"I will not be forgotten.
This is my time to shine.
I've got the scars to prove it,
Only the strong survive.
I'm not afraid of dying;
Everyone has their time.
Life never favored weakness.
Welcome to the pride."
~Five Finger Death Punch
You may not be a fan of heavy rock or alternative or whatever you want to classify 5FDP as. However, this song went on my playlist because the lyrics SPEAK to me. I vowed to myself that I wouldn't be weak this training cycle. I swore that I wouldn't make excuses to quit or lessen the burden of training. I promised that I would find out exactly how deep I can dig and just how strong I am. I wanted to be one of
those runners. You know, the ones who run in the pouring rain at 4am because it's the only time they
could run? One of those runners who never gives up because life throws them a curve ball. I think they could justifiably be called a 'pride'.
So when I got called into work unexpectedly Wednesday night I had to make some quick adjustments on the fly. A planned 10 mile run got swapped with cross training. I banged out 40 minutes worth of strength training before I raced off to work the 4 to midnight shift. I promised myself that I would run my 10 miles as soon as I got home even though I had been up since 6am already. I moved 10 foot long pipes back and forth through our shop all night. I dealt with a major crisis with a radioactive source that could have proved dangerous but thankfully didn't. I wondered every minute how I could survive a run after this but reminded myself that I will feel worse at Burning River and probably have more than 10 miles to go at that point. I needed to be strong!
Then my boss put another wrench in my plans. Two of our guys are down sick so I needed to come back in at 8am and put in another shift. That meant getting home at 1am, sleeping for 5 hours, and then going back to work. No way to put 10 miles in unless I wanted to be in a coma by lunch time. I dragged myself back into the shop and loaded all of those 10 foot pipes on a truck for our customer BY HAND because we're not allowed to touch them with a fork truck or crane. I loaded heavy castings for another customer and then started working on some different castings we had in the lab. I was exhausted. I was starving. And all I could think about was running.
I begged my brain not to give my legs excuses. I bargained with myself. "Just get on the treadmill and see what you can do." Finally, my relief arrived and I was able to head home. I stopped and picked up some fish food on the way. I puttered around the kitchen sorting mail and drinking water when I got home. I fed the fish some new food. I basically did anything to avoid putting on my running shoes. Then Shane woke up and I knew it was now or never.
I asked him to get Gem off the bus and pick up Ash so I could run and he agreed. (I'm a lucky wife, huh?) I changed and headed down to the basement like a prisoner headed for the electric chair. I popped in a movie and started out slowly. My legs protested at first but then it started to feel better. The knot of worry and stress in my chest released and I felt like I could breathe again. My stride started to loosen up and I was able to get close to the pace I was supposed to hit.
I didn't push myself to hit the recommended paces. I know that being awake for close to 40 hours with only a nap in the middle wasn't the preferred state for training. I went with the flow and even paused to grab some cookies for a quick sugar hit when I started to fade. The next thing I knew:
BAM! Ten miles done!
And now I know.... I am one of the strong. I will survive whatever life throws at me: job, personal, or anything else. I survived crazy work hours, a long way to run on the treadmill, and my fourth ACSM CPT class. And I'll survive working again tomorrow and whatever it may bring. Welcome to the pride!
