I'm telling you this not because you do not know; it's simply because we need to be reminded sometimes.

I hate how people get all smug/full-of-air when they're telling people something as if the person receiving this "god-given" advice is d.u.m.b.

No, I'm not a victim, yet, but I do see it happening a lot and I just don't like it much. People need to realise that sometimes their advice works, not because they know more; sometimes, it helps just because people forget. There should be no reason to patronise for the same amount of knowledge you guys share. 

Of course, recollection is a powerful tool, tempered by speed. How much we bring to our conscious mind is essentially the "useful" information that we have, which we use as linkers. I'm one to believe that it is the said "linkers"or ability to remember (fast) that gives an intellect intellect. 

How? Well, I'd draw you a diagram but.... uh on request. But okay, if you think about it:

Exams. You look at the question paper, you say, "die". At the end of the exam, you get a big fat F. You look at some smart ass' solutions and you go, "OMG WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!?!?!?! @#*!$%!??!"

Why didn't I think of that? Why didn't YOU think of that? You KNOW that already, but why didn't YOU think of that? 

Why didn't you remember? With the information that was given, why didn't you link it to the ones you already had in your brain to produce that easy peasy solution?

Well yeah, that's just something to think about. Whether or not memory is an intellectual property, god-given (talent) or something we can and should work on, I still think people should be more humble.

*********************************************************

ANYWHOS STORY OF MY LIFE:

I've been so so so busy! Just today -- French, Transport Processes test, Tennis match (which I won heheehheheheheh sorry I'm so happy it's just cause I'm not in the team and I haven't been training but I played better than people on the team), Drama practice (thank God no Dance today), Intro to Chem Eng coursework, Management presentation, Engineers without Borders meeting prep, AIESEC.

It feels great tho -- mega holistic learning. I've got my acads (I scored 85 on ICE LOL but I'mma fail TP), I've got my sports, I've got my music, I've got my performance arts, I've got my financey shiz (I went for this Trader's Convention £60 but I got in for free hehe), I've got my engineers/social work shiz, I'm being independent and shiz.. and I think I sorta have a social life HAHA. My flatmates have been great and I'm going for Espionage (clubbing event) and Valmont (another clubbing event) the following weeks to come!!!

Ahhh... my life seems so perfect right now.  Juggling so many things have helped my self-esteem. It's a good busy.  I had a good break at Alton Towers with Shum, Cheryl, Darren, and Khai Chien. 90 degree Oblivion roller coasterrr! But yeahhh... not that it's a huge impact on my life but mum's getting me the 4S heheheh! 

Gosh... it's as if my stars are aligning. 

Not that I'm complaining. ;)

So yeaaah #busybeebusyme hence cutting things short and signing off now. 

TAKE CARE EVERYBODEH!

PS. I never thought I'd see this day, but I just realised how much I love running. in the cold. from my flat to campus. cause 1. you get out of the cold fast, 2. it warms you up, 3. it's sorta healthy even though it's only for 30 seconds. XD

PPS. Things I need to look at: fear, pressure, and performance. It was mentioned by Robert Hall at the Trader's convention. It was a really good talk, key takeaway you gotta "be comfortable feeling uncomfortable" and that "success is an alignment of skills/knowledge and mindset". Hopefully I'll be able to give myself a break to think about how it affects my tennis games soon cause my problem of 5-1 up to 5-7 defeated was/is really affecting me.

PPS. Okay, bye.

PPPS. Oh I went to see Priscilla Ahn again!! :DDD She remembers the photo we took (not us, unfortunately).

PPPPS. Okay seriously bye now.

The most inspiring thing happened today!

Well, for starters, I couldn't move out today because HAHA THE FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED A COUPLE OF HOURS AGO! My cousin and I got locked out of the flat. (For 2 1/2 hours.) So we started talking about why asians are smart academically but they don't create* awesome things like Apple. So we started talking about Steve Jobs. Then started dancing. Then started acting. Then started talking in weird accents. Then started singing self-written songs. (Y) ttm. XD

BUT that's not the awesome part. Oh, btw, I went to my cousin's Qualifying Session Dinner (which is a main meal we asians usually call "lunch") today. It was awesome. It was held at Lincoln's Inn Church(?) and it was pretty grand. Harry Potter-ish. We met 2 sisters who were absolutely hilarious! They kept poking at each other. The older sister taught French and she said I actually nailed the "r" when I tried speaking to her. She was really nice, she said I've got a good accent, which is rare for non-native speakers. SO YAY!

BUT AGAIN, that's not the awesomest part. Okay, the awesomest part was sort of the first paragraph(?). 

ie. I got locked in a room. And I found myself setting myself free.

Like in doing accents, 

I stopped saying "I couldn't do the American accent" 

and started playing around with it 

and now, according to my cousin, I'm heading on the right track! :D

Like in dancing, 

my cousin stopped saying "I can't dance for nuts" 

and started actually dancing 

(to our own "Apple Bottom jeans, boots with the fur" 

and Footloose and Grease and Hairspray lmao)!

Like in singing self-written songs, 

I stopped saying "I wish I could write songs" 

and started singing pretty decent lyrics!

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes the most unimaginable things may actually help you with something you've been trying at or have given up on. 

Perhaps it's cause we've been giving ourselves excuses/things-to-do that we've been putting it off?
Perhaps it's cause we've been taking the traditional approach and it just didn't work out for us?

I don't know, but so yes, TRY SOMETHING NEW! Every month! Or every week! Or EVERYDAY! (Like lock yourself out for instance!) You might just find something new* worth pursuing seriously.  ;)

How to meet new friends. :)

DISCLAIMER: It's not 100% guaranteed to work for everyone cause lotsa factors usually come into play when meeting new people. Eg. diff scenarios, events, etc. But it DID make me learn 20 new names and faces today! And I think that's pretty amazing because although I don't show it, I'm a reaaally shy person. So yeap. It's a bit wordy. Wanted to draw a mind map. But got lazy. Anyway, stick around at your own risk! ;)

Okay. Meeting new mortals. Firstly, if you're not around a quirky/geeky group, please don't call them "mortals". 

HAHA. Okay sorry. On to the real deal. Heh. Oh, of course, they're not hard and fast rules, just what I did for today.

======================================================================

Preamble:  Where will you be going? 

A social event - well, it IS supposed to be social, and it helps if everyone doesn't know everyone yet heh

A park - dogs work well as starters

A queue - talk about how long they're taking

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can meet people anywhere. I know it's really obvious but I just have to emphasise the fact that it's really up to you. But I wouldn't recommend clubs (unless you want a hook-up) because it's so dark and loud, no one really remembers who is who, unless you're damn hot and outgoing, in which case you prolly don't even need to be reading this.

Anyway, you'll realize that Step 1 applies in cases where there's a planned meeting. Steps 2 and 3 apply to both planned and random meetings. So... uh, onwards we go! :)

Step 1:  Be early. 

I suppose it helps when you're one of the first ones there because when people start coming in, they would automatically talk to you. Or rather, it would be easier to talk to them. It's simple probability. Also, I find it harder to jump into other people's conversations once they get so engrossed. Just think about how you're like when you're with your own comfortable group of friends, laughing and talking away, enjoying the moments. You wouldn't want anything/anyone to change that, would you?

Step 2(i):  Make eye contact. 

Stop playing with your phone, pretending to be busy! (It's useful, but after awhile, you're just stuck friendless.) Eye contact is really important, because without it (even if it's cause you're shy), it does come across as "I'm too cool to talk to you" or "I'm a loser I have no friends". 

Step 2(ii):  Smile. 

I used to always tell my mum, "a smile costs nothing but creates much". Lord knows where I learnt that. But it's true! If you're going to put your ego first, then please, do stay as a loner. If you're expecting someone to do that first, you might be waiting your whole life.

Step 2(iii):  Say "Hi".   NOW. 

Now's your chance! If you've already done (i) and (ii) and you've seen an insy winsy reciprocity, SAY "HI" NOW! Talk to them! Don't put the first move in someone else's hand. Because only you know what you want. Shut your brain off. (Asha's bright idea in doing stupid things.) Stop thinking about the "what if"s. Can you tell the future? NO, YOU CAN'T! (If you can, please give me the winning lotto tickets kthnxbye.) NOW, is really important. Because the longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be. The awkwardness is not going to help.

If you don't have luck the first time, move on, and keep your chin up high, because you wouldn't want to be friends with uptight bitches anyway. If you're trying hard to make it to the in-crowd, gosh I dunno, stop trying so hard, it scares people away.

I guess this bit can be quite tricky. Because although you have to give in a little, you do want to make sure that you maintain your dignity. Don't go bending over back just yet, you're not signing up to be a slave or a groupie. You're here to get to know these people. You're equal, and you don't owe them anything. So it's very important to know where the lines are.

Step 3:  Be interested. 

I think sometimes we get so caught up in not wanting to be alone and wanting to magically make friends in "1, 2, 3, poof", we forget our primary goals. We make friends when we're comfortable with each other's company; and I think most times, we get comfortable when we start knowing them. So get to know them! Ask questions! "Where are you from","what are you doing", "what is that like", "what is it like from where you're from", "how are you coping"; it's pretty much endless. Be polite. Not dumb. Not pretentious. And I think it helps when you relate their answers to your life, so you make them feel like you're not that much an alien.

======================================================================

So yes. I think that's all you should be needing. But I do have a few more tips I've picked up along the way!

3. In  having confidence  to even go through those steps:

"It's daunting if you think too much. Just do it. Let go of control and you will ace it."

- Adrian

It was more for the acting thing I did last Friday. But the same concept applies. Confidence is a funny thing... it helps so much in all that we do. If we're outright confident-less, we can't get anything done. So just fake it! For one moment, right before you say hi, act/pretend just like you used to play pretend when you were a kid or when you faked sick. Stop being a control freak. Let go of all false fear. Forget all that I've just said, just do it. All you need is to get started, after that everything comes rolling, you wouldn't even notice 3 hours has gone by.

2. In  meeting different races  (like ang mohs):

"Don't go all, 'omg, I want to be your best friend' on them. It says, 'omg, I'm a creep'."

- Kelly

Treat them like how you would treat people of your own skin. Have some self-respect. Why treat yourself as the inferior species? (Please try not to fake accents.)

1. In  overcoming excuses  to skip things like these due to nervousness:

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." 

- Steve Jobs

Like he said, "almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death". Just remember that the thought of it is usually always the scarriest bit. Ok, mebbe the beginning too. The rest is okay. :)

======================================================================

So yeap. If you happen to be needing this right now, I wish you all the best! Go in with a positive and hopeful mind and break a leg! Let me know how it works out for you. :D


*** UPDATE ***


Can't believe I left the most important thing out. ie. Forget everything I just said. JUST TRUST YOURSELF! ;)

The 180 degree turn.

Moments ago, I was all emotional like some friggin' drama queen.
I was tired.
I was sweaty. (Who knew packing could be so strenuous.)
I was smelly.
I was not the happiest person alive, moments ago.

But since I discovered SONGKICK (cause I was googling to see whether P. Ahn would be in UK soon), I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE EXCITED ABOUT ME LEAVING FOR LONDON!

There are soooo many concerts happening week and week again. (Heh.)
Adele, Jamie Cullum, Joshua Radin, James Morrison, City and Colour, Wakey!Wakey!, Katy Perry, Pixie Lott -- all within a month; you name it, London's got it!

Who's HONESTLY swear-to-God excited now, all thanks to a little SONGKICK magic? :DDDDDD





PS. Funny how I was just thinking I should start a site that consolidate gigs, instead of having to go to individual myspace pages. o.o
PPS. If only everything I think about would come true... ohmy, P. Ahn and I would be best friends. XD
PPPS. Sooo can't wait to see P. Ahn again! (Yes, post-concert craze still on.) :D
PPPPS. I hope going to so many concerts won't make the magic of live shows go away...... I feel noob. TEEHEE!
PPPPPS. I should really sleep now; it's 4:02 AM and I'm leaving for the airport in 2 hours! NIGHT folks!

How to become Jesus in less than an hour. (Although we took 4. XD)

1. Google "Jesus" to decide what look you wanna go for.

2. Go buy some cloth. I got 3 meters of white and 1 meter for maroon.
PS. You can actually get a bit more. Don't be stingy like me heh.

4. Do a little planning. :)

5. And some measurements. :)

6. Mark out the important points.
Eg. Sleeves, where to cut, where to sew till.

7. Test it out on paper so you don't waste cloth.

8. Cam-whore with the prototype. (optional)

9. Cut away!

10. Sew away!
PS. I started with the sleeve then moved on to the main body thingy.

This was our first failed attempt at using my great-grandma(?)'s sewing machine.

The bobbing thread was probably not put properly. Heh.

11. Fix your error. (probable)

12. Continue sewing!
PS. You might want to just sew it by hand if you plan to take 1 hour to figure out how the sewing machine works.
PPS. Yes, that's the reason why we took 4. long. hours. that. stretched. into. the. wee. morning. of. 3/4 am.
PPPS. Which led to lotsa clumsy accidents like pricking myself. And bumping my head everywhere.

Note: It helps if you have help.

13. Figure out how long you want the sleeve to be so you know where to join your sleeve to the main thingy.

14. Have a break, have a Kit Kat! ;)

15. Continue sewing. Again.

Can see the AWESOME stitches. Hehe.

And here, our almost completed tunic-ey thing Jesus wears. :D

16. Cut a V so your neck can come out.
PS. I cut a small slit first like \_______/ before cutting the V in front so the back doesn't have a weird/inappropriate V shape as well.

17. Flip it inside out so you don't see the stitching.

18. Cut a paper beard out!
PS. I was supposed to use yarn. But I couldn't find it. So IMPROVISE!

This is what it looks like. You can poke two holes for strings/rubberbands so that you can, you know, have a beard without having to hold it all the time.

19. Try it on.

20. Go crazy! :DDD

My trusty sidekick / awesome friend / Yong Sze in the Jesus costume.

So yeap, there you have it! A Jesus outfit ready for anyone to rock in, all in 20 simple/brainless steps! I'm sure you can do in within the hour...................... if you have a functioning sewing machine that YOU KNOW HOW TO USE.

Just so you know, there was a best dress kinda thing at the event (Chao Wee's 17th Birthday; gosh I feel so old) and I came in second. For my mini performance, I did a lame ass (cause I can't/suck-at) hip-hop/shuffling thing like the Jesus in LMFAO. And for the finals (lol), I was asked to do something for 5 seconds.

I said, "Turn off that music! Youuuuuuuuuuuu people want me to do something for 5 seconds??? I gave you light (okay, I know God did, not Jesus, but people got me hehehe), I gave you the sky, I gave you the birds, *this is when the crowd started lmfao-ing I think* I gave you the trees; NOT ENOUGH AH? Want me to do something for 5 seconds... you think I not tired ah?"

When the crowd cheered, I just bowed politely and left. LOL. I wanted to say, "Hell, I rose from the dead *again* just to come to this party okaaaay." But I forgot. Hahahaha. #fail

I came in second, behind Cat Woman. Wan Lin (the girl in the shower; no, she wasn't naked, she was wearing a bathrobe) came after me. For the guys, it was Dr. McDreamy (Darren?) who faked a CPR on another guy, then ... Michael Phelps (Sebas) who did like that fish/worm breakdancing thing after "plunging" into the water (ground) -- damn (Y), and then the Muay Thai Boxer (Gim Toong). The transvestite (Cavyn) might have been somewhere... can't remember! But it was an awesome party. Thanks Chao Wee the Black Swan! :DDD

So yeap! That's that for now. See you folks again soon! ;)

PS. Me no bring camera so no pictures. Mebbe I can grab them from FB. Will see how that goes! Till next time! :)
PPS. I drove on the highway for the first time yesterday. #fail
PPPS. Today was my cousin's wedding registration. Like omg she's finally married. Hehe. (Y)

JP Morgan's reply to Ms. Pretty. :)

I'm not sure how much of this is true 'cause there were no sources or citations. Nevertheless, its message remains embedded and it is after all, pretty entertaining. Very much an eye-opener. Heh. ;)

CEO of J.P Morgan Fantastic reply to a Pretty Girl

by XXXXXXXX XXX on Saturday, October 30, 2010 at 3:55pm

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask:

what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York CityGarden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:

1. Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2. Which age group should I target?
3. Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.
4. How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? My target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

Awesome reply:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours.

Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later. By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...

Signed,

J.P. Morgan

One word -- PWNED. XD

What have we become? by Jason Limanjaya

[Me, Dustin, Jason, Alvin, Boyle, random guy crashing]

This note was written by my friend, Jason, an Indon scholar. This is the second time I'm sharing a FB note from one of my friends.. and again, I (obviously) wouldn't have done so if it weren't worth reading.

So yeah.. first thing you need to know about him that he is always playing at gigs.. In fact, he always comes up with the arrangement when we're doing a performance together. He's a reaaaal talent, I tell ya. He's a mind-blowing genius on the piano, guitar, base, drums, etc. It's amazing that God makes ppl like that. And on top of his musical brilliance, his thoughts are pretty profound too! He took the words right out of my mouth and honestly, I couldn't have put it any better. So yeah... here you have it, Jason and his reflections. Enjoy! :)

A Reflection (1)

Monday, August 16, 2010 at 5:22pm

by Jason Limanjaya

I suddenly had an urge to write about my life in the past few years after attending the briefing with a certain MOE (Minister of Education) officer this morning. Just as how I was reminded of the importance of academic excellence, I was also reminded of what it takes to be a scholar. However, what I really want to know is not only what it takes to be a scholar, what it takes to be a human.

The ultimate question remains, have I become a human being and how? Or am I just a rope strained between animals and Overman, to borrow Nietzsche's words?

I have known Nietzsche's ideas even before I arrived at Singapore. I was much more a child than a human back then.

I came to this tiny red dot on the world map with a simple overarching idea. "You have been selected. You are among the best and the brightest and the lucky ones to be here. Do well and life cannot go any easier."

Yes, academic excellence is the core of my scholarship therefore my scholarship here. However, as time passed by, with ups and downs in my grades, I discovered that I am more talented in certain areas than others. I faced a rather grim reality that there is only one choice out of two: master something or try to master everything and end up mastering nothing.

I always want to look for challenges and venture to uncharted territories in life. Thus, I don't think I would settle on something in particular for now. That is when I started to get disinterested with my life here. That happened around the beginning of Secondary 4. I felt that I was nothing more than a photocopier machine who restlessly devoured 'lessons' in the classroom and notes only to be regurgitated into exam papers. There was hardly any creative fervor.

It almost led me to a complete disarray. I was utterly disillusioned with the quest for knowledge in school. All those school and CCA tasks appeared to be menial if not burdening to me. How could I become someone if I kept doing what everyone else did?

I sought for remedy in anime, manga, AMVs, online forums etc. At the same time I disconnected myself from the society. I started feeling like a stranger in the middle of the familiar faces around me. When you feel like an alien, that is when you are very prone and vulnerable to negative thoughts and even hatred. And my main target was the Mother Tongue Language subject. Being a hapless, naive kid, I blamed it for my melancholy and apathy towards life.

My innermost passions, philosophy and music, also seemed dead. I could not develop them further because I was doing it all alone. I became oblivious to my friends and surroundings. Looking back at those memories, I really think that is when I became most autistic and selfish. And I was unaware of it. Shoot.

And 2009 ended so soon. The dreadful Mother Tongue class and EOY exams were over in no time. I survived academically, but I feared I would not survive as a human if I continued that way of life.

One evening, I walked alone to the rugby field and lay down there. Facing the stars so far away, I muttered a secret wish that I though would never be materialized. I laughed at it as soon after I wished for it and left the field, dismissing the possibility that it would ever come true.

God, please let next year be an adventure that I will never forget.

To be continued...

Thoughts? :)

Cause I'm sorta plagued by the same problems.. in life and in choosing a university course. A levels is approaching.. uni applications are open.. and the mind-boggling question remains.

Should I do something pragmatic that I can force myself to "love" and live my life as a wage-slave seduced by material possessions?

Or should I do something that I already love but may not guarantee a realistic income and pursue the non-material aspects in life that make us human?

What do YOU think?

Live the life you love; love the life you live. by Asha Blake-Casiraghi-Venkatramanan-etc.

A lil intro before we start -- this is a FB note written by my dear dear friend, Asha. I met her back when I was in secondary school. She was the loud girl from the next class and I was prolly the cool kid from the other. LoL. Mebbe the latter ain't true but in any case, like any other great stories on friendship, we hit right off and put together, we were chaos. Okay. Not really, again, but we did make helluva lot of noise together and those 5 years we spent together was jammed pack with lottttssaaa fun. A million times more compared to the average SMK IJC student, along with Stef, Jas, XL and the rest of the bunch, defo. (Remember the dog in the box thing? LMAO.)

Anywhos.. to an unknowing outsider, she may come across as... actually I don't quite know cause I've never heard anyone speak ill of her. Except mebbe that she gets a lil too loud / out-of-hand most of the time. LoL. (Remember those stupid morning senamrobiks shit? ROFL.) But that's hardly a weakness. So, I'm gonna jump right to conl -- she's an extraordinary friend (and a great singer and a great dancer and a great person with extraordinary talentS) and I'm glad I've had the pleasure of knowing her. :)

Ok. Back to this article, yeah.. I thought it was really good so I asked her if I could post it on my blog to have it shared with the world. Or at least whoever comes here. ;) Every single word is hers. No editing required on my part cause what she wrote is the truth. In fact, there's lotsa important day-to-day reminders you can pick up by reading this, sooo.. enjoy! :D

Live the life you love; love the life you live.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 at 1:02am

by Asha Venkatramanan

I've seen the above quote on Stef's anklet that she wears, only that was in chinese, I got the translation from her.

I've been reminiscing and been watching gymrama videos. I like Italy's coreography. It's like putting beautiful words into a routine. Like artwork, no? I mean that's probably the fundamentals of art; making it speak and reach out to the audience and at the same time being vague and different to each and every person.

The hard work and amount of training hours put into the routines barely show, because of the ease in which it is executed. The little quick things get missed, if you don't watch closely. It's become more complicated I think. With the new rules and marking system's and stuff. The collaboration done is made up of a million different intricate parts, something that is missed quite often, if you look at it in the macro sense that is.

Oh but it is so beautiful. Looking at the macro part of it. Because once you look too much at the intricacy, you lose the beauty of the entire thing all together.

Funny how it is so closely related to a lot of things in life. We sometimes worry too much about catching the petty details that we just forget how to live the macro life.

We constantly live our life, putting the people around us as yardsticks. As if their actions would justify ours?

Dad always said, never compare yourself to anyone whom you think is less than you, compare yourself the ones you look up to, only then you'd feel the drive to be better. I don't completely agree with this, but there is some truth to it.

I know I worry too much. About a ton of things I don’t have control over. I don’t spend enough time with the people who really matter. I dwell on the stupid things. I don’t even spend time doing things that are beneficial to me, other than the long hours of sleep I’ve been having.

Life is a learning process I guess. Some things take time to sink in, some things are instant.

I hate putting so much effort in things that aren’t working out right, or putting so much effort with the best hope, only to watch it all fall apart. Can’t say this for the academics though, these so far seem to have been going pretty well, with the mediocre effort I’ve been putting in. Oh, but let’s not jinx that now.

I want to be doing things I love, filling days with doing things that I enjoy and feel comfortable with. I want to lie in bed at night and feel satisfaction. Something I haven’t really felt in the last couple of months. It’s frustrating, knowing that I really want to be doing more, but lacking the drive to get out and do it. Instead I continue complaining and being unhappy.

I’ve learnt a lot though in the past year, especially from being in a relationship. It’s also like a gymrama routine sometimes, focus too much on the tiny things, you lose the fun in things. Always seen it from a third person point of view. In those cases, I only thought with my head, not my heart. Now, it’s hard to suppress the heart. One important thing I’ve learnt it to really be yourself, and accept the other for who they really are. It’s hard sometimes, clash of ideas and emotions. It’s a continuous effort, something you have to work at everyday, even in the smallest of ways. Effort, is what drives it. Don’t lose yourself. This is where it gets tricky. Something I’m still getting the hang of. It’s like swimming in the sea. It’s pretty underwater, but going too deep, and you may get into unwanted trouble. Stay on the surface and you never really see things from where it all happens. It’s a lot of give and take. Achieving the right balance of this, is also hard.

Fortunately, everything done, is worthwile. And this is what makes me happy.

It's amazing how she can produce so much noise and still have the brain capacity to think about such profound stuff at the same time. Most ppl can only do one.

So, tell me again, how awesome is she? :)))