The Road to Bryton - Day 2

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Again this morning there was no real movement.  Maybe some slight movements but nothing major.  I kept telling myself that it was normal; she is getting ready to be born.  I went in to see my OBGYN, she shared with me that she was frustrated the hospital had not called her while I was there the day before.  She told me to be very forceful the next time I go into labor and delivery; I had to force them to call her.  I promised her I would.  I shared with her that the baby was still not moving very much if at all.  She checked on the baby’s heart rate, it was actually higher than the day before, and the baby moved when she felt around to see if she was engaged, which she still was.

Everything was looking good and my anxiety lowered.  We talked about how at my next appointment, in a week, we would set my induction date. On my way to work I called my husband and told him everything was fine and that the baby’s heart rate was back where it normally was.

Looking back I wish I had a recording of Bryton’s fetal heartbeat.  This day was the last time I heard it.  For my husband it was the day before.  This was our 4^th pregnancy together and my 5^th.  I was totally fine going to all my appointments on my own.   If I could go back in time, I would always have my husband with me.  You never know when a life might end.

The Voice

One Sunday while pregnant with baby #3 we were sitting in church when I heard a voice.  It said, "You will have a son.  Your baby will die." Then an older lady got up and shared her story about her losing a child to SIDS many years ago.  I started to think I was crazy and went home trying to calm myself down now convinced if I was having a son that would die.

 

Later that same day my husband asked me what was wrong and I told him about what I thought I heard in church.  I told myself I was crazy and that it was all just in my head and my husband agreed that maybe I was just being paranoid.  A little while after this happened we found out baby #3 was a boy.  I was worried the whole pregnancy and scared to get too excited for having another baby as I was worried this child would die.  To top things off I had blood pressure issues and was in the hospital a few times scared we might have to deliver him too early.  

 

With a due date of June 3rd, I went into the hospital contracting on May 15, 2008, where I had elevated blood pressure and protein in my urine.  The next morning on May 16, 2008, my doctor told me she wanted to induce me right away, but the hospital said no they would not allow her to induce me until one week before my due date, even with my blood pressure high and protein now in my urine, my doctor was very frustrated.  

 

I went back to work, as my office was closer than my home to my doctor and went about my day.  We were just heading home at 5 pm when we got onto the freeway and ended up in a car accident where I was taken to the hospital as a trauma 2, I was contracting, and the baby who was always super active was not moving.  I remembered the voice and what it told me but tried my best to stay calm, knowing if I panicked it would just make things worse for my baby.  I was admitted to labor and delivery where they monitored the baby and me for 24 hours.  After being monitored, it was decided it was best to induce labor and deliver our baby who now was starting to show signs of being in distress.

 

So early in the morning on May 18, 2008, with Primary Children ready to take our baby we delivered Straton James Wintle.  He was perfect and perfectly fine with no need to be taken to the NICU after all.  Now today Straton is very small and has some growth issues, but overall has always been healthy and happy.  Oddly Bryton had the same due date as Straton, June 3rd and on the 7 year anniversary from the car accident we went into the hospital and had it confirmed that she had passed away.  We then delivered Bryton early on May 17th as I did not want to risk having her on Straton's birthday.  

 

I have always remembered the voice I heard that Sunday 8 years ago.  I now think it was two separate statements.  One statement telling me that the baby I was pregnant with at the time was a son and the other saying my baby (my youngest) would die.  The voice was not scary, it was soft and gentle.  Because of hearing that voice I have always been at full attention when someone shares their experience with losing a child.  I do not know why I had this experience as there was nothing I could have done to prevent Bryton from dying.  Maybe I heard it to later help me understand that there was nothing I could have done to save Bryton, and to understand that she was never meant to spend much time here with us.