My memories of May have thwarted my attempts at updating this blog many times. Even now, I want to skip this month because of the feelings these memories evoke. Here goes.
Interviews were going well and I had a flyback for a job in Charleston, South Carolina the first week in May. I had arranged to fly out on a Saturday so I could spend Sunday getting a sense of whether moving to SC was a good decision for me. I loved visiting this place. But was it a place I should live?
The answer came as I was packing for the trip. I felt restless, uneasy, anxious. I didn't recognize the feelings for what they were. It took traveling across the country to really figure it out, but I knew something was wrong even before I got on the plane. I arrived to the city rather late that day and only had time to grab some dinner before heading to my hotel.
The next morning, I felt sick. That feeling of "What am I doing here?!" and "I'm crazy for thinking I could move here. I'd have no social life!" kept hounding me. I found a local church building and was so grateful it was Fast Sunday. I needed that extra help. I remember talking to a woman in the hallway about why I was in town and I think the combination of my mom being out of the country and me needing just to talk, I ended up spilling everything to this woman. By the time I slowed down and gave her a chance to speak, she summed up all my feelings in one phrase: You already know the answer. And she was right. I knew. But I hadn't figured that out yet.
After church, I drove up to Cypress Gardens and walked around. It was kind of drizzly but I was still able to get some good pictures and have time to think about what I really wanted.
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| Cypress Gardens |
I decided to take a drive into the city and walk around. I was thinking a lot about Elder Eyring's talk from the last general conference about pavilions and wondered what that meant for me. As I was walking along the battery, a couple stopped me. They had just gotten engaged and asked if I would take their picture. An interesting moment happened for me then. I realized the Lord was sending me a message that he was aware of me and what I really wanted in life. I had no guarantee of getting what I wanted, but I knew the Lord would take care of me, and much like Elder Eyring's daughter-in-law, I finally felt peace after months of anguish.
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| My pavilion moment on the battery; picture is from a trip a few years ago |
The rain began falling soon after that and I ran for my car and drove to my hotel. The rain came and came and came and came, etc. I had never witnessed such a thunderstorm. Definitely a tempest tossed sea. The next morning brought blue, clear skies, so I woke up early and drove to my happy place: the beach.
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| Morning sailboat |
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| Fort Moultrie |
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| Isle of Palms |
The interviews went well. In fact, a week or so later they offered me the job. I couldn't take it. I knew that before I even had the interview. So I continued forward with the job search which included a company in Arlington, Virginia. I had always wanted to live in Virginia but chickened out because it was so far from home and family. On the battery in Charleston, I promised the Lord I would go anywhere he needed me to be, that any location was on the table, so Virginia became a reality of that possibility. By the end of May, all that was left to do was schedule a flyback with this new company. They wanted me to go back the week I was on a family vacation so the interview was postponed to the third week of June.
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| Being silly with work friends |
My sister and her husband planned on moving to California soon and I wanted one more visit to Chicago before they left. Gratefully, Memorial Day weekend gave me that chance. We had a great time seeing the city, playing at home, and eating really good food.
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| wiffle ball+lacrosse+bumper cars=whirlyball |
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| Sisters - Not twins |
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| Love this family |
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| Restaurant entertainment |
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| At the Chicago LDS Temple |
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| Chicago Botanical Gardens |
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| Chicago Botanical Gardens |
