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My name is Cass, and I'm the host of the Chaos Bitches.
We're not as bad as we sound XD. We are a DID system of over a hundred alters living in a 20 year old body. Our system is young, our "birthday" in July of last year, being when we finally accepted our plurality. Generally our pronouns will be he/him. We are not professionally diagnosed and are not "out" to our family. You may previously have known us as the Goblin Quintet, the Kaonashi System, or the Cupressaceae/Cypress System.
Our goal for this account is mostly personal; to help get to know each other and track our goings on. The side benefit, of course, is that you all get to know us too!
We will be posting our YouTube videos here to share them to a slightly wider audience while still being relatively private. We encourage you to engage us in conversation! Ask questions! Peruse our videos and suggest things to us! We want our YouTube to be about content other plurals want to see, not about education, which means we need your feedback!
I look forward to making content for you all! <3
~~Cassidy
Feb. 1st, 2019 12:42 am
re: last post
Topics like this bother me. Normally the solution for a nonblack nonwhite like myself would be, "well, you can use the culture you come from."
The problem is I cannot. The culture I come from is for one thing very small, from what I have seen. There are no Dutch-Indos I have met who were not my family members, and I have only heard of one out in passing. For another thing, because my mother is white and carries the albino gene, I am too pale to look like the people associated with the culture I grew up in. This would lead me to associate with only whites and use only white culture, except that my childhood and cultural experiences were so different that they other me to real whites. At the same time, other Asians do not accept me because I am too light, because my people ate with hands instead of chopsticks, because because because. You could say I could associate with other Polynesians then, but my family are not just Indonesian, they are Dutch-Indo. They were stolen from their homes and put in concentration camps. They do not see themselves as Polynesians anymore. I have nothing socially in common with Polynesians.
This leaves me in a limbo. I am not allowed, socially, to lay claim to any part of my cultural identity. I have no one to socialize with, and no acceptable social patterns to emulate.
I have always been nothing, but as an adult who is expected to Be Something and Do Something being nothing is extremely hard.
I don't know what to do anymore.
The problem is I cannot. The culture I come from is for one thing very small, from what I have seen. There are no Dutch-Indos I have met who were not my family members, and I have only heard of one out in passing. For another thing, because my mother is white and carries the albino gene, I am too pale to look like the people associated with the culture I grew up in. This would lead me to associate with only whites and use only white culture, except that my childhood and cultural experiences were so different that they other me to real whites. At the same time, other Asians do not accept me because I am too light, because my people ate with hands instead of chopsticks, because because because. You could say I could associate with other Polynesians then, but my family are not just Indonesian, they are Dutch-Indo. They were stolen from their homes and put in concentration camps. They do not see themselves as Polynesians anymore. I have nothing socially in common with Polynesians.
This leaves me in a limbo. I am not allowed, socially, to lay claim to any part of my cultural identity. I have no one to socialize with, and no acceptable social patterns to emulate.
I have always been nothing, but as an adult who is expected to Be Something and Do Something being nothing is extremely hard.
I don't know what to do anymore.
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Feb. 1st, 2019 12:17 am
(no subject)
So.
I saw a post on Tungle Dot Hellsite. A very normal post for tungle. It condemned nonblack speakers/users of AAVE.
I understand that it is bad because nonblacks are seen as hip and cool for using AAVE, while black people are seen as stupid. In the comments, someone also pointed out how much Yiddish gentiles use without realizing it. Both the post and the comment gave examples of words I did not know I was not allowed to use.
For context. This body is not black. It has been speculated that there may have been a black slave involved on my Father's side, but the only person who could have told us the truth about it is long since dead. Father is genetically Ashkenazi, among a handful of other nonwhite and nonblack ethnicities.
Mother is very very white, with a small amount of Inuit.
I am autistic. I carried a dictionary with me every day for many years as a child. I have always spoken with very big, relatively uncommon and often archaic American and British English. I also used smatterings of French, learned from the woman who helped raise me, Dutch from my father's adoptive father, and German from my mother. The result of this is that for the first eighteen years of my life no one was able to understand anything I was saying. This resulted in me declining to say much of anything, and gaining a reputation as "mysterious," "studious," and "quiet."
Perhaps I am wrong, but I had always assumed the purpose of languages was to communicate. And because my Very White and Very Proper English was not enabling me to communicate, I began to learn and integrate slang, dialects, and other such things. I have come to realize that, due to the people my parents socialized with as children, my nonblack father speaks a great deal of AAVE and my white mother a great deal of Yiddish.
It has been blatantly pointed out to me on many occasions that I am not allowed to use AAVE, Yiddish, or anything associated with Asian culture. I do not fully know why this is, other than that I do not experience opression that black people experience, I am not Jewish, and I am not a "real Asian."
This has lead me to the conclusion that I can indeed avoid using any kind of cultural language except the most Proper of American and British English, at the cost of returning to a form of communication which does not allow me to communicate.
Maybe I am stupid, and there is a very easy way of speaking Completely Unproblematic White English that all people can understand, while retaining personal flavor and personality and without dipping into any culturally entangled slang, dialects, or languages.
I am probably just stupid.
I saw a post on Tungle Dot Hellsite. A very normal post for tungle. It condemned nonblack speakers/users of AAVE.
I understand that it is bad because nonblacks are seen as hip and cool for using AAVE, while black people are seen as stupid. In the comments, someone also pointed out how much Yiddish gentiles use without realizing it. Both the post and the comment gave examples of words I did not know I was not allowed to use.
For context. This body is not black. It has been speculated that there may have been a black slave involved on my Father's side, but the only person who could have told us the truth about it is long since dead. Father is genetically Ashkenazi, among a handful of other nonwhite and nonblack ethnicities.
Mother is very very white, with a small amount of Inuit.
I am autistic. I carried a dictionary with me every day for many years as a child. I have always spoken with very big, relatively uncommon and often archaic American and British English. I also used smatterings of French, learned from the woman who helped raise me, Dutch from my father's adoptive father, and German from my mother. The result of this is that for the first eighteen years of my life no one was able to understand anything I was saying. This resulted in me declining to say much of anything, and gaining a reputation as "mysterious," "studious," and "quiet."
Perhaps I am wrong, but I had always assumed the purpose of languages was to communicate. And because my Very White and Very Proper English was not enabling me to communicate, I began to learn and integrate slang, dialects, and other such things. I have come to realize that, due to the people my parents socialized with as children, my nonblack father speaks a great deal of AAVE and my white mother a great deal of Yiddish.
It has been blatantly pointed out to me on many occasions that I am not allowed to use AAVE, Yiddish, or anything associated with Asian culture. I do not fully know why this is, other than that I do not experience opression that black people experience, I am not Jewish, and I am not a "real Asian."
This has lead me to the conclusion that I can indeed avoid using any kind of cultural language except the most Proper of American and British English, at the cost of returning to a form of communication which does not allow me to communicate.
Maybe I am stupid, and there is a very easy way of speaking Completely Unproblematic White English that all people can understand, while retaining personal flavor and personality and without dipping into any culturally entangled slang, dialects, or languages.
I am probably just stupid.
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Jan. 22nd, 2019 11:23 pm
body image
I think I’m happy with the way I’ve been working on my brain to think about body image. I’m reading a fic right now which, as usual, describes one of the female characters as being very curvy and well figured. In the past I only ever really pictured her on the stockier side, certainly not willowy or Instagram-pretty but certainly not fat either. This time, though, is the first time I’ve read her character in a while and my brain has automatically started picturing her as fat. And I don’t mean to say I picture her unattractive; I picture her to have a similar body type to Molly Weasley, now, if with different proportions and more softness to her overall. I’m glad that I can now picture a woman to be curvy and fat and also beautiful. It’s honestly kind of horrible I couldn’t before; society is really bullshit about these kinds of things and because I’ve always been underweight it was never directly something I had to think much about. To be honest I only ever enacted views that others held without believing them, but I still think they’re stupid and I’m glad I’ve moved past it now.
Honestly the way I moved past it was entirely selfish. I started following blogs of beautiful fat models, women who espoused messages of unconditional beauty and body positivity. I wanted to kind of kick my own fears about gaining weight in the ass; it’s something my mother has used to “threaten” me into better behavior and so I wanted to become comfortable with the idea of being fat out of spite. As a side effect, I also became able to appreciate beauty in fat people and picture a beautiful woman as fat without being told explicitly that she is.
I'm not saying any of this for pat-pat-good ally points. I'm not a good ally in anything, nor am I a good person. But I'm proud of how I've been reparenting myself and I think it's important to acknowledge the way we grow and improve, even if those improvements are ones we never should have had to make in the first place.
Honestly the way I moved past it was entirely selfish. I started following blogs of beautiful fat models, women who espoused messages of unconditional beauty and body positivity. I wanted to kind of kick my own fears about gaining weight in the ass; it’s something my mother has used to “threaten” me into better behavior and so I wanted to become comfortable with the idea of being fat out of spite. As a side effect, I also became able to appreciate beauty in fat people and picture a beautiful woman as fat without being told explicitly that she is.
I'm not saying any of this for pat-pat-good ally points. I'm not a good ally in anything, nor am I a good person. But I'm proud of how I've been reparenting myself and I think it's important to acknowledge the way we grow and improve, even if those improvements are ones we never should have had to make in the first place.
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I just did a really dumb video of a cold read of a tumblr post! it was just for fun so it's not great but here it is!
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Here is video! I will maybe subtitle later, words is not important.
--日本人の女の子
--日本人の女の子
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Jan. 6th, 2019 11:32 pm
Hello Everyone!
I know we have not done good with uploading our series yet, but we are very sick! I have film and made short video of very cute makeup! It will upload soon! Very sorry for long wait, body is sick and no one is feel good. Please enjoy this video!
--日本人の女の子
--日本人の女の子
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Jan. 2nd, 2019 08:17 pm
New Spotify!
Hey guys!
We're still recovering both from the """"holidays"""" and from our cold, but Charlie solved one of our problems!
For a while we've been trying to figure out how to make our Spotify playlists accessible to everyone. We have a playlist per alter and would like to be able to share them, but our premium account is shared with family and you can't link people to private playlists.
However, Charlie realized that if we made a free account with all our playlists, we could share that to people and follow it ourselves, so we can have our playlists separate from our singlet account and have them be shareable! (and since we'd be following/listening from our premium, we wouldn't have to deal with the ads lol)
So! If you're at all interested in our music, please check it out here!
Hope you're all doing okay after the winter hols!
--??
We're still recovering both from the """"holidays"""" and from our cold, but Charlie solved one of our problems!
For a while we've been trying to figure out how to make our Spotify playlists accessible to everyone. We have a playlist per alter and would like to be able to share them, but our premium account is shared with family and you can't link people to private playlists.
However, Charlie realized that if we made a free account with all our playlists, we could share that to people and follow it ourselves, so we can have our playlists separate from our singlet account and have them be shareable! (and since we'd be following/listening from our premium, we wouldn't have to deal with the ads lol)
So! If you're at all interested in our music, please check it out here!
Hope you're all doing okay after the winter hols!
--??
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Dec. 28th, 2018 08:08 pm
New Host Identified!
Well hello everyone! We have identified our third host! (Co-co-host!)
The name's Delaney, that's deh-LAAAAAH-nee, not dih-LAYYYY-nee. Del fer short. Seattle Grunge Christmas Elf at your service!
I'm adorable so you best jot that down first. I'm kinda like if Drax and Alphie had a kid who was louder and dumber than both of them! Got the smart mouth and the sarcasm from Drax and Alph's sorta..... Pragmatism? I guess? Like that's the way it be. I'm all about that grungy messy look crossed with the cutesy Christmas elf thing, got a nice swagger to me, love the overexposed Instagram filters.
So! Pleased to meet ya.
--Del
The name's Delaney, that's deh-LAAAAAH-nee, not dih-LAYYYY-nee. Del fer short. Seattle Grunge Christmas Elf at your service!
I'm adorable so you best jot that down first. I'm kinda like if Drax and Alphie had a kid who was louder and dumber than both of them! Got the smart mouth and the sarcasm from Drax and Alph's sorta..... Pragmatism? I guess? Like that's the way it be. I'm all about that grungy messy look crossed with the cutesy Christmas elf thing, got a nice swagger to me, love the overexposed Instagram filters.
So! Pleased to meet ya.
--Del
Dec. 27th, 2018 10:18 pm
Holidays Are Liminal Spaces
Hello everyone,
A quick update on the YouTube sitch. Unfortunately we've gotten into trouble for trying to edit our videos so the last few in the 12 Days of Christmas series will be going up most likely in the new year. I'm very very sorry about this and will endeavor to work considerably ahead of time in the future so as to avoid this happening again.
( TW for... a lot of things, really )
A quick update on the YouTube sitch. Unfortunately we've gotten into trouble for trying to edit our videos so the last few in the 12 Days of Christmas series will be going up most likely in the new year. I'm very very sorry about this and will endeavor to work considerably ahead of time in the future so as to avoid this happening again.
( TW for... a lot of things, really )
Dec. 23rd, 2018 03:54 am
Update on series
Hey everyone, really unfortunately I think our last four videos for the 12 days of Christmas series may end up being posted late. We have three to edit and one more to film; I believe at the least the last three will be on time, but the one we should have posted on the 22nd will not be.
Thank you so much for your patience and I hope you guys are enjoying this series!
--Alphie
Thank you so much for your patience and I hope you guys are enjoying this series!
--Alphie
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Dec. 22nd, 2018 04:10 am
Five Golden Rings
It's a fashion show! Tairy and Vanessa show off our formal outfits and explain how we put together looks.
Dec. 22nd, 2018 04:00 am
Not doing well
I have so much to do and so little time. I'm so tired all the time but I have to keep working.
Have to keep working
Have to keep working
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This video we talk about Jinnie-Hyung and how cool he is! Is this Christmas themed? …..well it has Christmas music, so.....
Also I tried a different preset for encoding it so HOPEFULLY it won't be as tiny this time.
(Update, the margins are still weird, but better. i guess.)
Also I tried a different preset for encoding it so HOPEFULLY it won't be as tiny this time.
(Update, the margins are still weird, but better. i guess.)
Dec. 19th, 2018 11:02 pm
Day 6 is a roast!
It is day six of our 12 days of Christmas series and the entire video is a holiday roast! well, not really, but.
Watch us roast Namjoon!
Watch us roast Namjoon!
Dec. 18th, 2018 09:28 pm
I guess the universe has it's ways
When your channel name and now header art throw themselves into your lap
Dec. 18th, 2018 08:34 pm
Day 5! | TW food/alcohol TW
And here's day 5! First off, don't ask me why the margins are like that. I do not know. But this video is about food adventures!
Please if you're sensitive to talk of food, drink, or alcohol, consider not watching this video or making sure you're feeling secure first. This has some potentially very triggering language for ED's.
Stay safe lovelies!
Please if you're sensitive to talk of food, drink, or alcohol, consider not watching this video or making sure you're feeling secure first. This has some potentially very triggering language for ED's.
Stay safe lovelies!
Dec. 18th, 2018 08:27 pm
What is sleep tho
We REALLY need to stop pulling all nighters 😓. We try not to but with everything piling up we end up working on our own stuff late into the night and the next morning.
If it was just our youtube schedule we would handle it no problem, but we're also the house maid, starting a business, and currently there's been a focus on Christmas shopping as well so we're getting four hours of sleep or less per night. And of course we don't get paid for any of it.
We don't PLAN to monetize our youtube bc nahh but it would be nice to be paid for my labour around the house, you know?? like at least PAY us to trigger ourselves cleaning up your messes mum
~Alphie
If it was just our youtube schedule we would handle it no problem, but we're also the house maid, starting a business, and currently there's been a focus on Christmas shopping as well so we're getting four hours of sleep or less per night. And of course we don't get paid for any of it.
We don't PLAN to monetize our youtube bc nahh but it would be nice to be paid for my labour around the house, you know?? like at least PAY us to trigger ourselves cleaning up your messes mum
~Alphie
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Dec. 17th, 2018 10:48 pm
It's day 4!
Welllllcome everyone to day four, "9 Ladies Dancing!" This is gonna be a short but extremely silly video about our internal dance team so sit back, relax, and enjoy!
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