Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – #Life #Aging – As We Age – Use It or Lose It – Part 2 – Brain Health by D. G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Welcome back to my latest post in my – As We Age series. In this article, I’m going to speak about methods for taking care of our brains to help in keeping them sharp and active.

This post is in no way speaking of dementia, Alzheimer’s or any other brain related disease, but focused on plain old aging and how to stay on top of our brain health.

I remember reading something long ago about associating something to someone to help remember people’s names we’ve briefly been introduced to. I admit to being the worst at that sometimes. I know I have a bad habit of forgetting someone’s name I was formerly introduced to because if I’ve sized up the person and had no interest in what they had to say, for me it’s out of sight out of mind. But sometimes it also happens that if I met someone and we chimed, and I meet them again, their name may still be stuck on the tip of my tongue, yet I know the face. If I can’t recall their name, I have no issues telling them politely, “I’m sorry I know we’ve met, but for the life of me, I can’t remember your name.” Plain old honesty works.

How to associate a name with a person you’ve briefly met: You can make up a rhyme for that person or add a name to their name in your head associated with something or someone who relates to their name. If you can remember a person by face only, try making up a rhyme in your head with something they do or enjoy. – Mike the bike (if you met biking), Carrie the shoes girl.

Another good idea to help remember where we put something down, is to make a mental and conscious note the moment we set something down. This is why it’s best to have a place for our items we use regularly. For example, every time I go out, my keys are on the credenza in my front hall. After putting on coat and shoes, I grab them and go, never having to look for my keys, because I always set them down first as soon as I come home – in the same place! Conscious effort, familiarity.

It’s also not difficult to misplace our glasses and/or phones. I do this stupidity at least a few times a week where I unconsciously put down my phone wherever I may have ended a phone call. Thank goodness for my landline because I use it to call my cell phone to listen for the ring. As far as glasses go, they can be left anywhere – often I’ll find them somewhere under the covers in my bed after passing out reading. Other times, I have to search a bit – thankfully while wearing another pair of glasses!

Another peeve of mine is my ability to forget what I was saying midway through a conversation. I find this happens when people interrupt what I’m saying – and the rest gets lost. Oh yes, it does come back eventually, but often too late to finish what I was saying. My friends have a habit of interjecting with questions while I’m telling them something. To help alleviate this blank moment of word stuck I preface a conversation or story with – “Okay, let me tell you the details and please don’t interrupt until I’m finished because YOU KNOW I will lose my train of thought.” It works mostly, but human curiosity sometimes can’t wait to interject.

It’s important that we challenge ourselves with doing things that we enjoy to keep the engines running smooth. Keeping sharp in our later years requires a good combination of various activities – Cognitive challenges, activities to keep us mobile, and another important component – social interaction. Mind and body go hand-in-hand when it comes to keeping brains sharp. Under that umbrella also comes proper nutrition and supplementation. If the body isn’t fed well, it affects both, our minds and bodies, causing brain fog and low energy. Keeping busy is the name of the game . . .

Please hop over to Sally’s blog to read the conclusion and my tips for keeping busy.

©DGKaye2026

Source: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – #Life #Aging – As We Age – Use It or Lose It – Part 2 – Brain Heath by D. G. Kaye | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

Smorgasbord Funnies 2025 -Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – #Catnip and Quick Thinking | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

I’m a bit behind on my posts this week as it’s been a busy time working on my book, and truthfully, tried to steal as much sun as my city would give me in between rain, grey and smoke-filled skies, and of course, quite a few days of winter revisited. So today I’m sharing my humor contributions I do with Sally Cronin at her Smorgasbord Blog Magazine.

I’ll post a few here then please hop over to Sally’s for more goodies and some great jokes. Guaranteed to leave you with smiles.

Smorgasbord Funnies 2025 -Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – #Catnip and Quick Thinking

Firstly, some funnies foraged from the web by Debby Gies – D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews. Hope it gets your weekend off to a good start…

Please head over to Sally’s blog for lots more smilescontinue reading…

Source: Smorgasbord Funnies 2025 -Hosts Sally Cronin and Debby Gies – #Catnip and Quick Thinking | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

©DGKaye2025

WordPress Prompt – When Do You Feel Most Productive?

I’m late posting this week. I’ve had quite a busy schedule this past week between dental appointment minor surgery and girl get-togethers, and of course, book-writing. So, I chose to grab a prompt off WordPress.

As writers, we all have our own time allotments for writing. And times differ for each of us. But I know my writing habits have certainly changed over the thirteen years I’ve been writing books.

I used to have a regimented standard schedule for writing when in midst of writing a book. I was disciplined. I ate breakfast, made a second cup of coffee and got to writing work every weekday morning for a few hours a day, sometimes maybe all day. But those times have changed drastically for me.

What’s changed since then? Ever since I lost my husband four years ago, I’ve struggled with discipline and concentration efforts. I’ve become easily distracted from my work. For the first year after losing my husband, I struggled to even get out a blog post, let alone book-writing. Heck, I was balancing on the edge of grief, and with a book already drafted, didn’t pay it any mind. It wasn’t until the second year of my grief I could begin edits and the publishing phase of my last book Fifteen First Times. Writing memoir is writing about real events that have happened, and sometimes those memories are painful to sit with for hours.

But all that time, I was writing because writing protected my sanity. But everything I wrote was about my husband, and consequently, I accumulated enough material for a book I very much want to write, but cannot yet stomach reading through those words. So, that is a book I will contend with in the future, when perhaps each word doesn’t strike my heart as badly as it still does now to reread what came out of me then.

When I finally made steps to get off my grief couch, about a year later, I forced myself to get out and join a women’s gym. It was the best thing that happened to me since losing my husband. I made new friends, who conveniently live close to me, got my health back in check, and my social life had picked up exponentially. Gym 3-4 days a week, taking 6-8 classes a week became what I looked forward to. Along with that came some lazy and social time, after classes, girl time with lunches and/or coffees, birthday celebrations, and social gatherings, became just what I needed to fill the void in my life. I’m a tactile person who craves live social interaction to thrive, and I got it. And it surely makes me feel better than sitting at a computer in my lonely world all day long every day.

I witnessed how quickly life can be snatched from us, and decided to join the land of the living. So yes, my book-writing slowed down, but I was okay with that because I was doing what my soul needed doing. I also began living by my mantra – One day at a time. With all my new anxieties, I learned to stop overwhelming myself with self-imposed deadlines and to just go with flow of me.

I decided to dedicate a few writing days a week for myself and took the pressure off of beating myself up for not being a disciplined daily writer. This change has been effective for me. It’s what works for me now, putting less pressure on myself. I mean seriously, thank goodness I don’t have to rely on my book sales to live, so the only pressure I have is the pressure I put on myself. Instead, I chose to put in some living and ‘me’ time in my life schedule as the priority, and I have no regrets.

I’m also happy to announce that my first draft of my newest book is almost at the finish line and hopefully will be ready for the edits by mid June, titled – About the Real Stages of Grief. The book is geared toward those who have loved and lost and all the stages of grief we all will experience at some time in our lives, which makes it a book that anyone can read. I truly hope it will help others.

What about you people? Have you noticed your writing habits changing over the years, or because of events in life that opened your perspective?

Daily WordPress writing prompt:

Daily writing prompt
When do you feel most productive?

©DGKaye2025

Is Time Really Flying Faster?

Time flies. I find myself saying this more and more. And I’m not the only one! The old saying ‘time flies’ comes from the Latin – ‘tempus fugit’.

Do you feel like time is passing much faster than it is? Is this our imagination or is it really going faster? Well, it seems to me anyone who mentions time also feels it is passing faster than before – but is it?

A common answer I found in my search to find if time is indeed moving faster said our brains can only process so much as we age. I’m not sure I can agree with that unless of course, someone’s brain is medically challenged. An aging brain is the reason for our perception of time? No proof, but food for thought.

When we were kids, looking forward to an upcoming event, it seemed like eons to a child waiting for that time to pass. Why? Why are children always wishing time away, and those of us middle-aged and more, feel like the days pass much too quickly?

Is it because as life passes by and we accumulate so many memories from our experiences and looking back on them make us feel they were so long ago leaving us to realize that each time fracture that has occurred in our lives makes what time we feel we have left feel smaller? Take a look at the video below where a man shares his theory about why time seems to pass faster as we age:

This man’s theory is demonstrated using circles of time for the amount of years we’ve lived on earth describing how it affects our feeling that time is passing faster:

I do know how quickly time flies when using digital devices – especially when on computer. I can be doing a twenty minute project that turns into over an hour because of digital hiccoughs that weren’t planned in that time allotment.

The earth is spinning faster now and actually speeding up, but it is possible to slow down again. BBC Earth uses a climate change example to demonstrate why time shrinks and expands:

Someone else shares that “It’s not time that speeds up but our psychological perception changes due to increased stress, and the demands of modern life . . .” are what make us feel time is going faster:

Honestly, I did some searching around to find if the feeling of time passing faster is indeed true, and most of what I came across were same thoughts or theories from most as I’ve shared on the above videos. Maybe it does make sense since life is getting busier with our to-do lists, maybe we’re just feeling that time is going faster. On another note, scientists seem to relay the time speeding up due to climate change, demonstrating how the melting glaciers have a play in why time passes too fast. Or just maybe the guy from video #1’s perception makes a whole lot of sense – Each successive year leaves us with a smaller percentage of time left.

I think how a clock measures time and how we perceive time are quite different.

What do you think?

P.S. I would just like to note that we are now, once again in mercury retrograde for the month of August. Reminder to double check everything, plan ahead, and expect lots of technical glitches and mishaps. On another note, I have noticed in my many blog reading travels and leaving comments that I haven’t been receiving replies from some of those blogs, which is unusual. A few blog friends have told me they found me in their spam. So I just wanted to let you know that if you’re used to seeing me around your blog, and think you haven’t seen me around in a while, please check your spam. Thanks 💜

©DGKaye2024

Life, Loving, and Laughter and a #Podcast

Humor. It’s the thing that always got me by in life. The love of my life was my husband. I like to say I married him because he made laugh, but even with that truth, it was so much more than that. With my Puppy, I learned the true definition of what unconditional love meant – something I’d never experienced in my life prior to him.

Until I met my husband, no other man could make me laugh like he did. In fact, laughter was my own avenue through life. Being a self-conscious child, teen and young adult, I made it my business to be a funny girl because laughter could mask so many scars and aches.

I felt my flaws as I grew and I learned from a young age that if I could make people laugh with me it may deter them from laughing at me.

As the years passed and I learned how to grow my self-esteem and make myself proud of myself, I no longer worried about being laughed at. And as I came into myself, I learned I was actually quite funny and that I no longer had to use humor to make up for what I felt were my shortcomings and flaws.

I was the funny one in my circles. I think in most of my romantic relationships it was my good sense of humor that attracted people to me. And deep down inside, no matter people’s issues, they love to laugh. But it was always me creating the laughter in all my romantic relationships; it was as though I always got involved with men who were somewhat broken in some sense of their lives, despite their profession or standing in society. My attraction to wanting to fix people followed me through my childhood, always feeling I could help my father win back my mother so he wouldn’t feel so broken. But that was until I met my husband. The first man in my life who could make me laugh and didn’t need fixing.

Other than some good times and particular incidents that were funny in other relationships, I hadn’t experienced laughter daily until I met my Puppy. Even when something had brought me down, my hubby would always remind me of the brighter side of life. Sure he had his share of ups and downs in life like anyone else, but he had a special way of getting through and past things without harboring his wounds.

My Puppy was the first true love of my life. He loved me through all my war wounds unconditionally. We laughed our way through a most beautiful life together until god put a stop to it and took him for himself. Grief is an extension of love. The more you loved, the more you will grieve. The hardest part about grief is learning exactly how to live with it. 💔

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I recently did a podcast interview with Rebecca Budd of Tea Toast & Trivia. She wanted to discuss with me the day-to -day things a griever encounters, how and what do people say to a griever, and more. Please join us and listen in on our conversation, and please feel free to leave your thoughts.

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Welcome to Tea, Toast and Trivia

Thank you for listening in

I am your host Rebecca Budd, and I look forward to sharing this moment with you. 

I am delighted that blogger, non-fiction writer, memoir author and podcaster, Debby Gies and I are connecting Toronto and Vancouver, Canada.

Debby is a Canadian author, writing under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She writes about real life and the events that she has had to navigate through and overcome.  Her intent is to inspire others by sharing her stories and the lessons that have come along with them.

In her podcast “Grief – The Real Talk”, Debbie speaks from the heart and from personal experience.   She takes listeners through the painful journey of her grief after losing the love of her life, sharing her observations about the changes that occur during the grieving process.

I invite you to put the kettle on and add to this profound and moving conversation on Tea Toast & Trivia.

Thank you for joining Debby and me on Tea Toast & Trivia.

And a special thank you, Debby, for sharing your insights on grieving. Losing a loved one is an inevitable part of life. It is a deeply emotional and challenging experience that requires careful consideration.

Original Source: https://teatoasttrivia.com/2024/01/08/season-6-episode-1-d-g-kaye-on-her-podcast-grief-the-real-talk/?unapproved=8619&moderation-hash=66989b18be0a34e428e19a5d64110c8a#comment-8615

©DGKaye2024

I am Me. Are You Always the Same You?

Are you always your authentic self or do you have different personnas for different environments?

Do you alter your voice for different people or when in different settings?

Are you quieter around some people and bolder around others? Or are you just you, the same you all the time no matter who you’re with or where you are? Now, I’m not referring to toning down ourselves for a situation such as, we’re in church so we have to whisper. That doesn’t alter who we are just because we lowered our voice. I’m referring to our personalities. Often, people change their characters or personality to fit in with their surroundings, either because they feel pressured (from outside influences, or their own pressure put upon themselves).

I am me. Often, when I meet people in person who I’d previously only spoken to on phone or online and when we meet, they tell me I’m just how I sound. My bubbly personality is my usual mode (when I’m not in grieving mode). Those who know me and/or my books, know that I am the same me whether I’m talking on my blog, social media, or writing a book. Of course, I’m a nonfiction author, meaning all my stories are my truth. So naturally, my writing will sound the same everywhere, even in comments. But in everyday life, and certainly on social media, many people disguise their real personality.

Some people try to be someone they’re not, especially when trying to impress another, or perhaps because they feel insecure around someone who may be more well-known or popular, or perhaps when around an authority type. Others may become shrinking violets around stronger personalities, whereas, others may come off as bullyish when they can’t take the spotlight.

I am me

I’ll use my mother, who was a staunch narcissist, as an example of switching characters:

My mother had a special, what me and my siblings used to refer to as her ‘pretendy’ voice. My mother had a constant need to be the most popular, the most beautiful, the absolute center of attention anywhere she went, and often, she’d lie and pretend to be more than who she was if opportunity struck. When she was around people she wanted to impress, she’d use ‘that’ voice. It drove us kids crazy. Her inauthenticity never failed to catch our attention, and quietly, me and my siblings would chuckle and give each other the eyeroll when our mother went in ‘performance’ mode. In these instances, her voice would go up an octave when introduced to or introducing someone, especially with one who had lots of money. My mother was always trying to impress anyone who would fawn over her.

As I grew up I studied my mother since I was a young child. When I was very young, I idolized my mother because I felt like I was living with a movie-star-like mother. But once I turned six or seven, I became a quick-study. I began to realize that how my mother treated my father wasn’t right. And by the time I was eleven, I was so on to her. I’d already lived so much under her rule by then, I watched and listened intensely to her behavior. I realized she had a whole ‘nother side to her personality, a very manipulative one. And I knew that she was fearless and would stoop to anything to get her way for anything she wanted to have or do.

I used my mother as an example of how people’s behaviors demonstrate how and who they are. Not everyone is always their authentic selves. But as it turned out in my case, I was lucky I was intuitive and observant because looking back, I can see how easy it could have been to become a follower instead of learning how not to be like her. I took the higher road in life and have no regrets. I learned how important it was to be authentic, never wanting to become a phony like my mother was. And most likely, my growing up life was inspired by my young life, which helped shape me to become authentic, one who learned to call out bullshit and injustice, and ultimately, a writer who is compelled to speak truth.

I suppose I could easily have become a fictional writer, given the colorful background of my young life, where escape stories were my go to. But as I grew older, I chose to write about truth in my stories instead of hiding them under the cover of fiction.

I am me. Are you, you?

©DGKaye2023

Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Spiritual Awareness – Soul Contracts – Choosing our Family Before Birth by D.G. Kaye

Today I’m sharing my recent edition from my Spiritual Awareness series column at Sally Cronin’s Smorgasbord Blog Magazine. In this post I’m discussing soul contracts we make before birth.

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spiritual awareness

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Explore the spiritual side of our natures as D.G. Kaye shares her experiences and research into this element of our lives.

You can find part seventeen of the series: Signs, Synchronicity, and Energy by D.G. Kaye

Today Debby explores our past lives, something that has fascinated both philosophers for thousands of years and also more recently scientists. I am sure as always the post will encourage you to share your experiences and raise questions. Debby suggested I share my thoughts as well.

“I do believe in rebirth, and how can you not when you see a four year old play Chopin or a six year old sing an aria that would challenge a seasoned professional. I also believe in cellular memory. Not just the body carrying forward traits from many generations physically like the colour of hair or facial features and certain hereditary diseases but other cells such as our brain cells and perhaps the knowledge they contain.” ~ Sally Cronin

Now over to Debby… enjoy

Soul Contracts – Choosing our Family Before Birth

Welcome back to my Spiritual Awareness series here at the Smorgasbord. In this edition I’m going to be talking about why it is said that we choose our families before we’re born. Some might wonder if that is the case, why would anyone choose a tortured or difficult life? But it’s all about the life lessons.

Now, granted, if you don’t believe our souls don’t die when our bodies do, and if you don’t believe we’ve had past lives, then I’m not here to convince anyone, rather just discuss what I know about the subject. Many of these discussions about choosing a family before we’re born come from spiritualists, religious experts, and Yogis, and of course, cannot be proven scientifically because there are just some things from other realms we will never physically have proof of in this life.

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Before we incarnate into a new body, we make a collective decision, our souls commune with other souls to collaborate in negotiation as to what life lessons we should need to learn with our particular choice of purpose we agree to fill. As well, some are sent to repeat lessons for past unfulfilled karma. This is named our ‘soul contract’. The purpose of growing through this contract is to graduate to a higher consciousness of understanding.

It is said that every soul is assigned a guardian angel who works with seven teachers before they incarnate into human form. After our new birth we’ll find ourselves in a family where we will, as well as the parents we choose, learn what to expect from life or pass on our accrued knowledge from various past lives to teach them in a current life, and for us to learn life lessons we perhaps missed in a previous life from them. Our souls must follow the laws of the universe. If souls don’t abide by making a positive contribution in their lives, they will be deemed to repeat life lessons in another life.

What takes place is the family we choose to be born into. Time, date, and place of birth are all relevant to the contract. People will come into our lives we are meant to learn something from as part of a healing from a past life or even in our current one. We all are given Free Will, which permits us to choose a path to go down or avoid – yet, despite the route we choose to get there, our destiny will never change.

Our ultimate destiny is to experience Unconditional Love through each life throughout the universe to enhance our energies. Our chosen soul contract is the ‘deal’ we make with ourselves to evolve into a higher awareness. And we are told we are never alone without our spirit guides and angels guiding us.

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Often throughout our lives we receive ‘signs’ or messages to remind us to keep on the right path. We are sent people at the precise time in life we need to meet them to introduce us to something we need to learn. These people may come and go, stay, or revisit, as the universe extends us a helping hand.

These soul contracts are made in conjunction with the people we will meet in our lives on earth. As I like to say, we meet people for Reasons and Seasons. We may make contact for a short time with someone we meet on the street, store, or anywhere who has something to enlighten us with or inform. This is all pre-destined, all the players we’ll meet in our life on earth are here to teach us lessons.

We may encounter a hurtful situation and learn forgiveness from it. We may be abandoned by someone and through their love, teach us to stand up for ourselves, or allow ourselves to succumb to the pain. We may become caregivers giving love, or we may have to encounter stubborn or unstable family members. Again, lessons. Some lessons we’ll have already mastered in another life which we can also pass onto others in a current life.

We are made of many past lives we’ve lived in. In each of those lives we’ve learned and, also, failed to learn something, which must become a repeated lesson to learn in the next life. We come with no recollection of our past life, other than the things ‘we instinctively know’ from a past life. It’s like we begin each new life with a clean slate, yet, bring with us some knowledge from our past life. The rest is forgotten when we start anew. Could you imagine if we harbored all the baggage we acquired from each life and had to tote it along with us in each consequent life?

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No, just the essential lessons. It is said that our entire lives and past lives are stored in the Akashic Archives, kind of like a universal archived library of recordings of memories throughout our lives. Lessons not taken in as supposed to in one life will follow in the next life, like karma, those lessons must be learned . . . Please read the conclusion at Sally’s Smorgasbord

©DGKaye2023

Fifteen First Times – by D.G. Kaye – Graffiti Lux Art & More

I was thrilled when Resa McConaghy of Graffiti Lux Art and More, contacted me to tell me that she enjoyed my latest book, Fifteen First Times, and wanted to write a review in her usual artistic manor, and asked me a few questions about parts she’d read, and my answers ultimately, ended up in her review post. Resa is an artist in her gown designs, and an avid, and fabulous photographer. The butterfly images are her captures in her street art, graffitti mural art searches – right here in our city of Toronto.

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Fifteen First Times – by D.G. Kaye

It’s easy to read these memoirs, and think of your own first times. I kept thinking of my first times.

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Nonetheless, these are D.G.’s first times gleaned from the garden of her life.

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Whether it’s a commonality, such as diets, shoes or learning to drive, I see we are each alone, unique in our experiences.

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First boyfriend or first kiss  are times when we are not alone during the experience. Yet, are we not experiencing the same things, each in our own way and own world?

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I was struck with all the humour in these memoirs.

I thought…”Does D.G. know how funny she is? Even when in reality sometimes things aren’t so funny”?

Then at the end of the book re: “First and Last Love”,  she says “Humor. It’s the one thing that always got me through some of the darker moments in life.”

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Resa – D.G., My question was before I read that, and still is – Did you know you were being funny when you wrote this? I mean did you have to think about adding the humour after it was written, or were you consciously being aware that you should write humor as you wrote?

OR –  Did you just write, and the humor presented itself naturally?

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D.G. – My motto as a writer is – eclectic conversationalist. I write like I speak (of course with edits). I’m afraid my personality is always present in all my books – despite the content. I’m a storyteller, and this my friend, is my voice. Thank you for noticing and picking that out.

Resa – Well, D.G. don’t be afraid! (I’m being funny there!) Your personality’s voice is a queen. (not being funny here)

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Now, one might ask, “What’s with all the butterflies?”

Please continue reading over at Resa’s artistic blog. I love how she created a page banner with fifteen copies of my book. 💚

Source: Fifteen First Times – by D.G. Kaye – Graffiti Lux Art & More

©DGKaye2023