A Birthday and Some Bawling

Before today, I cried a total of two times about my mom’s Alzheimer’s disease. Once when I found out three years ago and once when we left Utah to move to California. I can usually make it through Mother’s Day and other holidays without feeling too bad. I don’t know why I cried like a big baby about it today. There is something about my birthday that makes me want to call my mom and have her tell me the story where we are both the stars. The story about my birthday. Mom used to love to tell about how my hair was black as night when I was born and suddenly grew in as white as snow without the black falling out. I guess she joked around to someone in her ward that she took me to the salon. Suddenly it was all around that Mara Dee took her baby to get a professional color job. She told that story so much that I used to roll my eyes when I was older. I can’t believe how much I long for her to tell me that story again in her own words with her own voice using her own memories. There are other things I miss too. I miss that way that my mom loves me. I know she still does but I guess I miss the conversations and other little things. I like the way she would listen if I was sad. I like the way she made vanilla ice cream with bananas and milk when I was sick. I even miss how annoying she was when she got all stressy over little things. I even miss her crabby face. (Now I am thinking about it more, maybe not her crabby face but most everything else.) I miss being annoyed with her and I miss talking with her. I’m not sure what loss teaches me always. I appreciate her more now but unfortunately it is a little too late to enjoy her the way she used to be. I am still learning what the benefit might be.

Nicky just came in a few minutes ago and announced, “Mommy I love you.” How quickly my little guys pull me out of my self-pity and put a smile on my face. Jeff has been such a sweetheart today and has made my birthday so special. I love my little family.

Such is life. I feel there is always something to cry over and something always to be happy with. Someone helped Mom call later tonight. After a short conversation where I did most the talking, she told me she loved me. It meant so much. I am filled with gratitude that she is my mother and I am so glad that I have had 31 years to experience the wonderful life she gave me. I hope that I can make her proud with the kind of life I will make.



Here is a copy of a copy or something like that of an old picture of us. I don't know why it is funny and cute that she got in one of those photo booths with a baby.

Nicky's First Movie

Nicky filmed her first feature film today at the beach. Make sure your sound is turned on when you watch.

Spotlight: Desi

Today I would like to put the spotlight on my friend and niece Desi. Desi is turning 13 this November and is starting 7th grade. I can’t believe it! I have known and loved Desi since she was a baby. I had the opportunity to work for my brother and sister-in-law as their nanny and housekeeper so I got a lot of time with Desi when she was little.


Here is a picture of two-year old Desi. At this age, Desi began to show signs of the person she would become. She used to open her arms as wide as they would go and tell me that she loved me “too much.” I remember that the bright spot of my day used to be going to her house and caring for her and her brothers and sisters. The neat thing is that those relationships have continued well past the years when I was with the kids on a daily basis.

Desi is one of the sweetest and most fun of all the girls I know. She is so kind as evidenced by the fact that I have never heard her say anything mean about anyone. She is always up for doing anything I ask her. When we visited in May, Desi blew bubbles for Nicky for hours on end and never complained. She loved to make Nicky happy. She loves to talk to Nicky on the phone and Nicky loves to talk to her. Desi is a good friend. She recently organized and created a scrapbook for her 6th grade teacher’s wedding. Desi is always up for making someone else happy. I can’t remember liking my 6th grade teacher enough to do something like that.

Here are some pictures of some of my favorite times with Desi.

In September 2002 we took Desi, her cousin Jordan, and brother BG to Timpanogas cave. I remember laughing so hard as I watched Jordan and Desi (at age 7) consult their map and try to give us directions on the trail.

In this other picture, Desi is making an “experiment” with dry ice with her brothers BG and Scottie. (Nice nun porcelain doll in my Mom's doll collection cabinet!) Desi can be a little stinker too. She helped me a few times play practical jokes on people including her Grandmother. Remember the knocking on her windows at night and hiding?

Well there are too many stories and memories to detail here but I would just like to express my gratitude that there are beautiful people like Desi in this world. When there is such an emphasis in the news on everything negative, it is wonderful to know that someone as sweet, fun, and precious as Desi exists. I only need think of Desi’s beautiful smile and funny laugh to feel a little happier during the day.

Date Night at the Marine Room

I bought this sparkly-movie starish shirt last month with the intention of taking it back. For one, it opens up all immodestly in the back and for two it is way impractical as it can only be worn a handful of places (church definitely not included). And where else do I go really? However, I found myself taking the tags off yesterday and putting it on despite my reservations. Jeff safety pinned it in the back so a nice Mormon girl could wear it. The kids were text book good yesterday and went to bed early. So off we went to the Marine Room. I have never been to a restaurant with such a beautiful view of the ocean. It wasn't overlooking the beach but it was right ON the beach. You can see the waves lapping up the sand right toward the window whilst you ate your dinner.

And the dinner was GOOD. Here's a pic of me with my food. They had it arranged all cool with a hole-infested cracker hovering like a flag over the most delicious fish I have ever had. We both thoroughly enjoyed almost everything on our plate. Afterwards while we were walking along the beach, we felt ourselves feeling a heavy buyers remorse for having spent such a large chunk of cash on one meal...but hey...we made it five years and we had two kids. We have to reward ourselves sometimes.

A Pedicure

I let Nicky paint my toenails tonight. As you can see she pretty much got the nails and all the skin on each toe too. As she painted each toe she kept singing, "this is my sacred duty" from "I Love to See the Temple." I don't know why she was singing that one line but I was cracking up so much.

Betrothed at Branbury

Next weekend is mine and Jeff's 5th anniversary. I was looking at old dating photos today and I can tell how much time has gone by just by looking at my old youthful self. I was so unscathed by childbirth and sleep deprivation. How lovely I looked! Jeff looks a little younger too. The above picture is of Branbury Park. It's the apartment complex in Provo where Jeff and I met seven and half years ago. It has a horrible reputation for all kinds of debauchery and was taken off the BYU approved list a couple of years ago. But it was the backdrop of our little friendship that turned into our great love affair. We always drive by when we are town and reminisce about our old roommates and adventures at Branbury.

One of my favorite memories with Jeff is the time that he came and got me and we went to the bowling alley and bought some old bowling pins. We took them back to Branbury and set them up in the parking lot and invited all our friends to come bowling with a basketball. After that was all over, Jeff and I took the bowling pins and set them all over my apartment in random places. I don't know why we thought it was so funny but both of us were laughing so hard I thought I was going to really pee my pants. I think it was just the randomness of it and that my roommates would come in and wonder why bowling pins were everywhere.

Jeff has always been so fun to be around and so easy to be around. He has a peaceful feeling around him. He is such a peacemaker and so kind hearted. Before I met him, I was always a bundle of anxiety. Just being around him all the time calms me down. He is just so dang adorable too. I am so glad we got married and even though we met at Branbury, I feel no shame.

So that is my rant and flashback Friday. I hope the kids behave next weekend so we can go do something fun without them.

Andy's Checkup

Andy was a pleasant boy today despite the fact that he had a checkup today and two shots. He is a good boy. Nicky enjoyed her visit to see her Dr. Ou. She presented Dr. Ou and Nurse Sue with a personalized drawing and a copy of the picture of her playing doctor. They loved the pictures and put them up on the bulletin board in the hall. Dr. Ou came in and looked Andy over. He is still around 85% for his height, weight, and head. He is a our big boy. He needs to work on his motor skills such as standing up more but Dr. Ou says to give him a little extra time since he was premature.

Whilst Dr. Ou was checking Andy over, Nicky took the liberty to do the same to Dr. Ou. She was caressing Dr. Ou's shoes, pants, and hair. It makes me laugh how authentic kids are. Nicky treats everyone the same even if there are co-pays and PHDs involved. Dr. Ou and her nurse are so good with the kids. It has been so sweet to watch Nicky forget her fear of doctors (after the catheter) and treat the members of the clinic like beloved family members.

Road Trippin'

A 12 hour drive yesterday was the finale to our fun filled trip to Dublin to visit Jeff’s parents this week. You never know what kind of behavior you’ll get from the kids on road trips. We made the brilliant decision to drive up to Jeff’s parents at night (the night before the 4th) so that the kids would sleep and we could drive in relative peace. They both decided to remain awake. Nicky was happy as long as her three Barney DVDs were on rotation but Andy wasn’t very happy and let us know with much crying. When we arrived at 1 a.m. we were all exhausted. However, Nicky saw Miko (the dog), Fluffy (the cat), and Anthony’s (her cousin) plethora of toys and she decided she wasn’t tired anymore. She didn’t conk out until 6 a.m. Both kids started colds as soon as we got to Grandmas as usually happens on any trip. Needless to say we spent most of the 4th of July trying to recover from a long night. A heat wave hit the Bay Area during our trip so we partied at Tammy’s pool during the 105 degree day and then went to the park to watch fireworks.

Jeff’s parents are so good with traditions and always have a BBQ every 4th and go to the same park to watch fireworks. They even made homemade rocky road ice cream this year. Yummy! We let off our own fireworks too but decided to let some of our illegal things rest considering the heat wave and the fact that we are responsible parents now. Nicky loved the fireworks this year but she loved the bubble gun that Aunt Tammy brought more. Here is a picture of her and her cousin Emma and Anthony and many other random kids enjoying the bubbles.

At the end of our trip we embarked on the annual Camacho family camping trip. We had originally planned to camp in Modesto but since the heat wave showed up we headed up for camping in the mountains near San Mateo. It was beautiful the first night under the huge redwoods. However by morning, it was pretty cold and raining. This was Andy’s first camping trip. The four-man tent that used to seem pretty big when we were first married, now seems really small with the two kids sleeping with us. However it was fun sleeping with the whole team in the tent. I loved hearing Andy's little sighs and Nicky's snoring. The kids slept really well and Jeff and I would have slept better had the air mattress remained inflated and the woodpeckers had hung out elswhere. All part of the fun of camping! There was some forgetting of cooking supplies so Daniel made delicious bacon over tinfoil on the fire. Jeff made hot chocolate by covering his Mom's kettle with a couple of layers of tinfoil and setting it on the flames. I still want to try my hard boiled eggs bake potato style sometime.

Here's a picture of Nicky after she created little mounds of dirt over all the picnic tables. I had to laugh because everyone kept wondering where the dirt came from. The kids started to lose it yesterday from all the excitement and sleep deprivation so we decided to leave the camping at noon and let them nap a little in the car. We thought we would be home by 7 or 8 ish but instead we were trapped in the car for extra hours when we ran into construction. Andy wailed a lot and also made a complimentary barf so there were many stops. By 7:30 the car was quiet and Jeff and I decided to make a switch of drivers quickly. Jeff is so funny and refers to sleeping kids as “sleeping beasts.” If you wake the beasts before they are ready to be woken than they inflict much misery with their crying. We stopped the car and opened the doors as quiet as ninjas but the sleeping beast #2 (Andy) woke anyway and wailed for another 45 minutes before he went back to sleep. Poor Jeff had to make the whole drive pretty much by himself and we had to hold full bladders for fear of stopping the car and hearing the crying again. We held everything until midnight when we finally pulled up to our house.

Even though the trip home was a little miserable, I liked the fact that the long drive gave me time to consider my blessings and how grateful we are to have a family that has fun traditions we can be a part of. The camping trips are always eventful and it is always nice to get everyone together. I love making smores and telling and hearing funny stories around the campfire. Thanks to the Camachos for making another memorable camping trip and keeping up traditions every year. Nicky can't stop asking for her Grandma Karen and Grandpa. She loves getting to know her family better and she loves her cousins and aunts and uncles.

Enjoy it Boy!

I don’t think I’ll ever understand why some babies come down with absolutely no idea when they are supposed to sleep and how. Must they sleep deprive us mothers who are only trying to selflessly give them a little life? They have all kinds of sleep books to teach you how to teach your baby to sleep with crying and without. The problem is my kids never do what the book says they are supposed to after the method is employed. I think someone should send a manual down for each baby as I have learned they operate with their own set of rules. For example, Andy loves his crib for nighttime but despises the sight of it for daytime sleepiness. Andy sleeps in my bed, in my arms, in the car, or in the stroller. Never his bed! This is a picture of him waking with a big yawn from his nap in his makeshift pillow-barricade on my bed. I know this little setup is another ER visit waiting to happen! One of these days Andy may start moving and it just might be when he is unsupervised in a situation such as this on our high bed.

One of Nicky’s favorite phrases is, “enjoy it Boy!” She says this to Andy every time she gives him a toy or sticks a piece of food in his mouth. I think I’m going to take her advice and enjoy my chubby cute Boy even though he frustrates me with his naughty sleeping habits.