华尔街日报 | 养育子女有害健康：美国卫生局长这一警告的背后

Parenting Is Hazardous to Your Health, the Surgeon General Warns


美国公共卫生局局长称，很多中年父母都感到孤独。也许真正让我们沮丧的是养育子女过程中的无力感。为何当代父母比前几代人更累？面对养育压力，个人和政府能做些什么？



美国公共卫生局局长发出警告：养育子女可能损害你的心理健康。
There’s a new U.S. surgeon general’s warning: Parenting can be harmful to your mental health.
   
美国公共卫生局局长维韦克·穆尔蒂(Vivek Murthy)博士在8月底发布的一份报告中称，养育孩子的父母尤其处于危险的压力水平之下。
An advisory issued Wednesday by Dr. Vivek Murthy, the nation’s doctor, said parents in particular are under dangerous levels of stress.
   
这份报告援引美国心理学会(American Psychological Association)的数据称，将近一半的父母都表示在大多数时候面临难以承受的压力，而在其他成年人当中，这一比例为26%。同时，报告援引的健康保险公司信诺(Cigna)的数据显示，为人父母者的孤独感也更强烈。在2021年的一项调查中，65%的父母表示他们感到孤独，而在没有孩子的成年人当中，这一比例为55%。
The report cites the American Psychological Association, saying nearly half of parents report overwhelming stress most days, compared with 26% of other adults. They’re lonelier, too, according to cited data from health insurer Cigna. In a 2021 survey, 65% of parents said they were lonely, compared with 55% of those without kids.
   
当我感叹终于有人看到了我的难处时，我想我说出了很多父母的心声。作为一名有三个孩子的职场妈妈，我感受到了压力。
I think I speak for a lot of parents when I say I feel seen. As a working mom of three, I feel the stress.
   
但谁没有这种感觉呢？老年人感到孤独和压力。单身男性感到孤独和压力。大学生感到孤独和压力。X世代妈妈也感到孤独和压力。正如穆尔蒂在前一份报告中所指出的那样，这个国家的人们普遍感到孤独和压力，这对我们的身心健康不利。
But who isn’t feeling that way? Elderly people are lonely and stressed. Single men are lonely and stressed. College students are lonely and stressed. Gen X moms are lonely and stressed. There’s an epidemic of loneliness and stress in this country and it’s bad for our mental and physical health, which Murthy pointed out in a previous advisory.
   
他的鲜明警告不一定有助于解决真正的问题。现在生孩子的人越来越少，有些人是因为不能生——有些人则是找不到能同时实现职业抱负和家庭理想的方法。像JD·万斯(JD Vance)这样的政治家直言不讳地强调为人父母的重要性，还有很多人认为这份工作是如此神圣，就连讨论生与不生都是一种亵渎。
His stark warning doesn’t necessarily help with the real problem. Fewer people are having children, some because they can’t—or can’t see a way to attain professional ambitions along with family ones. Politicians like JD Vance are outspoken on the primacy of parenthood, and lots of people feel the job is so sacred that it’s wrong to even talk about this.
   
穆尔蒂最近被誉为美国“第一位首席健康官”，他将心理健康作为其任期内的首要任务。但治疗方法往往比较笼统，不外乎戒烟或者服用降压药等等。他提出的一长串解决方案可能只会给父母和准父母带来更大的负担。
Murthy, recently dubbed America’s “first chief wellness officer,” has made mental health a priority of his office. But cures are often less concrete than, say, quitting smoking or getting on blood-pressure medication. And his laundry list of proposed solutions might just put even more burden on parents and parents-to-be.

无助又孤独

根据穆尔蒂的描述，为人父母者的孤独感比较独特，它来自于对另一个人所需承担的全部和唯一的责任。或许用无力感来形容它更加贴切。
Murthy describes parents’ loneliness as a unique kind that comes from being fully and solely responsible for another human being. Maybe powerless is a better way to describe it. 
   
47岁的穆尔蒂向我描述了他和妻子亲身感受过的这种无力感。
Murthy, age 47, described to me how he and his wife have felt that powerlessness firsthand.
    
多年前，当他们刚从波士顿搬到华盛顿哥伦比亚特区时，尚在襁褓中的幼子得了重感冒，呼吸困难。他其实知道该怎么做——用吸鼻器吸通宝宝的鼻子，打开所有沐浴花洒以保持室内湿度。但是，在一个陌生的城市里，他和妻子抱着生病的宝宝坐在那里，周围没有任何亲朋好友，他感到很无助，也很孤独。
Years ago, when they first relocated from Boston to Washington, D.C., their infant son had a bad cold and difficulty breathing. He knew what to do—suction the baby’s nose, turn on all the showers for humidity. But sitting there with his wife, holding a sick baby in a new town with no friends or family around, he felt helpless. And alone.


美国公共卫生局局长维韦克·穆尔蒂也是两个孩子的父亲，他说当今父母面临前几代人所没有的压力。

“为人父母后我真的开了眼界，不仅看到了这件事多么具有挑战性，还发现它意味着多么大的不确定性，”穆尔蒂说。
“Being a parent has really opened my eyes not only to how challenging it is, but to how uncertain it is,” Murthy says.
   
所以说，这就是我们现在的处境吗？繁衍人类这种行为本身……反而对人类有害？
So this is where we are? The very act of propagating the human race is bad for…the human race?
   
穆尔蒂并不是建议人们不要生育。“养育子女可以带来很多快乐和好处，”他说。“这些快乐和好处会和父母感受到的压力并存。”
Murthy isn’t suggesting people quit having children. “There are so many joys and benefits that can come with parenting,” he says. “They can coexist with the stress parents feel.”
   
相反，他是在呼吁任何有能力减轻父母负担的人——尤其是立法者和老板——采取行动。随着儿童照护成本的上升、工作时间的延长以及从校园枪击案到社交媒体的一系列新威胁的出现，这种负担变得越来越重。
Instead, he’s issuing a call to action for anyone—especially lawmakers and bosses—with the power to lessen the load on parents. That load has grown heavier with the rising cost of child care, longer working hours and new threats, from school shootings to social media. 
   
穆尔蒂给出的解决方案是：一方面由相关机构采取一系列行动，比如养育子女获得所得税抵免以及工作场所管理培训，另一方面配合个人行动，比如尝试进行更多正念和自我保健。
Murthy prescribes a mix of institutional actions such as child income-tax credits and workplace management training on one hand, and individual action such as seeking more mindfulness and self-care on the other.

养育孩子被视为一项个人运动

几乎每一个准备生孩子的人都知道这是一项艰巨的工作，但直到他们真正身处其中才能完全体会个中滋味。不过，养育子女这件事为何会变得如此艰难，以至于公共卫生局局长都不得不为此发布一份咨询报告？
Almost everyone who signs up to have kids knows it’s a hard job, even if they don’t fully grasp that until they’re in it. Still, how did parenting become so tough that the surgeon general felt compelled to issue an advisory?
   
“不知为何，随着时间的推移，我们开始将养育子女视为一项个人运动而非团队运动，”穆尔蒂对我说。“为人父母者需要来自家人、朋友和邻居的支持。”
“Somehow, over time, we came to see parenting as an individual sport, not as a team sport,” Murthy told me. “Parents need the support of family members, friends and neighbors.”
   
他说，虽然前几代人也面临忧虑和经济压力，但如今的父母有新的问题需要担心。
While previous generations have also faced worries and financial stressors, parents now have new things to worry about, he says.
   
穆尔蒂说：“当代父母正努力应对的新问题包括如何控制社交媒体的危害、如何应对社区中的枪支暴力和青少年的心理健康危机，这些棘手问题应该成为当务之急。”
“Struggles like how to manage the harms of social media, how to deal with gun violence in communities and the youth mental-health crisis are newer issues that the current generation of parents are dealing with and they need to be a priority,” Murthy says.

数字时代的危险因素

考虑到如今的孩子大把的时间花在网络上，父母的职责已经超出了物理界线。作为父母，我们的确可以让住在附近的祖父母帮忙照顾孩子，或者当孩子骑车溜达（如果他们还愿意出门骑车）时请邻居照看一二，但这些是远远不够的。
With kids spending so much time online, parental duties extend beyond any physical boundary. It isn’t enough to have grandparents nearby to babysit or neighbors to keep an eye on kids as they ride around on bikes (if they ever do).
  
即使是警惕性最强的父母也无法了解孩子在网上所见和所做的一切。科技公司必须提高其平台的安全性，因为我们现在都知道了，家长控制功能根本不管用。更不要说，现在又出现了性勒索和人工智能生成的裸照。立法者已经提出了保护青少年免受网络伤害的法案。
Even the most vigilant parents can’t keep up with everything kids see and do online. Tech companies need to make their platforms safer, because we all know by now that parental controls don’t work. And that’s before we get to the sextortion scams and AI-generated nudes. Legislators have proposed laws to protect teens from online harm.
  
不受限制的互联网访问和网上欺凌导致青少年焦虑现象激增。穆尔蒂将这种青少年心理健康危机称为定义了我们这个时代的公共卫生挑战，并于去年发布了一份关于社交媒体对青少年影响的报告。
Unrestricted internet access and online bullying have contributed to a spike in adolescent anxiety. Murthy has described the youth mental-health crisis as the defining public-health challenge of our time, last year issuing an advisory on social media’s effects on adolescents.
  
在最新的报告中，他援引了皮尤研究中心(Pew Research)的数据。这些数据显示，青少年的父母担心社交媒体的危害并感觉无力应对。
In his latest advisory, he cites Pew Research data showing that parents of adolescents are worried about social media’s harms and feel ill equipped to manage it.
   
又是这该死的无力感。我们不知道要如何帮助孩子适当地在网络世界遨游，因为我们自己并不是在这种环境中长大的。
Again, powerlessness. We don’t know how to help our kids navigate an online world in which we ourselves didn’t grow up.

压力会传染

如果父母压力山大，孩子也不会好。穆尔蒂提到，研究表明，如果父母的心理健康状况不佳，他们的孩子也更有可能出现抑郁和焦虑以及行为和学业问题。
When parents aren’t OK, kids suffer. Murthy mentioned studies showing that children of parents with poor mental health are more likely to have depression and anxiety as well as behavioral and academic problems.

那么现在怎么办？

穆尔蒂列出了政府机构、雇主和医疗保健专业人员可以采取哪些措施来支持父母。他希望政府推行一个全国性的带薪家庭假和病假计划。他建议扩大对在职父母的支持计划——比如对雇主进行培训，帮助其识别压力迹象。他希望儿科医生为那些带孩子前来就诊的父母进行更多的心理健康筛查。
Murthy lists things government agencies, employers and healthcare professionals can do to support parents. He wants a national paid family and medical leave program. He recommends expanded programs to support parents in the workplace—such as training employers to recognize signs of stress. He wants pediatricians to provide more mental-health screenings for parents when they bring in their kids.
他说，在等待这些机构发挥其作用（如果它们真的采取行动的话）的同时，父母需要建立和发展由朋友、邻居和亲人组成的他们自己的支持网络。
And while we wait for those institutions to do their part—if they ever do—he says parents need to build and nurture their own support network of friends, neighbors and relatives.
老实说，这听起来更有压力了。
Honestly, that sounds like more stress.