were entertaining to some degree, and I only mildly disliked one title.
In that vein, I started Shangxian and I am somewhat taken aback at how unengaged I am so far, incredibly similar to the way I felt going through Copper Coins earlier this year. Mu Su Li has written some of my absolute favorite character dynamics in general, and it does make me rather sad that I'm bored by something she's written hahaha. I am hopeful that it will get better... but I did end up just rereading parts of Hei Tian since I didn't feel like dragging my feet any further... I'll finish it before the year is over.
Probably.

The topic of past or present tense relative to writing and reading preferences prompted me to dig around through some old, old drafts. Original fiction I've been chipping away at since graduating college, vague outlines of fandom-related ideas I've long since forgotten the thought processes behind... I only started posting fanfiction around September last year, so anything published aligns with what I had considered, prior to the topic being brought up, my "current" subconscious preference... But when I dusted off a laptop from my junior high school years, I found that even my original fiction from back then was also written in present tense. I realized I don't really know how I developed such a habit. I cannot think of the last thing I read that wasn't in past tense, but somehow everything has followed this pattern since I was twelve years old. Fascinating and bizarre. Maybe I'll try changing the tune for fun sometime soon.
Honestly, I was also expecting to cringe a little at what I found, but it actually wasn't so bad. My tastes and outlooks have naturally changed in quite a few ways, but overall I remain rather consistent in the themes I like to explore, the character types I prefer to write about, the dynamics that appeal to me. Not to say that I've been inflexible over the years, just when compared side-by-side, it really is no surprise that I grew into the type of writer that I am now. I am equally amused and impressed.
Even so, those are files that will remain buried in the file cabinet, never to see the light of day. It is interesting to revisit the past, but a seventh-grader is still a seventh-grader, hahaha.

I woke up with a fever. A common after effect, but… really, really troublesome, made worse by the fact that it is difficult to move. It’s a little comical that something meant to improve my health triggers something so painful, but it can’t be helped. I am incredibly bored, though. I have no issue with being idle, but I do tend to enjoy having something to do more often than not. I did get to do a few sprints today during a lull in the fever, so that did ease some of the boredom, and a bit of the loneliness.
For now, all I can really do is rest and push through the insomnia.
Here’s to a better birthday next year, wahaha.

Despite a slow start and some lingering aches, the day went fairly well. Most of my days are spent in that somewhat detached haze, but my treatment starts soon and I hold a tentative hope for improvement. The drive... is a bit of a pain, though there is no changing that.
I am, however, still faced with a broad array of half-baked projects that I continue to kick myself for having put off until the last minute, but what's done is done. Or rather, not done... Regardless, I can't go back in time and force myself to make better decisions, so continuing on is all I'll do, and hope that the products of my rushing aren't too disappointing.
In a similar vein: my fic for All Ships. Quite the learning experience. How did I struggle more with a 2k prompt fill than that 70k monster two months back? A new fandom and a new form... I still don't know if I handled it well. I laughed when my friend excitedly replied "Baby's first general fic!", but it's true. I prefer established and dramatic plots, 20k wordcounts, and, admittedly, a solid E rating as a quiet pervert. I have been out of my element for the better part of 2025, but I count this as a good thing. At the very least, this year has brought out the adventurous part of me. How novel.