THE INCESSANT HUMMING OF INDIFFERENCE

Again, again it comes.
Like a fog rolling through the bones.
The spectre of despondence.
Kiss me gently to lure beyond the overwhelm.
An evil bloomed deep within.
Long ago, when the marrow was fusing.
Pockets of little daisies, poisonous reminders of mortality.
When it all ends, when the judgements fall.
What separates the life from one lived?
Too long the accustomed thoughts of apathy have prevailed.
Followed me from childhood.
When the toys were smashed, when the protectors abandoned.
When the expectations came with their sticky bulldoze.
What if I were my future?
Those lives you hoped for, yet did nothing to uphold.
Who separates the child from the man?
These parameters find their place, and force a rejection.
Of engagement, of evolution.
A soul, inside a man; with eyes of a child.
And a heart decomposing from the start.

Dreaming of entropy

Dreams are never what they seem.
You in diamonds, light pouring from a wound.
Blink.
Breathe.
Repeat.
And when you wake, the world collapses.
A world of grey and full of ache.
Happy to sweep under invisible rugs.
Pushed to the outer borders of a mind twisted into believing the worst.
Not knowing now what has gone before.
Are the plants that grow from the cracks green within?
Or do they cry rubies in the dew drops of dawn.
Born from their charcoal heart.
A particle captures my eye.
Bleeding into wonderous indifference.
The state of being unsure.
Caught within the dream, beneath a reality which goes through motions.
Lies.
Pain.
Acceptance.
Staining my skin like coffee spilt on the bible.
Seeping through sacred cells and existence.
The flower of my heart is scorched.
The edges of my mind feather like angel wings.
Yet it will not fly.
It will not bloom.
It all remains caught, between a dream and that other.
Afraid of time, and of going home.
Strung up and out like broken bones.
Painful to touch, yet eager to feel something.
The chaos is welcomes like a hurricane to my door.
Hoping it rages and blows it all into something new.