Love and Pride

Sunshine told me tonight that some kids were not nice to her. Ouch. How can kids not be nice to my precious little girl. I mean, I get it, kids sometimes aren't nice. Everybody has experienced teasing of some kind. But, my little angel girl only knows that people love her. Why should that change? So, I asked her who it was, like I would go right out and fix it. She has squabbles sometimes with friends, cousins, and definitely Duckie, but this was the first time that as I put her to bed she opened up to me about kids being mean. Where did it come from? When? Who?

It makes my heart sad. One of my greatest desires for her is to have truly good friends and that she will also be a good friend to others. I suppose that I can't shield her from heart break or mean people but I don't have to like it. In not these exact words I told her tonight: 1. that not everybody will love her like I do, 2. that some people aren't nice and should have to go to "the corner" 3. that we still need to be kind to others because it makes us feel better than being unkind and 4. that she will make many good friends despite the others that will not be good friends. Why can't we all just love each other the way a mom does.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how "every" mom loves her child but that others just don't feel the same way. It is a gift from God to love. It is impossible to express how much love I have for my kids. I babysit sometimes. Sometimes it is hard. One day as I was feeding a visiting child I was overwhelmed with gratitude for being home with my girls and not out at some job. I know that everybody can't do that and so I am very very grateful that I can be at home to love my children like nobody else could. (And as a disclaimer: Because love is a gift, I know that non-biological parents can have the same blessing of love as any birth parent maybe even more so. I have no doubt that children brought into a home through adoption, etc. can have the most loving of parents. And just because I am in my home with my children doesn't mean I am always the best parent for them. I just know that I love them a ton.)

When I was called to be relief society pres. at BYU I felt almost immediately a gift of love for the sisters in my ward. It was such a powerful experience for me to feel that love rush over me that I think that might have been the only reason I ever had that calling. I wasn't a very good pres. in a lot of ways, but I did love those girls. My heart was tender for them. I prayed for them. Do you think then that it might be possible for us to all love each other like a mom does?

There are many children in the world that don't have love. I was almost in tears the other day when a song called "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood was playing. The beginning is about a foster kid being passed around. It made me want to take all "those" kids home with me. Could I really be that mom?

I dated a guy once who told me after I made a comment about somebody maybe in a bit unloving way that the person was one of us. He had to explain what he meant: that person was also a child of God, also loved by a mom (hopefully), also trying to do their best. That person that I had looked down on = child of God. Oh!! How could I think that I was somehow above anybody else. I think about that a lot now. I kind of like to think that we are all just doing the best we can. We will all have pains, sorrows, and challenges. We each mess up. We each need a Savior.

I have pride issues. I have mentioned this before and maybe more will come hereafter. My name is ... Thorpe and I am prideful. I didn't always know that the universal sin was mine too. I didn't think when I heard a talk or read a scripture about pride that it was talking about me. I think that I could have been a better friend to many if I had known then what I know now. I have a problem.

Sometimes I think that my motivation for things is still too often attached to what somebody will think about me, rather than what God will think of me. Or as a parent I want my kids to be the best as compared with others. Really, what is that? Why do I want my kids to be better? Better at what? Why don't I just want them to be them, their best? Isn't that ok. Aren't my kids still children of God for better or worse. Divine daughters. Shouldn't I be teaching them that more than anything, anything else.

Where is the balance between pushing and encouraging? Where is the balance between what I want for them and who they are inside? I think that I have good desires but maybe a little misguided. Helping them reach their potential should be more important than how they compare with others. But how do you not compare? And with the comparing not belittle somebody in the process? Is that what I want to teach my kids, that their success must come by way of others failures? Or maybe they are a failure because somebody else succeeded? Isn't that what causes so much meanness and hatred?

There is a new show on TV called "Parenthood". I would not necessarily recommend it but I have seen bits and pieces that have made me think. For example, one of the moms is a high-powered lawyer, a go-getter, a Type-A. You know the type. Her daughter has a friend and when they play, the daughter is always the maid or cook while the friend is the princess. The daughter is perfectly content with that situation but the mom wants her daughter to be the princess. Why not, right? Well at the next play group they try it and it all just fails miserably. The friend strikes or has a mutiny or something and takes the crown back. A dad on the show finds out that his son has autism and asks when and how it can be fixed. You see I think every parent desperately wants the best for their child. The problem is that as parents we might not know what that is. We must therefore seek help from a higher power. You can be as good of a person as maid or princess, right?

I know this post was all jumbled up and not written very effectively (see how humble I am now). But, it is really hard to explain in words all the parental thoughts, personal defects, and spiritual feelings coursing through my weak mind and heart.

Please forgive the ramblings of a crazy mommy.

I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home

Glad as I can be!

Notice none of the pictures are of Daddy because he is the one spraying the girls. We love our backyard. We love our garden that Daddy waters every day. We love that sometimes we can get a little water ourselves.

Sunshine doesn't really like the water sprayed at her.

Duckie wants it sprayed at her all day.

Sometimes they are so different.

Our little water slide.

We just got these camping chairs for the girls.

They also serve as patio furniture.

This video makes me laugh every time. Duckie is just so funny and I absolutely love J's laugh at the end.

Zions National Park (Last Hurrah with Joey)

This is at Weeping Rock (really cool, short hike). Even though you can't see it the rock is making it rain, it isn't a waterfall. I mean we are walking up and there is water falling from the sky onto us. It was incredible. I bet this is a favorite place during summer. According to Joey the water takes thousands of years to percolate through the layers of rock and then it comes to this impermeable layer so it shoots out of the rock layers above but maybe because of the breeze or the pressure of it coming out it seems to rain. Very cool.

The next hike we did was the River Walk. This is the entrance to "the Narrows" but is open for all. Duckie is quite comfortable in her new gear as you can plainly see.

Is that spectacular? Look at that cliff.

This was Duckie and Sunshine's favorite part of Zions. We played at the river edge throwing, splashing, skipping, and hurling rocks into the murky water. We were a bit nervous about the possible gardia (because a certain nephew was just treated for that) getting on the girls hands and thus in their mouths. But, we are just a little paranoid so they still played in the water and had a blast even though their fingers were going to freeze. I think that Joey took the prize for the biggest splash and my J took it for most skips.

At lunch time we found an ant hill. My J can't resist a good ant torturing actually they were watching these ants carry "large" food pieces accidently dropped on them into their tunnels.  Ants are extremely strong you know.

So, yes we went to Zions but we didn't camp. Is that a little crazy? I am not the planner of that either, I don't need a hotel. But it was nice and there was a great breakfast. After our day trip we went to our room and relaxed a bit. I had brought things for the girls to do (paper, makers, stickers, games, books, etc.) but what they really enjoyed was playing hide and seek. Duckie hasn't ever been so "into" the game. She was actually playing with Sunshine. It was so cute. A second before I got out the camera Sunshine was on the top shelf. Isn't that how it always is, I mean for all the great pictures that I get, I sure miss some incredible moments. I hope that we get to keep them forever in our memories in the eternities. Cuz will we have scrapbooks there? I don't think so. And it is hard to really capture the essence of a child in a picture. They are cuter in real life.

The next day we went for a couple more hikes. This is at the end of the Canyon Overlook hike. There were several people getting a little too close to edge in J's mind and he was almost sick to his stomach of it. I guess I was making him a bit nervous too especially with a heavy weight on my back. It was an awesome view. I would recommend this hike.

Joey pointing out the rock types just like his dad.

The Tunnel. Sunshines other favorite part. It is awesome.

Here we had lunch and tossed the football around. How cool is it to have this great grass field with the cliffs just shooting up all around you. Loved it here.

Emerald Pool. Very cool. I wish that we could have done the further stop but when nature calls on a little girl, you have to get going.

Rocking out.

On the way home we stopped to visit grandma. It was nice to see her again and she seemed to be doing rather well. We also had a couple of good laughs at Timo's expense.

My Birthday Adventure

So, I have been telling J that I would like to go on more family adventures/outings, nothing fancy or expensive just time together out somewhere. He decided that I needed a new back pack for Duckie in order to go on our adventures easily. I don't know how the rest of you do it but instead of using this...

 (note: we never actually used this except for playing one night. Isn't she the cutest?)

now we get to use this.... TA DA!! I am so excited. I love it. It is suppose to hold upto fifty pounds of child. That means Sunshine could even ride in it for a couple of years. But we really want her to walk.  Even though it was way more than I would have liked to spend on my birthday present, it was a really good deal. And the results are just what I wanted. I had the perfect birthday. My little family spent the day together. The day was beautiful, we have to hurry and get as many outings as possible before it is unbearable to even be outside at all.

This is a human sun dial. You stand on the month brick and where-ever your shadow points is the time of day.

We actually saw a cardinal, not a football player but a bird. The branch was always in the way of getting the perfect picture but isn't that just cool.

I love wild flowers. These were everywhere. There were awesome bright pink ones I loved but no picture, sorry folks. 

This is a  hawk that was visiting the State Park also.

Toothpick Cactus. OOOwwwch!

Love the shades!

Sunshine and her hiking boots.

Later, my sis had us all over for cake and ice cream. Thanks! I can't believe how old I am. J loves this because he is three years younger although few people would ever guess that (because he is so mature, ha ha). I have learned a lot in my thirty two years but I certainly still feel like a kid. I thought you were suppose to know everything by this age. 

We Believe Part 3 & 4

This and That

Lehi Day Celebration. Sunshine got to go for a ride. She wasn't even nervous. I was proud. Duckie on the other hand was not having it. There was also a cute little petting zoo.

Our new neice / cousin is Sunshine's favorite in the whole world. She will seriously hold her forever. She started crying when Logan came and took his turn. She has such a big tender heart. Love it.

Daddy's Birthday. He got himself a new sleeping bag. Apparently, he needed one for lower temps. What I love is how he is always so excited about everything. Like when I got my new phone I didn't even open the box  until he made me. And he tracked his phone shipment all the time and even wanted me to plug his phone in as soon as it was delivered (which I did wrong, if that is even possible).

My sis. Isn't she cute. Can't wait for the little baby to come. I was there for the first and I thought that it was the most awesome miraculous experience. I cried. I could do that for a job. I mean what a cool job to welcome fresh baby spirits into the world.

We found a little friend. After going inside for awhile and greeting daddy coming home from work, Sunshine went to show him our discovery but to her utter dismay he could not be found. She was convinced that he must have turned into a butterfly and flown away. She was in tears. Is this girl emotional or what?