You would think that by the age of fifty, I would be used to rejection. I mean, enough people have told me I suck over the years that it should roll off me. But it still hurts; even the mildest rejection seems to throw off my day. This is the problem of any creative projects; dealing with criticism.
This is the great problem being a writer; being soft enough to let your emotions flow through you, and hard enough to take rejection. I can see why F. Scott Fitzgerald drank himself to death.
Recently, a radio show host I love listening to mentioned they were reading Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace, a book I have never had any interest in reading. They are reading it because they are fans of… what I can only call “serious” fiction. Calling it “adult” fiction has a different connotation. These are fictional books about modern day life, which is probably the second largest category of fiction published today. The largest category is romance, and I’ve figured out that the difference between Serious Contemporary Fiction and Romance is how it ends; if everyone lives happily ever after, it’s Romance, if they don’t, it’s “serious.”
So why am I bringing that up? Because Wallace killed himself only a few years after writing what some critics call the “best book of the 20th Century.” I only tangentially knew him, because he was a professor at Illinois State while I was attending, and saw him across the room at the University Senate. (The less said about my political career, the better.) His book had come out while I was attending and the rumor was they were trying to do “anything to make him stay.” He didn’t, he got hired by the Claremont Colleges in California, and killed himself there.
The book is about depression, or more specifically, what it’s like to be inside the mind of a depressed person who’s trying to go through life day by day, and having a hard time justifying to himself why he should go on. Apparently, this reflected the nature of the author himself, since his suicide was not the first time that he had tried. HIs wife came in on him strangling from a rope and saved him.
So this really inspires me to read the book, right? 🙂 It’s not the kind of book I would enjoy. And from past experience, I am never reading anything this radio host suggests that I read, because his taste is an exact 180 degrees from my own. But it does emphasize the writer’s dilemma; how can I be tough enough to get my story across and deal with criticism while still remaining soft enough to convey the emotions inside me?
This post came up in my mind because I received a relatively benign comment on my current story. Basically it came down to “look, I come here for fanfic, and this isn’t it.” Perfectly valid… but you felt the need to paste my story with your stink? If it’s not for you, skip it, and go somewhere else! Now I could delete it, but I told myself, no… post your rebuttal and have that as a trophy for anyone who cares. It made finishing said story (only 5,000 words away) very difficult to work on.
What I told him is what I’ll tell you; start with reading No Such Wizard, my recent novel. If you’re a dedicated Kindle user like I am, it’s only $0.99. Check it out! If you’re a cheapskate like me, I still want you to read it, but you can check it out on An Archive of Our Own (AO3) with simpler formatting, but the words are all the same. Enjoy!
Albigensia Press 