Twilight-Headed Oscars -Mr. Ginger Style

We're altering reality for the night to say that Twilight was nominated for an Oscar. And not only was it nominated, but it was the ONLY movie nominated. And each character is nominated for their roles in the movie. To make this post extra special, we called in Mr. Ginger, as our special Twilight-Headed Oscar Correspondent. He spent months in isolation to come up with these very important categories and to pick the winners.




Hello Twilight-Headed readers! I would like to start by saying any photoshop work where heads are swapped or placed where they're not supposed to be has been done under duress. (Ginger is a real whip cracker) I take pride in all my work that doesn't show up on this website. But seriously folks, we're here for the awards. These awards have been given great thought and consideration. Not by me, of course because I just threw them together. So without further ado, grab a blanket and some ambien and read on...

*Best studdering performance by a lead actress in a hospital bed after a near-fatal encounter with a vampire goes to... Bella

*Sexiest use of a microscope in a scene involving a microscope goes to.... Edward

*Best performance while constipated goes to ... Jasper

*Best use of a bat to hypnotize the audience into forgetting the constipated performance.... Jasper.

*Best performance for having most of his lines cut out of the movie.... Emmett

*Best use of fictitious beer in a movie with vampires... Charlie

*Most skillful use of a kitty meow while sitting on a boat surrounded by vampires... Butt Crack Santa

*Best performance in a scene while his own music was playing in the background... Edward

*Best use of "stink eye" to stare down a vampire while driving a vehicle and being paralyzed... Billy

*Most annoying use of "La Push" in a movie set in the Pacific Northwest... Asian guy

*Best use of wheelchair guy to carry your beer... Charlie

*Best Native American performance by a Non-Native American under the age of 18... Jacob

*Most unnecessary use of cleavage in a scene that didn't call for cleavage... Boob friend

*Best performance by a vampire without a shirt or with slightly opened shirt... James

*Best performance by a short haired African American portraying a dread locked African British vampire who was supposed to be a short haired Frenchman... Laurent

*Best use of a character at the prom that wasn't at the prom in the book... Victoria

*Best performance of "bow chicka wow wow" while shaking butt in restaurant window... Mike Newton

*Best tree limb walking performance by a vampire wearing a wig... Alice

*Best tree rubbing performance by a vampire in a stressful situation... Rosalie

*Best performance by an actress pretending to be a mother to people her same age... Esme

*Best use of white makeup to appear even more pale than everyone else... Carlisle.

Well, now that you've made it through, I hope all your favorites were winners. Come back next year for more award randomness with a New Moon flavor. Thank you and goodnight.