D.G. Kaye is a nonfiction/memoir writer, writing from her life experiences and self-medicating with a daily dose of humor. Live Laugh Love and Don't Forget to Breathe!
I had a different post prepared to share today, but I’m going to save that for another day because I don’t feel the timing is appropriate now. The article I wrote is about True Crime in my opinion, as well as a share about my own scary past.
So today’s post is just short with a question. I recently received a horrid and life-threatening comment on one of my recent posts, my writing tips post to be exact. I’m grateful that I don’t allow comments without my approval, and this one came direct to me in comments, not even spam. It was quite lengthy, threatening me, hopped over from LinkedIn, told me how he’s going to r@pe me and kill my family, he knows where I live, and if I promote anywhere, I’ll deal with his bosses. There were some choice words about what he’s going to do to me if I don’t promote with his bosses.
I was horrified at what I read. I checked in with a close friend (author) sharing what I read, and she told me she too had received the same! I’ve been mulling this over, and since there are so many cyber bullies and scammers, we never know how serious a threat can be, so I’ve decided rather than ‘just be cautious’, I would inform our Canadian RCMP cyber fraud department. And that I did to no avail after three hours on hold for the non emergency police. That was after wasting an hour online filling out my complaint on the RCMP fraud page. Except you waste your time filling out everything five times, only to find their website isn’t functioning so you can’t submit after filling out. It’s no surprise so many people die before they can get help. Yup, that’s about the speed of overwhelmed, under-funded Toronto with all of our social services and cuts – thanks to Doug Ford.
What my question is today for all of you bloggers and authors, have any of you received such a threat in your WordPress comments – or on social media, for that matter? I would like to know if this may be a group author target or if I have more to worry about.
Welcome to my Sunday Book Review. Today I’m reviewing Deborah Brasket’s – When Things Go Missing. This book is a story about a mom who leaves home to go to the store – and doesn’t return. When mom goes missing, how does her husband Walter and her adult children cope in her absence?
What happens when the one person holding a family together mysteriously disappears?How well do we really know anyone, especially those we love the most?
One day Fran heads toward the grocery store and keeps going till she reaches the tip of South America, leaving an empty hole in the lives of her family: Kay, a cranky archaeology student who adores her mother but distrusts men in general, her father and brother in particular. Cal, a heroin addict living at home, left with a father he fears and no means of support; and Walter, a devoted husband but distant father, who tracks his wife’s journey across the continent with pushpins on a map.
Adding to the mystery of the mother’s disappearance are the “gifts” she sends her family: The elated messages she leaves on Kay’s phone, but never when she’s there to pick up. The strange photographs she sends Cal, who studies them like hieroglyphs he must decipher to save her and himself. The credit card bills she leaves Walter, allowing him to continue caring for her, until he undertakes his own journey northward. How they fill the missing pieces in their lives to make their family whole again creates the heart of this novel.
When Things Go Missing is a masterful exploration of loss, loyalty, and knotty, dysfunctional families, told through the viewpoints of Kay, Cal, and Walter. It reveals the subtle and dramatic ways addiction affects the bonds that hold a family together. This heartfelt meditation on family is wrapped up in a propulsive page-turner that you cannot help getting swept up in.
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My 5 Star Review:
When mom, Fran, flies the coop and leaves her dysfunctional adult children, Kay an archaeologist, and Cal a drug addict, and aloof husband Walter behind, the book is what happens. Fran goes out to the store one day and keeps driving right through to South America. We’ll learn through the chapters – stories shared by daughter Kay, and drug addict son Cal, and husband Walter who really doesn’t have much to say, but keeps track of his wife’s whereabouts on a map with a pushpin and continues to pay her credit card bills. Nobody seems overly concerned about Fran’s solo escape at first, but we’ll learn exactly how her missing presence really does affect her family as we get to know them and their thoughts about their family life through the chapters.
Family dysfunction abounds in this story, and as we learn how these characters feel about their absent mother, they are also learning to grow up and deal with their problems while mommy isn’t always around to make things better for them. This is a story about a dysfunct family who all appear lost when mom isn’t around, and a husband who too wanders.
Kay is a bit of a worry wart, and the one who presents herself with the clearest head. She’s always anxious and sometimes desperate to hear from her mom – who only calls on Kay’s landline to leave her messages when she knows Kay isn’t home. Cal is a mess. He’s drugged out and has been to rehab more than once. He doesn’t show responsibility and seems to have a love-hate relationship with his father. He’s been a pain and a drain for so long, I feel his dad is just tired of the rinse and repeat of Cal. Whereas, mom, Fran, has always coddled her son. Cal comes off to me as entitled with zero ambition, but somehow we can feel that he vies for his father’s attention; some recognition or approval when he attempts to do any household chore. Dad Walter comes off as aloof, no opinion, no worry, no questions as to why his wife is gone, yet he continues to pay for her lifestyle and travel.
Months after mom is gone, Dad decides he needs to take a fishing trip up in Alaska, and that journey opens up new ideas for Walter – perhaps like planting some roots in Alaska and fishing the rest of his life. Meanwhile, back at the house, Cal is on a never-ending trip with heroine and has been selling everything he can from the house to keep up his drug habit. And then once again, miraculously dries out again, deciding to take up welding with his free time; a convenient hobby since his dad was a welder and had a garage full of equipment. Has Cal decided to finally grow up? Then a new person shows up in Cal’s life who seems to turn the tide for him, as they are a good fit for each other. Can Cal stay away from the drugs? Kay also seems to grow up with her aversion to committment after she meets Richard, a gallery owner, and struggles with her feelings for Richard and her fear of committment.
I felt as though I was watching these characters grow as they seemed to stumble through life after Fran left their security zone. Even Walter in his new life, discovered things about himself, his marriage, and his kids as he planted himself in Alaska. Although we never find out why Fran left through this story, it’s not difficult to figure that perhaps Fran had had enough, wanted to explore the world, and knew leaving would be the only chance her adult children may have to finally grow up.
This book is a slow burn. It’s about people, family, lives, dependence, growing, struggling, and finally finding themselves on a bittersweet journey to discovery of self and peace. It’s character-driven so it’s meant to take these damaged people in and discover how life conditions them and finally finding themselves. It’s not a thriller with a suspenseful plot, it’s about how life affected one family when the matriarch took a powder. One may assume this is a story of Fran’s journey, but it’s really a story about how those left behind can handle life without their mother’s care, concern, and support, when we can see it was so blatantly taken for granted. Things change, people change – when things go missing.
Welcome back to my Heroic-a series of empowering women of WWII. Today I’m spotlighting one of the deadliest female snipers of WWII, Lyudmila Pavlichenko, who killed 309 fascists in the Soviet Union – in the now known as Ukraine.
Lyudmila Pavlichenko was born in Bil Tserkva, Ukraine in 1916. She was a complicated human being – brave, and forever haunted by her killings. She was a history student, became a mother, a wife twice, and a sniper. Her war is now over, but her words remain.
“Gentlemen, I am twenty-five years old and have killed three hundred and nine invaders. By now, don’t you think you’ve been hiding behind my back too long?” ~ This was the beginning of Lyudmila’s speech when she was sent to America in 1941 and met President Roosevelt and First Lady, Eleanor to try and get the US to join the war on the European front.
In 1930, Lyudmila’s family moved to Kiev, (now part of Ukraine). She was a tomboy who joined a shooting club in the Soviet Union. She worked by day at Kiev arsenal and at night she studied at the university. Her spare time was spent on shooting practice. She earned many badges and ultimately became the Soviet Union’s most remarkable precision marksman – fierce and determined.
By June 1941, operation Barbarosa happened. Nazi Germany invaded the Soviet Union. Lyudmila went straight to the registry to join the war and fought to become a shooter – not a nurse or any other female roles. They tested her by handing her a rifle and told her to shoot two Nazis. Piece of cake for her. She was assigned rifle duty. The rifle weighed over four kilograms, which became like a third arm. Three weeks later she’d accumulated over one hundred sniper kills and made a hero by the Russian Red army. They nicknamed her – Lady Death.
During her first kill campaign, Lyudmila fell in love with a fellow sniper and married him. She was sent to the Crimean Peninsula to fight for eight grueling months of unrelenting hell to fight in the Battle of Sevastopol. The Soviets were outnumbered ten to one. By June 1942, the Luftansa had dropped over fifty tons of artillery on them. After the siege, only eleven survived. Lyudmila was one of them. She trained new snipers and was promoted to Lieutenant. Her new husband died in battle, and Lyudmila channeled her grief through her rifle. Her record for counter snipers were remarkable. The National WWII Museum states that she won every battle she fought. Her patience remained hidden as she stayed concealed without movement for three days during the Battle of Sevastopol.
Lyudmila’s tactical methods were diabolical. She never had to fire more than one shot, just as she never used the same hiding place twice. She was an ace at using decoys. Lyudmila suffered four wounds by 1942. Two were serious shrapnel wounds that left her in hospital in Crimea. The Soviets realized just how valuable she was and didn’t want her back in the action risking her life, but opted to use her to train other snipers. And in 1941, she was sent to Washington, D.C. to gain the support of America to join the war and help fight the fascists. Stalin wanted Western allies to join in the European front. Lyudmila was the first Soviet citizen to be seen by an American president. Roosevelt was welcoming, but it seemed American journalists were more interested in her beauty secrets than her heroism.
By the time Lyudmila spoke in Chicago, she learned how to handle the press. She toured forty-three cities with First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt. After some tough ice-breaking, the two women became lifelong friends and maintained correspondence for almost two decades. In 1957, Eleanor visited Moscow. She connected with Lyudmila, all the while accutely aware they were being listened to. Eleanor commented, “There is something very charming to me about this Russian woman.” Their friendship lasted until the death of Eleanor in 1962.
In 1943 Lyudmila was awarded the Gold Star Hero award of the Soviet Union. She also received The Order of Lenin, and a commemorative stamp was made in her name. American song writer, Woodie Guthrie wrote a song for her. She also received many gifts from the U.S. From 1945 to 1953 she completed her university studies at Kiev and became a historian for the Soviet Navy headquarters, while suffering exacerbating PTSD for the rest of her life.
On October 10th, 1974, at the age of fifty-eight, Lyudmila Pavlichenko died of a stroke. The weight of war always leaves a high price tag on human life.
Watch the full story of Lyudmila Pavlichenko below in this half hour video.
Welcome to my Sunday Book Review. It seems I still haven’t got to all the Harbor Pointe series books by various authors, but I did manage to read D.L. Finn’s book this past weekend – The Destination: Harbor Pointe, and a good mystery it was.
The Harbor Pointe Inn has loomed on California’s cliffs for generations of Hawthornes. For some, it’s been a blessing. For others, a curse. Travel through two centuries of stories to discover the old inn’s secrets.
It’s 1967, and best friends Lacey and Sandy are enjoying a beach vacation, completely unaware of the danger that is lying in wait outside their door. Their room is quaint, with an amazing view of the Pacific Ocean and an old lighthouse, but a killer is stalking their next victim. Powerless, Annie the ghost watches, knowing there’s nothing she can do to help—not even her parents, the innkeepers. Who will survive their stay at the Harbor Pointe Inn, where the edge of evil lurks within the shadows?
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My 5 Star Review:
Another exciting story at The Destination in Harbor Pointe. In this story, DL Finn takes us into a bit of a mystery with a hint of paranormal. Two best friends, Lacey and Sandy, are taking a road trip and end up spending time at the Harbor Pointe Inn.
The room is lovely and so are the people, and before long, Lacey and Ben meet with some instant chemistry. There’s a friendly ghost named Annie, daughter of the Innkeepers, and she knows well that someone won’t be waking up tomorrow morning. But nobody can see Annie except Sandy.
Sandy and Lacey are two enjoyable characters to get to know. Sandy hasn’t learned to stand up for herself yet and Lacey is a great life coach to her friend, asking her to reconsider staying with a boyfriend she has no spark for, and continuing her dream of finishing university and becoming a marine biologist, always cheering her on. Lacey has plans to travel abroad for a few years, so this trip could be the last for the girls together.
As Lacey and Ben get to know each other, they decide to take an evening stroll together while Sandy prefers to read and relax. The evening turns into night and Sandy falls asleep, only to awaken the next morning to find Lacey not there and her bed untouched. This sets off a search to check Lacey and Ben’s whereabouts and anyone else who appears missing – no spoilers.
This is a short story that packs a punch with good characters and wonderfully descript setting. Throw in a ghost and a mystery and it makes a perfect paranormal whodunit.
Welcome back to my best picks of the month of my curated tips for writers. In this edition, Beem Weeks is at the Story Empire with a wonderful tutorial on Creating Vivid Settings for our books. And Victoria Strauss of Writer Beware is sharing the latest author scams going on coming into our emails through fake AI publishers now inviting us to author festivals and conference events, Anne R. Allen on Book Publicity Scammers, Hugh Roberts shares a new tutorial on how to use Ping Backs, Alliance Independent Authors shares best and worst social media sites for authors.
Beem Weeks at the Story Empire – Creating Vivid Settings
Welcome to my Sunday Book Review. I couldn’t wait to sink my eyes into Terry Tyler’s latest book in her Revenge series trilogy. Revenge can be sweet, but you may be taking yourself along for the ride – hence, Two Graves.
Two novellas. Two lives changed forever by the need for retribution.
The Torment of Frances Cullen
Frances loves married life. Her husband, her daughters and her beloved home, which she has made so many sacrifices to keep. She socialises with the wives-and-girlfriends mafia of the upmarket Edgehill Gated Community, even though she despises them. It’s what husband Jarvis requires of her. Sadly, nothing she can do will stop the walls crumbling around her. When the collapse begins, reason vanishes.
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The Content Creator
Jennifer was a journalist, back in the day. Twenty years ago, she presented a local TV show. Now she’s happily single, loving her work as a script editor, her busy social life and her daughter. She’s even friends with ex-husband Tony’s new girlfriend. Then Tony switches partners yet again. The new lady on the block embodies everything Jennifer detests about new media. Soon, her resentment of Sook Lee will become an obsession…
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My 5 Star Review:
This third book in Tyler’s Revenge series will keep you hooked in these two stories.
Revenge can be a deadly thing – sometimes with intent, sometimes it’s that last straw that hits on a mountain of other hurt – and sometimes, revenge may hit more than the intended target – I think they call that karma.
The Torment of Frances Cullen – Fran and Jarvis get married. Jarvis lives by the ‘plan’ – make money, build a business, and eventually move to the big times – the Edgehill gated community where the plastic housewives reside – not much different to all the Housewives series on TV. Except, Fran doesn’t fit in, despite doing everything Jarvis tells her to do – almost like a Stepford wife. The other housewives gossip behind her back about her awkwardness, while Jarvis keeps her in line – with his plans. But Jarvis is somewhat of a narcissist who makes sure his life is cushy at home while gallivanting with another woman, because he’s important now.
Fran only wants to love her husband and her daughters, she’s tired of being left out of her husband’s life, and when she learns of his evil plan to exile her, Fran has no choice but to retaliate – and retaliate she does! With an ending so unexpected, but appropriate. And sometimes when letting karma pay a visit, it just may take everyone with it.
In Content Creator – Jennifer is a longtime script editor married to TV exec, Tony. But Tony has other plans for his life, and that no longer includes Jennifer as he cements a new live-in relationship with the much younger, Youtube health guru, Sook.
As Jen’s life begins to unravel and her job is taken away, along with her teen daughter Lydia it seems, who is caught up in the awesomeness of the Youtuber health advisor, Sook. Jen feels she’s vying for her own daughter’s attention. Lydia is happier spending time with her dad and his girlfriend because she’s so cool. And when something major happens to Lydia and she doesn’t even bother telling her mother, but confides in Sook for advice instead, the arena of vengeance opens up with Jennifer.
Lydia confides something very personal about Sook to her mom, swearing her to secrecy – only, we all know stuff hits the fan eventually and gets out. Betraying her daughter by trying to whistle blow on Sook, opens up a whole Pandora’s box of who said what, and where karma eventually lands.
Two Graves is a great read, two stories about wounds in familial relationships and how the human condition processes the wounds and provokes retaliation.
I’ve been listening a lot lately to some of the works and essays of Carl Jung. Recently, I was listening to his thoughts on people who choose to cut off family for the betterment of their health, and because this is something that happened to me, I found it resonated well. For those of you who’ve read some of my earlier books on growing up with a narcissistic mother and emotional abuse, you may appreciate why this resonated with me.
If someone hasn’t worn the shoes of living stuck in a toxic environment and finally finding the courage to exit, they shouldn’t judge others. Jung says, “It is not weakness, but strength that helps us leave a toxic relationship.” Many choose to blame the person who exits a relationship without understanding the daily hell that person lives through being emotionally battered.
The fixer, the golden child, the blacksheep, whichever noun chosen, is a common target of the narcissistic mother. Family doesn’t always know us, we are who they need us to be, sometimes with no understanding of who we really are. Cutting out family is typically not impulsive, as Jung says, “It’s death by a thousand cuts.” After what can be a lifetime of hurt, after clarity strikes for the final time, I finally chose self and sanity. I love that Jung quotes this as, “Chosen bonds are stronger than biological accidents, the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
Guilt operates on many levels – surface guilt, suffering in silence. And I can say that it stays quietly, despite the need for that separation. Staying in toxic situations doesn’t only hurt us, it carries down to next generation. Walking away is healing despite how it seems to outsiders. The world doesn’t understand self-preservation until our own is attacked. We are taught family comes first always. Society tell us to forgive and endure. But why should we stay in abuse when those who are supposed to protect us are our abusers?
Family estrangement is a choice to end a connection. It is pain that has reached the point of the last straw that fell, which finally invites the awakening. When you grow up mostly walking on eggshells, you learn young how to read a room, leaving us questionning why the people who are supposed to love us the most, hurt us most.
Some relationships will not move no matter what is done. After all the discussions, words of forgiveness, and many unfulfilled promises by the abuser, we learn we can’t change a sick person single handedly. We are not the fixers. It’s time to go. When the result is the same every time we try to make things better, the balance is off and the cycle repeats. But once we leave, the weight lifts, but don’t be fooled because the grief remains for what we no longer have – or sometimes, never had.
Judgments come. People who know nothing about emotional abuse preach how we only get one family, telling us we must go back. But what if you feel you aren’t part of or never felt like part of that family? Leaving is a painful choice, but less painful in the long run as we rebuild our lives and take care of ourselves.
Family isn’t always blood. Family are the people who stand by us through good times and bad. They offer their ears and compassion. But sometimes they don’t. Good relationships have love and care and concern. This goes for both – blood relationships and no blood relationship.Blacksheep often become happier and healthier when removing themselves from toxic environments and people. I know I surely did. There is no rule stating because we are blood we are condemned to taking abuse from someone for the rest of our life. The choice is ours, and ours alone. The heart and soul know when capacity has been reached from hurt. No other person can gauge that for us, and also has no right to judge.
Cutting contact isn’t necessarily about hating someone, it’s about self-preservation. Also, you can still love someone and not be in their presence. Sometimes we have to prune the family tree to either, stunt the growth of rot, or to give it a new life to grow stronger new branches.
It takes more strength to leave than stay. The estrangement road to healing can be a long road, but the healing price that overcomes us is worth the price of the journey. When you can look back on your life and see growth instead of continuing to minimize ourselves to fit in or appease, that’s peace.
The family curse ends when it’s cut off and when self-love begins, with the courage to walk away. I chose healing over pretense and hurt. Hurting people on purpose isn’t an accident, it’s a conscious decision. And blood or no blood, NOBODY should have to stick around it and endure – not a child, a spouse or even a stranger should have to put up with anybody’s verbal abuse – whether it’s from a parent or anyone else! So thank you Carl Jung for understanding this from the victim’s point of view instead of condemning.
Have you ever had to finally walk away from a toxic relationship or environment?
Welcome back to my Sunday Book Review. Today I’m reviewing Cheryl Spears’ #newrelease – Bogie in a Human World – book 3. In this book, Bogie the cat is aging and re-evaluating life with his family – and maybe losing his sarcastic edge – a bit. This may look like a children’s book but this series was written for adults.
Step into the world of Bogie, a clever tuxedo cat with sharp wit, a soft heart, and a unique perspective on human life.
In this charming third and last book of the series, Bogie, once again, invites readers into his world — a place where the everyday chaos, quirks, and love of a family are seen through feline eyes.
Told with humor, honesty, and tenderness, Bogie in a Human World is a celebration of the bond between pets and their people — the small moments that make families whole, and the lasting pawprints left on our hearts.
Perfect for cat lovers and anyone who knows the joy (and mystery) of sharing life with a pet, thie book is at once playful, touching, and unforgettable.
My 5 Star Review:
In this third book of the Bogie the Cat series, Bogie is back, still sharing his wisdom, observances, and opinions. He’s maturing and seems to be going easier on his human family, appreciating their love for him now, as Bogie mellows with age and his sarcasm wanes.
As he analyzes his family members, he notices how the kids have matured with the years. The girl, tells Bogie all her secrets and Bogie now admits his compassion for his family instead of how he made sarcastic comments about them. He now appreciates The boy’s whacky science experiments. He’s found a rhythm with Dad, now comfortable, just being. Bogie reminisces about all the lovely things Mom does for him. But lol, Bogie has yet to warm up to Aunty Linda because she hasn’t learned to love Bogie on his terms.
Bogie still prowls the hallways at night, making the rounds, checking his family is safe and sound. As he ages, he’s taking stock of his life. Clever as ever, Bogie has become sentimental.
DGKayewriter.com 