An Alcoholic’s Perfect Dream Holiday

Can you blame them???

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The Silence Within

The silence within, the worst enemy of one’s self. When you shut yourself from expressing anything of worth, and allow nothing unless absolutely necessary to your daily routine.

These are moments of extreme internal pain. When your soul feels drained of any human attribute. When you have no empathy left for yourself, let alone for others. Moments of self-pity and depression, of darkness. The abyss called [life] and [living].535416_527912970570414_715900205_n

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A Face to Remember VI

The Egg by Timothy Weir

I’m sure most of you know I’m not a believer in God, actually I try to avoid that name as much as I can for different reasons. Yet, when I read this it spoke to me, not because it was God speaking, but because the message it transcends. As a Karma believer, I’m always reminded what my actions with cause as a reaction, and as much as I try to be good, I end up owning the feelings I feel, thus becoming them. It’s the ego within that doesn’t allow truth to be seen. Enjoy this read as much as I did…

The Egg

By: Timothy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty. Continue reading

Panic Attack is a BITCH!!!

Why is that a panic attack will sneak up on you when you have absolutely nothing to worry about? 

I was at home the other day just chillin’, watching my favorite shows and all of a sudden my body went on a full alert mode, tears coming down for who knows what reason and being afraid for some reason, hyperventilating like I had just finished a triathlon. I’m sure most of you know that feeling, and if you don’t than you’re now human (no offense). I think a panic attack is like an evil boss who sneaks up on you at your little cubicle just to make your already fucked up day worse. Continue reading

Preface: Thank You All for Your Able Assistance.

I have so enjoyed reading posts from different bloggers in the past couple of weeks. From psychology, to philosophy, to everyday wit, photography, poetry and more. It always amazes me how many people out there have something to say and how much we have in common in times where finding things in common is as rare as getting your favorite items on sale.

Meanwhile, I have decided a different approach to writing, and that is posting pics. I’ve said it before and I’ll repeat it again, pictures are part of me, every single one of them is a piece of me with which I express my current feelings. I know some are controversial to say the least, but aren’t we all a bit nonconformists ourselves? Instead of writing an essay about the evils of everyday life, or about personal sexual bliss, or BPD and so on, I’ve decided with pictures to achieve the same goal and get the message across. Like poetry, which is hard for me to comprehend, pictures can be interpreted in many different ways, thus allowing the viewer to come to their own conclusions, or at least stir certain emotions in them otherwise they would not have had. Continue reading

Spotlight – Full Moon Ramblings

As the saying goes; two minds are better than one, I feel obliged to explain certain aspects of my recent post. There are moments in life when everything comes crumbling down at once to the point where your psyche screams of agony trying to make sense out of nonsense. When darkness dwells you can’t see the spotlight, that one little dot of light telling you where to go. It’s a shame most of us don’t know how to understand one another and listen, truly listen without judgement nor the gutteral need to give advice. One simple truth; we are all people trying to be heard and understood, to find one moment of peace in the midst of madness and chaos. Last thing we need is have someone “tell” us When and How and What to do in order for things to get better. Beware of those people, they haven’t gotten their own lives straightened out yet. So now I’m in the spotlight.

March 24th 2011

Sleepless night, unquiet heart

Beating in a terrifying rhythm

Estranged from the rest

Purposely trying to survive the nightmarish claws of one self’s

Eyes glimmering in the darkness while the last breath chokes inside

Gasping for air, clawing my bed to shreds

Oh dear life I’m going to miss you for merciful death takes me away

In one last eternal second all that it is I have ceased to exist Continue reading

Eternal – I was, I Am No More…

Before…

After…

Chocolate Syrup – 3 a.m. Cravings…

In human form, of human born, yet not a soul within his flesh

I wonder at times of humanity’s path. The very word Human needs some exploring in order to better understand the purpose and its behavior. What makes us human? What makes us better? What fuels us? Our desires, aspirations, dreams and ambitions are just but a few attributes. There’s kindness, selflessness, sympathy and empathy. There’s love, devotion, truthfulness, honesty. There’s guilt, shame, evil, negligence and madness. There’s jealousy, hatred, judgment, anger. Either divided or in pairs the attributes mentioned above are part of our everyday lives. Continue reading

Pieces of Me – Someone Hurt me Today

Whenever you see a face, remember there’s a life hidden behind it, whatever it may look like, the face and the person who’s it belongs to have a history of sorrow inside them. (Lucianus 2012)

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Friday Qoute II by Lucianus

Pleasure is not a carnal sin, but more a natural instinct to break free, to experience every possibility, to be happy.

Friday Quote by Lucianus

If you want to look into the eyes of good and evil, you only have to look into a mirror for God and the Devil reside within each and every one of us.

A Day in the Life of a Mental Hospital Patient By Jennifer O’Brien

coneBefore you go any further, I just wanted to let you know that having been many times in a mental ward (hate that word) this really struck a cord, and wanted to share with you what it really feels like to be there. I hope it’s informative, and at the same time it gives you a perspective on the crucial fact; No one chooses to be in these places, but you must do what you can to stay alive and make it through when there’s no other person around to lean on…

A Day in the Life of a Mental Hospital Patient

By Jennifer O’Brien

6:05 am: You lie awake in your tiny bed, underneath the salmon covers, your neck sore from sleeping on one pillow (you asked for another but you’ll need a doctor’s order to have more than one.) Your sleep medicine has worn off and you are now once again a prisoner to your insomnia.

All there is to do now is listen to your roommate snore and mutter to herself in her sleep and the sounds of the nurses talking and phones ringing at the nurses station. You remember a Seroquel-induced nightmare you had previously in the night in which you were trapped in a house that was filling with water, drowning and gasping for air. You make a mental note to mention the dream to your doctor later on.

7:00 am: Morning checks. A tech bangs on your door just as you have started to drift off into a sweet sleep again and informs you that you must be up for breakfast in thirty minutes. You incoherently moan something that resembles an “OK,” roll over and close your eyes again.

7:10 am: Brush your teeth, brush your hair, make your bed, and put on a sweatshirt.

7:15 am: You drag your exhausted body out of bed and grab a cup of the weakest, wateriest coffee you have ever ingested from the nurses station. You line up against the wall and prepare to be paraded down to the cafeteria.

7:30 am: Breakfast time. Today is Friday so it’s pancake day, which means spirits are high among the residents. Eggs with cheese, bacon, grits and cereal are also served in the cafeteria, which reminds you of the one that you ate in during your elementary school years. You opt for Cheerios, which you will eat by putting three at a time into your spoon (you are very ritualistic when it comes to your eating habits) and a few sips of black coffee. Continue reading

ICARUS – I Want to Fly Away….

The myth of Icarus is both enchanting, inspiring, as well as a tragedy. It has captured people’s imagination for millenia and at the same time it has brought us a message which different f each of us. We are all Icarus of some sort, each in his own way. Our dream to fly away is ever present, yet today we find ourselves laving our places by mans of jet engines….more on Icarus here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icarus

Photography by François Rousseau beautifully done.

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EXISTENTIALISM, EQUATION, PARODOX AND THE (X) FACTOR

It’s a peculiar imbecility of our times to view one’s self always compared to those around us. I understand the need to self-check in order to realize why and where we are in life, and what steps need to be made next in order to better ourselves and our lives, yet I will never understand how we can compare to family, friends, and acquaintances and so on as a beacon to which to aspire. I speak from my own experience in life having done so and still, at times, do. I realize my need to be better and looking to those “up the ladder” for inspiration and guidance, yet as time has proved, most of those people seldom share, and guide even less. Instead, the best they can do is judge or give out advice like candy to a kid. By this, I’m not pointing fingers or blaming anyone, on the contrary, I just want to point out that human behavior is far from understanding and more into “Reflective Judgment” of one kind or another. Once more I would like to stress I’m not blaming nor am I finger pointing, just stating the truth, for I myself have done at times the same thing, with those I though less “together” than myself. Continue reading

Schizophrenia by Clownponders

Schizophrenia

Oct27 by clownponders

Background Of The Poem
I found out yesterday that my closest friend has been put in a mental hospital because he has been diagnosed with schizophrenia. According to the Doctors it was the cannabis that has finally caused it but his recent accident (he got hit by a bus) was a contributing factor. Smoking cannabis made him so paranoid he thought people threw him in front of the bus which has drove him insane. I’ve wrote this poem to try to get some of the symptoms across and get awareness that people may think Cannabis is harmless but in the long-term on the wrong brain you may also end up in hospital. Please share and help me spread the word, Thanks :)

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