March.
Meazi has had a couple of 'just home' behavior days; tantrums, meltdowns, and sleep disruptions. These seemed so out of place. Meazi has been so content for the last couple of months. The intensity of these 'off' days caused me to remark, "I wonder if it is an anniversary of something for her?" Many, many, of the adoptive moms on our old adoption agency forum used to post that their children had a very hard time on anniversaries of certain events (i.e. The day they were brought to the orphanage, the day they left Ethiopia etc).
I paused to remember what might have happened to Meazi and Melese around this time.
March.
I looked through my own calendar from last year. It is pretty empty.
Back before we had a referral, I remember during the waiting, when I had had a particularly hard day, friends would say, "Maybe your children are going through something." I always brushed this off as ridiculous. How could I possibly be feeling something for children I knew nothing about?
One day last March, I woke up horribly sad. It was more than a depressed feeling. I had a sadness so deep, and I had no idea where it was coming from. I knew it was not about me. Something external was happening. I felt so much despair. I went over to my calendar and scribbled the word tragic on the day's date. I knew something was happening to my future children whose names and story I had yet to learn. Tragic. I felt it.
In our referral information we found out that within forty-eight hours of that day, the tragedy that caused our children to be put up for adoption occurred.
March was a really bad month for Meazi and Melese.
I am hoping that March goes out like a lamb.
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