Tag: Substack

How a mobile game keeps me alive and wired enough to survive the monotony of most days.

I’m not a gamer, or am I?

I have a thing for patterns, dangling participles, music that massages my brain, Women of Color with gaps between their two front teeth, and dimples in their cheeks (both sets). And, I make no apologies for any of it. So… it is a rare thing to find me a victim of what most of the younger generations fear—boredom.

Usually, I am equipped to handle it with fictional characters that argue in my head, threatening me for an escape—I provide it for them. Other times, I am escaping through the words of another—a favorite author, lyricist, comedian/enne, or one of my young neighbors/friends.

Suffice it to say, of late, I have been battling boredom, and I think it has managed to gain quite the hold on me. However, upon finding the mobile game Arrow Out (I am not advertising this game; I am simply sharing what a momentary cure for me is), I am soothing what appears to be monotony burnout.

Work is ritualistic. I clock in, put out fires, assist others, make our patients laugh, eat lunch, confirm nearly 100 appointments for the next day, then clock out. What has been satisfying for over two decades for me is slowly losing its spark. I count the hours like I honor every breath I take. When 4:30 PM greets me, I race for the door—eager to see the inside of my home again.

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Patterns are my kink—reel me in, wind me up, and push me down. I live for the challenge.

What I have found by playing this game (along with a few others, Solitaire Revelry and Vita Mahjong are runner-ups) is how active my brain is, but when I am focused on any of the above-mentioned, I am calmer. I am at ease. I do not feel pressure on my chest or ringing in my ears. I am tasked with challenges, and my focus is altered to meet or exceed them. Plainly put, I am soothing what my brain has been fighting—absolute boredom, and initially, I did not recognize it.

When I find it hard to roll over from the comfort of one position in my bed to ready myself for an exit away from it, I remind myself that on my lunch break, I can go for a walk or play a couple rounds of one of these mobile games. Walking while listening to music is a life-saver, hands down. Now that I have added stimulating the mind with mobile games, I am sure to defeat boredom.

I don’t want to find myself attached to it—clinging to something that has no intention of saving me from myself. I’ve also noticed that once I’ve cleared a round or several tasks/challenges within the games, I feel more creative. I want to write. I want to read. I want to climb out of the pits I’ve been wading in for months.

And for these facts alone, I am appreciative. What I worry about with these new methods of ridding myself of boredom is… addiction. Am I strong enough to maintain a normal balance with them so as not to let them take over?

We’ll see, won’t we?

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Don’t threaten me with a good mobile game time.

I am bound to accept that threat and raise you a higher one—what strength looks like when it’s balanced and groomed to handle battles upon battles and everlasting wars. This world is a dumpster fire laid atop burning coals in the middle of a regularly erupting volcano.

Finding peace within it has been hard, so I’ll take every outlet that I can get. Managing stress, maintaining focus, ridding myself of unattractive habits, and staying afloat when drowning seems all too easy to do is the playground where I currently reside—it is the lifeline.

If you’re searching for me, I’ve probably got my head in a book, a notebook, or bent over my mobile phone.

I am only a shout away.

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Musical Selection:

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Originally published in Poking the Bear’s Belly for Fun on Substack.