Perfect Timing

Two days after my birthday, my last remaining grandparent, my dad's mother passed away.  She fell on my birthday and I had a feeling that this it.  We got word on Sunday as we were driving to church that she passed away.

My wonderful mother in law went home on Monday to pick up a few things and came back the next day to help with the kids so I could fly out for the funeral.  Clay had a test on Monday to throw into the mix too.

I flew out to Denver on Wednesday (half the cost of flying into Salt Lake) where I was picked up by my sister.  She and I and her two children drove out to Salt Lake the next day.  The viewing was Friday night and funeral on Saturday.

Sunday I was able to go to Sacrament Meeting in our ward in West Valley.  I miss that ward.  It was so nice to be greeted by so many smiling faces.  After church, we had to head back to Colorado since there was a storm coming in that night and all day the next day.

Tuesday morning I flew out to come back home.  There was a big storm coming through the south again.  It's been a COLD, wet winter here.  So my flight kept getting delayed from my layover in Charlotte, NC.  I barely made it into the Knoxville airport--I think we were the last flight into the airport at night.  It was about 1 1/2 hours later than I had planned and we finally got there about 7:00 that night.  Clay and the kids all surprised me with signs at the airport.  It was a long drive home through lots of snow.  And we luckily got another snow day the next day to catch up on sleep.

And of course in perfect timing to take over that weekend so Clay could study for his next test the next Monday.  I'm grateful that it was the perfect timing so that I could go between tests.

A couple of weekends ago, we also made a quick trip to Georgia to attend Clay's cousin's funeral.  Again, good timing as that Clay took a test that Friday morning before we left for the funeral that night.

As for me, I'm struggling again.  I read a quote that goes something like depression, anxiety, etc. are not weaknesses, it's a sign that you've been strong too long.  I guess I've been strong too long.  I'm ready for a break.

Being Perfect!

Did you know that 40 is the perfect number?  40 is the only number whose letters are in alphabetical order.  Perfect.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about being perfect.  I was really struggling and wondering if I was making a difference in this world.  I realized I was getting pretty selfish and I needed to find a way to get over that.  I have a wonderful friend, an old roommate, who posted on Facebook about a 30 day challenge she did before her birthday in December.  She did all kinds of amazing things as random acts of kindness to help other people and I felt like that was something I needed to work on.  I needed to do more than serve my family by doing 20 loads of laundry a week.

My resources and time are pretty tight (husband in medical school with 6 children) so I challenged myself to pray to receive the inspiration of what He wanted me to do to help someone each day.  I knew he realized my limitations and weaknesses and what I needed to work on more than I do.  I wanted to do this 40 challenge perfectly.  Somedays at the beginning were hard and I wondered if I was doing it "perfect" (I think the last day was the hardest for me).  When I started, I had so many ideas of what I thought I would do but soon realized that planning it all out wasn't the point.  I wanted to experience the process, not just the end product of having a list to check off.

We all know the scripture, Matthew 5:48--"Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect."  I've always loved that verse but struggled with what it means to be perfect.  Does it mean that you always do things perfectly?

So I learned a few lessons during these 40 days (I'll probably come back to write more later):
*Heavenly Father is MY Heavenly Father (and yours too) and HE NEEDS ME (and you too).
*There is always at least one person in my life who can benefit from me everyday.
*Giving service doesn't require lots of money or time.  (Sure I'd love to go pass out $100 bills on the street but that's not realistic in my life)
*If I pray each morning for the inspiration to know what He needs me to do that day, I will receive it.
*If I pray for help, he will send the help to me.  It may not be who or what I think I need, but He knows me perfectly and knows what I need.
*The more we serve, the more blessed we realize we are and the more blessings we receive.  I have been blessed so much these past weeks in ways I could not have imagined.  From a fellow student families surprising us with gifts and visits to reconnecting with friends from years ago.  I am so perfectly blessed.

So being perfect to me is to be at the perfect place at the perfect time to help in the perfect way or say the perfect thing.  That's perfect.  It doesn't mean I'm a perfect Christian, friend, parent, wife, etc. but I can have perfect moments where my will becomes His will and I can be the perfect servant he needs me to be.  That's perfect.  I hope each day to continue to strive to become more perfect in all that He needs me to do.

As I posted on Facebook, I am so grateful for the opportunity to have lived in so many places and met so many different people from all walks of life.  I continue to be inspired by friends through technology and I love it!  I am grateful for people who inspire me to become more perfect.  He has put the perfect people in my life at the perfect time to teach me the perfect lessons for me to learn.  I know the most amazing people and that is so perfect for me!

I think this is the first birthday I've enjoyed in a long time.  Because it wasn't about me.  I didn't expect anything from anyone.  I enjoyed a quiet dinner with my husband (date night) and then a quiet (as quiet as can be with 6 children) evening with my family.  I enjoyed being me and feeling like I am here for a reason.

And to top it all off, it's been snowing on and off all day.  Perfect day!

Day 40

Well, tomorrow's the big day.  I honestly thought that turning 40 would be tougher.  I've been hoping to write about some of the lessons I've learned but don't seem to make the time yet.  I think I may get a few minutes alone tomorrow while Clay takes the kids shopping after school so I can write then.

Today it seemed like everything I did, I just couldn't find the feeling to do something for someone.  It's been by far the hardest day.  I even drove through the drive through to pay for the person behind me and no one got behind me.  Crazy.

So tonight Clay and I went to a surprise party for a friend who's turning 30 tomorrow.  When the conversation amongst the group I was in, drifted to negative talk about someone, I tried my best to not say anything.  I guess today the best service I could give is to not say anything negative about someone.

And now, I am going to cuddle with Ethan and do myself some service and get to bed on time tonight. :)

Day 39

Today Ethan and I went to a church playgroup that I tried to get started a few months ago.  It's had its moments.  Today I went out of my way to talk to a sister who always seems so upset.  It was a wonderful conversation and I'm glad I was able to talk with her and get to know her a little bit better.

Day 38

Some days get incredibly crazy around here.  Yesterday (Tuesday) was one of those.  I knew my afternoon and evening was going to be lots of running around so I took the time in the morning to finally work on our yearly letter.  I was able to finally get it posted on the blog and the ones to mail addressed.  They went out today!

While we were at speech yesterday, I took the time to visit with a man who I see some days there and also wrote a birthday card to a friend whose birthday is next week.  I am not the best at letter writing but I really want to do better to remember those who have been there for me at different times in my life.  I'm sure she'll be surprised I remembered her birthday.

2013 Update

2013 Update on our family—

We’re a little late but just wanted to let you know the latest on our family.   (Thanks to Christina and Daniel for writing most of this.)

Clay just finished another semester of school.  We’re grateful to have another semester behind us.  One more semester to go before taking his first national board test this summer.   Next fall he will begin his two year clinical rotations.  Clay spent the month of July in Texas attending officer training for the army.  He is currently serving as secretary in the Elder’s Quorum. 

Markell is busy with the kids and trying to keep things going at home.  She is currently serving as a Visiting Teaching Supervisor at church.

Christina is a junior at Cumberland Gap High School.  She was on the girls’ soccer team at high school this past fall and loved it! She also received her Young Women’s Recognition/ Medallion in October and is now busily working on receiving her Honor Bee as well.  She also received two new callings- the first calling was the ward’s Stake Youth Committee Representative for the young women, and the second was the Ward Chorister.  She also turned 16 and was very ready to date and drive!

Daniel is in 7^th grade at J. Frank White Academy.  He is in the Science Olympiad at his school and enjoys it. He has been receiving all A’s.  He turned 12 last year and now holds the Aaronic Priesthood and joined Boy Scouts. He has earned 2 ranks so far in the Scouting program.  He played tennis in the spring and plans on playing soccer this coming spring.

Amanda is in 4^th grade at Ellen Meyers Elementary School.  She has been receiving very good grades as well and has been on the honor roll.  At the end of this school year, she will be graduating from Elementary school and it will be on to Middle school for her!  She danced in a jazz/hip-hop class in the spring and enjoyed it a lot.  She’s excited for her upcoming 10^th birthday next month.

Jonathan is in 2^nd grade at Ellen Meyers Elementary School as well.  He is a part of the Talented and Gifted (TAG) program and is the only one in his entire school!  He enjoys the program which includes him getting pulled out of class once a week and talking to his special teacher and playing some educational games with her as well.  He is very excited to turn 8 in April and be baptized.

Samantha turned 5 and is a Kindergartner at Ellen Meyers Elementary School this year.  She loves going to school and playing with her friends!  She is doing great in school and has improved her speech amazingly well and speaks very fluently now.

Ethan turned 3 this past summer and has been hanging out with Mom at home since everyone else is now in school.  He loves spending the extra time with Mom and is very helpful when it comes to cleaning and picking his toys up.  He loves playing with trains and cars.  He is also growing up way to fast.

Love,

The Staffords

Day 37

Today after school (the kids all finally went back!), I took Daniel for some one on one time to look for new shoes.  I can't believe he wears almost the same size as his dad.  As I was checking out, I noticed the cashier looked like she was having a bad day.  I picked up a package of candy there at the checkout, paid for it and handed it to the cashier telling her to have a nice day.

Day 36

Sundays are the one day that Clay doesn't study and we have family time and a little more daddy time.  Clay's serving as the secretary in the Elder's Quorum with a man who has been a member for about 3-4 years as President.  This man is probably our parent's age (60s) and relies on Clay for pretty much everything.  Clay used to go every Sunday early to take notes for him in the early morning meetings but now only goes twice a month, alternating with one of the counselors.

I was so excited because we were bringing one of our sister sets of missionaries home after church to join us for dinner (we have 2 sets of sisters and one set of elders).  We had also discussed having another impromptu dessert night at our house and inviting some of the members of our ward over for homemade donuts to share.  As I started inviting people, Clay stopped me and told me he had just been informed that he had a leadership meeting in Knoxville at 4 pm so I had to postpone with everyone I had just invited.

We had just enough time to go home and finish up a few things before we ate the dinner with the sisters that I had put in the crock pots before Clay rushed off to his meeting.  As he was coming home, he texted me and said one of the sisters in the ward needed him to work on her and help teach her husband how to help her.  So our evening with friends ended up with me and the kids having a quiet evening at home so Clay could go out serving.  Even though I was able to serve by feeding the sisters, I think I served the most by staying home and keeping things going there so Clay could go out to serve.

Day 35

Today I left some banana muffins and thank you note in the mailbox with the flag up for the mailman.  The kids all thought it was pretty funny and started running when he pulled in the driveway.  Good thing I put the flag up for him to stop there as he was only going to bring our mail up to the door since we had a package.  We have such an awesome mailman.  :)

Clay needed to study this afternoon so I took the kids to see Frozen again and then all 6 of them shopping.  That's always such an adventure.  We were gone for about 4 hours for him to study.  I really miss family time.

Day 34

Fridays are date night.  We haven't ever been as consistent as we are now because we so desperately need that time (or at least I REALLY do).  Clay's gone much of the time with school and spends much of his nights and early morning studying.  When he is around the family, we have six kids that need his attention.  It is very difficult to have time to talk about the kids let alone us.  Since starting school, we have almost every Friday night as our night and so we can get some time alone.  (It's nice to have a teenager who babysits in exchange for her cell phone.)  

With the kids out for an extra week of Christmas break due to the weather, I REALLY needed it this week.  Clay still had school and is back into the studying/school routine.  Daniel had a 2 hour delayed start on Friday but he was gone for most of the day to school.

So yesterday as we were headed out for our date, Clay told me that one of his classmates would like us to stop by so Clay could adjust him on our way.  So I grabbed a small loaf of banana bread the kids had helped me make earlier and we headed to their house.   I visited with his wife and kids while Clay worked on Tom.  

As we left, Clay showed me that they had given him a gift card for a restaurant in Knoxville.  We called and made reservations and headed that way.  After our wonderful meal, we handed the waiter the gift card.  He came back and told us we still had a balance that was more than enough for another meal!  

I am just amazed how many times when I feel like I/we have done more to try to serve someone else, it comes back to bless us so much more than I feel like we have given or sacrificed to serve them.  I feel so blessed.

Day 33

Today was speech again and I had some more interesting conversations with people there.  The kids were out of school again today (4th day in a row) but I took some time after speech, to have some quiet time with my two youngest today.  I sure do enjoy that time much more with the last two than I did with the first two.  Crazy how perspective changes as you get older.  Having my three year old fall asleep again next to me was the best moment of my day (and his too I hope).

Day 32

For day 32, I hosted the Young Men & Young Women's Etiquette Dinner at our house.  I cooked the sauce and pasta for 13 youth (and feed 3 adults--the missionaries needed to be fed again--plus leftovers).  It was a bit of a crazy day yesterday trying to get the house ready for everyone to come.  Then Clay found out that the Elder's Quorum Presidency was meeting at our house too.  So we sent the Elder's Quorum downstairs, the youth and their leaders were in the front room & kitchen and I went between them and taking care of our four youngest between the two bedrooms they were in.

Day 31

The kids were out of school again today but Samantha still had speech therapy so I was able to leave the house for a bit to take her to that.  While there I spent a few minutes visiting with a stranger.  I have to admit that still is quite a stretch for me and I'm not very comfortable with it.  So I thought that was a moment today.

When I came home, I found the Elders there visiting with Clay to warm up and they ended up staying for dinner as they aren't getting too many people signing up for meals.  Feeding 6 missionaries appears to be harder for our ward to take care of than it should.  After dinner, Clay drove the Elders back to their apartment.

Day 30

Today everyone's school was cancelled.  Clay did have afternoon class for a few hours.  Because of that and the ice and freezing temperature, we pretty well stayed in except for a quick trip to pick up Amanda's medication with Clay.  So today I found a link for some gluten free recipes that I sent over to a friend here who is gluten free.  She actually learned about a month ago that she has several other allergies as well and has been struggling to find recipes that she can use.  She emailed back to thank me and was excited to use some this week for their menu.

Our furnace hasn't been able to make it over 64 degrees today.  I'm grateful it's working as hard as it can with record lows in the single digits, below zero at times before the wind chill.  I'm so grateful we purchased a small heater when we moved here that has kept us a little warmer today.  So, I'm going to crawl in bed and try to warm up.

Day 29

We had church today (most of the area churches cancelled due to black ice).  It was great to see most of our friends back today.  During Sacrament Meeting, I was able to help the family behind us and in front of us with sharing books for their little ones who were struggling.

After church, due to the storm coming in, I took a packaged dinner for a family in the ward who's mom has been sick for the last week.  It felt weird to take something and say, "make it yourself" but I'm afraid we won't be going anywhere tomorrow and it's an add to boiling water dinner so it's really easy--soup with crackers and refrigerated cookie dough.

This evening, I've been texting a sister who was visiting family in Idaho and flying back tonight to help her find places to stay in case she can't come home.

Day 28

Today we came home from Pigeon Forge.  I think we'll be going back (hopefully) soon.  It's only an hour and 40 minutes from our house.  :)  Before we left, we took our kids out to get ice cream at the Apple Barn.  We got a huge banana split that most of us shared.

The past few days with our family away have been heaven.  So nice to have a little break with our little family before all the chaos comes back next week.  It's also been a nice reminder for me to find joy in surprising my family by service more.  Too often I think it's easier to find ways to serve others outside of our family than it is to do more for our family.  I know that helping the kids with the chores, doing the laundry, cooking meals, etc, etc, etc is serving my family but it's so nice to go above and beyond what is normal for us and doing a little extra just for them.

Day 27

Last night I didn't sleep too well. Eight in a hotel room, even a large room, is a little difficult especially when a little one wets the bed. I haven't felt well all day but prayed this morning to still find a way to serve someone someway, even out of town.

Today we took the kids to Wonder Works. While we were there, I ran to the bathroom by myself. There was a little girl in there by herself who just looked up at me by the sink. I asked if she needed my help and she said she did.

One of the things I have been praying for is being in the right place at the right time to help someone. It may not seem like a big deal but I think it was for that little girl.

Day 26

Another crazy day here. Jonathan got invited to a birthday party this morning so we squeezed that into our plans. We have been dog sitting the last two weeks which has been so much fun for all of us. Today we returned Tabby to her home and then drove down to Knoxville (1 1/2 hours) to pick up her family. We were going to go out to dinner with them but their kids got sick so they headed home in their car and we took our kids out and then told them we were going to take a different way home. We surprised them by going to Pigeon Forge, TN. I had reserved a hotel here that we are having some family time before the chaos begins next week again.  

It was so fun to listen to the kids as we drove into town. Some of them didn't catch on until we pulled up to a hotel where I went in "to see if they had a room for us". I can't wait to see it in the daylight. I've wanted to come here as a family since we moved to Tennessee and am so excited to have time with our little family. 

Day 25

Today before we left Clays moms home, I was able to talk to her.  She's going through quite a transition right now which I know is very difficult for her. She's really been struggling with her finances and not getting the help she needs to get things done so I know she really appreciated us taking the time to come down to help her. When we left I loaded up some things she wants me to try to sale online for her. I hope I can help her and that it will sell quickly. After everyone is back in school, that's my new job. :)

Day 24

For today I took one of my nieces and Christina out to go shopping and lunch. I really haven't spent much time alone with this niece so it was fun to get to know her better.   Christina and I don't get much time to get out alone either so I know she really enjoyed the time with just me.