Castlevania Cab Parts One and Two

So a couple weeks ago Night Train, Choo Choo Train, and myself get into a cab and there was a rather lovely young woman from Romania driving.  I told her she talked exactly like Bela Lugosi, only prettier.  I asked if she was an actual vampire, and she played along and we agreed that driving cabs at night is the perfect job for her, so long as she puts the cab away and gets safe and sound into her coffin before the sun comes out and fries her up like an egg.  When we were setting up the payment, she said she could take it out in blood, at which time I didn't hesitate to offer up my forearm for her to extract some type O negative.  

Fast forward one week later, and would you believe that the three of us get into a cab and who should be driving again?  That's right.  Sexy Bela Lugosi.  Of all the cabs in Chicago and the same three guys get into a cab with the exact same driver?  The odds of this occurring are astronomical.  I'm convinced she has vampire powers.  I'm scared.  I think I'll take the bus from now on . . . 

Just imagine this.  Only not a man, not ugly, and no butt-chin.

Death Cab for Kenny

I had one of those awful nights on Saturday night in which I had too many places to be, so I ended up spending more money on cabs than I did on drinks. As I was cold and standing outside of my third location, looking for a cab home, I was excited to see an available cabbie finally approaching. I walked towards it, but a group consisting of two girls and a guy tried to run in front of me, somehow claiming that it was their cab. The Gancer did not see it that way . . .

The two girls darted into the cab, one in front and one in back, and and I tried to do the same, but the dude grabbed me by the waist. I kept my legs moving and was able to skirt him and dive into the cab, saying, "I guess we're splitting this thing, cause I'm not going anywhere."

They were going to a location WAY out of the way for me, and I'm sure I could have gotten out at a busy intersection and got my own cab, but these people rubbed me the wrong way, so I wanted to give them some shit back. The dude called me a yuppie, to which I responded, "Look at your sweater! Plus you probably make double what I make." Then the girl in the back seat pulled up my shirt and gave me titty twisters! Then the guy in the back got into an argument with the girl in the front, and guy in the back storms out of the cab before reaching the destination!

I need to be more careful with who I piss off. I could have came out of that situation with more severe injuries than sore nips.