Rizal's Mother, The Moth Story and You

I’ve been very weak throughout these years.  Emotionally, mentally and physically.  There are times even spiritually. I get tempted easily. I also cry and breakdown a lot. I easily get hurt.  And I try to seek revenge on those who hurt me or my loved ones. I’m trying to change. But we all have our kryptonite. No matter how strong we think we are, there are still those things that instantly trigger our weaknesses.  Some are guilty pleasures. Those that we try to avoid but we seem can’t.  We may be successful at times and when we think we’re durable enough to face them, they return to us hard and pushing us down to our knees while feeling helpless.

We were taught at school about the moth story that Teodora Alonzo told to the then young Jose Rizal, her son. According to well-known historian Dr. Ambeth Ocampo, when Lolay couldn't get Pepe to focus reading a Spanish book entitled "El Amigo de Los Ninos", she shifted in telling him a story. Then she succeeded taking Pepe's attention. 

Burning oil lamp

 




It's initially understood as a story of disobedience between a young lad and his elder. You probably are familiar with what happened to the young moth in the story. It got too attracted to the burning light of the oil lamp despite warnings from the older moth not to get too close to the fire. So its wings caught fire, burned and it died. While hearing the story from his mother, Rizal was actually watching the moths flying around their table lamp. And it indeed got too close to the fire and shared the fate of the young moth in the story.

Another angle that historians thought that could have affected Rizal's thinking was how daring the moth became to go beyond the limits. To search for further knowledge outside the norms and trying to go beyond its comfort zone while risking danger that goes with all of it. Which is actually what happened to Rizal for knowing too much and saying too much that he gained the ire of the nation's colonial government then which eventually put him to death.

There's definitely a lot of wisdom you can get from that simple moth story  and I think I can see another one. I can relate this to the usual overestimation of our own self-control. We always think that we are above our urges. We supposedly are. Though being around the trigger is never a good thing to test it. Just like how the moth enthralled by the beauty of the burning light, we will all get sucked into the fire if we continuously play with it.

It is like a temptation for a wrong relationship. Though fully aware of it being wrong, we hear people saying they are just trying to be friendly. Ignoring the risk of getting deeper into it thinking that they are in control, they continue with it.  And then got burned later as expected.

It's cool if you're burning like this.

Then there are youth starting out with vices thinking that it's just part of their "growing up years".  Pressured by peers, they tried it while thinking they can easily get out after the first try. They think they are strong and different. Because nothing happened at the first time, they tried again. And again.  And again. And they got burned.

Then there's someone who gets a business proposal. An illegal one. Just a one-time big-time thing as he's told. It will earn big bucks and very low risk of being caught at all. Salivating by the idea of huge amounts of money, he jumped in. And it happened as promised.  They earned big and didn't get caught. After a while, he was asked for another shot. It was good at first so the wall of hesitation slowly crumbled. Then it became a part of his system. He's gaining big and not getting caught.  Until he got burned.

Are you the young or the older moth?

The burning light is beautiful, tempting, attractive but always dangerous. We think that we are in control then we try to play around the fire until it becomes a habit too hard to break. It is always too late to notice that families get broken, people get addicted to vices and illegal doers get caught, arrested or get killed. It's always too late to realize that our wings are already burning.

I’m still trying to work around the kryptonites of my life.  I guess I’ll simply accept that I’m weak. If I’ll be more aware that I am too weak to face them or even just to get near them, then I might just go avoiding them at all. At the onset, I’ll be staying away. Because I am weak.  And by being conscious of my weaknesses, it will now become a part of my strength.

By the way, you can be the “older moth” and warn the others about the dangers of the fire by sharing this blog post. Thanks.

The Endangered “Reading Filipino” Species

I love reading. Or maybe it’s an understatement; I think I’m addicted to it. I rarely drop by at bookstores without purchasing at least one book. For me, it is an investment where the returns are in multitudes for a lifetime.  I don’t have discrimination on what to read. As long as it captures my interest, I’ll definitely grab it. My collections aren’t all that serious stuffs. There are even comic books in it. My first reading addiction by the way is with Filipino komiks that my mom bought weekly.

Many think that a person who reads much has this sense of confidence for knowing a lot of things. But in contrast, more reading comes with the realization that human knows very little of this world and that there’s still a lot to explore; thus the hunger to read more. The more books read the more intellectually humble a person becomes. While for those who read a few and contented with the knowledge they gain from it are actually those who are endangered being trapped in the thinking that they almost know everything. Thus with the saying “A little knowledge is a dangerous thing”. Probably, this is the main reason why we now have a lot of opinionated Filipinos who lack sound judgment and proper balance on their views. We now have less Filipino readers. This is a sad truth to what historian Ambeth Ocampo exclaimed, that “Rizal wrote a lot for a nation that does not read.”

During the yesteryears, reading was just a normal activity as what watching TV to this generation is. And now, I’m saddened by the fact that it is being regarded differently by some; three things, first as a trend, second as a status symbol and lastly as a total nuisance or waste of time.

A lot of people now read certain books simply because it’s the “in” thing. It’s like a genre that they aren’t even interested before but suddenly have the urge to read it because a lot of people already were. Bandwagon. Well at least, it might bring hope to those who were previously non-readers to have an interest in reading other types of books other than those which are “in”.  I hope that they don’t just treat reading as a fad, because fad fades.

Reading as a status symbol is another “culture” that is slowly creeping in to the Filipino’s subconscious. Some think and act that reading is only for certain social classes, intellects, professions, etc. Reading is for everybody and it should stay that way.

And worst than those two are the people who thinks reading is just a waste of time. And then goes saying that lessons can be learnt better on living their daily lives. I agree that valuable lessons in life can be learned by experiencing it. But isn’t it that most books share the experiences and lessons that the authors gained for the readers’ consumption? It’s better to learn from the mistakes of others rather than experience it again myself.

History tells us how reading changed our country in the past. Books, novels, propagandas that were read by people then changed the landscape of this country, mostly for good but some for bad. There were even times that our people were deprived the liberty to read the materials of their choice but now that we have that freedom, we seemed not so interested in taking advantage of it. There were also decades that reading is the number one past time and the primary source of entertainment of our populace, but that part of history is now long gone.

Like a pre-historic animal, those parts of our history are now extinct. The probability for them to be brought back is close to zero. For the animals maybe by DNA cloning or something artificial but naturally, it’s close to impossible. But reading is not totally dead. It’s not yet extinct, just endangered. We still have time to save reading as part of the normal Filipino lives. So while some people are shouting “save the dolphins”, “save the eagles”, “save the forest”, let me say “save the ‘reading Filipino specie’ from extinction”!



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