The Nobel Prize-winning French author Annie Ernaux (neé Duchesne) is definitely an author who intrigues me. She writes, with great candour, clarity and vulnerability, about various aspects of the female experience, including adolescence, sex, abortion and family, as her work demonstrates a keen interest in broader society, from aspects of social development and progression to the relationship between the personal and the universal.
First published in France in 1997, Shame is another illuminating entry in Ernaux’s broader project to examine various aspects of her life – an ethnological study of sorts, in which she homes in on various experiences, bringing them out of the darkness and into the light. The book, which is classified as autofiction, takes as its jumping-off point a terrifying incident that took place in the Duchesne family home shortly before Annie’s twelfth birthday. One Sunday afternoon, an argument broke out between Annie’s parents over lunch, a disagreement that quickly escalated into what we would now term domestic abuse.
My father tried to kill my mother one Sunday in June, in the early afternoon. (p. 13)
[…] He stood up and I saw him grab hold of my mother and drag her through the café, shouting in a hoarse, unfamiliar voice. I rushed upstairs and threw myself on to the bed, my face buried in a cushion, Then I heard my mother scream: “My daughter!” Her voice came from the cellar adjoining the café. I rushed downstairs, shouting “Help!” as loud as I could. In the poorly-lit cellar, my father had grabbed my mother by the shoulders, or maybe the neck. In his other hand, he was holding the scythe for cutting firewood which he had wrenched away from the block where it belonged. At this point all I can remember are sobs and screams. Then the three of us are back in the kitchen again. My father is sitting by the window, my mother is standing near the cooker and I am crouching at the foot of the stairs. I can’t stop crying. (p. 14)
By the evening, Annie’s parents had resumed their normal routines. The café they run was reopened as usual, and the incident was never mentioned again. Nevertheless, this sudden eruption of violence had a profound impact on Annie, precipitating a feeling of shame that remained through much of her adult life. Having never written about this incident before, Annie decides to examine it in detail, casting her mind back to 1952 and that extraordinary day in June.
To convey what her life was like back then, Ernaux examines the social context that shaped her upbringing in Yvetot in the early ‘50s, from her family’s social class and the behavioural codes in the local neighbourhood to the rules and regulations dictated by the private Catholic school she attended at the time. In short, it’s a way of situating the abusive incident in a broader context. Not as a means of excusing it or lessening its seriousness; rather, Ernaux seems more interested in exploring how social conditions – class, religion and various associated behavioural codes feed into the feeling of shame she has carried with her for forty-five years.
Revealing the moral precepts of the world I knew as a twelve-year-old conjures up, albeit briefly, the indescribable oppressiveness and sense of confinement which I experience in my dreams. (p. 57)
What emerges is a vivid portrayal of Annie’s home life in a working-class neighbourhood of Yvetot, Normandy, in the early 1950s, with all its routines and restrictions. Having lived through the war, Annie’s parents worked hard to make a success of their grocery store and café while also being acutely conscious of the prevailing social codes in place within the town. As we read, it becomes increasingly apparent that some of the shame Ernaux feels stems from being raised in a community that demanded conformity and acceptance. Fitting in with everyone else was the main aim here, while individuality and points of difference were often seized upon as failings. After all, no one wanted to be the subject of idle gossip in the neighbourhood!
People were continually spying on each other. It was essential to learn about other people’s lives, so that they could be talked about, and to protect one’s own, so that it couldn’t be. It was a tricky balance, “worming information out of someone” but not letting them do the same in return, or else just “saying what you could afford to reveal.” (p. 52)
People’s conduct was scrutinized and their behaviour analysed in minute detail, including the most personal traits; these signs were gathered and interpreted, shaping the history of other people. (pp. 52–53)
People were judged by their ability to socialise and mix with others. Those who were straightforward and polite were considered ‘good,’ while those who kept to themselves were looked down on and pigeonholed as odd or undignified. Politeness in public was valued above almost anything else; but inside the privacy of the family home, these external behavioural codes could be relaxed. In fact, continuing them in private might have been viewed as deliberately hypocritical or malevolent. Those succumbing to immoral acts were also widely derided.
There was an outright condemnation of divorcees, Communists, unmarried couples, single mothers, women who drank, who got an abortion, whose heads were shaved at the Liberation, who didn’t keep their house tidy and so on. (p. 53)
School also had a significant impact on Annie’s life. She was the first and only member of her family to receive a private education, which was seen as an acceptable badge of honour within the community. Religion and education shaped the guiding principles at Annie’s Catholic school. Consequently, pupils had to adhere to strict codes of conduct, covering everything from acceptable books and films to socialising outside school. For instance, mixing with girls from the town’s public school was actively discouraged.
For the most part, Annie was considered an excellent student – someone who performed well in class but was also talkative enough to avoid being ostracised by her classmates. However, another incident contributed to Annie’s feelings of shame that summer, and this time, there were implications for how she was perceived at school. Late one night, at the end of a long school trip, Annie’s teacher and a few of her classmates happened to see her mother in a soiled nightgown – not the kind of garment that should ever have been viewed in public, even in an unguarded moment while opening the front door. Although much less serious than the abusive outburst in June, this slip-up created a shameful impression of Annie’s homelife, suggesting something sordid and improper about her family and their values.
In my memory, this scene, although barely comparable to the one in which my father tried to kill my mother, is seen as its sequel. As if the sight of my mother’s loose, unsupported flesh and suspect nightgown had exposed the way we lived in who we truly were. (p. 93)
It was another pivotal moment in Annie’s development, which, together with the event in June, had a profound impact on her outlook and sense of self. Consequently, shame became a way of life for Annie, a part of her internal make-up and psyche that proved impossible to shake. Everything about her existence felt synonymous with shame, from the bedroom she had to share with her parents due to their lack of space, to the drunken customers at the café and those who could not afford to pay.
Something that Ernaux does particularly well here is to use the personal to highlight something universal – a sensation or insight we can all relate to in one form or another. Who among us hasn’t experienced something akin to the soiled nightgown moment, particularly where a parent or other family member is concerned? Very few, I suspect. Moreover, the fact that Ernaux attended a Catholic school feels particularly significant here, tapping into the ways in which guilt might be leveraged to ensure conformity with strict religious precepts.
In writing this book, Ernaux uses these incidents as a springboard for examining how shame was embedded in the society she was raised in, encompassing the links to social class, religion and the dominant social codes of the day. Like Happening and Simple Passion, Shame benefits from the combination of objectivity, clarity and precision that defines much of Ernaux’s autofictional work, making it a thought-provoking read for anyone interested in the social history of this period. Definitely recommended, especially for fans of creative non-fiction.










