Dogblog

What’s going on with the top/back of the dog here, people?...

Tue, 06 Oct 2015 17:32:47 -0400

What’s going on with the top/back of the dog here, people? Am I looking at a loading error, or did the rendering engine somehow fail? Maybe if we look away while backing up and then re-approach, the rest of the textures will pop in? I’m not the only one seeing this, right? Who was responsible for the black dog model? Craig? Was that you?

(dog 728)

Leaving aside all other criteria for a moment including...

Wed, 19 Aug 2015 14:15:11 -0400

Leaving aside all other criteria for a moment including policies, qualifications, and public stances on various issues of social betterment, what we really need is a candidate who would look good on a coin several decades after their Presidential term is done.

(dog 727)

Your Excellency, despite our best efforts, the culprit has still...

Thu, 06 Aug 2015 13:38:33 -0400

Your Excellency, despite our best efforts, the culprit has still not … yes, Your Excellency. Yes, I understand. But the peasants, Your Excellency, they … yes, Your Excellency. At once.

Sorry to have disturbed you.

(dog 726)

Buddy, I hate to break this to you, but they found the hidden...

Wed, 29 Jul 2015 14:41:46 -0400

Buddy, I hate to break this to you, but they found the hidden way into the Chamber of Secrets a while ago. You … you can stop lookin’.

(dog 725)

Why don’t we give dogs sunglasses? We keep walkin’...

Tue, 23 Jun 2015 19:14:11 -0400

Why don’t we give dogs sunglasses? We keep walkin’ around with our eyeballs armored against the sun like we think it’s gonna burn them right out their sockets if we ain’t careful, but dogs don’t get nothin’. All I’m sayin’ is there’s dogs that’d look good in a pair of aviators, is all. I’m just talkin’ here.

(dog 724)

Did you guys hear about the next Star Wars spinoff movie, The...

Wed, 20 May 2015 14:15:10 -0400

Did you guys hear about the next Star Wars spinoff movie, The Last Bantha? I guess it’s started filming already.

(dog 723)

Quit asking everybody for their “hot take” on why Joss Whedon...

Wed, 06 May 2015 12:31:23 -0400

Quit asking everybody for their “hot take” on why Joss Whedon left Twitter. Some of us don’t know what Twitter is. You’re not even a journalist.

(dog 722)

(REUTERS) - Scientists at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory...

Thu, 23 Apr 2015 16:03:27 -0400

(REUTERS) - Scientists at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory reported today the escape of Prototype M32 from Project Pinecone, a top-secret initiative rumored to be an attempt to create “the ultimate dog.” Prototype M32 is still at large, and all citizens of the San Francisco Bay Area have been asked to remain on high alert for the foreseeable future; all sightings should be reported to the Project Pinecone administrators through the usual channels.

(dog 721)

Who needs a hand moving? You? What about you? These dudes just...

Wed, 08 Apr 2015 17:12:36 -0400

Who needs a hand moving? You? What about you? These dudes just gotta go drop some TVs off at Merle’s and then they’re gonna swing back around. Make sure to have all your stuff ready, nobody wants to sit here and watch your dumb ass pack.

(dog 720)

[somewhere, off in the distance, a banjo starts to play]You want...

Wed, 25 Mar 2015 16:07:52 -0400

[somewhere, off in the distance, a banjo starts to play]

You want them bagels, son, you gon’ have to pass by the Hound of Judgment first. Hound, he gon’ tell you whether you deserve them bagels.

[spit]

More likely'n not, you gon’ get a pass. Hound of Judgment’s takin’ ‘er easy today. Hound figures it’s time to relax a little. Go get you a bagel already. What you standin’ there for.

(dog 719)

A typical example of the Z-59 Chair Dog series (brown)...

Wed, 18 Mar 2015 17:26:30 -0400

A typical example of the Z-59 Chair Dog series (brown) manufactured by Chrysler from 1998-2012 before losing the license to an aggressive brand expansion by LG. The Z-59 series was optimized for travel and storage beneath most standard-height indoor/outdoor chairs, but the energy:mass ratio that resulted from its small size produced a vibration fault in its power plant that would never be fully eliminated; most Z-59 owners resorted to after-market solutions (seen here) to correct or minimize fluctuations.

(dog 718)

Stare at this image for sixty seconds and then close your eyes...

Wed, 11 Mar 2015 16:22:50 -0400

Stare at this image for sixty seconds and then close your eyes to get a fair approximation of what a dog ghost probably looks like.

(dog 717)

California Civil Code 64799.78.1 has been amended to require the...

Thu, 05 Mar 2015 16:39:57 -0500

California Civil Code 64799.78.1 has been amended to require the presence of a Guardian Animal at all newly-planted trees with a trunk diameter of less than 1.24" or with less than 1.08sqm of total foliage surface area (approximate). Said Guardian Animal is to be evaluated 1-6 weeks ahead of time by a Guardian Animal Vigilance and Agility Review Board comprised of no less than 5-9 adults of age equal to or greater than 25.8; the Guardian Animal’s fitness for duty must then be assessed along the standard 9-pt scale and passed by a 3/5 supermajority.

(dog 716)

So who’s the funny one in this friendship? Just kidding,...

Thu, 19 Feb 2015 13:37:26 -0500

So who’s the funny one in this friendship? Just kidding, we can all tell right away.

(dog 715)

Well, you know what they say. You tie a pink ribbon ‘round...

Tue, 27 Jan 2015 14:16:52 -0500

Well, you know what they say. You tie a pink ribbon ‘round a steel pole, that’s how you catch yourself a spare shadow. You keep it with you 'til the end of your days, when Death comes a-lookin’ for you by the shadow you cast on the earth. Might be Death gets himself confused and takes the wrong one. Then again he might not. Since when’s Death just takin’ shadows these days, anyway? Who’d you hear this from? Maybe check your sources next time.

(dog 714)

“Seat’s taken, man. Don’t even –...

Thu, 15 Jan 2015 17:43:25 -0500

“Seat’s taken, man. Don’t even – that’s right. Plenty of other chairs around here. Thanks. Thanks.”

(dog 713)

Listen, it’s not that I don’t want to come to your...

Tue, 06 Jan 2015 17:49:04 -0500

Listen, it’s not that I don’t want to come to your magic school and learn potions and sorcery and all that – I mean, who wouldn’t? – it’s just that every time I ask what the tuition costs are, you don’t say anything. You just … make that face. That one, the one you’re making now. What’m I supposed to do with that?

(dog 712)

How come it’s dogs always gotta guard the gates to the...

Thu, 11 Dec 2014 13:58:51 -0500

How come it’s dogs always gotta guard the gates to the land of the dead and whatnot? Don’t nobody realize them dogs need a break too, sometime?

(dog 711)

All right, look. If we ever decide to genetically modify dogs to...

Thu, 04 Dec 2014 13:57:30 -0500

All right, look. If we ever decide to genetically modify dogs to become as intelligent as humans so we can have dinner parties where everyone sits around a table to share a meal and scintillating conversation, we’re gonna have to do something about the way they drink. Nobody likes a mess on the table, people. Straws? How about inventing straws for dogs? Can we get on that? Okay, great. Thank you.

(dog 710)

Click here to support Ruby's Skin Cancer Is Expen$ive by Stacey Andeen

Mon, 24 Nov 2014 13:40:30 -0500

Click here to support Ruby's Skin Cancer Is Expen$ive by Stacey Andeen:

staceyjoy:

Guys. This is Ruby. She’s eight years old and I got her when she was about two and a half. We estimate that she’s mostly shepherd and australian cattle dog with some corgi thrown in. She’s from southern Illinois, where she was originally owned by this family who did not give one flying fuck abo…

Any help is appreciated. And if you can’t help, that’s totally cool, but maybe share with someone who can, and boost the crap out of this.

Please and thank you, from the both of us.

BREAKING CONTENT FORMAT FOR SIGNAL BOOST

Fun fact: if all of you donated $10, that would be way too much. Just donate $5 instead, the price of a single cheap beer. If you like dogs as much as I do, consider this. Thank you.