Moment of Clarity

Have you ever been in a relationship where you feel appreciated...sort of, feel like an equal partner...some of the time, feel like nothing gets better than this...maybe? You've gotten comfortable. You know how to play the game. It's working...and yet it's not. That is my current work situation. Much like a dating relationship that's good but still lacking in key elements. You've given it a good nine months of honestly trying. Working hard. Giving all you have. Investing all of your time. Then one day you have a moment of clarity and you realize the other person in the relationship doesn't care one bit if you stay or go. Their words say stay, but their actions show ambivalence. So you start dating other companies. And opportunities fly out of nowhere, well obviously somewhere because you applied for them. Others want you and are willing to double your salary just to have you work for them. All of the sudden your current company starts to look like the lame "sit-on-the-couch and whine-about-life" kind of boyfriend. What you loved about the relationship in the beginning no longer exists. You know the realities of the "cool" guy/company that everyone thinks they want to date/join. Walking away becomes easier the more interviews you have. All of the sudden you remember what it's like to be chased. And even though you know your current relationship could get you fame, recognition, notoriety, you realize those things have never been that important to you. So welcome the first dates/interviews. Embrace the new opportunities. Don't let what feels "good enough" to you and what looks like the "perfect" relationship to the world stop you from finding something that matters so much more.

Freak Out Mode

Yes. That's me right now. I have a second round interview this afternoon and a first round coming up with the possibility of a third. I keep questioning why I want to leave my current job because I do enjoy what I do. Then I remember that worldly notoriety is not what I'm seeking. What I value more is my relationships with friends and family and my current work situation is not really allowing for that. Basically, I've been asked to limit my vacation time and to check in when I'm on vacation. That means I haven't had a real work-free vacation since July. I'm tired. So new job. But these new jobs are on the other side of the country. And I could really do them. And that's a lot of change. And I'm freaking out a bit that this could really be happening.