Bono praises Pence and presumably not for a bet

No Rock And Roll Fun isn't - you might have noticed - as busy as it has been traditionally, mainly because who the hell has the energy to write about an ecosystem that has somehow evolved Rag N Bone Man and everyone takes him seriously?

But the blog remains open, and from time to time I'll be posting here when there's something that warrants it. And something that warrants it is... well, this:

Enjoyed chatting w/ Bono at @MunSecConf. Discussed prior effort to twice pass Africa AIDS assistance & future security in developing nations pic.twitter.com/LJcvF4mXid

— Vice President Pence (@VP) February 18, 2017

Yes, that's long-time friend of the unpleasant Bono shaking warmly the hand of Mike Pence, enabler-in-chief to Donald Trump. This was during a meeting yesterday in Munich.

Bono also took the chance to praise Pence. He lauded Pence for "hitting the ground running", which is a bit like applauding bird flu for being especially virulent. Then tried to find a reason for touching the man that would play well to the liberal audience Bono believes still values him:

According to a pool report, the two men shared an exchange about the 2003 passage of the President's Emergency Plan For AIDS Relief and its 2008 renewal, which Pence advocated for as an Indiana congressman.

"Twice on the House floor you defended that. That’s how we know you," Bono, who has been a vocal proponent of the fight against AIDS, told Pence.

"And we really appreciate it," he added.

It's true, Pence DID support the Emergency Plan back in 2008. However, this was the same Pence who - in 2000 - tried to derail the Ryan White Care Act:

“Congress should support the reauthorization of the Ryan White Care Act only after completion of an audit to ensure that federal dollars were no longer being given to organizations that celebrate and encourage the types of behaviors that facilitate the spreading of the HIV virus,” read an LGBT section of Pence’s website, called Strengthening the American Family.

So had he changed his mind since then, and is he helping the fight against AIDS?

Well, no. He's making it worse, and singlehandedly helped create an HIV crisis in Indiana:

Pence first laid the groundwork for Indiana’s HIV outbreak as a congressman back in 2011, when the House passed his amendment to defund Planned Parenthood. Then in 2013, Pence’s first year as governor of Indiana, Scott County’s one Planned Parenthood closed in the wake of public health spending cuts. Since that particular Planned Parenthood was also the county’s only HIV testing center, there was no longer a place for the county’s 24,000 residents to get tested.

Nearly 20 percent of Scott County residents live below the poverty line. Injection drug use there is a major problem, increasing the risk of HIV outbreak.

Fast-forward to 2015. Local health officials began to report HIV cases linked to intravenous prescription opioid use in Scott County. Scott County residents were sharing needles to inject their opioids, and nobody was getting tested.

The situation quickly spiraled out of control. At the height of the outbreak, 20 new cases of HIV were being diagnosed each week, reaching a total of nearly 200 cases by the time the outbreak was finally under control.

Maybe if Bono had a spine, or perhaps didn't need to be loved so much, he might have mentioned this.

Maybe if Bono had a spine, he'd have drawn the link between the defunding of sexual health providers in Indiana, and the Trump-Pence White House's first executive order. That's the one which pulls funding from any organisation working overseas which mentions abortions as an option.

The executive order was restoring an older, Bush-era rule. And how did that work out?

Implementation of the global gag rule went well beyond abortion to effectively limit all discussions of family planning, including condom use to prevent HIV infection and multiyear spacing of pregnancies to avoid maternal deaths. Organizations as diverse as the World Health Organization, the United Nations Population Fund and Family Health International lost millions of dollars in support from the US government during the years the gag rule was enforced.

Bono - who is such a useful idiot he's more the Swiss Army Knife of Idiots - is shaking the hand of a man who has created an HIV crisis in his home state, and is part of a White House that's making rules that will stop condom use and education overseas, and praising him as a great warrior in the fight against HIV.

After this meeting, Bono moved on to take a selfie with Famine, noting that the famous Horseman had really "cut through and found a way to persuade people to eat up their leftovers."

Bono goes to Canada

Bono has taken time off from 'rationalising' his tax affairs to go and tell Canada how to spend their taxes.

But let's not focus too much on Bono's tax affairs, and wonder instead about his politics.

While in Canada, Bono praised how great the current government's commitment to overseas development is:

Bono remained above the fray, striking an upbeat note as he arrived on Parliament Hill repeating his mantra of "the world needs more Canada."

"Development assistance, or foreign aid as you call it here, is a really good way of showing who you are to the rest of the world," Bono said, surrounded by fans and well-wishers.

Stephen Harper's government is currently providing just 0.24% of GDP to its aid budget. This gets a visit from Bono and a lot of warm words in the press.

Oddly, though, when Paul Martin's aid budget was at 3% in 2005, Bono issued angry statements and called him out from the stage at a U2 gig.

That's strange, isn't it?

Bono tries to claim he's a business person, not an arsehole

Having previously attempted to explain his 'do as I say, not as I do' line on tax as being somehow an obligation, high priest of the tax weasels Bono is now suggesting he's merely being sensible:

Asked about his position on tax, he told Sky News that just because he had campaigned for a fairer society it did not mean he had to be “stupid” in business.

Bono said: “It’s just some smart people we have working for us trying to be sensible about the way we’re taxed. And that’s just one of our companies, by the way. There’s loads of companies.”

They're just being sensible. Because minimising your tax bill - or minimisering, if you'd prefer - is sensible.

The trouble with this line is that if you accept it, there's not really any way to object to a UKIP spokesperson saying that foreign aid is expensive, and if we stopped paying any foreign aid we could reduce everyone's tax burden. Because that, too, is a sensible statement. It's also fucking selfish.

When Bono said "it’s just some smart people we have working for us trying to be sensible about the way we’re taxed", what he means is "it’s just some fucking selfish people we have working for us trying to be fucking sensible about the way we’re taxed."

Because you'll note those "smart people". This isn't Bono turning up at a tax place, with one box saying '20% tax' and one saying '80% tax' and choosing the smaller figure. It is people who are working to come up with "smart" ways to avoid paying tax. Bono and U2 are actively trying to avoid paying tax. It's not sensible, it's deliberate. Different thing.

Hang about, The Edge is also keen to not be seen as some sort of rich arsehole avoid taxes:

U2’s lead guitarist, The Edge – real name David Evans – said: “So much of our business is outside Ireland. It’s ridiculous to sort of make a big deal about the fact that we operate outside of Ireland.”

Yes, that's true. A lot of your business is outside Ireland. In a huge part because you channel a lot of your business outside Ireland to avoid paying tax in Ireland. That's not a defence against the charge of tax avoiding, it's the methodology you use to avoid tax:

[T]he Rolling Stones and U2 also channel royalties through the country, and that both bands have an office on Amsterdam’s Herengracht.

It's hard to imagine how U2 could make this any more insulting to our intelligence, but Bono manages it:

Bono added: “And we pay a fortune in tax. Just so people know, we pay a fortune in tax; and we’re happy to pay a fortune in tax, people should."

Bono, when you're discussing how you sensibly avoid paying a fair share of taxes, that might not be the best time to tell people that they should be paying their taxes.

And you might pay a lot in taxes, but don't you dare come round trying to argue that you're doing the right thing by making that amount as small as possible and expect thanks for paying that smallest possible amount.

Your behaviour is legal. Your behaviour is rational.

Your behaviour is selfish.

Russian politician finally finds something positive about U2's iTunes giveaway

Who knew? That time when the U2 album cluttered up desktops and mobiles across the world wasn't a dying dinosaur's desperate grab for relevance. It turns out it was gay propaganda all along:

In Russia, Duma deputy Alexander Starovoitov​, a member of the far right LDPR party, asked Russia's attorney general to investigate U2 for distributing "gay pornography" to minors.
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This is apparently because of the album's cover picture (by Glen Luchford) of U2 drummer Larry Mullen jr embracing his 18-year-old son, Elvis. Both were shirtless.

Now, if only Bono had thought of that line at the time, maybe he might have found some support.

Although the rantings of a right-wing jabberloon might be amusing, this is part of the hardening hatred for LGBT people in Russia, and while we don't need to take Starovoitov's U2 gay panic seriously, we need to take the witch-hunt winds on which his stench is blowing very seriously indeed.

Bono: The emergency exit shouldn't be an exit, and that's an emergency

Even inanimate objects can't stand Bono. As if having a giant mechanical lemon whose doors failed to open when they should wasn't humiliation enough, now his plane doors are opening when they shouldn't:

The rear hatch of the aircraft taking the U2 lead singer from Dublin to Berlin was missing when the aircraft landed at Berlin Schonefeld Airport on Wednesday.

In some places, like the Daily Mail, this is being touted as some sort of near-death scrape for Bono:

Bono cheats death after private jet door falls off: U2 singer 'extremely lucky' after plane's tailgate becomes detached during flight to Berlin with four friends

That sounds scary, although let's not forget that in newspaper terms the Mail Online is less a paper of record, more one of those tablecloths you get at Romano's Macaroni Grill that the waiter writes his name on in crayon.

Because, as CNN reports:

The ground crew discovered that the hatch was missing shortly after the aircraft landed at 12:26 a.m., 11 minutes after it blew off, Freitag said.

So was this a chilling moment when the people on the plane saw their lives flashing before their eyes (Bono's would have been directed by Anton Corbijn, obviously)? Not if nobody noticed until, after the plane had landed, someone turned up to carry the cases off the plane and realised they didn't need to unlock the door.

Still, I'm really pleased that no harm came to Bono. Can you imagine how grim Saturday's Band Aid Rehash session would have been if it took place under the shadow of a Bono who had fallen to earth and simultaneously ascended to heaven? I'm betting that rather than assign it to somebody else, the whole track would have fallen silent for the duration of "tonight, than God, it's them instead of you".

Band Aid 30: Or, keeping Emeli Sande busy

Could there be anything worse than the Band Aid 30 idea?

Oh, hang on...

Announcing the project, Bob Geldof and Midge Ure said the song's lyrics would be changed to reflect the Ebola crisis.

This does give the impression that Bob and Midge had this conversation earlier in the year:

- Hey, it's the 30th anniversary, we should definitely do a Band Aid 30
- Who is this?
- It's Midge
- Midge Who?
- This isn't a knock-knock joke
- Oh, Midge. Hang on... how did you get this number?
- Jools Holland
- Bloody Jools. Anyway, what did you want?
- Band Aid. Band Aid 30.
- Oh. Yeah... but is there an African crisis we can help with?
- Well, Syria's in Africa...
- [silence]
- Bob?
- [silence]
- Bob?
- [silence]
- Well, I'm sure something will turn up...

God knows how they'll change the lyrics - "It's Christmastime, that's no time to die from ebola/ At Christmastime, we let in light and we wash our hands properly/ And our world of plenty handwash/ We can scrub our fingers clean/ Throw your arms around the world/ After checking its temperature, of course..."

Geldof and Ure, who masterminded the first version, said the project was nothing to do with nostalgia.

Then why call it after Band Aid, and mark the 30th anniversary, and use the same song that was used 30 years ago?

So far, confirmed artists include U2's Bono, Chris Martin of Coldplay, Emeli Sande, Underworld, Sinead O'Connor, Paloma Faith, Foals and Bastille, who have given up two arena dates to record their contribution.

Who would have guessed that Bono would be involved, eh?

But don't think this an insular British thing:

Versions will also be recorded in France, Germany and the US. "Think Daft Punk. Think Johnny Hallyday," said Geldof.

Ah, Johnny Hallyday - Bob's finger-on-the-pulse understanding of the Francophone music scene is, clearly, second to none.

As ever: it's lovely to raise money for charity, but you can donate right now to the DEC Ebola fund, and we don't need to make Emeli Sande do any singing at all.

Bono's eyes

Obviously, nobody would wish eye problems on anyone; not even upon Bono. But why are news outlets reporting his eye problems like it's news?

Didn't he "reveal" that he wore sunglasses because of eye problems back in 2005 in a Rolling Stone interview with Jann Wenner? (This is a rhetorical question to which the answer is yes.)

Yes; it must be terrible to have those eye problems, and who wouldn't be sympathetic. But you can't keep "revealing" you have them.

Bono apologises, in a Bono way

Having foisted the dreadful new U2 album on everyone, now Bono is apologising.

Not, obviously, saying sorry. But doing one of those 'hey, baby, if I'm guilty of anything it's just loving too much' apologies:

The questioner on the Facebook session said: "Can you please never release an album on iTunes that automatically downloads to peoples playlists ever again? It's really rude."

Bono replied: "I had this beautiful idea and we got carried away with ourselves. Artists are prone to that kind of thing.

"A drop of megalomania, a touch of generosity, a dash of self-promotion and deep fear that these songs that we poured our life into over the last few years mightn't be heard.

"There's a lot of noise out there. I guess we got a little noisy ourselves to get through it," he said.

Oh, man, I've just written this song. What if nobody hears the song? I know, I'll force the shitting song down their throats, whether they want it or not. Repeat ten times.

You know that at some point, in one of the meetings, someone - and it will have been Bono - said "look, guys, it's better to do something and say sorry rather than ask for permission and get a no". And he would have been wrong.

Bono: Low tax will save us all

Our old friend Bono granted a lengthy interview to The Observer at the weekend. It appeared in the New Review section, but really should have gone on the business pages it appeared to be marking the point where Bono shifted from apologist, to spokesperson, for capitalism.

Most notably, Bono attempted to justify Ireland's low tax regime as providing a route to prosperity:

"Look, Ireland is not going to back down on this,” he says. “We are a tiny little country, we don’t have scale, and our version of scale is to be innovative and to be clever, and tax competitiveness has brought our country the only prosperity we’ve known. That’s how we got these [tech] companies here."

Trying to use the lure of tiny corporate tax rates to build a prosperous nation is a bit like hoping to find a lasting, loving relationship by sticking your cock through a glory hole.

The companies opening their headquarters aren't actually headquartering there - generally, these tax-efficient operations consist of a bored person on minimum wage answering the phone with "no, we're not expecting Mr Cook in today" and a really, really huge shredding machine. (Although to be fair, Apple also have a room where they've stored all the unsold U2 limited edition iPods.)

The only local businesses who experience an uplift as being part of a low tax economy are brass plate engravers as the multinationals arrive, followed by a similar boost for carpetbag manufacturers.

U2 themselves are a pretty good example themselves - Bono, busily defending the idea that low corporate taxes are brilliant for Ireland did, of course, shift huge chunks of his own money over to mainland Europe when a more eye-catching low corporate tax rate waved a come-hither finger.

On that point, Bono is amusingly slippery, as he ignores the central problem - that he's shafted the country that he professes to love in order to save himself a few quid - by pretending that what's really upsetting people is the secrecy:

It isn’t a clandestine offshore tax haven, Bono insists. “All of our stuff is out in the open. How did people find out about it? Because it’s published. The sneakiness is when you don’t even know what’s going on.”

No, Bono. If someone livestreams themselves pissing through your letterbox, so you can watch as they do it, it doesn't make it alright.

It raises the alarming idea that when Bono watches a movie where the villain tortures the hero, but the villain starts by detailing what that torture will involve, Bono isn't horrified but reaches for the popcorn going "well, the cutting off of the arm and beating around the head has been publicly declared so I don't see there's a problem here."

Apple might be comfortably at home in Cork now - although the most generous headcount is 4000 Apple people, less than one-in-four of all their European staff. But people with longer memories will recall the tremor that ran through the area in 1999 when the globally nimble business realised it was better off making iMacs in Wales, taking two-thirds of the jobs across the border.

And Apple are probably amongst the most generous of the companies who have headquartered in Ireland - the Financial Times visited Endo, a pharmaceutical company who are now based in Dublin:

The global headquarters of Endo International is so new that, apart from a few desktop computers, the most visible purchase to date is the Nespresso machine in the kitchen. Located in the basement of a Georgian house in central Dublin, the company, which makes branded and generic medicines, does not even have a brass plate on the door.

Not even the brass plate engraver got a call.

Maybe the glory hole metaphor is the wrong way round, as Ireland isn't the one shoving its cock through the wall. It's on the other side, providing the service. And, sure, it's getting something out of the arrangement as long as it lasts, but everything could be pulled out without warning, leaving Ireland with a mess to clean up. And never able to look into the eyes of the person making the decision.

Formatwatch: Bono busy inventing something else nobody wants

You've got to hand it to Bono - just days after not realising nobody wanted his rump-reeking new record, even for free, he's coming up with another thing that people are neither seeking, nor requiring:

In a new Time magazine article, the singer has detailed the group's plans to help combat the illegal downloading of artists' music by creating a new file format which cannot be copied.

Unless there's some magic way it doesn't need to pass audio to an output, let me stop you right there Bono and say it doesn't work.

But do carry on.

The aim of the top secret project is to tempt fans to purchase full albums, not just individual tracks, once more so new material will once again become profitable for artists who aren't big on touring.

The problem here, Bono, is that 'bundling stuff into albums' is a thing that was convenient for labels and artists. It wasn't, ever, a thing that happened because music fans went to bed wishing that when they bought six songs they liked, they could get another four tracks they didn't like, and would never play.

Apple have already tried to resurrect the album format once - with the iTunesLP. That was meant to be an "immersive experience" with all sorts of extras which would make buying a bundle attractive again.

Nobody seems to have released one since last November's Justin Timberlake 20/20 Experience.

But, still, good luck, Bono.

Hold on, Bono's found a way to make that unwanted album even worse

As if the whole distribution of the lumpen U2 album wasn't enough to make it as attractive as an open sore while swimming in the waters of Fukushima, Bono's found a way to make it even less attractive.

Talking about it in a self-satisfied manner:

"We wanted to make a very personal album," Bono told Rolling Stone's Gus Wenner the day before the press conference in an exclusive interview. "Let's try to figure out why we wanted to be in a band, the relationships around the band, our friendships, our lovers, our family. The whole album is first journeys — first journeys geographically, spiritually, sexually. And that's hard. But we went there."

Oh, that's so hard, going "there", to a place that has only ever been visited by almost every single writer, poet, songwriter, mime artist, penis puppeteers, copywriters, silver-sprayed statue people and rodeo clown that has ever existed.

Bob Geldof and Bono: Perhaps they spent the interval talking truth to power

I know we don't need any further evidence that Geldof and Bono's outsider act is, well, an act, but in case you're still looking to be convinced, who turned up for Matthew Freud's birthday in what for most people would be the 'clown making balloon animals' slot?:

Guests thought to include Davina McCall and Jimmy Carr were treated to a performance from Bob Geldof and U2 frontman Bono. The duo joined forces to perform a rendition of Martha and the Vandellas’ Dancing in the Street.

Amongst the revellers were the Blairs, Cameron and Osborne.

But I'm sure Bob and Bono were thinking about the poor the whole time they did it.

Bono misses the point on tax, presumably deliberately

So in his big Observer interview at the weekend, Bono took the opportunity to address U2's "efficient" tax arrangements, and explain why he isn't a shitty, cash-nuzzling hypocrite. Go on, Bono:

The other persistent criticism is about the band's decision to offshore part of their income through the Netherlands to avoid tax. Was it not hypocrisy for you to try to hold the Irish government to account for its spending while going through fairly exhaustive efforts to avoid paying into the Irish exchequer yourself?

It is not an intellectually rigorous position unless you understand that at the heart of the Irish economy has always been the philosophy of tax competitiveness. Tax competitiveness has taken our country out of poverty. People in the revenue accept that if you engage in that policy then some people are going to go out, and some people are coming in. It has been a successful policy. On the cranky left that is very annoying, I can see that. But tax competitiveness is why Ireland has stayed afloat. When the Germans tried to impose a different tax regime on the country in exchange for a bailout, the taoiseach said they would rather not have the bailout. So U2 is in total harmony with our government's philosophy.

Now, what this is is a fair attempt to defend the Irish government's relaxed approach - you make tax-paying a thing that becomes a matter of choosing where you wish to pay tax, you must accept that some people will choose to pay tax elsewhere.

What it doesn't do, though, is even begin to address the charge that Bono and the boys make that choice.

"If people leave their front door open, they shouldn't be surprised if people steal their televisions" isn't a justification for stealing a television, it just explains the context in which you're walking down the street with someone else's Viera under your arm.

Furthermore, it really doesn't explain why you'd feel justified in telling people what to do with the valuables you hadn't pinched.

So, okay, Bono: you've established that the Irish Government might accept that what you've done is to be expected. Can you have another go at explaining why it was right?

Bono: Mainly doing good for Bono, big business

You know what I'd hate to be? I'd hate to be one of those people who have spent much of the last decade giving Bono the benefit of the doubt.

Because those doubts are starting to pile up now.

First, last week there was George Monbiot, asking what the hell was Bono's One campaign doing endorsing the New Alliance for Food Security and Nutrition.

This "Alliance" means, for example, that farmers in Mozambique who use free seed, saved from the last year's harvest, become outlaws; the better to enforce Monsanto's seeds onto the developing world.

Why, no, insists ONE: this is a good thing:

Seed policy reforms pursued by new alliance countries are designed to make the local seed market flourish and enable smallholder farmers to access the same types of improved seeds that raise yields and income levels, which more productive farmers take for granted elsewhere in the world.

Well, yes. Forcing people to buy seed is good news for the seed market, and without a market there wouldn't be a place for smallholders to purchase seeds from Monsanto, with all the claimed benefits of Monsant... hang about, aren't you meant to be a charity promoting the development of Africa, rather than a corporation selling seed to the continent?

Monbiot's piece was inspired, in part, by the publication of The Frontman, a filleting of Bono's role as "one who has become an unwitting symbol of a complacent wealthy Western elite".

And the third scoop? He's done an interview with Focus On The Family, the Colorado-based far-right Jesus fundamentalists.

What sort of people is it Bono is hanging out with?

An organisation that wants transgender people to be banned from using public toilets.

They're - shall we say - gay hostile.

They're selling camouflage trucker caps with little crosses on them.

They're desperate to stop government from being able to object to having to fund sectarian organisations.

So why is Bono helping them out by sprinkling a little of his stardust?

Surely, this is the point where people have to stop making excuses for him, right?

Unbelievably, his fanbase are trying to spin this, too:

It may appear that Focus on the Family is using Bono. But I think the case could be made that Bono using them. He's long talked about how the churches need to wake up to what their scriptures are telling them: help the poor. By doing this interview, he can leverage support from a huge and influential group, Evangelical America. Bono is both a believer and a good salesman. Thanks for sharing!

"No, no; he isn't burning down the orphanage; he's merely ensuring that the petrol soaked-rags aren't around to cause problems any more. You've got to trust the man..."

Bono worries about the fiscal cliff

Bono is looking at the challenge facing the US economy as the Bush tax cuts expire, and frets about the fiscal cliff:

“There’s real jeopardy,” Bono said Wednesday at a discussion at the World Bank with bank President Jim Yong Kim. “I’m still terrified of people wrestling the wheel of this mad lorry that they’re driving off the cliff.”

Bono is afraid that the cuts made as the economy throbs through its change will hurt the poorest.

Interestingly, Bono's focus is on what shouldn't be cut, rather than who should be properly taxed.

Gordon in the morning: The stink eye from Ol' Blue Eyes

Frank Sinatra might have been a better judge of character than we thought. Gordon says he had no time for Bono:

BONO admits he annoyed Frank Sinatra so much on a video shoot for their 1993 cover of I’ve Got You Under My Skin that the crooner stormed out.

Not, unfortunately, to put in a call to his friends in legitimate business.

As ever, though, this story turns out to be not quite what Gordon sets up:

The U2 frontman said: “We turned up at a bar to do the shoot but our cameras didn’t work – twice.

Frank was known as ‘One Take Frank’ so when we asked him to do it again he bellowed: ‘What’s going on?!’

He said we were amateurs – and disappeared.”

So rather than Bono annoying Frank, it was a failure of technology.

Still, I like to think that Sinatra was annoyed by Bono as well. Because, after all, who wouldn't be?

Gordon in the morning: Bono versus God

It was only a matter of time before Bono started having a go at God. Gordon reports:

The U2 frontman said he would like to wait for the Big Man to bless him with inspiration when he’s stuck in the recording studio – but he doesn’t have time to wait.

I suspect this could just be God desperate to save the rest of his people from another U2 album, couldn't it?

Tripadvisor apparently not good enough for Bono

Bono popped over to Jerusalem and stayed in a swish hotel.

Rather than spending the time like a normal person, forcing towels into his suitcase and moaning about the sachets of UHT milk, he dashed off a little poem:

The poem Bono left behind at the King David Hotel in Jerusalem. What are the 3 words above the dog? "Reading Am ..."? twitter.com/bethandbono/st…

— bethandbono (@bethandbono) April 18, 2012

I think they'd have preferred a tenner slipped onto the bedside table, but still, it's quite a nice gesture.

Obviously it's not a very good poem, and it's horrible overwritten, relying on clunking imagery to fumble towards a big political theme. But that's how you can be sure it's a genuine Bono work and not a forgery.

[Thanks to Michael M]

What do you do when Bono says no?

What do you do when Bono and U2 grimly refuse you the rights to use a song, forcing you to pull out of a film festival?

This:



Moral: There is always a way round the self-importance of Bono.

[Thanks to Michael M for the tip]

One: Whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not

There's been a bit of squawking over the refusal of Clearcast to clear Bono and co's One advert to be shown on the television. Clearcast have explained they had no choice:

We have been unable to clear this ad to date as we believe it is currently in breach of Rule 7 of the BCAP Code, which is itself based on the provisions of Section 321 of the Communications Act 2003. This imposes a blanket prohibition on “political” advertising on television and it is OFCOM who have retained responsibility for applying these rules. If an advertiser or an ad appears to be in breach of these provisions, neither Clearcast nor BCAP have any discretion in the matter of approval.

These rules ensure that ads aren’t being broadcast by bodies whose objects are wholly or mainly political. ONE appears to be caught by this rule as they state that part of their raison d’être is to pressure political leaders. It also appears that a number of the claims are made in the version of the ad that we have seen are directed towards a political end, which is again against the rules. This ad is not “banned”; we are in discussions with ONE to see if there is any way that the apparent legal hurdles can be overcome and the ad cleared.

One are fuming at this, insisting that it isn't fair:

He said: "ONE is not a political party and we have no political affiliation."

You know, that's funny, because last year when people got upset that One raised sums of money, very little of which went directly to the people it was supposed to be helping, the One campaign spoke to everyone like we were stupid children saying 'of course we don't help people directly, because we're a political organisation:

The whole point of ONE is to combat extreme poverty by raising awareness and changing government policy - it has never been to directly fund charity projects in developing countries, work which is done well by other NGOs. ONE was created by philanthropists to tackle the structural policy issues such as debt, trade, and access to health care and other resources which make it hard to break out of extreme poverty.
[...]
As other examples of our work, ONE helped successfully press for debt relief for Haiti after the devastating earthquake there and we recently played an important role in the passage of a law in the US requiring oil companies to report any payments to government officials - an effort to end backhanded deals between energy companies and corrupt politicians that hurt people in poor countries.

When it's accused of spending cash on lobbying, One bristles and snaps "of course, we're a political organisation"; when told they can't have an advert because they're political, they then try and deny that they're political. Although not very well, as Adrian Lovett, the European director, says shortly after denying they're political:

[O]ur ad highlights the desperate plight of 750,000 people in east Africa who the UN warns could die before the end of the year. Unless we keep the spotlight on this crisis and the need for urgent action, those people will be forgotten. Who can object to that message?

Which is refreshingly simple minded: we're not political, we just have a political message, but it's a good one so can't we just have an advert. I'm sure the BNP think that no right-thinking person could object to their aims and objectionable objectives, so on the same basis, would One want their ads to be aired? How about a counterpoint to the One campaign - let's say a None campaign - which wanted airtime to argue that "it's Africa's problem, why should European money solve it?" Providing they weren't an actual party and just really believed in their message, would One support their ads popping up during Phil Spencer's new property show?

There's a sense here that the One campaign is more about the rich and the powerful wanting to be seen to be doing good, and the problem is that Clearcast is stopping Nescafe shill George Clooney and suitcase salesman from Bono from bolstering their credentials by showing their caring side.

Still, the upside is that One can spend the money they're saving in TV time by buying some more leather covered Moleskin notebooks to give to journalists.