Tag Archive | torment

Prevent Domestic Violence ~ Power Punch Words by Kendra Lynn

This is the only way I feel I can properly thank Kendra for writing such an amazing piece.

As exciting as it is for those of us who have been a victim of Domestic Violence to see the PSA commercials air on television or actors/actresses and public figures speak up about their own stories or use their fame in ads to say this behavior will no longer be tolerated – we’re left wondering… What happens when the camera is no longer rolling? Is the thrill gone? That rush of thinking – this is it – this topic is now mainstream – is kind of lackluster.

I’ve said it numerous times before, the fact that there are so many women sharing their Domestic Violence story truly amazes me. From those who have made it out and those who are still in, the numbers and stories are staggering. And as she discusses, the word courageous gets thrown around a lot. Courageous for enduring it, escaping it, and speaking about it. The real courage is surviving the aftermath once you’re out.

Kendra describes her own feelings about the approach Hollywood has taken, as well as her brush with the judicial system in her own battle with her abusive ex. And damn, if it doesn’t strike a chord. Although she is out of her relationship for 5 years and I’m on my way out – every word she writes I can feel deeply and agree with wholeheartedly. There is something about being in this “club” that unites us in a way no one should be united. I don’t want to know how it feels to be beaten but it’s too late for that. The deed is done. Now all I want is to know is how the hell are we going to stop it from happening to my sister…or your daughter…or your best friend?

Here’s what Kendra Lynn has to say about it:

Hush.

Now the Public Service Announcement (PSA) commercials on domestic violence (DV) have gone silent.

The award show has ended and most people no longer think about the speech against domestic abuse. Janay Palmer-Rice and Patricia Driscoll (Kurt Busch’s ex-girlfriend) are silent. There’s still no word on the progress of either Ray Rice or Kurt Busch.

What stays the same? The statistics of DV do:

A woman is beaten every 9 seconds in the U.S.
1 in 4 women are victims of domestic violence.
3 women in the U.S. are murdered by their partner every day.
15 million children are exposed to domestic violence each year.
The median age for a female to become exposed to an abusive relationship is between 18 – 29.

Real numbers gathered every year by the National Task Force to End Sexual and Domestic Violence.

Nice to know there’s at least a task force.

While social media and Hollywood are great ways to reach a multitude of people, I fear the message is lost. I fear the actresses speaking out against domestic violence aren’t taken seriously because they typically portray a fantasy. In the mind of the median aged target group (females between the ages of 18 – 29), the actress is a glamorous fantasy. Why are the statistics remaining the same? Perhaps because we have unknowingly glamourized the idea of being a survivor of this terrible thing.

If you look at the family history of any domestic abuse survivor, you will find a family tree riddled with various forms of dysfunctional family dynamics and abuse. The 18 year old female precariously hanging from this thin limb sees the notoriety; the center stage presence of the actress courageously speaking out against domestic abuse. A low self-esteem and poor outlook on her future – the young victim of domestic violence perhaps sees only the glory in the story. The roaring applause at an award show and the gleaming lights and the perfectly coiffured actress; a chance for a survivor to be honorably mentioned in front of millions of people. I fear the stage lights are blinding the crux of the words and message of the actresses providing the speeches to end DV.

We all know the reality of any one survivor telling her story on center stage is rare. The real survivors of domestic abuse are sitting at home – still too afraid to speak out and up against domestic violence because of the stigma, the shame, the horror, and the hell that still echoes in our mind. The real survivors speak of our story with a catch in our throat, stuttering words, and tears that spill of their own volition as the story hits the core of our soul.

I am a survivor of DV of almost 5 years and I still cry at odd times while telling my story to those who genuinely care to know. I’ll tell you right now, being a survivor is not glamorous in any sense of rational thinking. It’s taken me nearly all my time of being a survivor to *not* look at all men as abusers.

I remember insomnia clutching my hand with a fearful grip. I remember going through motions; pretending to have it all together but inside feeling like an absolute failure. I remember the heavy sledge hammer memories invoking my first real symptoms of PTSD. I remember finding my voice – a voice that growled and screamed and yelled and cussed vehemently for the simple joy of being able to finally do so (but inadvertently pushing people away).

I remember the cringe I felt when someone hugged me for the first time after leaving my abuser; the foreign feeling that surrounded me in waves of nausea. It’s taken me nearly 5 years to finally learn to love myself and forgive myself for my past choices.

I become silent when someone calls me courageous. It’s at that exact moment I hear my screeching hell hounds – remembering as they chased me during my escape from my hell. I think of the countless victims too afraid and beaten down to leave their abusive partner. To me, that is the heart of every survivor of DV. We don’t categorize ourselves as courageous. We learned very early that labels have a not so funny way of causing a deep bruise. We are our own existence – renaming ourselves outside of our riddled and decaying family tree and relational history. Glamorous? Honey, it’s far from it. It’s its own hell being a survivor.

So what’s my point? Hollywood needs to stop its current form of PSA against domestic violence. It’s not working. The world needs to see more real survivors speaking out against it. The world needs to see a petite girl being punched in the face. The world needs to see real blood, real bruises, real tears, and real fear. It needs to be a power-packed PSA that rocks the core of everyone daring to watch. If I’m going to see a commercial about ending domestic abuse, I need to see a real survivor – someone I and every other survivor can relate to.

Birds of a feather flock together and more survivors will speak up. Everyone watching such a commercial should have tears rolling down their cheeks – much the same thing that happens whenever I decide to speak the harsh truth of my story to someone that wants to really know. The voice of a survivor is a hushed, cracking voice welling up in tears that the listener has to lean into to hear clearly. She’s not dressed up in her finery standing proud. Her voice continues to tell her story but she winces, thinking of any backlash that might occur in doing so. When the world can read past her shame and feel her fear maybe we will begin to make progress in ending domestic violence and Hollywood will become a strategic partner in this fight.

It’s worth your time – please continue to read the rest of her article here: Prevent Domestic Violence ~ Power Punch Words by Kendra Lynn | VoElla

Follow Kendra on Blogspot & Twitter

Infinity House Magazine Interview – Part 2 of 3

Feb4

“We believe your story has the opportunity of inspiring our readers and even us here…”

In the beginning, there was no way I would have believed anyone if they said that by telling my story I’d be helping others who may be or may have been in the same predicament as I was. I could not comprehend how that would make sense, especially since I am still here. I remember the first time someone said to me that…my story inspired her. I thought to myself, HOW? WHY? I DON’T GET IT. On some level, I still don’t.

Then I think about all of the people who have reached out to me. Everyone’s kind words, advice, and words of encouragement (even the few negative comments), have made a lasting impression. All of the stories I’ve read, the stories shared with me about how they left, every word… has touched me in some way. Men who have told me their stores of verbal and physical abuse have left me speechless.

If telling my story has done that for one person, then I guess it was well worth it. I didn’t know the effect any of this would have on me but now that I do, I would never trade that feeling.

The Real Reasons I Stay

Many people on reading … would have asked the same thing: why doesn’t she just leave? Here we explore … exactly why it isn’t that easy…

http://infinityhousemagazine.com/2015/02/04/why-i-stay/

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

Infinity House Magazine Interview – Part 1 of 3

Feb3

“Your story is absolutely incredible…we would love the opportunity to interview you.”

My brain’s response was – Interview who? ME? Are these people for real? Is this SPAM? Why me? I’m not sure I read that correctly.

Well, it wasn’t SPAM and apparently, they are for real. The kind people at Infinity House Magazine took the time to read my story and felt that I had something to offer. Although my story has been discussed thoroughly on this blog, there is something about a Q & A session to really see it from an entirely different perspective. It’s the same and somehow different.

Upon reading the first installment, I was taken aback as if I was reading another woman’s story. It was brutally honest and sad on so many different levels. I was able to see the naivety of my youth fall victim to this unexpected den of abuse.

Real Account of Living With Domestic Violence

Battered Wife Seeking Better Life explains what led her in to a domestically violent relationship and exactly what it’s like. A heartbreaking story but a must read.

http://infinityhousemagazine.com/2015/02/03/domestic-violence-real-account/

Infinity House Magazine - Part 1

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 28

Oct28

He Never Hit Me

Warning: This post contains descriptions of intimate partner abuse and may be triggering to some.

How many times did I find myself on his bathroom floor cowering beneath him, feeling the hot spit land on me as he screamed? Stop crying like a baby. You’re crazy. No one else would put up with you. How many times did I shudder on that floor counting my breaths, bringing myself back from the brink of suffocation during a panic attack that was triggered by one of these maniacal and regular assaults? But he never hit me.

How many hours did I remain on that bathroom floor after he had gone to bed, my eyes red with burst blood vessels? How many times did I hear the sound of his snores and realize he had fallen asleep, no more than a meter away, to the sound of me hyperventilating while still in the throes of that panic attack? How many times did I whisper aloud, “How did I get here? How did I become this woman?” How many times did I tell myself to get up, call a cab and walk out the front door? How many times did I get up and look in that mirror and fail to recognize myself? How much hate could I have for the broken woman staring back at me? But he never hit me.

How many times did I crawl into that bed, rather than into a cab, and wake up with his arms around me, telling me that I brought it out in him? He wasn’t like this. I made him like this. I needed to change the way I approached him about these things. Be less accusatory. If I just softened my approach, it would allow him to react differently. How many times did I adjust my approach before I realized the only way to avoid the abuse was not to bring it up at all? But he never hit me.

How many emails and text messages did I find? How many parties did we attend knowing that one of the women was there? I learned quickly not to address it so that “I” wouldn’t ruin a perfectly nice evening. When his family member asked me if a lipstick she had found under the couch was mine, I threw it away and said nothing more of it. Neither did she. Another humiliation taken in silence. But he never hit me.

How many times did he tell me he was going to sleep, out for dinner with a client, couldn’t hear his phone, but actually taking out another woman? How many times did he ignore my calls and call the next morning telling me nothing had happened? It was sadistic. I could see how much he enjoyed being that powerful. How many defamatory lies did he concoct and propagate to my old colleagues and friends when I walked away from him? How many times did he smear my reputation? How many times did I go back, believing every promise that he was a new man, believing every half-hearted apology? But he never hit me.

How many times did a friend pick me up because he had kicked me out of bed in the middle of the night for questioning him about one of the women? How many times did I go back before those friends had had enough. How many times did I defend him and justify his behavior when I told a friend about what he had done? When did I stop telling anyone altogether to avoid the shame of the insanity of the circumstances I was somehow in — the shame of being a strong independent woman who couldn’t take care of herself enough to leave a situation that was so toxic? When did I stop expecting more? But he never hit me.

How could I explain to someone that I believed it was partly my fault, even though I was embarrassed to hear those beaten woman’s words spoken from my lips. No one really understood. No one knew him like I did. It was my job to protect him from the truth of what he did to me. I couldn’t let them think he was a monster. I wouldn’t tell anyone. I was entirely alone. But he never hit me.

My solitude meant that I could no longer see the reflection in other people’s eyes indicating what was normal. I could only see the reflection in his eyes and began to believe what he told me about myself. I began to believe his irrational explanations despite my own heart and eyes. I let him define reality. I became isolated. It became easier to cut off my support networks completely than to have to lie about everything. Than to face the humiliation of my reality. A part of me knew that once they knew the extent of what was happening, they would force me to get out for good. I wouldn’t be able to go back. I knew I would always need to even in the worst of times. But he never hit me.

I set a benchmark. The red line I wouldn’t cross. The minute he hit me, I would leave. But the truth is, I know I wouldn’t have left then either. I would have rationalized that in hitting me, he would realize how out of hand things were. Everything would change now. I wouldn’t have left. By hurting me, he showed me he loved me. He cared enough to go that crazy. He cared so much that he was overwhelmed by anger or jealousy or sadness and simply couldn’t control himself.

When it was over, I wasn’t permitted to mourn him. No one could understand how love, hate, fear and comfort could coexist simultaneously. They could not understand that in addition to my abuser, I also lost my confidant, the person to make dinner with, the person to watch movies with on a rainy Sunday, the person to laugh with, the person who knew me. I lost my companion. How can you explain to someone that the abuse was only a part of who he was? How do you explain that to yourself?

There are still days when I remember tender moments and wonder if it really was that bad. I still struggle with reconciling how he could love me to the point of tears and yet hurt me as if I was an enemy. Like a child, I’m learning to redefine the borders of normal behavior and to realign my expectations. I remind myself that acts of violence can never be acts of love.

For the first time, I see my own reflection in other women who have emerged from the depths of such darkness. Indescribably courageous women whom I have never met, but who have shared their stories and in doing so, saved me. These women embraced me with their pain and unknowingly convinced me that I was not alone, that I am worthy of more. I hadn’t believed that singular truth in a very long time.

Knowing that others were there has allowed the shame to dissipate. I used to default to the trained belief that I was crazy, overly sensitive or had imagined it all because I could not reconcile the love and the abuse. I have permitted myself to accept that both existed. Their stories have allowed me to forgive myself. To recognize how arbitrary that red line was. Seeing myself in their eyes has allowed me to name my abuser. To name my experience as an abused woman. And then to let go.

I pray now that my words will travel to the broken woman staring back at them and embrace her. I hope they equip her with the strength and love she needs to raise herself from the depths.

Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for the National Domestic Violence Hotline or visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline operated byRAINN. For more resources, visit the National Sexual Violence Resource Center’s website.

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What is Emotional/Verbal Abuse?

Emotional abuse includes non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring or “checking in,” excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.

There are many behaviors that qualify as emotional or verbal abuse:

Calling you names and putting you down.
Yelling and screaming at you.
Intentionally embarrassing you in public.
Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family.
Telling you what to do and wear.
Using online communities or cell phones to control, intimidate or humiliate you.
Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior.
Stalking you.
Threatening to commit suicide to keep you from breaking up with them.
Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about.
Making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity.
Threatening to expose your secrets such as your sexual orientation or immigration status.
Starting rumors about you.
Threatening to have your children taken away.

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Article Source: Huffington Post

Follow the author on Twitter @reutamit

Fact Source: Love Is Respect

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 16

Oct16

The Silent Abuser
Not all emotional abuse involves shouting or criticism. More common forms are “disengaging” – the distracted or preoccupied spouse – or “stonewalling” – the spouse who refuses to accept anyone else’s perspective.

While verbal abuse and other forms of emotional abuse can be roughly equal between men and women, stonewallers are almost exclusively male. Biology and social conditioning make it is easier for men to turn off emotions. The corpus callosum – the part of the brain that connects its two hemispheres is smaller in men, making it easier for them to shut out information from the emotionally-oriented right hemisphere. On top of that slight biological difference, social conditioning promotes the analytical, unemotional male on the one hand or the strong silent type on the other.

The partner who stonewalls may not overtly put you down. Nevertheless, he punishes you for disagreeing with him by refusing even to think about your perspective. If he listens at all, he does so dismissively or impatiently.

The disengaging husband says, “Do whatever you want, just leave me alone.” He is often a workaholic, couch potato, womanizer, or obsessive about sports or some other activity. He tries to deal with his inadequacy about relationships by simply by not trying – no attempt means no failure.

Harmful Adaptations to Anger and Abuse: Walking on Eggshells
The most insidious aspect of abuse is not the obvious nervous reactions to shouting, name-calling, criticism or other demeaning behavior. It’s the adaptations you make to try to prevent those painful episodes. You walk on eggshells to keep the peace or a semblance of connection.

Women are especially vulnerable to the negative effects of walking on eggshells due to their greater vulnerability to anxiety. Many brave women engage in constant self-editing and self-criticism to keep from “pushing his buttons.” Emotionally abused women can second guess themselves so much that they feel as though they have lost themselves in a deep hole.

Recovery from walking on eggshells requires removing focus from repair of your relationship and your partner and placing it squarely on your personal healing. The good news is that the most powerful form of healing comes from within you. You can draw on your great inner resources by reintegrating your deepest values into your everyday sense of self. This will make you feel more valuable, confident, and powerful, regardless of what your partner does.

FACT: When it comes to the more severe forms of destructiveness, purely emotional abuse is usually more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. There are a couple of reasons for this. Even in the most violent families, the incidents tend to be cyclical. Early in the abuse cycle, a violent outburst is followed by a honeymoon period of remorse, attention, affection, and generosity, but not genuine compassion. (The honeymoon stage eventually ends, as the victim begins to say, “Never mind the damn flowers, just stop hitting me!”) Emotional abuse, on the other hand, tends to happen every day. So the effects are more harmful because they’re so frequent.

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Fact Source: Compassion Power

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 10

Oct10

Jealousy was the very first trait of abuse I was exposed to by my abuser. It was severe and I didn’t understand why at the time. I’ve always been more comfortable around men. I think I get along better with men because I can be myself, as women seem to be much more judgmental and catty. During my teenage years, I had a different type of attention from the guys. They didn’t all just – want to be “friends”. So it goes without saying that it was hard for me to maneuver through those years, that are difficult enough trying to figure out who you are as a person, and then on top of that trying to ward off people who only wanted one thing.

Luckily, I had a group of guys I could rely on for friendship. Whether they felt a certain way or not, it was not discussed, and these friendships remained intact from grade school through high school – that is until I ended up with Mr. Jealousy. After that, most friendships ended (male & female) and everyone was suspect. Some guys gave a peck on the cheek hello which made him furious, and he demanded it stop. Hanging out also stopped. It was no longer necessary being as my time was now to be exclusive to one person. As the years went on, any man I spoke to, whether it be at work or at a supermarket, gave way to me being questioned. Did I ever date them? Did I ever sleep with them? Am I currently sleeping with them? The barrage of questions was never ending. And no answer was believed.

Be warned…what may start off as cute “aw, he’s jealous” will without a doubt turn into a psychotic unrelenting abnormal hail of bullshit.

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Fact Source: Beauty Cares

Follow them on Twitter.

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 9

Oct9

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 6

Oct6

When you hear the phrase Domestic Violence, what imagery does your mind bring forward? Is it of a woman’s bruised face? Maybe you can picture a man screaming at his wife or girlfriend. If you are a woman who has been a victim of physical violence, you probably envision a man doing bodily harm to a woman. All of these portrayals are valid. All of them represent the physical brutality that we have come to know – either by depiction on television or in the movies or even in our own lives.

However, there is another viewpoint. It’s not one that I can readily connect with because I’m not familiar with it. And for that reason, my blog is very one-sided because it is taken from my own perspective and my own life. I do not intentionally post things to dismiss the other angle, which is a very real part of the Domestic Violence epidemic. As a woman, there is a shame that hovers over us that is part of what keeps us from stepping forward and admitting our circumstance. That shame is tenfold for a man because human nature has taught us that a (good) man is the head of the family…the protector of the family. And especially because this topic is almost never covered on the news or anywhere else, we can’t fathom that it’s true or that the man involved couldn’t just get up and walk away because…well, he’s a man.

FACT: Male victims of emotional abuse may experience partners that:

Yell and scream
Threaten them and try to induce fear
Insult and demean them; tell them they are not worth the trouble
Socially isolate them
Lie or withhold information
Treat them like a child or servant
Control all the finances

When Women Emotionally Abuse Men

Some believe that men are more sensitive to emotional abuse than a woman and can “brush off” physical abuse more easily.
Male victims of emotional abuse who are called a “coward,” “impotent,” or a “failure,” may be more affected by these remarks than their female counterparts.

Some people may scoff at Domestic Violence being perpetrated against men, however, just as there is for women a large umbrella under which there are numerous types of abuse, it is the same for a man. It’s not always physical. There is verbal and emotional abuse towards men as well as sexual assault. Just because violence against men is not the normal visual doesn’t mean it is non-existent.

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Fact Source: Suffer In Silence

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 5

Oct5

Soon after we started dating, once he was through with the lovey dovey – I can’t live without you and you’re the only one for me – honeymoon phase, he would always be very loud and verbally abusive in public. I hated going anywhere with him because something would always happen that would cause him to make a scene. I had two ways of coping with this. I either acted like he was telling me a story about someone else and I’d have a lighthearted grin and make faces of shock and dismay as if I couldn’t believe what he was telling me or I would act just as pissed off about whatever “story” he was screaming at me. This way anyone that may be passing and caught only a tiny bit of what he was saying would think he was just a loud talker.

One day, in the very beginning, I accompanied him to a doctor’s appointment and as we arrived – either because we were late or just because I was breathing – he was screaming all kinds of things at me. As I walked past this older woman, clearly in her 60’s or older, she turned to me and said, “Honey, you better get away from him while you still can. Trust me, he is never going to change.” He heard what she said and yelled at her to mind her business.

I had to only be about 17 or 18 when this happened and I have never forgotten her or her words. He even remembers her. I brought her up once a few years ago … “I should have listened to that woman.” Of course, he had some stupid comment but he knew exactly who I was talking about.

She was right. And she was the only one who ever approached us during an argument. A little old woman.

FACT: What is dating violence?

Teen dating violence [PDF 187KB] is defined as the physical, sexual, or psychological/emotional violence within a dating relationship, as well as stalking. It can occur in person or electronically and may occur between a current or former dating partner. You may have heard several different words used to describe teen dating violence. Here are just a few:

Relationship Abuse
Intimate Partner Violence
Relationship Violence
Dating Abuse
Domestic Abuse
Domestic Violence

Adolescents and adults are often unaware that teens experience dating violence. In a nationwide survey, 9.4 percent of high school students report being hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by their boyfriend or girlfriend in the 12 months prior to the survey. (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Survey). About 1 in 5 women and nearly 1 in 7 men who ever experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner, first experienced some form of partner violence between 11 and 17 years of age (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey).

Today I decided to post a couple of videos.

I’m not sure if these will cause any triggers for anyone. They both are based on after the violence. One showing how bruises pop up one after the other and the other shows in a non-chalant kind of way how to cover up bruises.

It rarely stops:

How to cover up bruises:

Luckily, I never had to cover up facial bruises. Not to say my face was never bruised but it was such a minimal amount of times that I can barely remember what I did about them. It was quite possibly after I was working from home so I didn’t have to worry about going to work and people seeing my face. Somehow, he always possessed enough sense to get me where no one could see. The only thing to come of that is people have asked on occasion why I’d be wearing a jacket or long sleeves during the summer.

As usual…I had an excuse ready.

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Fact Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.

31 Facts in 31 Days – Day 4

Oct4

In a follow-up from yesterday’s post regarding PTSD and how I always think of it as a an issue that affects soldiers, I came across this information which is not directly relating to PTSD but the comparisons between soldiers and woman who suffer from domestic violence is a real eye opener.

FACT: Compare the number of American troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq (6,612) to the number of women killed during the same period in the United States as the result of domestic violence (11,766). Almost twice as many women died at the hands of men who supposedly loved them as did American soldiers on battlefields.

Here are some other chilling domestic violence statistics:

● 30 percent of the female homicides in our country are committed by the victim’s intimate partner.

● The number one cause of death during pregnancy in the United States is homicide.

● The likelihood that a woman will die a violent death is increased by 270 percent if there is a gun in her home.

● Two in three women killed by their intimate partners were shot with guns kept in their home by their partners.

Yes, there is a gun in my house. It is in a locked box that only he has the combination to. The box is in a place that I can see on a daily basis. Yes, he has taken it out and held it against me while violently threatening me. This has happened maybe only five times in twenty-five years. And yes, I know — it’s still five times more than it should have ever been.

My fear of a violent death has always been related to me leaving than it has been to me staying. In those moments when he’d hold the gun and threaten me, I’d play mind games – almost daringly saying – go ahead. Usually, I’m sitting in a chair or on the sofa when threats are flying. When it comes to a gun or knife I would fix myself up as I’d be sitting there (as in this will be the way I’m found) and then I’d sit with my hands folded and close my eyes. When we’d be in the heat of a battle and he’d go crazy looking for a belt or wire or something else to hit me with – when I knew it was inevitable – I’d give him skin. Like if I’m wearing a tank with a sweatshirt on top, I’d remove the sweatshirt or if I was wearing jeans I’d take them off or (when able to) change into shorts or pajama pants – basically something of thinner material.

Believe me, I’m well aware that this sounds just as crazy as his preparing to injure me but for some reason it would always stop him in his tracks. He knew exactly what I was doing. Even if he didn’t intend to stab or shoot or strike but just needed a weapon in his hand for intimidation, for what ever reason, me acting like I was prepared for what he was about to do – stopped him. I’m not exactly sure what this bizarre phenomenon is but, for me, in my situation, it worked almost every time. This is where ‘keep your enemies closer’, comes in to play. If I were to have run, especially in the early days when the situation was 10x more intense then it is now, I would never have been able to talk or act my way out of being a victim to his crime.

After years of studying him in his natural habitat, I trust I can walk away unscathed. I’m not going to lie, I am still ridiculously scared to go through with leaving but the time is getting near and I’m more ready than I’ve ever been.

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Fact Source: Huffington Post

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To read from the beginning… #MyStory starts here.