It is with great exhale that I’m announcing my new release to the universe – About the Real Stages of Grief, available on all the Amazons.
This book is what I’d call, a real labor of love. I was inspired to write this book from the subjects (the stages) I spoke about in my podcasts on grief. Of course, a few podcasts does not make a book, but my idea for the book evolved from there. It also took quite some time from idea to published because my strict self-imposed writing deadlines have changed drastically through the years. Also, because of flashbacks sometimes, which would then have me closing shop until the next urge to write.
With that all said, I’m thrilled to announce the birth of:
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It takes a village they say. So I’d like to thank my village for all their generous time helping me out on the road to publication: Friend and author, Cheryl Spears, for capturing the final cover look and design, after MANY mockups and font hunts, and to David Cronin for giving generously of his time creating my book layouts, image files, putting up with gremlins, and for creating the final font I wanted 😍. And of course, for my sister/friend, author and blogger extraordinaire, Sally Cronin, who is sometimes like a fairy Godmother. 💜 Also a mention to my editor, Talia Leduc who used to live in Canada and now resides in Australia, so glad we got the payment issue sorted out! And another heartfelt thanks to friend and author, Diana Peach, who so graciously offered to create this trailer below for the book.
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I’m also thrilled to share an excerpt here from the beginning of the book:
The Many Stages of Grief
“They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies.” — William Penn
I’m going to start by saying that grief has many stages. These don’t often follow chronological order, but they do repeat themselves. They suddenly appear and catch us off guard. A simple gasp snaps us into a moment of grief, and a few tears well up in our eyes. Every person who experiences loss will experience it differently, and some may encounter stages that others have not. But despite this uniquity, grievers share many common experiences in the aftermath of loss. I’m going to speak about those with you in this book.
Some of us may be familiar with the famous five stages of grief introduced by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler in their book collaboration On Death and Dying. In that book, the stages of grief referred to the person who was dying, to the various stages of grief the dying person himself experiences. We, the grievers left behind, may experience those five stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) as well as many others. We may experience stages in between, or stages that repeat back and forth, often coming on suddenly, sometimes without provocation. The cycle of grief has no set stages, no time limits, no given number of repeats. We endure each or any of these stages randomly and repeatedly, frequently or sporadically.
As grievers, we share certain phases and moments in common, but we do so in ways unique to each of us. The topic of death is not popular for most, but for those of us who’ve loved and lost, it’s important to talk about.
Grief is like an illness we learn to live with. The treatment for that illness comes with a barrage of side effects. For some, health is compromised, as was mine in the first year after I lost my husband. When the mind is steeped in grief, nothing else feels like it matters. That state of grief can affect many of our day-to-day functions. Some may look to food for comfort, whereas others, like me, lose interest in food. Yes, eating disorders, sleep disorders, and an array of other symptoms can befall us. Some of us will swear we now live with a form of PTSD, as new triggers abound. Triggers can be anything, a familiar sight, sound, smell, taste, or touch, after the world as we knew it has been ripped from us. A picture, a song, a meal, a movie, even a word can set off a trigger and instill a momentary lapse into deep grief, often unexpectedly.
Triggers are like an emotional stranglehold that momentarily surrounds us. These are often accompanied by overwhelming fear and anxiety. Every griever will identify his or her own triggers, and these don’t magically disappear. With time, we must merely find a way to tuck them down inside ourselves and learn to live gracefully with them. I know I’m still wearing my baby shoes after four years.
We learn to live our new solo lives. Undoubtedly, we may not be happy about it, but we have no choice, as the alternative isn’t appealing.
I’m a strong woman who has lived through some terrible things, but nothing, I mean NOTHING, has been as painful as the grief I carry with me daily after losing the love of my life.
It doesn’t matter that I could almost lift park benches from the strength I’ve acquired through my difficulties. This stranglehold that suffocates me is an opponent more enormous than anything else in my life some days, and it can become emotionally crippling.
I often drift to the dark side since losing my other half. Time doesn’t necessarily ease the pain. Though grief may eventually come down to a slow simmer rather than constantly bubbling over, it never leaves. But it does shift as we are forced to find a way to continue with our lives instead of merely existing.
Whenever the grief monster appears, I find myself in a mental duel. These duels can be quite trying, and they never cease, despite everyone in my circles forgetting that I am in this grief business for life. The loneliness can be overwhelming. Nobody is here with me, and though I’m not one to cry for help and burden others, I can’t help but wonder, where are some of the people who used to be in my life?
In the coming chapters, I will share my experiences about some of the various stages of grief. Grief isn’t a phase we get over and move on from. Grief is the price we pay for love. It’s a journey we must learn to live with, because it lives in us. It’s not an exercise we complete, nor is it a place we visit and leave. But with time, we learn to carry the heavy load of lost love, as grief becomes our constant companion.
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Note: The Paperback version will be available by week’s end. I’ve learned to never publish paperbacks until I’ve seen a review copy first with my own eyes. So I await the paperback copies to peruse first.
©DGKaye2025
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