Anything is Possible!

With Love, Hope, and Perseverance

Tag Archives: first love


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SoCS: Like a Warm Blanket

Today’s prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “blanket.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!“

Like a warm blanket. Christmas movies! snowflakes! These are a few of my favorite things. It’s been years since I’ve seen snow, and I hope moving four hours northwest will let me see some. Cast Away is not really a Christmas movie, though there is a Christmas dinner scene and gift exchange early in the movie. It seems like there’s mention of a warm blanket in the monologue toward the end. Let’s see….

Yep, the warm blanket feeling that told him he had to stay alive and keep breathing….

Cast Away came out at the turn of the century which was also the time of my divorce from my first marriage. I was devastated by that divorce, and this monologue helped, because who knows what the tide could bring? Well, about 11 years later, the tide (God/the Universe) brought my first love back to me when we were ready. What had devasted me in the year 2000 turned out to be something good in time. God took something bad and turned it into something good – we made room for something better, after I learned to love myself again.

During the lonely years in between, I remember sitting in the back of my church, feeling very down, and then I felt God’s love wrap around my shoulders like a warm blanket. It was palpable. I’ll never forget that moment. It took several more years of healing before David found me, but that feeling of God’s love, gave me hope that God had a plan. I learned to accept that it might mean me staying single. I could live with that as long as I had a dog or a cat. But God’s plan was better than I could have imagined. I just had to work on me and trust the timing.

May you feel the unconditional love of God/The Universe/Your higher Power,

wrapped around you softly like a warm blanket.

~~~

For the gallery, I typed in warm, blanket and comfort. The middle photo is a painting I did back in those in-between years.

A warm fire
Art by JoAnna
Mama Cat in carrier w blanket

And here’s David and I at the local Masquerade for Mutts. Sort of a Grandmother Nature and the Farmer…

~~~

For more streams of consciousness,

visit our wonderful host, Linda Hill

by clicking HERE.


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Guess What I Found in my Attic!

Last week, I worked on cleaning out my attic. It was a dirty, sneezy job. I hauled paper and cardboard to the recycle bin, trashed the un-recyclables, and salvaged the action figures for my grandsons.

action figures lined up

 

But the coolest thing I found in the attic was my poetry notebook from high school.

Notebook from 1972

 

One poem written in 1972 is “prophetic” as my husband called it. David’s family moved away at the end of tenth grade. I must have written this right after he left, hoping against the odds that I would see him again and believing our love would stay alive.

Notebook page from 1972

 

I was so full of hope at 16. Angsty hope. But David didn’t answer my last letter that summer of ’72, and life went on. Over the years, my first love became a distant memory.

If I’d found this notebook in my 30s, I would have shaken my head and thought, “How sappy.” But now, it reinforces that this love story was meant to be. Our love never died. It just went dormant and waited quietly for 39 years.

You can read about those 39 years and the lessons we learned along the way in

Trust the Timing, A Memoir of Finding Love Again.

Did I really know our love would stay alive? Or did I help manifest our re-connection? Was it all part of God’s plan? Did the angels see a window of opportunity and nudge us in the right direction?

I vote for all of the above.

Oh, how I wish today’s teenagers only had learning and love to deal with.

 

Hang on to your hopes.

 

Good things coming

 


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When Love is Forever

Toady’s Stream of consciousness prompt is the word, WHEN. We are to start our post with that word. Does that mean it has to be all caps? Does that mean we are emphasizing the word, WHEN? Yelling it? Like, when I would ask my teenagers many years ago (though not that many) WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM?

When I first saw this prompt, the first thing that popped into my head was an old song from many years ago (yes many) by The Lettermen, “When I Fall in Love.” Such a goopy, romantic song that went like this: “When I fall in love, it will be forever, or I’ll never fall in love…”  It was a set up for heartbreak.

I just looked the song up, and it appears it came out in 1962, at least by the harmonic Lettermen. I would have been 7 years old, so it’s not like I was thinking all the time about falling in love, though I did have a “boyfriend,” but that’s another story I might not ever tell. Most likely, my sister, who was 10 years older than me, listened to it on a transistor radio, or on The Ed Sullivan Show. That’s how it got into my head that falling in love would be forever, so when my first true love moved back to Connecticut at the end of 10th grade, after we’d gone steady for just 7 months, I was even more heartbroken because of that song!

Of course, I had another boyfriend by the end of the summer. But not before quite a bit of pining, and crying, and writing letters, because love was supposed to be FOREVER!

There are a few old boyfriends who I never want to see again, a couple I’m curious about, and one I run into now and then. That love was not forever. But my first love, who came back many, many years later, WHEN we were ready, maybe that WAS forever. What I mean is, maybe it was meant to be forever from the beginning.

There are some people I will love forever: my kids, my parents, and my first love, just to name a few. My grand kids, dogs, God, and Jesus have my forever love, too.

Here’s the song. I still like the harmonies. It’s not such a bad song. It’ll take you back if you’ve been there before.

The Saturday Stream of Consciousness is brought to you by Linda G. Hill who blogs at:

https://lindaghill.com/2017/08/25/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-aug-2617/

Where you can see more Stream of Consciousness writing.

SOC winner 2017

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours. Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!

 


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I Can See Clearly Now

Song Lyric Sunday

When I saw today’s theme was to share a song surrounding a happy memory, I wanted to find one from 1972, the year I fell in love for the first time. When I looked at the list for the top 100 songs from that year, there were so many good ones! But it was the sad songs I remembered best. In 1972, My first love moved 700 miles away at the end of the school year.  “Precious and Few,” by Bread, was bittersweet, and Harry Nilsson’s “Without You,” made me wail.

Then, I came across “I Can See Clearly Now,” by Johnny Nash. It didn’t make a big impression on me when it came out in 72, but it has brought me comfort and affirmation over the years.

In 2003, I had just broken free from the blinding rebound from hell and was on a freedom road trip with my almost teenage daughter. We sang a lot on road trips back then. When I taught her Helen Reddy’s “I am Woman,” she was not as enthusiastic as I’d hoped, but maybe that’s because I sang it at the top of my lungs. On our way home, a rainbow appeared in front of us, and the song, “I Can See Clearly Now” came to me. Or maybe it came on the radio. Anyway, it became my victory song for that year. It packs a powerful dose of hope.

 

Today, my physical eyesight is not so clear, but my spirit can see clearly that things work out wonderfully when the time is right. I am grateful beyond words.

Song Lyric Sunday is brought to us by Helen at:

https://helenswordsoflife.com/2017/06/03/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-6417/

where you’ll find more good memories.

 


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Intoxicating Smells

 

mimosa flower close up

Right before I read today’s Stream of Consciousness Prompt, I was outside picking up mimosa flowers in my backyard. Some people seem to find mimosas a nuisance. The flowers are everywhere, littering, NO, not littering, gracing my back steps, patio and yard. I  think mimosas are delightful. They are not “invasive” to me. They are prolific. And their flowers are intoxicating – mildly intoxicating. When I pick up a mimosa flower and breathe in it’s gentle fragrance, my eyes close and roll back a bit in my head.

Mimosa fragrance is milder than honeysuckle, my other favorite flower smell. Gardenia is nice, but it can be a bit much. Another smell I love is a wood fire. I don’t much like sleeping on the ground any more, but I remember going camping in years passed and not wanting to wash my clothes because of the smell of wood smoke bringing back memories of sitting around the fire and looking at the stars.

And I can’t leave out the intoxicating smell of my first love when he found me again after 39 years. I hope you don’t get tired of me writing about that, but I might have some new followers who don’t know about it. It’s just fascinating to me how intoxicating I found his smell when we first reconnected in 2011. My nose would linger over his neck and drink in the mild, almost imperceptible scent of his skin. That scent must have imprinted hard on my 16 year old brain. That’s just one of the many things you can read about when my book comes out sometimes this summer. Maybe even next month…. I wonder if it will smell good. Don’t you just love the smell of old books, or new books? Kinda weird for a lover of trees to love the smell of books and burning wood. Sorry about that trees. What can I say? Smell is complicated.

socsbadge2016-17

Today’s SocS prompt, “smell,” is brought to you by, Linda G. Hill at:

https://lindaghill.com/2017/05/26/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-may-2717/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!


by 16 Comments

Soulmates: Finding a Good Fit

puzzle pieces

Since I often use the word, soulmate, That Girl’s post: The Soulmate Phenomenon, grabbed my attention. It got me thinking about the word, “soulmate,” which can mean different things to different people. I never liked the expression, “my other half,” or “my better half.” I am not half a person. My soul was okay without a human partner,  especially having human and animal friends who loved me. Yet, at times, I did feel like something was missing. I considered that annoying void carefully.  If my soulmate was still out there, I didn’t want to get side tracked (again) by an impostor. I clarified what qualities my soulmate would have.

Here are some things I’ve learned about soulmates:

What is a soulmate? The word, soulmate sounds romantic, but for me, it goes beyond romance. It’s someone who is a good fit – not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. My soulmate is someone who nourishes my soul, my true self, the part of me that will live on into eternity. My soulmate was meant for me. He gets me.

Who Can it Be? Can we have more than one soulmate?  I believe so. I probably thought my first husband was my soulmate. At first we were a good fit. But in the twenty years we were married, we both changed and grew in different directions. I think I changed more than he did. He would probably agree, but I wouldn’t swear to it. My soul was pretty shaken when he left. After that, I had a much deeper appreciation for my friends. It’s possible that a close friend or relative  could be a soulmate.

When is he (or she) going to get here? A soulmate comes when we are ready. He or she may leave and come back again. The man I am now married to was my first love. We dated for less than a year, then he was gone – a sweet memory for 39 years – until the time was right. Though he says it would not have worked out when we were younger, we are clearly a good fit, now. He nourishes my soul. He feels like my soulmate. Maybe he’s my super soulmate.

Why Care? It’s different for everyone, but having a partner or close friend to share life with is a comfort, and in many cases, increases longevity, as long as that person is a good fit, someone who respects you and doesn’t add constant stress to your life. Being with someone who understands and nurtures us, improves the quality of life. Soulmates encourage healthy growth and well being in one another.

How to find one? In my April newsletter, I’ll be sharing about the five steps I took that helped my soulmate find me. Here’s the overview:

  • Clarify desires
  • Turn it over
  • Work on YOU
  • Focus on friendship
  • Imagine!

For details coming next week, sign up for my monthly newsletter at the sidebar on the right.

Or just click here:  http://eepurl.com/cLDxdD

What are your thoughts about soulmates?  Do you think we can have more than one?


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The Long and Winding Road

Song Lyric Sunday

Helen was excited about her theme for today’s Song Lyric Sunday, and I can see why. Road trips!  For today’s theme, we are asked to post our favorite road trip song or a song about road trips. I remember that sense of adventure when we’d get up before dawn to get a jump on the traffic. Ah the memories!  Even packing can be exciting. Veering off the path a bit and taking the long way home, 😉  I’m sharing one of my all time favorites, one more time. This song by the Beatles became even more dear to me when my first love returned four decades later. I imagine it as part of the soundtrack if  when my book  becomes a movie.

“The Long and Winding Road,” by John Lennon and Paul McCartney

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I’ve seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door
The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way
Many times I’ve been alone
And many times I’ve cried
Any way you’ll never know
The many ways I’ve tried
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me waiting here
A long long time ago
Don’t leave me standing here
Lead me to your door
 Here’s the video:
https://youtu.be/R4PNZoxoG3s

 

May your road trip be amazingly joyful!

Here are the “rules” for Song Lyric Sunday:

  • Post the lyrics to the song of your choice, whether it fits the theme or not
  • Please try to include the songwriter(s) – it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due and it’s honestly just a simple Google search
  • Make sure you also credit the singer/band and provide a link to where you found the lyrics
  • Link to the YouTube video, or pull it into your post so others can listen to the song
  • Ping back to this post or my own Song Lyric Sunday post
  • Read at least one other person’s blog so we can all share new and fantastic music and create amazing new blogging friends in the process


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Four Years Ago…

afterglow-3

December 1, 2012

 

I never would have imagined that at the age of 56, after twenty years of marriage and the unexpected divorce that brought me to my knees, after the rebound from hell followed by the rebound from purgatory, and after five years of celibacy when I almost gave up on romance, that I would end up marrying the love of my life.

God had a plan all along. We just had to be ready. Not perfect, just ready to work on our stuff together.

Never give up.

You never know

what wonderful surprises

are waiting right around the corner!

 


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Autumn 1971

leaves-and-feather-v

Photo by JoAnne Silvia

 

It was around this time in 1971 that I met my first love at my best friend’s party. So, I thought you might like to read about that in the  following excerpt from Chapter 1 my upcoming book, Trust the Timing.

October’s cool air finally brought relief from the summer heat and added restless excitement to the new school year. Terry and I had been hanging out in her room,  lamenting about not having boyfriends. Then her eyes lit up.

“I know! Let’s have a party!”

“You mean a Halloween party?”

“No. That’s for kids. I’m talkin’ about a cool party. Maybe my parents will let us have it in the garage.”

This would be nothing like our usual Saturday night sleepovers. No Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. No Chef Boyardee pizza in a box. No prank phone calls. It would be our first real high school party with boys, and possibilities swirled around in my head.

In two months, I would be sixteen and still had not had a decent first kiss. That awkward moment in the backyard with Harold from down the street laying on top of me didn’t count. His impatient kiss bruised my lips with urgent pressure. It lacked imagination and certainly didn’t get him any further.

Our friend Caroline, the one with the big, beautiful lips, loved kissing and described kisses that sounded like the exact opposite of Harold’s, like the luxurious kiss that lasted the entire length of the song, “Crystal Blue Persuasion.” I wondered if I would ever have kiss like that.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” she encouraged. “Just let it happen naturally.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Terry argued. “I still can’t forget Tommy Rayburn putting his bubble gum in my mouth when he kissed me. It was disgusting! I had more fun kissing my bedroom mirror.”

Before the party, Terry and I plastered one wall of her parents’ garage with psychedelic black light posters across from her Bob Dylan poster on the other side. Along with Dylan, we played Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. A friend brought over a flashing strobe light with the warning that it could make some people feel sick if you left it on too long, so we used it sparingly.

As people arrived through the kitchen and started mingling, Terry and I looked at each other and grinned. This was going to be good. Her parents hardly checked on us, but greeted people at the front door and directed them to the garage. We were pretty well behaved anyway. If anything bad happened, it happened in the back seat of somebody’s car, though few of us had cars back then.

I felt a wave of shyness as the room started to fill up, and went to sit on the large trunk at the back of the garage. Terry floated from person to person, welcoming everyone and laughing. I was satisfied to sit back and take in the scene.

In walked this tall, lean guy who grabbed my attention right away. He must have been at least 6 feet tall. At 5’8, I was still awkwardly taller than most guys my age. He looked a lot older than someone in tenth grade, like he could easily pass for a senior. He wore an olive green military field jacket over a T-shirt and jeans. His wavy blond hair fell over his eyebrows but didn’t cover his ears. He smiled slightly as someone caught his attention. Caroline waved at him from across the room with a big smile, and he walked over to her. I realized he must be the one she invited from her French class.

I surveyed the room thinking maybe I should try to mingle. But it was so much easier to just watch. I looked back at the tall guy standing with Caroline and a couple other people. It wasn’t just his height that attracted me. There was something about him, a look of maturity in his soft eyes as he listened, not saying much. His focus drifted from the conversation, and he caught me staring at him. The 7UP bubbles dancing in my paper cup suddenly became very interesting.

From my perch, I watched out of the corner of my eye as he walked over to the cooler to get a soda. When the strobe light came back on, I lost sight of him as more people came in.

“Turn that damn thing off!” somebody yelled a couple minutes later.

When the regular lights came back on, I started to scan the room and almost jumped when he appeared on my right, standing next to the trunk, like he’d always been there.

__________________________

It’s still a  Work in Progress, so let me know what you think. And feel free to sign up for updates on the book via my monthly newsletter. This should take you there.

(The excerpt and photo above belong to JoAnne Silvia and may not be used except with permission and when clear credit is given to the author.)


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ART Acrostic

SOC badge with butterfly

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt is the word, “art.”

That’s both easy and hard. I have lots of posts about art, and I don’t want to repeat myself too much. Maybe I could have some fun with this.

Always

Rings

True

At the

Right

Time

Atoms

Run

Through

Along

Revelries

Thine.

Angels

Rise

To

Assist

Real

Touch of

Aquamarine

Rays

Toward

Alabaster

Refuge

Temples.

 

I had no idea that was going to happen. But art has  returned to my life like my first love did, when the time was right. I had a feeling art would come back into my life. I’ve been thinking for years, “I’m supposed to be panting angels.” Now, I finally have begun. Writing the above acrostics led me to recall my most recent angel painting, below.

 

blue rescue

Rescue. (Acrylic on canvas by JoAnne Silvia)

 

To join in and/or read other Stream of Consciousness posts, visit:

 

https://lindaghill.com/2016/07/29/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-july-3016/

Here are the rules:

1. Your post must be stream of consciousness writing, meaning no editing, (typos can be fixed) and minimal planning on what you’re going to write.

2. Your post can be as long or as short as you want it to be. One sentence – one thousand words. Fact, fiction, poetry – it doesn’t matter. Just let the words carry you along until you’re ready to stop.

3. There will be a prompt every week. I will post the prompt here on my blog on Friday, along with a reminder for you to join in. The prompt will be one random thing, but it will not be a subject. For instance, I will not say “Write about dogs”; the prompt will be more like, “Make your first sentence a question,” “Begin with the word ‘The’,” or simply a single word to get your started.

4. Ping back! It’s important, so that I and other people can come and read your post! For example, in your post you can write “This post is part of SoCS:” and then copy and paste the URL found in your address bar at the top of this post into yours.  Your link will show up in my comments for everyone to see. The most recent pingbacks will be found at the top. NOTE: Pingbacks only work from WordPress sites. If you’re self-hosted or are participating from another host, such as Blogger, please leave a link to your post in the comments below.

5. Read at least one other person’s blog who has linked back their post. Even better, read everyone’s! If you’re the first person to link back, you can check back later, or go to the previous week, by following my category, “Stream of Consciousness Saturday,” which you’ll find right below the “Like” button on my post.

6. Copy and paste the rules (if you’d like to) in your post. The more people who join in, the more new bloggers you’ll meet and the bigger your community will get!

7. As a suggestion, tag your post “SoCS” and/or “#SoCS” for more exposure and more views.

8. Have fun!