Jimmy Iovine says Beats streaming will be different by, erm, being like everyone else

Overpriced headphone manufacturers Beats are planning to launch a music streaming service, which Jimmy Iovine reckons will be unlike anything anyone has ever seen before:

"There is a sea of music, an ocean of music and absolutely no curation for it. You friends can't curate for you. No one knows what song comes next," Iovine said. "Apple knows a lot about your music taste. Google knows a lot, and Facebook. But no one is using it to curate."

Actually, don't playlists on Spotify do nothing but have your friends curate music for you - if we're going to use that slightly clunky phrase?

And if you really need some songs, chosen from an endless repository, placed in an order that has been chosen by a music expert... isn't that what, say, Gideon Coe or Rob Da Bank does pretty well already?

If Iovine's idea seems to be defining a problem that doesn't actually exist, then his solution appears to be a plan that hasn't quite been thought out:

"Most tech companies never get curation right. It's not in their culture. We will be miles ahead of them," he said. "If you are going to the gym five days a week, we know that, and when you wake up we will have a list for you." The curation won't be math-free, Iovine said, but it will rely more on the human touch, marrying math and emotion. Beats users will be able to contribute to the music curation, but it wasn't clear as to how it will work with the trusted expert playlists.

So if I'm understanding this correctly, "your friends" are shit at curating music, but "Beats users" are somehow magically great at doing it. Instead of paying Iovine $10 a month, you could just find someone already doing that, and befriend them.

Still, targeting the product at gym users makes sense. People who will pay for a machine which lets them run on the spot will shovel cash over for anything.

Interscope Records move Josh Homme away from Jimmy Iovine for the staff Christmas lunch

Josh Homme has a somewhat low opinion of his record label, it turns out:

"Fuck the labels, man, they suck. The last thing they're stripping down is their own expense accounts and shit. I mean, (President) Jimmy Iovine of Interscope Records takes a private jet or rides first class to tell a band they don't get tour support...I'm not gonna be quiet because the American label, not Canada, not Europe, but our American label's fucking us like crazy, so fuck them...I'm not even bitter, people say labels are evil, no. They're just lame."

"They can't do anything to me. That's the difference...they can't stop me from being me and from playing, but they can lose their jobs and have to fucking work at Shakey's pizza like they should've all along."

"I have a retarded record company. They're all locked in their hysteria of a business that they don't understand, you know. Playing it safe and being panicked have no business in music."

He also added that they've been skimping on office supplies, buying off-brand sticky notes that don't actually fucking stick to any fucking thing and cheap biros that burst in your fucking pockets.

From the man who brought you Jesus' grave

The increasingly curious world of James Cameron offers entertainments and delights. Last week he was running round telling anyone who wanted to hear that he'd found Jesus' grave; this week, he's pushing the idea of making pop videos in 3D. Interscope Geffen A&M Records has rushed forward to embrace the concept:

"When I saw what James Cameron was doing with his dedication and wizardry to the 3-D platform, it seemed like the perfect combination for us to do some groundbreaking work," said [Jimmy] Iovine.

Times, supposedly hard in the music business, not so hard as to piss away money on the sort of wonky concept that barely managed to amuse the simpler 1950s audiences for a fortnight and scraped together a half-hour of novelty in the early days of TVS. They've already poured cash into making a 3D video for a Gwen Stefani single (the video has never been shown) and so are thrilled at the idea of burning through more money making 3D live concert films.

And, yes, it does still require you to wear those glasses with the Quality Street wrappers in the lenses.

Jaws 3D, anyone?