It’s been about 9 years since I decided it was time to confront why I felt certain things for girls. 

About 9 years since I asked Ella if we could kiss and see how we felt about it as an experiment one night at a slumber party. 

About 9 years since I realized I like girls, and maybe that would make me weird or if it was a phase that I’d grow out of when I got to college. 

And man… It was a lot for a 14 year old to comprehend at the time while juggling the new responsibilities of being a high schooler, coping with parents divorce, an abuser living at home, and being the stereotypical goth/emo with a hidden switchblade to run across her skin. 

But fast forward 9 years later. 22, basically 23 year old finally encountering biphobia directed at her. In the wonderful world of Tinder (yes- at this point I use it to just make friends because looking for anything else meaningful seems to be impossible on there), I had my first biphobic encounter. Meet Brian, or Mr. Hey.  

Well- he asked me point blank about relationships (before even asking things like ‘what do you do for a living? Are you religious? Do you want to hear from our lord and savior, Chutlu?’)  
And not even 5 minutes after I sent that, it showed that he unmatched me. My reaction at first resembled the “psssh, whatever, he had a fucking weird face to begin with” emoji- 😒. But then I got to thinking: why would someone shut down as soon as someone else says they are part of that horrid group of greedy hedonists called bisexuals? What are they afraid of? That we’ll get bored and go find another person of the same gender to give us the most breathtaking Orgasm using 2 fingers and a tongue instead of some magical penis???
  

 It seems like I’ll never understand biphobia… We are just like everyone else. We have standards, some more morale than others, and capable of doing monogamy. 

So I ask: is that a problem? 

This girl here, is a friend of mine from high school and it amazes me how strong she has become after the ordeal of her ex. Personally, I haven’t been in an abusive relationship and can only sympathize as an outsider so much.

In my family violence class earlier tonight, we actually saw the performance to Lady Gaga’s song and everyone in class visibly got the chills. It’s good to know that in higher Ed, we are sensitive enough to feel this sympathy towards survivors but as a society in whole, we still have A LOT of work to do to educate people on ways to control their anger in more productive ways as opposed to taking it out on family members.

Maybe then, the world would be less violent and a better place for everyone.

Happy Woman’s Day, everyone.

Well then… Welcome to what is happening at home right now.

Students from Chicago State University shut down three Chicago expressways on Thursday, when they marched onto the Dan Ryan to protest the impact the state’s budget impasse has had on their school.

Source: Chicago State University Students March On Dan Ryan To Protest State Budget Stalemate

How frightening is the thought  can now live stream things? Would it make porn more accessible? What about privacy concerns? 

All Facebook users with an iPhone can now stream live video over the platform, the company announced on Thursday. A similar update for Android users is coming soon. Facebook initially began testing the feature with a limited number of users in December. It’s only available in the U.S. for now, but Facebook says the livestreaming…

http://time.com/4198519/facebook-livestream-video-live/

“1. The friends you have at the beginning of the year can completely change by the end of it. People change, and if they aren’t improving your life in some way, it’s okay to drop them.2. Take many pictures. Don’t let it take over your life, though. You don’t want to look back and see that you only captured your memories with your camera lens and not within your mind and heart.

3. Find your safe place. Whether it be in the arms of a certain person or on the balcony of Barnes and Nobles with a cup of soup, find it and don’t let it go. You can have more than one safe place.

4. Be nice to everyone. You honestly don’t know what skeletons people are hiding in their closets. Everyone has their skeleton. Every person on this earth has something in their life or past worth collapsing on the ground in uncontrollable sobs over. 

5. Reading is so important. Highlight the things that you read that you find intriguing. Read a lot, it can only do good things for you. 

6. Writing always helps.

7. The girl with anxiety has the deepest thoughts. The autistic boy has the kindest heart, and the schizophrenic has the ability to put a smile on your face in seconds. Do not judge character based on a mental illness.

8. Music has an indescribable ability to connect and heal. Let it do its thing.

9. Her prettiness doesn’t make your prettiness any less pretty.

10. Getting close and letting someone in is scary as hell. You know what else it is? Worth it.

11. The minute you feel your happiness being dictated by someone else, take a break from them. 

12. Adventuring is a must. Sunsets always help the soul, showing that endings can be as beautiful as beginnings. 

13. Spend more time with your parents doing things they enjoy. Later in life, you’ll be wishing you’d spent more time with them than on your Netflix account.

14. Home is not always a place, but whatever you love with your whole heart. I have many homes, and it’s okay if one home doesn’t feel like home anymore.

15. Making someone smile and feel genuinely happy has the ability to warm your heart from the inside out. No matter how much pain someone is going through, you made them forget about it for a few seconds. Isn’t that something?

16. Feel everything and let it hurt, but don’t go back to what broke you.

17. Don’t let fear hold you back from what you want. The view from the other side is spectacular.

18. Tell people how you feel. Even if you’re scared it’ll burn your life to the ground. You say it loud. 

19. You find the most extraordinary things in the most ordinary places.

20. Swollen lips and sweaty “I want you’s” can make you feel again, but I don’t want to feel anything if it means having to sit there feeling like the wind is constantly being knocked out of me when he stops calling back. 

21. Sometimes the way you think of someone isn’t the way they actually are.

22. Never underestimate the amount of joy the holiday season can bring you. Try and find ways to feel that way all year long. 

23. Timing is never going to be perfect; if you care about something enough, you’ll make the time. It’s all about priorities. 

24. If women used their words to build each other up instead of tearing each other down, our world would change drastically.

25. Recovery can take 2 weeks or 5 years. You aren’t any less of a person if it takes you longer to find a way to let go of what’s hurting your heart.

26. You only need yourself, but having people by your side trying to understand means a lot more than you might think.

27. You find your truest friends in your darkest hours.

28. You can feel the whole world in a month and nothing after 2 years. Time does not define love. 

29. Always say yes to dessert.

30. Concerts make life worth living. So does yelling your favorite song along with your best friend in the car with your best friend with hands intertwined. These are things that show you that you don’t need to be on drugs to feel invincible. 

31. So does kissing.”

…and it didn’t happen overnight. Read about the efforts to raise awareness of legal rights and increase legal education programs: “Sisters In Law,” by Katherine Zoepf. (Thanks to Sally Haslanger for the pointer!)

https://feministphilosophers.wordpress.com/2016/01/21/67-saudi-women-are-licensed-to-practice-law/

Surprisingly, after dumping Ashley and Blonde within the past 5 years, I’ve come to realize I’m more meticulous with friendships and if something doesn’t feel right I have no problem once so ever cutting the other off.

Maybe this not giving a shit feeling also comes with age?

It’s 2:30 am, and roughly 5 hours ago I finished my last final of the semester. This term has been completely crazy. I’ve gone from dating an older woman to having to push everyone away because I have been under so much pressure to study for the lsat and all my classes and to top it off, 2 jobs and a mom who needs help with lots of things. 

Is stretched myself out so thin, I don’t know how I managed to come out with some sanity, few zits and a girl I hang out with that I can see as gf material (aka Pagina).   

 

 Also. I am drunk as I type this because I celebrated being officially half way done with my masters.

Now it’s just time to take back my life and be me again~ 
http://youtu.be/xo1VInw-SKc