I have been away for quite a long time now. I never thought I would come back to my blog for many reasons. After two years of writing and posting and commenting on other fellow bloggers’ posts, I was exhausted. To make matters worse I went through a period of self-seclusion and deprivation from many mundane things. During this absence I’ve had many great ideas about posts I should have written, of things troubling me and observations made while being in a “lock-up”. Yet, every time I set down to write, my thoughts had vanished, or they did not hold any sort of importance any longer. I felt lazy and lost, in my world, routine and loneliness.
The choices we make in our lives may not be the best nor well-thought at the time, but they do indeed serve a purpose, even if that same purpose is damaging. I do believe theirs is a sadomasochistic side to each and every one of us and though some have an outlet for that, others do not. For my part, I have truly outdone myself on performing the masochistic role throughout my life. There’s no judgment behind this last statement at all, I am merely expressing a truth.
I have always fought against all those (usually religious people) who believe that by denying yourself almost everything, you are closer to God and piety. My reasoning, to which sad persons are totally oblivious, is very simple; how and why would God care what you denied yourself in the first place, if He/She is ever loving and forgiving and always wants the best for his/her children? You can pick any holy book you want and believe in any god you want, yet the everlasting constant is that God, be that of the three monotheistic religions, or gods of any other one, never limit themselves when it comes excess. So why should we?
As John Donne puts it; Why should reason and intent born in me, make my sins more heinous? We are creature of intent and need. We crave, we desire, we lust, we hate, we love, we loathe. We are in a nutshell, driven. Why is loss acceptable as part of life, while gain is seen as selfish, prideful and a sin? Continue reading






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