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Parallel Lives

Today I was reminded once again how similar my life is to a year ago—different situations but parallel in circumstance. Last year on this exact day, the last Monday in March, someone's decision made me mad. Okay not mad. Furious. Outraged. Tasmanian devil, hair on fire, incensed at what had just unfolded. (Someone once asked my sister if she was always happy. She responded, "90% of the time." "What about the other 10%?" "You don't want to see that 10%." That's where I was. At the 10%.) It took me THREE days to calm down! It may have continued longer than that, but the Lord was looking out for me. I was shopping at the Outlets in Park City, standing in GAP, when I heard a voice. "Thamina, either you trust me or you don't." I stopped. What? It came again. "Either you trust me or you don't." I stopped for a second. Realized the simplicity of the statement. Exhaled. And released all anger with that breath. I trusted the Lord. I made some decisions that day that forever changed my life.

We don't get many opportunities in life to have a do-over or a second chance at something, but I found myself in a parallel situation. Someone's actions had an effect on me and I got another shot to "try again." Instead of reacting quickly, I took a moment for me. I thought about what I really wanted, what outcome I was hoping for, and what I needed to do to get that result. I care about this person and didn't want to be mad, even though I had every right to be. I read my scriptures seeking guidance, and I was filled with compassion and kindness as I read about the atonement and the infinite mercy of our Lord and Savior (Thank-you Alma!). I knew then how to respond. Still not sure of the outcome. We'll see on this one. But I'm grateful I had a chance to act differently.

BFFs

I have some of the greatest friends! When something unexpected happened yesterday, two of them immediately reached out to me, one all the way from France! I love my friends!

For those who know what happened yesterday, know that I am fine. I really don't care. I have something else on the horizon that has me preoccupied for the moment. For those that don't know, shoot me an email or text or gchat or phone call. I'm happy to share.

Having amazing friends and family are such a blessing. Love you all!

Thoughts of the Day

Instead of creating a bunch of different blog posts, I thought you'd enjoy the random thoughts that go through my head each day.

A week or so ago, a guy emailed me on an online dating site. He looked like a nice guy so I responded. We emailed a couple of times until the guy's email last night. He gave me a nickname. Not just any nickname. One I detest. I shouldn't judge him for trying to be flirty, but seriously?! He doesn't know me well enough to shorten my name.

At work today, a co-worker explained that she drank hot water because she heard it was better to drink water that was close to body temperature. Now that just sounded weird to me. Hot water was better than cold water? Does your body care? And wouldn't it require more energy to heat up the cold water which would help you lose weight or even speed up your metabolism? I know I'm not a doctor or nutritionist but random health claims always remind me of my sister. Whenever somebody claims something is all natural, her reply is "So is dirt."

This morning as I was laying in bed I decided I wasn't going to do something. Then as I was getting ready, I had a clear thought that went completely contrary to what I said I wasn't going to do. I should learn not to say "I never" but I did start to wonder. When is it a random thought or something I want to do, and when is it a spiritual impression? I'm over 30. You'd think I'd have that figured out by now, but I don't. I decided that something that clear and specific should be acted upon. Better to act then wonder "what if". However, I'm still not sure on this one.

I found this quote today and thought, "Yes! I'm getting there!" I felt like the spirited me was on the comeback. “The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-talking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong.” I read that after I acted on the thought from the morning. Taking a risk and hoping for the best.

Called to Serve

My parents have been called to serve in the Mexico Area Office as the area medical advisor (dad) and assistant to the area medical advisor (mom). They are specifically assigned to the Mexico City East Mission but will serve multiple missions in the area. Thanks to technology all of the family was able to watch or listen to them open the call via Google+ Hangout. I was able to capture my parents' expressions when the call was read. I love my mom's face on the second photo. Mexico was definitely not on the list of expected places. Since my dad is fluent in German we all thought maybe somewhere in Europe but the Lord had other plans. The family is thrilled for my parents!! Fun, exciting times ahead!

Worth the Risk

I've been tagging all my old blog posts so they are more easily searchable. Take a look at the tags along the side. Nice, huh?

As I've been re-living the last four years of my life, I've been fascinated by the person who wrote these blogs. First, she left out a lot of information!! No wonder some of you are confused by her random thoughts. I'm here to tell you there's more to the story than what is written here. Ask her sometime. She's more than happy to let you in on the secret.

Second, this girl was a fighter. My favorite quote so far is "I am grateful for my bull-headed, risk taking, no regrets personality. I believe I have lived a better life because of it." When did I get shy and reserved? Somewhere along the lines that fiery passion got smothered. I know it's still there somewhere and I need to find it. Stoke it. Re-kindle the flame. Build the confidence to take the risks in front of me. I know it's worth it.

Girl Brain on Steroids

This week has been bit of a trying week. We all have those moments when we feel off our game or out of sorts. Add deleting a bunch of documents, pictures, and emails from the past few years and I became a mixed mess of emotions. What's interesting about this situation is my logical, rational brain knew exactly what was going on and kept trying to tell what I call "Girl Brain" to calm down. Then one day, I had a realization about myself and the tactics the adversary uses against us. Here's my story:

On Monday I woke up with a big weight on my soul. I wanted to give up on future possibilities. Didn't think I could handle anymore uncertainty in life. As I drove to work, I started thinking about how I was feeling and realized I was discouraged about the current situation, had been distracted by frivolous pursuits of nothingness all weekend along, and was doubting all the good things that had happened the week before. It's as if a light turned on in my brain! I knew the adversary was working heavily on me and that I had even let him in a bit by choosing to be distracted with technology.

That really opened my mind and heart to the whisperings of the Spirit. I had to choose to push these outside influences out of me so that I could make room for the Spirit in my life. The rest of my Monday was filled with the fruits of the Spirit and I'm grateful that I was able to "snap out of it" as quickly as I did.

Of course the adversary didn't give up that easily. We still had a few battles this week but I knew I was being attacked by the adversary with how I was feeling. What I needed most was how to arm myself and fight off the assault. This scripture and going to the temple gave me the tools and the power I needed. My commentary is in parentheses.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear (that's a tactic of the adversary. Remember Moses and Satan in the book of Moses....Where is thy glory, for it is darkness unto me? And I can judge between thee and God....Get thee hence, Satan; deceive me not. [Moses 1:13–16]....And it came to pass that Moses began to fear exceedingly; and as he began to fear, he saw the bitterness of hell. Nevertheless, calling upon God [the very phrase used by Joseph Smith], he received strength, and he commanded, saying: Depart from me, Satan, for this one God only will I worship, which is the God of glory. [Moses 1:19–22])

but of power (power of the priesthood, power of temple covenants, faith, agency, gift of the Holy Ghost),

and of love (Love of God, charity, Love for fellowman),

and of a sound mind (think of the promises given in the initiatory ordinances; D&C 6:23 - Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?).

I'm realizing that the tactics of the adversary come many times throughout our day. I can't force situations and others' choices, but I can choose to serve the Lord and not become subject to the 5 Ds (discouragement, doubt, deceive, distract, and disqualify). So though my life isn't playing out as fast as I want it to, I know the Lord is guiding my path. I know He does have great things planned for me. I felt that to be the truth on Monday and today. Whenever I feel discouraged or distracted or doubtful, I remind myself that the Lord is in charge and He does not work with those emotions. He uses peace, caution, or warning.

So I write this to testify of the goodness of the Lord and the miraculous hand He has played in my life especially recently, but I also write to remind myself. Never give up on the Lord. Never give up on those you care most about. Never give up on the promised blessings that are so close you can taste it but need a bit more time before they are yours. Promises will be fulfilled and the Lord will provide the way.

I Love to See the Temple

This weekend my cousin married the beautiful Brittany in the Salt Lake Temple. After pictures, I decided to play with Instragram on my phone and ended up with the most fantastic shots. I'm so happy with the results!

I really like this image...

Debt Free

As of today, I am officially student loan debt free. I had loans from my M.Ed at ASU and my MBA at BYU. Out of state tuition at ASU was killer but I determined to keep paying off the interest while in MBA school to keep the loan from getting out of control. Last March, I decided to put all extra money towards both students loans and to have them paid off in one year. Okay, actually the goal was January 1st, but Paris and a few other trips had me alter the goal to one year. I made that goal. And it feels really good!