Tag: forgiveness

Forgiveness

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Life Lessons 101 – #Forgiveness – What is Forgiveness and How to Give It by D. G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Published on by dgkaye43 Comments

Welcome back to my latest article for Sally Cronin’s Smorgasbord Blog Magazine. In this edition I’m talking about the importance of learning forgiveness.

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Forgiveness – What is Forgiveness and How to Give It

Forgiveness is an act we do to ease our own conscience by releasing negative feelings for a wound someone else has inflicted on us. Forgiveness helps us to have a healthier mind and heart by not dragging the hurt baggage through life. And we don’t even have to say it to the person who wronged us. It’s for our own peace of mind to help let go.

Life Lessons 101

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Forgiveness is a word that is often misunderstood. I too was confused about the scope of the act of forgiveness. I’m sure when we were all younger, forgiving meant calling a truce and becoming friends again with someone when we may have been in school. But there is much more breadth to the act of forgiving. And forgiving someone for a transgression or hurt is to make it easier on ourselves, helping us to not have to carry the grudge of the hurt. And it most certainly doesn’t mean we have to kiss and makeup to forgive.

We relieve the burden upon ourselves by forgiving. This doesn’t mean we forget the hurt, it’s just a getting back of our peace of mind when we release the hurt and let go of harboring our wounds that will only fester within with time.

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Carrying hurt and grudges doesn’t serve anyone, especially for ourselves. It can certainly begin to affect our health if we dwell on what was. These thoughts can keep us stewing anytime we think of the issue, potentially raising blood pressure, raising stress hormones, unhappiness from too much negative thinking, anxiety or depression, and most of all, letting it affect our joy. Making a conscious decision to forgive can help to relieve ourselves of resentments and harboring negative thoughts every time we allow ourselves to go back in our heads to the incident.

We cannot take back our words after they’ve been spoken. Once hurtful words are said they are engraved in our minds. Saying sorry to someone or receiving an apology or making the choice to forgive doesn’t mask the initial wound but it lessens the load in our hearts and souls from carrying the hurt around, by no longer thinking or focusing on it, because otherwise we are keeping negative emotions within us. We can only fool ourselves for so long.

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So, How Does the Process Work?

Unresolved resolution can linger and make us feel uncomfortable, leaving us with that albatross feeling of being emotionally anchored, no matter how much time may have passed. We may think we’ve forgotten the matter because life and time have moved on, but the wound or unsettled feeling it left behind hasn’t really gone. . . please continue reading at Sally’s Smorgasbord.

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Source: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Life Lessons 101 – #Forgiveness – What is Forgiveness and How to Give It by D. G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

©DGKaye2024

D.G. Kaye's books reviewed

#BookReview: P S I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy by D G Kaye @pokercubster | Welcome to Harmony Kent Online

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I came across a new review for my book, P.S. I Forgive You, from the talented author Harmony Kent, found on her blog. I need not tell any other author here how uplifting it is to come by a lovely surprise when someone takes the time to read our work, write a review and share it on their own blog. A truly wonderful community we all are and once again, I’m stoked that my book touched another person.

 

#BookReview: P S I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy by D G Kaye @pokercubster

 HARMONY KENT  POSTED ON    POSTED IN REVIEW   32 COMMENTS  TAGGED WITH , 

Hi everyone. Good news: my long awaited chest x-Ray shows my lungs are clear! Yay! 😁🎉. The issues seem to be down to an overactive immune system, which the new tablets are helping with, plus all the inhalers, lols. I appreciate all of your well wishes and support over these many months.

I owe an apology for not being around online much this last week or so. My first COVID vaccine has hit me hard and left me tired and with headaches. I’m well on the mend, though, and glad I’ve had the first dose.

Today, I have a book review for an author I’ve known and admired for a long time, Debby Kaye. Her honesty and bravery shine through in this book of non-fiction, and I feel it’s one everybody should read >>>

About the Book:

32492158. sy475 Confronted with resurfacing feelings of guilt, D.G. Kaye is tormented by her decision to remain estranged from her dying emotionally abusive mother after resolving to banish her years ago, an event she has shared in her book Conflicted Hearts.

In P.S. I Forgive You, Kaye takes us on a compelling heartfelt journey as she seeks to understand the roots of her mother’s narcissism, let go of past hurts, and find forgiveness for both her mother and herself.

After struggling for decades to break free, Kaye has severed the unhealthy ties that bound her to her dominating mother—but now Kaye battles new confliction, as the guilt she harbors over her decision only increases as the end of her mother’s life draws near.

Kaye once again struggles with her conscience and her feelings of being obligated to return to a painful past she thought she left behind.

 

My Review:

5 star rating

As soon as I saw what this book was about, I had to read it, and I am so pleased I did.

Because of the difficult subject matter, and my own history, I had to take a deep breath before I plunged in. Not only has this writer’s honesty and bravery helped me to understand my parents a little better, it has also shown me precisely what my sister has become. I’d missed that, and this explains so very much.

It is a sad fact of life that, all too often, the victim becomes the perpertrator, unless we have the insight and strength to do something about it. I have long joked that I’m the reverse ‘black sheep’ of my family, and it seems to me that Debby is too. For all our successes, and the miracle of growing into well-adjusted adults in spite of it all, we will never be accepted by a parent who demands that we live their lies, manipulations, and abuses. The same with any sibling who demands the same.

Some lines that resonated with me in particular:

‘A narcissistic mother doesn’t have to be in one’s presence. She can still demand and demean no matter how far away.’

and

‘It is my decision to banish my mother from my life and a resolution to find peace within myself with my decision.’

and

‘[…] if we’re lucky enough to realize the bad, we have the opportunity to steer ourselves in a better direction.’

For a while now, I have struggled to think of what I will do when one or the other of my parents dies. I’m not even sure they would let me know, at this stage. And reading this honest and brave account from D G Kaye has helped me immensely. It has also helped to explain the till-now inexplicable behaviour of my twin sister. She has grown up with emotional neglect, as did I, and has now become a narcissist. This book has helped me to identify why she lives and behaves the way she does.

From my own life, I know how hard it is to go against the grain to become your own person despite your upbringing. It takes work, day by day, to resist some of those unhealthy habits instilled in us as children and to trust our judgements and motives. It takes courage to not give in to the insidious lack of self-esteem with which such adults are often left. The author has overcome much, and I admire her deeply both for her acheivements and for putting her journey into words so that others of us can also be helped.

PS I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy gets a solid and resounding 5 stars from me. A difficult read, but a book everybody should read.

 

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NOTE ON RATINGS: I consider a 3-star rating a positive review. Picky about which books I give 5 stars to, I reserve this highest rating for the stories I find stunning and which moved me.

5 STARS: IT WAS AMAZING! I COULD NOT PUT IT DOWN! — Highly Recommended.
4 STARS: I WOULD PULL AN ALL-NIGHTER — Go read this book.
3 STARS: IT WAS GOOD! — An okay read. Didn’t love it. Didn’t hate it.
2 STARS: I MAY HAVE LIKED A FEW THINGS —Lacking in some areas: writing, characterisation, and/or problematic plot lines.
1 STAR: NOT MY CUP OF TEA —Lots of issues with this book.

I’d love to hear what you think of this review. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

 

Original Source: #BookReview: P S I Love You: A Broken Legacy by D G Kaye @pokercubster | Welcome to Harmony Kent Online

©DGKaye2021

 

Book reviews by D.G. Kaye

Sunday Book Review – New Reviews for D.G. Kaye Books – #Memoir – #Nonfiction

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Welcome to my Sunday Book Review(s). Every Sunday I share a review of a book I’ve recently read, but due to the full moon and Mercury Retrograde soon approaching, as usual, it’s interrupting my life. With that said, and in all fairness, I am also currently reading 3 books simultaneously, which I’m blaming for the cause of not finishing a book this week. In lieu of my missing review I’m sharing a few reviews I found for my own books that I’d like to share here today. I hope you enjoy.

reading books

 

 

Twenty Years: After “I Do”

Twenty Years by D.G. Kaye

 

My rating:
 5 of 5 stars ]
Twenty Years: After “I Do”
by

D.G. Kaye

7365405

James‘s review Feb 02, 2020

It was amazing.

Twenty Years: After “I Do” is an autobiographical non-fiction book about the author’s experience with marriage and relationships. I’ve previously read another of her autobiographies about her relationship with her mother, and it was such an emotionally charged and well-written book, I decided to keep reading more from her every few months until I caught up on all her works.

In this one, Debby tells us what happened almost twenty years ago when she debated whether to marry the man who is now her husband. Given he was twenty years older, she had a lot of decisions to consider when it came to how her life would change. At the core of this book, and her approach to life, is her commitment and honesty in all that she achieves. Debby knew… if she married him, she would have to accept all that came with it in the future. From there, she dives into key aspects of married life: emotions, sex life, personal time, separation of couple and individual, fighting, decision-making, and death. Lessons we all need to consider.

Debby’s writing style is simply fantastic. It’s easy to devour in a short sitting, but it always makes you feel like part of her life. She openly shares so much (the good, the bad, and the ugly) while holding back in all the appropriate areas to allow for proper balance, e.g. we learn about the impacts to her sex life when one partner is ill but she doesn’t go into the details. She tells us how she and her husband tackled the issues from a day-to-day perspective and moved on… because they loved one another (to the moon and back).

There is a refreshing honesty and truth in her words, and readers will quickly find themselves a path to compare their own lives to that of the author’s. What have I done well? What could I do better? What needs to change? Excellent questions to consider, but Debby doesn’t directly tell us to do this–her actions show us why this is at the core of a good marriage. I’m thrilled I had the chance to read this one today. Although I’ve only been with my partner for 8 years, it’s easy to track where things are and what we could do differently.

Debby bravely tells us her story, allowing us to interpret for ourselves what everything means, especially in this ever-changing world where people live longer and have access to more things but it’s harder to get them. I highly recommend this book to nearly anyone in a relationship, or those who want to know how to handle one when they are. Debby shares a few secrets, some hints, and a few suggestions to consider. It’s not just for newbies or long-term couples… there’s a bit of everything for how to co-exist and still be who you are. Great work!

 

Conflicted Hearts

Conflicted Hearts, D.G. Kaye

 

Customer Review

Miriam Hurdle
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Insight from a Painful ExperienceReviewed in the United States on March 5, 2020
Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

In her book Conflicted Hearts, Kaye recounted her vivid memories of painful experience growing up with a narcissist mother whose interest was partying, smoking, gambling and getting male’s attention to herself. Her mother threw out her father frequently and had male companions in the house with the children’s presence. Kaye’s father returned home long enough to make babies but had no guarantee to stay. She felt sad for her father. She couldn’t concentrate at school. Instead, she expected the disappearance of her father or anger from her mother. She did not receive the nurturing needed for a happy childhood. Instead of being a child, she felt responsible and be the parent to her father. Later, she found out that the paternal grandparents didn’t like her because her mother was pregnant with her and caused her parents’ marriage. She felt it was her fault, and that she was the reason for her father to marry her mother. She considered herself as the black sheep, the accident. If her father married someone else, he would have been happier. Her mother was never home and had babysitter watching the four children until Kaye was twelve and became a babysitter.

Aunty Sherry was the only adult to show her guidance, concern and attention. Sherry got married in her forties and didn’t have children.

Kaye moved to an apartment at age eighteen. She went to university part-time studying classical music and singing, but never made it. She then supported herself by working in the Casinos dealing cards. During those years, Kaye had relationships with married men. Eventually she married a loving, thoughtful husband. Eventually she got married to a love and caring husband.

As a mother and a grandmother, I couldn’t imagine such a person as Kaye’s self-centered mother. I felt horrified when Kaye’s baby brother wandered off a mile away while the mother was asleep late in the morning recovering from the late-night party. Children are the ones who suffer the most in a dysfunctional home. Kaye’s parents had problems with their marriage, yet four babies were brought into the world. I feel that Kaye’s mother had sex for pleasure and didn’t understand the consequence. Kaye should never feel responsible for causing the parents to get married. Regardless, Kaye became a sensitive person and led a happy life.

 

Conflicted Hearts, D.G. Kaye

 

Pete Springer
5.0 out of 5 stars A Compelling Read!

Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2020

Format: Kindle Edition

P.S. I Forgive You

P.S. I Forgive You

 

Customer Review

E Tyler
5.0 out of 5 stars A rare glimpse into rawness and vulnerability…

Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2020

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase
I see that other reviewers have talked about this book as a “story.” And that is true—there is certainly a story, a true one, woven through these pages. But this is not a novel, nor did I read it simply as a memoir. I think what I appreciated the most, in fact, is that the author is not trying to be literary. She is not trying to move in a chronological flow with a traditional arc. She isn’t even trying to teach or encourage people to do this or that based on what she herself has experienced. Like a personal journal, this book is not prettied-up for the sake of onlookers. Reflections wind their way between now, not long ago, childhood, then back to the present. Some thoughts resurface throughout the book, as the author struggles again with something she thought she’d already packed safely away. It’s a rare glimpse into rawness and vulnerability, with no other goal but honesty. So on one hand, yes, it is a story—one that will invoke empathy in any reader, just as a novel might, though its characters may be disparate from the reader. Yet for those who have, in fact, lived a similar experience, I believe this book will, without ever suggesting solutions, allow many to begin or continue their own process of acknowledgment, grieving—and ultimately letting go.
One person found this helpful.

It is my belief that every woman on the planet should read this non-fiction inspirational story that reveals the negative self-esteem experiences that many if not all women encounter during various incidents throughout their lives, and the consequences of those experiences often begin in early childhood.

D.G. Kaye writes with empathy, compassion, and a plethora of knowledge using her own experiences to help other women understand the importance of realizing their sense of self that is intimately associated with our self-worth. Self-worth is not a vanity and it not excessive pride. It is how we access our own sense of being, of who we are.

The author, D.G. Kaye, writes with a warmhearted conversational style that beautifully eliminates dogma and in effect the judging of us, by us, and others for what we may perceive as a failure to have fallen victim to ridicule, to embarrassment, and instead we begin to believe in our personalities and our value in the world.

Our society often appears to judge women by our appearance: a cultural sense of what beauty is, a person’s station in life, and least but not last – money. If as a child we experienced being bullied, laughed at, ignored, and ridiculed, our self-worth without a positive, loving alternative from your parents, grandparents, and siblings—is damaged and our chances of feeling unlovable, inadequate, and homely take root in our psyche. A psyche that is damaged presents difficulties in our self-expression, our personalities, and our ability to thrive in the world without a sense of inadequacy. This sense of inadequacy leaves us open to being further damaged by others.

D.G. Kaye, the author, encourages us, helps us to understand, and presents a rationale that can and does present a newer, healthier view of ourselves as well as to develop healthier relationships. Once we rid ourselves of negativity, jealousy, envy, and that awful feeling of inadequacy; our inner personalities, our joy of life, and a sense of inner happiness will begin to shine.

D.G. Kaye’s inspirational non-fiction for women is the best of its kind that I have ever read, and a must read for all women. I give this book a 5-star rating.

 

Books by D.G. Kaye

 

 

 

Thanks for reading, feel free to visit my Amazon Author Page to view all my books.

 

©DGKaye2020

 

 

Book reviews by D.G. Kaye

Sunday Book Reviews – New Reviews Are In!

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Book reviews by D.G. Kaye

Thrilled to catch two new reviews for my books this week – First one in for my newest book Twenty Years: After “I Do” and one new one for P.S. I Forgive You.

Read and reviewed by John Maberry and I was elated to find John posted it on his blog.

 

P.S. I Forgive You

 

Get This Book on Amazon!

 

5.0 out of 5 starsForgive another and yourself too!

ByJohn Maberryon November 30, 2017

Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

I just posted a review of P.S. I Forgive You on Amazon and Goodreads. It’s worth your while to read! Get it on Amazon. I’ve read two very different books by D.G. Kaye already—Have Bags, Will…Continue Reading

Source: P.S. I Forgive You by D.G. Kaye–a great read | Views from Eagle Peak

 

Twenty Years: After "I Do"

Get this book on Amazon, now available in Paperback!

 

I’m pleased to announce my book Twenty Years: After “I Do” is now available in paperback! Just in time for Christmas! And my book has received it’s first review I’m thrilled to share here by Carol Balawyder:

 

Twenty Years: After “I Do”

Posted on  by 

I am always enthusiastic about reading a book by D.G. Kaye. I have read all of her books so far and have enjoyed them all. Her May/December memoir Twenty Years: After “I Do” doesn’t disappoint. In fact, it’s probably her best, which is normal I guess. We do tend to get better with practice.

Although Twenty Years: After “I Do” focuses on growing old with a partner who is much older than herself, D.G. Kaye’s message is ageless as she tackles the issues of health, finance, mortality and children with clarity, authenticity and her usual grace.

D.G. Kaye is known for her ability to tell it like it is. There’s no sugar coating here although there is a lot of tenderness, affection, kind heartedness and insight drawn from her life experiences – sharing her life experiences to offer a helping hand is D.G. Kaye’s trademark. Much of her blog is about that and this munificence is evident throughout this book.

The book is an easy and enjoyable read. But make no mistake; it is by no means frivolous or meaningless. The book is filled with insights regarding the author’s reflections on keeping the flames of a relationship alive.

Sure, it’s not always easy, as she points out. Her and her husband do have disagreements, as all couples do, but their commitment to each other in sickness and in health, till death do us part and even after is a model for anyone to follow.

One last thing, Gordon (Puppy) her husband is a lucky guy to have such a loving wife.

Source:  CarolBalawyder.com

D.G. Kaye quote

Guest Post – Tina Frisco on #Forgiveness

Published on by 115 Comments

D.G. Kaye quote

 

 

 

As many of you know, I enjoy sharing posts here by Tina Frisco. And I was elated at Tina’s agreement to write a guest post to feature here today while I’m knee-deep in re-writes on my newest book.

Tina has an inner wisdom, which opens our eyes to simple things we often take for granted, or sometimes hold a place within us that we sometimes struggle with but may not be able to come to terms with. In this post, Tina shares her experience with finding forgiveness and methods she utilizes to delve deep within her soul to find resolution.

 

Author Tina Frisco

 

 

Forgiveness

Flower

Image Courtesy of Terri Webster Schrandt

 

“We tend to think of the rational as a higher order, but it is the emotional that marks our lives. One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment.” –Merle Shain, Canadian journalist and author, 1935-1989

 

Forgiveness is the highest form of virtue. It requires a strong and open heart. It challenges faith, trust, and understanding. It demands a willingness to let go of judgment. It moves us into compassion and elevates our consciousness. It fashions a deeper awareness of ourselves and others. Its gift is a more peaceful and fruitful life lived here on Mother Earth.

 

Forgiving someone a deep hurt is one of the most difficult challenges I have had to face.

 

As a small child, I was abused and often overlooked in favor of my younger sister. I was an afterthought. Because children have embryonic coping mechanisms, this neglectful behavior by the adults in my life carved a deep hole in my psyche. Desperate to be recognized, I became an overachiever and a slave to codependence. The imperatives of service and recognition fueled my desperation to a point where it imploded. I fragmented, and many took advantage. I was a walking, breathing wound.

 

In my teenage years, salt was added to that wound by those who mistook my need to help for egoism. Fortunately, I have a strong will and was able to rebut such claims. Unfortunately, this got me nowhere. I was labeled stubborn, angry, selfish, and a know-it-all. I would be the first to volunteer and the last to be selected. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get people to see me.

 

These labels followed me into early adulthood. Every time my eagerness to serve was mistaken for arrogance or selfishness, I either lashed out or fell into despair. My life had become one of emotional extremes – a roller coaster ride of peaks and valleys, racing fast to stand still.

 

All of this began to change when, at age thirty-three, I apprenticed to a medicine woman. She was as brutal in pointing out my weaknesses as she was compassionate in acknowledging my strengths. She forced me to dive deep and breathe while in the grasp of fear. Upon surfacing, I saw that all emotion is self-imposed. I alone am responsible for the choices I make. As my awareness grew, I began to own who I am – a wounded warrior made stronger for having faced that which terrorized me.

 

A few years into my apprenticeship, an issue I thought I had resolved attacked with a sudden and nauseating potency. Once again, and painfully, I felt overlooked. The hurt cut so deep, I nearly lost my life. I thought I was regressing, but I thought wrong. Issues become lighter as they are resolving. The pieces we have dealt with rise toward the surface. The nearer the surface, the more clearly we see them and the more powerful the impact. As these pieces are released, we might feel we are exploding, much like an erupting boil or volcano.

 

Naively, or perhaps wishfully, I thought I had finally battled this demon for the last time. Again, I thought wrong. Releasing negative emotion is like peeling away the layers of an onion – we clear different aspects at different times, until we reach the core and identify the source within. Since I have not yet reached the central part of this devastating emotion, it made a return visit, and very recently.

 

A friend I had become close with unknowingly overlooked me. This time, I was not even an afterthought. The pain struck sudden and hard. I reeled for several days, wondering why this issue still haunted me. When I let go of asking why and instead asked what it was I needed to learn, I received an answer: forgiveness.

 

I closed my eyes and moved into the hurt. I gasped and caught my breath as the pain ignited and burned my heart. For the first time in my life, I willingly held and comforted that little child so brutally abused and ignored all those years ago. Once her needs were met, a voice spoke to me:

 

This is an old hurt. You may hold it or let it go. It is an ancient hurt with roots buried in the beginning of time. You may carry it until the new light dawns, or you may release it into the custody of Mother Earth. The choice is yours, and the result will be the same. We have crossed the threshold into awakening.

 

I had become attached to a pain that my inner child mistook for love. It was time to hold myself in my own arms. It was time to let go. As I did, I discovered that letting go is a process – two steps forward, one step back – the human condition. At times, my mind wants to refute that the pain I continue to feel is of my own making. Yet my heart recognizes this as truth.

 

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.” –Nicholas Sparks, At First Sight

 

My friend does not know her action triggered this old hurt in me, for it was I who pulled the trigger. So often we want to blame others for our feelings, forgetting we have a choice. If we did not have a choice, we would not have free will. Yet we pride ourselves on free will being a hallmark of the human species.

 

Owning our feelings does not mean granting license to ourselves or others for the commission of heinous deeds. Emotions are raw and private. They harm or uplift only the being in which they reside. If we act on our emotions in a way that inflicts harm on others, we must be held accountable. We must take responsibility for our actions as well as our thoughts and emotions.

 

I have forgiven my friend her shortcoming. She has given me the gift of opportunity. The hurt is still acute, but I will not close my heart to her. Although the pain I feel is not of her, it stands in relation to her, so I need to step back a little in order to witness myself more clearly. I am not pulling away. Or am I? Perhaps a little. We cannot see our reflections in the mirror with our noses pressed against it. We cannot survive a fire if we stand too close to the flame.

 

It is interesting how one person or event taking center stage can actuate a lesson of a lifetime. I observe myself each day as my mind battles my heart, attempting to reconcile the vestiges of a deep pain conceived so long ago. In remaining witness rather than doer or receiver, I am slowly healing the hurt that has controlled my life.

 

It is both fascinating and excruciating to keep one’s heart open to someone the mind perceives as having inflicted pain. This has enabled me to own my feelings. It has moved me to feel compassion for my friend. It has rewarded me with the ability to forgive us both.

 

I have learned that divine love is born of wisdom, and forgiveness is born of love. I have learned that if we humans are capable of forgiveness, we are capable of germinating the seed of divine love within us. And most of all, I have learned that the more my mind does not want to forgive, the more my heart must …

 

Namaste, my friends

© Tina Frisco 2017

 

Visit Tina’s books on Amazon

 

Gabby and the Quads by Tina Frisco

Plateau by Tina Frisco

Vampyrie by Tina Frisco

 

 

Connect with Tina on social networks:     Facebook       Twitter     LinkedIn     Google+     Goodreads     

 

From Tina:

 

I invite you to share your thoughts and feelings on my blog posts. My hope is that we affirmatively broaden our perspective on what lies ahead for our species and our planet. I look forward to meeting, sharing, and dialoguing with kindred spirits at TinaFrisco.com

 

D.G. Kaye's books reviewed

#BookReview – P.S. I Forgive You – A Broken Legacy by D.G. Kaye #Memoir #Narcissism | deborahjay

Published on by 33 Comments

D.G. Kaye's books

I was pleasantly surprised to find that friend and author Deborah Jay had read my latest book, P.S. I Forgive You. But I was more touched by the heartfelt review she wrote for the book.

 

Deb’s review taught me that my story not only resonates with readers who have and are living similar situations with struggling to understand and forgive their loved ones, but also reminds more fortunate readers who haven’t been subjected to emotional abuse by a parent about how blessed they are to not have had to endure such relationships. Read Deb’s review below:

 

#BOOKREVIEW – P.S. I FORGIVE YOU – A BROKEN LEGACY BY D.G. KAYE #MEMOIR #NARCISSISM

July 17, 2017 · by  · in Book reviews, non-fiction · 11 Comments

On the eve of my father’s funeral, I find myself writing my review of this memoir with a real sense of gratitude that I was lucky enough to have loving parents, and little dysfunctionality in my family. My father was raised in a rather Victorian household, (he was born in 1915), where children were seen but not heard, which made him always a quiet man, but no less loving for it, though he rarely expressed emotion.

Tomorrow I shall say goodbye to him in the knowledge that he lived a long and satisfied life, leaving no regrets at the end on any of our parts, unlike my poor friend Debby Gies (author D.G. Kaye), who suffered a traumatic childhood.

Thanks, Debby. Whilst I sorrow for your travails, you’ve gifted me with a great contrast to recognise at this sad time how fortunate I have been.

P.S. I Forgive You on Amazon

P.S. I Forgive You: A Broken LegacyP.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy by D.G. Kaye
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I found Kaye’s first book about her narcissistic mother a true eye-opener, an education about a condition I’d heard of, but never understood in all its desperately sad reality. I have since realised that I know someone with this condition, and it helps me to understand her often bizarre decisions and behaviour, rather than just being confused by them.

This sequel book, which also stands alone as an education of a different kind, is a raw and open story of how to deal with the guilt that comes from finally saying “I have had enough!” and sticking with that decision to the bitter end.

As a work of self-help, which is many respects it is, this book is a good guide to dealing with those relationships that just cannot be fixed, Continue Reading . . .

 

 

 

 

 

Source: #BookReview – P.S. I Forgive You – A Broken Legacy by D.G. Kaye #Memoir #Narcissism | deborahjay

Reblog and featuring

When I Am Not Enough… Guest Post by Tina Frisco… Inspiration

Published on by 41 Comments

Reblog and featuring

Time for a little inspirational guidance from our compassionate and wise friend Tina Frisco.

 

Tina’s words are empowering. In this wonderful article she wrote as a feature on Chris Graham’s blog (The Story Reading Ape), Tina talks about self-love, gratitude and forgiveness.

 

When I am not Enough by Tina Frisco

 

Throughout our lives, we hear ourselves say:  ‘I’m not that good!’  ‘I’ll never make it.’  ‘I wish I could write that well.’  ‘If only I had said. . .’

Words are powerful. Energy follows thought. The words we speak to ourselves drive our subconscious minds. Diminishing thoughts tell the subconscious we are not enough.

The subconscious mind is self-serving. Its mission is to fulfill our every desire, and it sets in motion the means by which to do so. It takes our words at face value and strives to manifest what they represent. It assumes that what we think and say is what we hope and dream.

How often have we heard ourselves utter, ‘Did I say that’? Unless we’re channeling spirit, the mouth speaks what the subconscious mind thinks. If thought rests in the conscious mind, we are aware of it and can choose whether or not to give it a voice. If thought rests in the subconscious mind, we might find ourselves surprised by our own words.

Negative off-hand remarks might seem benign, yet they are potent energy viruses that infect the subconscious mind through repetition; repetition which, over time, becomes emphatic. The virulence of this self-denial is potentiated by the subterranean stream of thought that mirrors the spoken word and continues feeding the subconscious. The subconscious then compels us to speak what it believes to be our truth.

This might seem like a vicious cycle that can’t be broken; yet anything is possible, because nothing is set in stone. Even dense matter can be converted to energy.

The way out is the way in.

 

If we wish to realize our full potential, we need to become witness to ourselves. We must remain alert to and aware of all we manifest in word and deed. And we must do this without judgment.

Labels proclaim. Proclamation reinforces. Reinforcement cements. Cement imprisons.

Your mind is a powerful thing.

When you filter it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change.

Buddha

Continue Reading . . .

 

Source: When I Am Not Enough… Guest Post by Tina Frisco… | TINA FRISCO

Forgiveness

Mindful Monday – P. S. I Forgive You, by D. G. Kaye – A Mindful Journey

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Forgiveness

Mindful Monday with Colleen Chesebro

 

The talented Colleen is the author of The Heart Stone Chronicles – The Swamp Fairy and runs 2 blogs, one where she offers up writing tips and challenges and one on her experiences and growth in life in her journey to mindfulness and health. Today I was thrilled to find that Colleen has chosen my book, P.S I Forgive You, to review and share the messages she took from my book.

 

 

Welcome to Mindful Monday. Each week I look at new or sometimes old things about myself on my journey to becoming more conscious about my life journey. I have found that being mindful encompasses the act of being watchful, aware, wary, heedful, alert, careful, or attentive, in whatever area in my life I feel it applies to, as I try to engage in the present.

Come and join me on my journey. You never know what you will learn about yourself.

I have something different for you this week. It’s a book review of a novel that touched me deeply. The subject matter had to do with a journey and a liberation of pent up emotions that enabled the author to find peace. If that is not a mindful journey, I don’t know what is.

Mindfulness is about change, understanding, and acceptance of who we are and who we want to become. We all have a journey, and who we are as children changes through the years into adulthood. Perhaps it has to do with maturity, but we all get to a certain age where reflection leads to deeper understanding and forgiveness of the things we simply cannot change.

Please let me introduce: P.S. I Forgive You

MY RECOMMENDATION:

How many of us come from dysfunctional families? I know I certainly came from one. However, when you are the child of a narcissistic mother, those wounds fester and bleed well into adulthood becoming baggage that hangs around your heart. Almost certainly, these feelings are accompanied by guilt and a desire to understand why a mother could treat her own flesh and blood in such a demeaning way. Especially, when you would never think of treating your own children with such disdain.

This is the author’s journey to redemption. Continue Reading . . .

 

Source: Mindful Monday – P. S. I Forgive You, by D. G. Kaye – A Mindful Journey