I am Not an Athlete

When I started running just 5 short years ago I wanted to be lean and defined and 'athletic'. I wanted the body and the attitude that went with it. I assumed that once I completed the Couch to 5k program I would feel like an athlete and be well on my way to looking like one too.

Then I finished my first 5k in 29:59 and realized that I am not fast in any sense of the word. I didn't have an excuse for not being able to beat that mark for a long time. I wasn't overweight. I quit smoking. I followed training plans. But I was still slow.

After my first half marathon

 

I convinced myself that I must be a distance runner. You know, all slow twitch. So I set my sights on a half marathon and finished in 2:29. I was still slow and I still looked exactly the same. The pattern continued and I tried the marathon, the 50k, the 50 mile. And the results were the same. I finished in the back of the pack, sometimes even dead last.

Shane and I after my first ultra in 2009

 

Every distance I tried I succeeded in finishing but it was never good enough. When I failed at 100 miles it was a real shock. When I failed a second time I was doubly convinced that I must not be cut out for it. So I hired a coach and gave training my all and finally 'succeeded' on my third try. I thought for sure that NOW I would feel like an athlete.

 

Well, the truth is, I don't. I still finished at the back of the pack. I didn't do anything impressive. All I did was endure. That's all I've ever done; Hold on until the finish line is in sight and then heave myself across. I still don't look any different. I still don't feel any different.

 

I'm not saying running hasn't given me anything or changed my life. I am more confident because I feel more comfortable in my skin. But it's still the same skin. And I have made tons of great friends and travelled and gotten to experience many great things. But I'm still just me. I am still just average and I'm still scatter-brained and eccentric.

 

The Pretty Muddy experience

 

I don't know what it will take to convince me that I'm 'good enough'. Obviously, distance wasn't the answer. I'm not sure there IS an answer. Maybe that's the telltale sign of a competitor. Maybe I'm overly competitive. Maybe I'm just insane. In the end, all I know is that I still want to be better. The question now is what kind of better? And I think the answer is speed.

Boston Harvest 5k 2012

 

I want to consider myself fast. I want to take a podium spot because I ran a great race, not because the fast women were somewhere else that day. I want to be able to dream of Boston. I want to be in the front waves of my next marathon. I'm not sure how I'll get there or what it will take but I plan to find out. And I can only hope that the same initiative and drive that got me over 100 miles will push me to new race times as well. At least now I have a base to build on!

 

When did you feel like an athlete? What are your favorite speed workouts or training plans?

Week in Review: Week 8

Two months down already! I can't believe I'll be starting to taper for Shamrock in just another month or so! This week was a great week aside from the dog incident. I also got in some fun on the trails so I have some pictures to make this a little less boring.

Shane decided to jump a stream instead of taking the bridge

Monday: 4.5 miles of hill work. 10 minute warm up, 5 minutes at 8% incline, 2 minutes at 4% incline, repeat. Really happy with how much easier the hills are becoming! I actually forgot I was on 8% at one point and tried to increase it!

Taking a tree over the water

Tuesday: 50 minute tempo run. 7.25 miles. I actually didn't feel like this was tempo effort. Guess I'm getting faster!

Sleep running? :)

Wednesday: 7.25 miles of 9:1 run/walk. Not much to say about this workout.

I took the bridge

Thursday: 6.5 miles including 8 x 400m repeats. I really surprised myself by being able to complete this one at the prescriped paces.

Shane stopped to do pull-ups during the run

Friday: This is the day I was jumped on by the dog. It should have been a repeat of Wednesday. Instead it ended up being 1.14 miles on the trail and 1.86 miles on the treadmill to make 3 miles total.

Horses!

Saturday: 18 mile long run. I had to break up my long run because Shane's parents were watching the girls. I ran 15 miles in South Park and then ran the 3 miles home from his parent's house to our house.

Tiny Shane but pretty trees

Sunday: This was scheduled to be a rest day but since Friday got so messed up I went ahead and did 3.5 miles of 9:1 run/walk. It felt fine which I was pretty excited about the day after a long run!

Total: 50 miles in under 9 hours of running! Woah!

Week in Review: Part 5 (End of the Year!)

This week was my first cutback week of the training cycle. I was looking forward to it but also dreading it. I really enjoyed seeing big numbers the past few weeks and I hated to see my average drop back down right at the end of the year. I decided to use it as a mini-taper for an end of the year PR attempt at the Harmony Silvester 5k. Shane and I have raced this for three years now and I set a PR last year. I hoped to repeat that feat this year.... But you'll have to wait for my race report tomorrow!

On to the training week!

Monday: 3 miles in 37:05 (run/walk) + weights.

Tuesday: Off (Christmas!)

Wednesday: 1 mile warm up, 8 hill repeats at 10% incline, cool down + CrossFit WOD. Total: 3 miles.

Thursday: 1 mile warm up, 6 miles steady state. Total: 7 miles.

Friday: 2 mile warm up, 6 x 200m repeats, cool down. Total: 4 miles.

Saturday: 3 mile walk.

Sunday: 3 mile easy run.

Total: 23 miles in 4:08:27.

Week In Review: Part Two

This week was another tough one but I feel like I handled it better. It started off deceptively easy with a 60 minute walk then progressed through speed work, steady state runs and a tough long run. So here's my week in review:

Monday: 4.2 miles of speed walking on the treadmill with inclines.

Tuesday: 1 mile warm up, 20 x 1 minute at faster than 5k pace (7:30 per mile) with 1 minute at 4-5MPH recovery, 1 mile cool down. Yes, that's right.... TWENTY repeats!

Wednesday: 70 minute steady state run.

Thursday: 0.5 mile warm up jog. 30 minutes of strength training: front squats, lunges, curls, rows, and then form drills.

Friday: 2 mile warm up, 3 x 10 minutes at 5k pace with a couple minutes recovery in between, cool down.

Saturday: Rest.

Sunday: 13.1 mile trail run.

Total: 39 miles

The trail run was AWFUL. It's been raining for days and the trails were nothing but mud and wet leaves and rocks. I can't believe I stayed upright the whole time!

Nothing but mud

 

Muddy Shoes

 

On a really cool note check out what I got from my Secret Santa! Nothing like a little extra motivation on the Christmas tree and my book shelf!

 

 

Stronger By The Minute

The last couple weeks have been really hard! And that's not a complaint. In fact, I'm ecstatic. I am tougher than I realized. I've been taking my weaknesses and working on making them strengths. I've been putting in miles when I'd rather sleep, watch TV, eat something, or play with my kids. Maybe I won't always be a back/middle of the pack runner?

For example, I did speed work today. A one mile warm up, 20 x 1 minute at 7:30 pace with 1 minute recovery job between repeats, and 1 mile cool down. I would have preferred a 2 mile warm up and cool down but the little one was out of patience early on today. And running for 20 minutes total at faster than 5k pace was daunting! In the end I finished with 10k at 9:40 average pace. That in itself is not that impressive but the fact that I wanted to die (or slow down) after 4 repeats yet I still finished 20 is! By 15 I realized something. It didn't feel quite so awful anymore. My legs and lungs were developing a rhythm. The recovery jogs now felt awkward and out of sync rather than the repeats. It was odd and kind of inspiring. By the end of the 20th interval I felt like I could do more. I didn't really want to but I knew I *could*!

I spend a lot of time in my home gym and on my treadmill and one thing that's really helping me is gathering inspirational memorabilia. We have two displays in the basement like this. The first is a Bill Rodgers signed print. He won the Boston Marathon FOUR times! It really helps to look at that and think that what I'm doing doesn't even compare to what he must have been running. It also helps to remember that even the fastest and strongest runners have moments of weakness. At the bottom it says, "To be a winner means preparing not just one day, one month, or even one year - but for a lifetime." I may not be better tomorrow or next week but you bet I will be next month and next year!

Someday I will see the Boston finish line!

 

The second display is Shane and I's autographed 'cards' from elite athletes. It really helps me to remember that I have met Shalane Flanagan and Amy Yoder-Begley and they are real women. They have aches and pains and bad days. They like junk food and don't have superhuman willpower any more than the rest of us do. They just set their sights on a goal and then make choices that make those goals possible. Whether that goal is a 4:29:59 marathon or a world record, it's a great lesson in perseverance for everyone.

 

 

I'll never be a world-class athlete but there's no reason I can't be better than last year or last race! And I'll keep imagining that day when I qualify for Boston or finish my first one hundred or age group at a major race. Because I know one day I will achieve anything I put the work into.

 

 

Week In Review

I think it will help me (and maybe those of you who want to follow in my madness) if I post a review of my training. I'm going to try and make this a weekly post, hopefully every Sunday, and use it as a way to keep my motivation up.

Because we all need more cat pictures on the interwebz

 

So here is the week of November 26 to December 2 in review:



Monday: 5.5 miles at 10:45 avg. pace + CrossFit

Tuesday: 6 miles at 9:58 avg. pace. This included speed work intervals.

Wednesday: 5 miles at 11:56 avg. pace. Recovery run + CrossFit.

Thursday: Rest. (Sick)

Friday: Unscheduled rest day due to being sick.

Saturday: 6 miles at 9:52 avg. pace. The middle miles were fast tempo.

Sunday: 10 miles at 11:20 avg. pace. A shorter version of a long run.

Total: 32.5 Miles


All in all it was a good week except for the illness that snuck up on me Wednesday. Let's just hope this week doesn't hold any nasty surprises!

Pushing Boundaries

I had my second training session with Ed over at Strength, Fitness, and Speed, Inc. this morning.  Last week's workout left us both surprised.  I expected to be a blubbering mess on the floor by the end and Ed must have too.  Instead we were both pleasantly surpised at how much of my fitness has returned post-baby.  I did my 3 mile run before I went and was scared it was going to make the training even harder but I surprised myself and excelled beyond both of our expectations!

Today, I knew Ed would be ramping things up a little but I was less nervous.  We did some plyo drills, some strength training, and some circuit training.  I was a little sore afterwards but not as much as I expected.  I put off doing my scheduled 4 mile run for a few hours for fear I would feel it then.  However, I finally sucked it up and jumped on the treadmill.  (I still haven't braved the snow/rain yet!) 

Once again I was pleasantly surprised.  I figured I would just go all out and see if I blew up or not.  I started out at a 10 minute mile pace (yes, I'm slow, I know...) and stayed there for mile 1.  Mile 2 I pushed to a 9:30 minute mile pace.  That actually didn't feel too bad!  I had an outside chance at breaking my official 5K PR of 29:59 (I pulled a 27:xx in training but never in a race).  I kept pushing the speed through mile 3 until I got to 7MPH.  I managed to hold myself together to the 5K mark and shaved 6 seconds off that race PR!  I was elated (and wheezing, choking, red-faced....)!  I wasn't sure how well I would finish off that last mile to get my scheduled 4 but I didn't want to chicken out now.

I kept pushing, dropping back only to a 10 minute mile pace instead of 11 or 12.  I got myself to the 3.8 mile mark and notched the speed up to 6.5 MPH and then edged up to 7MPH for the final tenth of a mile.  I finished that 4 mile run in 39:45, an average pace of 9:41!  A truly amazing accomplishment for a penguin like me!  I'm going to rest up and really hope that I can break my pre-baby PR less than 4 months postpartum.  And, if the weather is only 20-ish degrees like they're forecasting, then there's an outside chance I could snag myself another age group award! 

I have to say I'm pretty fond of my newfound pain tolerance and 'speed'!  I'm starting to think I do have an outside chance of having a good first marathon and setting a new PR at the Rachel Carson Challenge this summer and still being able to walk in the days following.  So here's to pushing ourselves beyond our wildest dreams and finding that perserverence and determination are the keys to opportunities doors!