Wet firework.

Well, razzmatazz it ain't.

The latest series of Big Brother is a complete damp squib. We're just a few days in and.... I've already lost the will to view.

The episode tonight was embarrassingly bad.

I've even lost the will to write down or explore all the failings of the current show.

You've been saved from a real diatribe then!!

I've resorted to downloading a whole heap of Clint Eastwood films to keep me company through the dark hours where I'd normally be watching the Big Brother live feed and making my own mind up about what's really going on in the house.

I suppose I should be paying more attention to the local elections and the European elections......

.... or maybe not!?

Send three and fourpence.....

... we're going to a dance!!

Bloody hell it's cold in my house without a boiler. Corned beef legs and sore throats are the result of sitting too near the dreadful gas fire that I am reliant upon.

On the plus side, my uncle (the cavalry) arrives tomorrow lunchtime to remedy any number of "household maintenance" items.

By my reckoning, today is Saint Andrew's day - To any Scots that know me, don't get too drunk the neet!! Enjoy your "new" bank holiday tomorrow - NB: We still don't have a Saint George's day bank holiday in England!!

I've watched a lot of films lately...... Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium; Kung Fu Panda; Indiana Jones; Prince Caspian; Iron Man, to name just a few that currently reside in my "rewriteable" dvd collection!?! I totally loved Kung Fu Panda - Didn't expect to, but it contains some great kung fu elements and serves as a great tribute/homage to some films I have loved over the years.



A weekend of dog-sitting culminated in an early Sunday morning frosty walk around Pighill Wood - A place I love. I take this same picture from below Nettleton Hill in all manner of weather and all times of day just because it's a good view across to Castle Hill. What you get here is (fore to back) Golcar, Milnsbridge, Crosland Moor, Newsome, Hall Bower, Castle Hill - All in one go...

If I could only learn to hold the camera horizontal.

Get well soon Dawn X.

Well I never....

I never thought I would see the day when I saw the literal translation of fireworks being a case of money going up in smoke.

Tonight was bonfire night, and we generally send a lot of money into the sky amid oohs and aahs and smoke and fire. Today was so foggy that anything that flew more than a few feet above the ground was lost in the grime. Anything that stayed less than a few feet above the ground was generally lost in a cloud of fog and choking smoke.

Rockets? A total waste of time tonight.

We went to the Jack O' Mitre's annual bonfire and firework display. It's a well attended event and usually it's accompanied by horizontal rain and force nine gales. It was just foggy tonight and a bit cold.



What IS predictable about this photo is a long exposure with kids playing with sparklers. What may not be so obvious about this photo is the instruction.... Me to kids: "right make some big shapes" - taking photo - looking at photo - laughing at photo - One of them makes big circles..... and bloody loads of them..... the other?? Random!! Two opposites. One structured and active.... the other random and wild. Two very different interpretations of the same instruction.

Fogging hell.

I've (quite rightly) spent the day at home behind closed doors keeping out of the dank.

A day when the fog came down and it never went back up. A day when the bare branches of newly shorn trees dripped relentlessly. Muffled sights and deadened sounds sucked up into piles of leaves in the gutters.

Getting ready for the fire service's most busy night of the year!!



Landscape two - Looking into Llyn Llydaw - crystal clear, freezing cold, sunshine on water. Halfway up Yr Wyddfa (Snowdon to me and you!!)

Fogday.

I vote that we rename this day of the week to reflect the weather we seem to have inherited!!

And so it came to pass that on Fogday, the fox rested.

Here are a bunch of searches, which are just an excuse for me not to write about my trip to Hull yesterday.... which I will now write about in another blog entry..... I also need to update my random shopping blog, so if I get time then that's where you'll find me.

shagging gif animation (Google)
Ok, before I begin.... I don't know why the hell you ended up here looking for shagging animated gifs!! I live to give (be warned NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK!) - Are you looking for this kind? Or this kind? Don't blame me!!

arctic fox eyes location (Google)
Come on... you're having a laugh surely. Do you really need to sit at a computer and type this into Google to look it up for you?? They are on the fox's head of course... located.... in the Arctic!!

Rat and ratchet, Huddersfield (Google)
Hurrah for the Rat and Ratchet!! I haven't been there for a good few weeks now, but it's still one of the best pubs in town. Good beer, moderately priced, not too beardy!! Part of the Ossett chain of pubs.... you can see their website here!!

blu-tack creation bored (Google)
Bored? Looking for Blu-Tac action?? Head on over to the grossly underutilised Flickr group for blu-tac animals in their natural habitats!! Come and contribute!!

spike milligan plain tales from the raj download (Google)
Yes, it was a good set of radio programmes. No, I don't know where to download it from!! If anyone does, then I'd be keen to know about it too. I keep checking the torrent sites, but it hasn't appeared yet. Hail to the Spike!

whats on tonight in golcar (Google)
Very little I would imagine. Why not head to the Rose and Crown and avail yourself of some of that lovely Golcar brewed Mild or their lovely Pennine Gold!! You know you want to!!

im a ant that rides on golf balls song (Google)
I lose count of the number of people who come searching for the ant on a golfball song. To put this issue to bed, for once and for all time.... it's a song by Bob Brown. I don't know who the heck he is.... I don't know the song..... go and buy it from here!!

egears.co.uk review (Google)
Review?? Review?? I'll give you a review.... they're bleeping bleep di bleep.... bleepitty bleep.... bleep bleep.... don't give them the bleeping bleep off your bleep!! Find another supplier!!

what helps Arctic Foxes stand the cold (Google)
Fur!

Royal Doulton Arctic Fox (Google)
You gotta be truly kidding me. If you really have money to burn by buying pot arctic foxes, then you might as well give it all to me and I will make one for you.... shall we say fifty quid to get the ball rolling??

Guilty.

Of course, I am guilty as charged. I'm a brat, an ingrate, a miserable, moaning, grumpy, son of a mum.

I knew that my blog yesterday would rain fire upon my own head. I knew that there would not be a single person who would share my frustration. I knew everyone would, in fact, side squarely with my mum over my conduct and lack of enthusiasm at connecting across the water, but this is my blog, and of course, you're going to get my view. It was more important to get the rant "off my chest" than to actually "diss" my mum as the Pudding of Yorkshire would have us believe.

Straws and camels backs make for easy blogging.

Take for instance, the chav with a two bit pimped up ride that insists on waiting for me to get in my car so he can steal my parking space. He rubs salt into the wounds by parking across two spaces, so there is neither space in front, nor behind for another vehicle. I wish painful illness upon him. I feel better for just writing it down!!

Of course I love my mum..... what self respecting Yorkshire born skinhead wouldn't? We've been through a lot together... endless spit washes.... mutually reciprocal hospital visits (is that an oxymoron, or am I just a moron?)... Grazed knees... And unlimited sick buckets of both illness and self inflicted poisoning varieties... And of course, in return, my mum has done quite a bit for me too..... I jest of course!!

As a friend of mine once said... "When I get home I am going to rip my mother's knickers off...." and I can only imagine the stunned silence echoing around my blog is not dissimilar to that which fell upon the scene at that time. I think someone screamed before he continued... "This elastic's killing me!!".

I will leave you with that thought on day twenty two.

Fog.

The bright, flat, white light, pushed its way through the curtains in my bedroom this morning. You could tell, in the same way that you can tell it's been snowing in winter, without looking out of the window, what the weather had in store for us.

Bright whiteout Yorkshire fog.

When they say it's grim up north, this morning is the kind of thing they have in mind.

Dripping wet, dank moorland grime, laying, where snow would form a blanket, we definitely had a feather filled twenty tog super-king-size duvet. Everything enveloped in the marsh-mallowy softness of soundproof soup.

I grabbed my camera, my tripod, my trousers, and still fastening my boots, rushed out into the weather and out onto the hills. Even if no photographs would present themselves, then at least it would be a satisfying walk.

By the time I reached Cupwith, the visibility was to say the least, unfavourable. I parked the car, grabbed the gear and set off along the path. Straight away, I was noticing some lovely photogenic moments under the white shroud. The flat light, the dew encrusted moorland, the perfect white backdrop... Perhaps I would get something after all.

My only encounter on the moorland was a couple with four dogs. They were playing in the corner of the reservoir, and their passing comment, as I skillfully dodged a barrage of curious wet fur, was that I would not be likely to get many pictures today.

I think I may have proved them wrong. Out of the most "unlikely" circumstances, I think these are some of my best photographs.

Here is a small collection of photos (the rest are in Flickr of course) that I really , REALLY like.


On the path to Marsden, playing with a self timer, trying to get things in focus, and still manage to get into the photograph. There are VERY few photographs of me, so you ought to feel privileged.


A self contained "life support unit" on top of a wooden gatepost, dripping with the moor grime. I've looked at this grass a few times and thought what a good picture it might make. I hadn't bargained on it being against such a lovely white background, dripping with water, and being tended by a bumble bee. It's a competition winner in my eyes.


No photography collection is complete without the ubiquitous dew laden spider's web. There were plenty of them out on the moors. I particularly enjoyed the appearance of the heather, as if it were a giant spider's web in a forest of trees. Focus is difficult in a shot like this.... sorry.


Zen gardening at Cupwith Reservoir. Lovely reflections, and a gorgeous fade to white above these rocks. Magical.