elementalrain

I realize I haven't really been paying attention to this. This used to be my true diary, in fact, I came up with this name thinking noone would ever find me.

I wonder now, would they find me? Is this still a safe space?


I wonder this as it's 6 in the morning and I'm still awake because of stress and some unnecessary self-inflicted drama stress. 


I'm 27. Why do I feel 17. 

love this song

[Error: unknown template qotd]I definitely am.  The unfortunate thing is that i'm not as skinny as I was 10 years ago, but I'm definitely a much better person...

Then again, we're talking the difference between 16 and 26.  There's a lot that happens in those years:

the loss of teenage insecurity, teenage angst, but the gaining of a multitude of experiences that cause you to gain a different kind of anger, and a whole lot of distrust.

I know back then i was a lot more open to the concept of love, in fact, i couldn't wait til i found the one and could share my entire life with them.

Nowadays I shy away from it, and purposely make myself unavailable in some ways.

This is just me ranting.

I answered this question, kinda a neat feature...tonight was weird, some weird vibes all around.
 

do you feel like a man when you push her around?

oh hellz yeah.

Just was singing this with a co-worker. "Back in school we used to dream about this every day...!"

and to juxtapose the song that reminds me of home, this song makes me smile that i live in SF. I guess I've always been a city girl ^_^

Here is what the situation is right now:
1. Stomach is full of a burger from Q.
2. Joining the burger is half a half pitcher of sangria (a fourth? Is that like a forty?)
3. Chilling out with the laptop warming my legs.
4. Looking up emo songs on youtube.
5. The weird pictures that people put to emo songs in videos is making me wonder. Wondering what I would be wearing if i was in high school right now. you know what pisses me off just a little bit? the grade school kids that would laugh or be afraid of me in my black lipstick and red hair and vinyl pants and chains and trenchcoats are now the emo kids that feel that the world "doesn't get them" and the need to "cut myself". shut up. just because your mom didn't let you borrow the prius to go to the mall and act like you don't like chain restaurants doesn't give you the right to cut yourself.
6. Hello. how are you?
7. All in all happy. Just a little ranty and self reflecty. Speaking of which, are we really supposed to believe Medusa NEVER saw her reflection? Really? Like noone else thought of that or she didn't accidentally walk by one or a puddle of water or something? really? serious? cmon let's be real.
8. On that topic, what the fuck was Oedipus thinking?! If someone told me my fate was to kill my father and sleep with my mother I sure as HELL would not be killing ANYONE old enough to be my father and i sure as FUCK would not be sleeping with ANYONE who was older than me. AT ALL. Just to be safe.

Okay done. Randomness over. I think.

Hmm.  I seem to only be updating this every year, and right after wondercon...

Debating if i should link my new blog to this old blog.  Wondering if the worlds will collide.

Candice from 2009 is very different than Candice from 2006.  Especially 2005.


Anyone still reading this one?

i freaked out when i went to bed tonight, a freaking gecko was in my bed...and it was a yucky blackish one too..

have yet to determine if black color has to do with my black/red bedding, but no matter. i didn't scream or nothin (everyone else was sleeping)

so i'm typing this now trying to calm down and tell myself there are no more yucky geckos waiting in my bed. It took a combination of both a borders bag and a black mesh trash can (both luckily in my room)in order to get rid of the guy out the front door nicely.

i swear to god i thought i just saw something move on my bed.


i dont think im getting any sleep tonight...LAMEage^Max