Honor, Courtesy, Gentility

Guest post by Suzann Darnall

I feel that honor, courtesy, and gentility are about to come back in style in Washington, DC. At least with some of the newcomers and some of those who have always been class acts. I am afraid there may be no hope for some of the old guard hangers-on who are seemingly so filled with vitriol that they cannot make a change for the better.

Anyone who doubts that Donald Trump is ultimately a gentleman with great respect for ladies, need only watch his interactions with his wife, Melania. He treats her with honor and courtesy. While he is sometimes the hard-nosed businessman, he displays a much more genteel side when he is around her. He shows this same attitude with his daughter, Ivanka. In fact, you will find he treats ladies with great respect . . . when they treat him with the same.

Is he perhaps a little less respectful of women who come at him with their claws out? Of course! Aren’t we all on the defense when an attack is launched our way? I am actually okay with a man defending himself from being denigrated unfairly. I am tired of the un-manly men that are being foisted on us in the name of political correctness. I am looking forward to having a president who has a man card and not a man bun.

I want a president who is man enough hold his own against Putin in negotiations, but also gentleman enough to hold his wife’s hand to escort her at an official function. So far I am seeing Donald Trump display his ability to do both.

I admit that I am an old-fashioned Southern girl. I like my men to have a little of Ashley Wilkes, a lot of Rhett Butler, and a touch of Bubba Redneck thrown in to add some spice and fun. While Donald Trump may be all New York, he seems to have a good mix of the qualities that I think will make him a great leader. He apparently has common sense, common decency, and common courtesy.

I believe he will deal honorably with our allies and our enemies, but it will definitely be a walk softly, carry a big stick kind of diplomacy. I think he will show courtesy to those he deals with, but he will smack them down if an iron fist is required within the velvet glove. And, I am quite sure he and his family will bring gracious gentility back to our official functions. Proper attire, proper presentations, and proper respect.

‘Cause you see, I am an old-fashioned Southern girl about these things, too. Hosts and guests have duties to one another. I like to see good manners on display. While the White House will be the Trumps’ home, it is also the People’s House. They will be the occupants and also our guests. They owe us the courtesy of treating it with respect and making us proud to have them live there. Something that has been sadly missing for the past eight years!

Sayonara,
Suzann
http://www.suziezoo.com
http://www.woolymammoth.org

Is honor a thing of the past?

Tom Knighton writes,

Once people stopped holding their honor as sacred, the world began a nasty descent into what it has become today. Men and women both view relationships, even marriage, as temporary arrangements and get married only for tax benefits or to be on one another’s insurance, nothing more. So-called “protestors” initiate violence regularly. Alleged leaders defend a would-be killer and excoriate the police officer who ended the threat.

Honor, for most people, is a thing of the past.

Read more here.

Competing for status as victims or as defenders of victims.

Jonathan Haidt writes at righteousmind.com,

I just read the most extraordinary paper by two sociologists — Bradley Campbell and Jason Manning — explaining why concerns about microaggressions have erupted on many American college campuses in just the past few years. In brief: We’re beginning a second transition of moral cultures. The first major transition happened in the 18th and 19th centuries when most Western societies moved away from cultures of honor (where people must earn honor and must therefore avenge insults on their own) to cultures of dignity in which people are assumed to have dignity and don’t need to earn it. They foreswear violence, turn to courts or administrative bodies to respond to major transgressions, and for minor transgressions they either ignore them or attempt to resolve them by social means. There’s no more dueling.

Campbell and Manning describe how this culture of dignity is now giving way to a new culture of victimhood in which people are encouraged to respond to even the slightest unintentional offense, as in an honor culture. But they must not obtain redress on their own; they must appeal for help to powerful others or administrative bodies, to whom they must make the case that they have been victimized. It is the very presence of such administrative bodies, within a culture that is highly egalitarian and diverse (i.e., many college campuses) that gives rise to intense efforts to identify oneself as a fragile and aggrieved victim.

...as progress is made toward a more equal and humane society, it takes a smaller and smaller offense to trigger a high level of outrage. The goalposts shift, allowing participants to maintain a constant level of anger and constant level of perceived victimization.

...Some colleges have lowered the bar so far that an innocent question, motivated by curiosity, such as “where are you from” is now branded as an act of aggression.

...[This is the great tragedy: the culture of victimization rewards people for taking on a personal identity as one who is damaged, weak, and aggrieved. This is a recipe for failure — and constant litigation — after students graduate from college and attempt to enter the workforce]

...Because of their belief in the value of personal bravery and capability, people socialized into a culture of honor will often shun reliance on law or any other authority even when it is available, refusing to lower their standing by depending on another to handle their affairs (Cooney 1998:122–129). But historically, as state authority has expanded and reliance on the law has increased, honor culture has given way to something else: a culture of dignity. [p. 712-713]

...The prevailing culture in the modern West is one whose moral code is nearly the exact opposite of that of an honor culture. Rather than honor, a status based primarily on public opinion, people are said to have dignity, a kind of inherent worth that cannot be alienated by others (Berger 1970; see also Leung and Cohen 2011).

...We can expect political polarization to get steadily worse in the coming decades as this moral culture of victimhood spreads.

Read more here.