message | Anything is Possible!

morning drive rays of light (2)

I had a dream about the daughter of my former colleague. Ruthie was the most compassionate and best-loved counselor I’ve ever known. She always made time for clients who needed her in spite of the mountains of paperwork piling up, in spite of the extra hours of overtime, in spite of commendations that we “worked tirelessly,” yet we got plenty tired.

My colleague came down with cancer while serving in the trenches, helping others fight the monster of addiction. For many months, she continued to work her heart out. But there came a time when the physical pain was too much. She put up a brave fight, but she had to go home. Ruthie died a couple of years ago.

Now, to the dream I had two weeks ago:

I was at a community event organized by Ruthie’s daughter, B. I saw my former colleague in the background, beaming her proud mama smile at her daughter from across the room. Later, I went up to B, gave her a big hug, and handed her a package of disposable razors.

After I woke up, I debated about whether I should tell B about the dream. I’ve run into her around town, and we are friends on Facebook. But why would I give her razors?

In spite of the weirdness, I sent B a Facebook message about the dream. She responded with excitement because she’s in the process of organizing a community event in memory of her mother. She said she knows her mother is happy. And she told me she keeps forgetting to buy razors.

I think I’m supposed to help B with this event. We’re planning to meet later today.

I can still see her mama’s big, beautiful smile.

Angels were trying to tell me.

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” – John Lennon

I’d like to go back in time, to 1972, just for a moment, when my first love had to move back to Connecticut. I want to tell my 16 year old self: It will be okay.

Next stop – 2001 after my husband left, to tell myself: I know this is a mountain you didn’t expect, but you’ll climb it. In time, it will be okay. Better than okay. Just wait! God has a plan.

For the first few years of this century, I longed for a partner who would be a good fit. Then, I wondered if there was such a thing, me being in my 50’s and all, so I started thinking I’d rather have my own kayak and settle for loyal companionship of dogs.

But in July of 2014, I found myself on an adventure with my first love, who, as you may know by now, became my second husband, the partner who is a good fit, who brought three more dogs into my home. Our home. (Lots of companionship here!) Anyway, Saturday we took our “new” tandem kayak out for a paddle around the small islands 20 miles south of our home.

After getting a good deal on the second hand tandem, someone said, “Oh, you got a divorce kayak.” Yikes! I guess tandems have a reputation for causing arguments.

So we watched this video:

David and I did great, considering it was his first time in a kayak, and it had been a couple years since I’d paddled. I had to trust him to steer from the back. It was my job up front to set the pace, and to communicate (as he patiently reminded me) if I was going to suddenly start paddling on one side to help him steer. I eventually left the most of the steering to him and gratefully let him paddle by himself a bit when I needed a break because my arms felt like rubber.

The temperature was about 90 degrees, so the droplets and splashes of water refreshed us. The sky was the bluest blue with giant cottony clouds. White ibis hunted in the marsh grass, and we got to see brown pelicans – up close and personal – pause in mid flight, watch the water, then dive for a fish. (Next time I’ll bring a waterproof camera.)

As we were driving home, tired but feeling ALIVE, with our kayak in the back of David’s truck – our truck, I realized how blessed I am.

That’s when I wanted to go to my 46 year old self, and just hold that confused and lonely woman with love. I want to somehow convey the message:

It’s going to be okay. Things are going to work out. You’ll see.

I wonder if my future self will want to come back in time to the present me when I’m worried about my grown kids dealing with their own challenges, or my own challenges, which are relatively minor these days, so she can say to me:

Don’t worry so much. Everything will be okay in the end. God has a plan.

What do you want to go back and tell yourself? Send a hug back through time.

Anything is Possible!

With Love, Hope, and Perseverance

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Dream Message

It’s Going To Be Okay!