Our family has gone through a lot of craziness these last few months, and sometimes things have changed at a moment's notice. And through it all, our little Addison has managed to keep a resilience that amazes me daily.
Because she wasn't/isn't allowed in certain places, there have been so many mornings Addi has waken up, not knowing whose house she is going to play at that day. Mom has had a variety of appointments, from OB, to ultrasounds for baby and blood clot, to non-stress tests. Two or three days even come to mind when we have completely disrupted her routine by needing to have her go play with a friend or her Aunt Gail with little to no forewarning. When the day of delivery came, without notice, and we had to both be at Jillian's surgery, or after, when we had to spend multiple days and nights in the hospital, and even in the following weeks when we went to the NICU to visit and feed Jace, and she couldn't join us, Addi's response was always a big kiss and a tight hug, and a reluctant, but reassuring farewell before leaving with Uncle Andy or Aunt Gail, or another friend.
In all honesty, I don't even think Addi knows what a routine is anymore. And yet, through it all, she has gone to play with someone else, and sometimes even spent one or more nights away from her bed, her toys, and her family, all with the strength of someone so much older than she is or should have to try to be.
While we patiently wait for the day when we can be home together as a family of four, Jillian and I are taking turns being with Jace.
When Jillian has been too sick to get out of bed because of her pregnancy or her blood clot, or an excruciating combination of both, Addi has played by her bedside. When Jillian needed me to give her shots twice a day to treat her blood clot, Addi would hold her hand through the injections. When emotions would run high and Jillian or I would try to find a moment to cry, Addi would be there to reassure us that "It's okay." And it was Addi, who reminded us, after Jillian came home from the hospital and I said that we were all together again, that "We're not a family, though" because Jace wasn't home with us yet.
A four year old should be at least a little selfish, defiant, or adamant that she get her way. And while Addi has had moments where she acts out for need of attention, doesn't want us to leave her, asks when I'll be home from work, or asks where Mommy is when she's at the hospital with Jace, in general I see a wise understanding in her eyes that knows we're doing the best we can right now; that knows we've promised things will be back to normal again soon, and trusts and believes us; that plays hard with us when she has our attention so she can hold onto it when we can't be with her.
And most importantly, she looks forward to being a big sister, and the responsibility it brings--she is excited to help with Jace, and when the time comes, teach him how to make his way through this wonderful, crazy life.
We are so blessed to have such a wonderful little girl in our home, who has such a big heart and wonderful spirit. We love her so much!
Our little family, before Jace was born:
She got to visit Jace twice in the 2 1/2 weeks he was in the NICU, and see him through a window.
So excited for Christmas!
watching the Christmas tree, in her new Christmas pajamas:
with her friend Landon:
Finally united with her brother:
Monday, December 24, 2012
Jace's Library
This weekend we decided that the best possible care for him would be for us to take turns being there with him full time.
When I'm with him, I've taken to reading stories to him. It's something I started with Addi when she was in the NICU, and I even started with the same story I first read aloud to Addi, "The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane." I had forgotten what a wonderful story and adventure that book was, but as I held him and read to him, I was once again absorbed in the words and imagery of a story about a china rabbit's adventure to find love while longing to be reunited with his original owner.
The themes of the story resonated particularly strongly with me this time. Maybe it's because Jillian and I have taken so many journeys of our own in the last four years, and met so many wonderful people who have altered the course of our lives, affected us personally for the better, and helped us understand what true, unconditional love for others is all about. We truly are so blessed to have the friends and family we do, and to have met the most extraordinary people (both extraordinarily wonderful and extraordinarily...un-wonderful), all of whom have made our family the family it is.
When we finished this journey, we decided to continue. Perhaps the story of a china rabbit sparked a memory of a story from my youth, but while Addi and I searched the public library for a new book to read to Jace, I remembered the title of a book, and was so excited when the library had it in stock (expecially since the book was first written in the 1930s). And so, our second book was "The Five Chinese Brothers."
This story is a simple children's storybook, but it is crammed full of so many themes and messages that helped define me and my values. My mom read it to us as children, and we requested it so many times that I had it pretty much memorized. This story is where I first learned the values of obedience (and the consequences of disobedience) and loyalty to family, the legal process, and believe it or not, was my first exposure to superheroes and superpowers.
After this brief, but important story, we chose a Christmas story for Christmas Eve. "Great Joy" is another children's picture book, but because it is written and illustrated by the same team who did "Edward Tulane", it is so much more than a picture book. The story about a young girl who teaches compassion, sympathy and Christ like love is an atmospheric tale that transfixes you while you're lost in its pages. And when the last pages come, you can't help but be filled with the true meaning of Christmas.
And because we were on a roll, Jace and I next began reading another book by Kate DiCamillo. This one, entitled "The Magician's Elephant" is new to me, but once again, the story, like "Edward Tulane" and "Great Joy", is filled with beautifully descriptive language, wonderful characters, and seems to have been written to be read aloud. It's a more lengthy book, similar to "Edward Tulane", so we're off on another lengthier journey after reading a few picture books. We'll let you know what we think!
Regardless of whether this story is of the same quality as our first two, though, the time spent together in these magnificent worlds and stories is time we hope will spark Jace's imagination from the very beginning, just like it did for his big sister.
Hiccups along the Way
These last ten days have been a wild ride!
When Jace was born he had what the doctors call wet lungs, meaning he had residual fluid in his lungs that weren't expressed with the normal delivery process (fairly normal for babies delivered through c-section, I guess). Because he was a preemie, his lungs couldn't quite clear the fluid on their own. The doctors and nurses on staff did a great job identifying his problem and helping to remove excess air from his tummy so he could clear his lungs. We had every hope that Jace would come home with Mom when she was discharged from the hospital.
We were so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful friends and family who swept in and saw to Addi's needs so that I could be at the hospital with Jillian as
she recovered from surgery and while we tried to help Jace as much as possible. I did get to come home one evening and play with Addi, and read her stories and put her to bed, before taking her back to Gail's house and returning to the hospital, but otherwise we knew she was loved and taken care of, and as a parent torn between two worlds, nothing is more reassuring.
Something crazy wonderful happened in our home this week! It started out as just another week with our little family of three preparing for the upcoming holidays. We'd been driving around looking at Christmas lights at night, taking family walks around the neighborhood to take in the cooling weather in the evenings, and helping Addi work her way though advent calendars in the mornings (we LOVE advent calendars in our home!).
Unfortunately, at the hospital, right after this was resolved, Jace decided to be a picky eater, buying him an I.V. while he learned to eat the right volumes for his weight. And as he started to figure out the eating thing, he also discovered acid reflux.
It turns out that Jace would hold his breath while he tried to keep the acid in his tummy from rising, and this would cause his oxygen to run out and his heart rate to drop. Being a tough little guy, he was adamant about preventing the acid from rising, and knew that all he had to do was force it back down. But when that takes too long, nurses and doctors get concerned, and each time his heart rate drops because of this, it buys him 7 days in the St. Joseph Baby Spa (the NICU). The hardest part of all is that the only remedy is time and growth, and that requires more patience than parents of a newborn possess.
In a matter of just a few days (on the 17th), Jace figured out the eating thing and his I.V. was removed. He's actually started eating enough to start gaining his weight back, and at times is even a voracious eater (he pretty much gets the hiccups at every feeding because of how excited he gets about eating); and his reflux issues happened less and less, so he was removed from oxygen support on the 18th. He still acts up about once a day right now though, so we are patiently waiting for the day he grows strong enough to control his reflux enough that his heart rate doesn't drop.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Something Crazy Wonderful
Wednesday was a momentous day-- 12/12/12! Jillian had a quick doctor's appointment to check on baby boy's progress at 36 weeks, Gail brought Addi to work so Jillian could pick her up after her appointment and take her to a lunch date, with our friend Lisa Scott and her daughter Ella, at Peter Piper Pizza, and Gail and I planned to go to Paradise Bakery at 12:12 pm to celebrate the once in a lifetime minute with delicious cookies. And then Jillian called from her appointment.
The doctor told her that her uric acid and blood pressure had gone up and her blood platelets were rapidly decreasing, and he wanted her to go to the hospital for another non-stress test. And all of the sudden it was four years ago. But Dr. Decker reassured us that he had no intention of letting Jillian's condition progress to HELP or preeclampsia levels. And sure enough, after a short time being monitored, Jillian's doctor made the decision that it was time for baby boy to be born. And everything changed.
I raced to wrap things up at work; Gail agreed to keep Addi; Gail, Addi and I still stopped by Paradise Bakery for a picture and a cookie to celebrate 12:12 12/12/12, and I hurried home to get us all packed for this new adventure. The trouble came when I drove home (all the way across the city) and realized that I had already given my house key to Gail weeks ago so she could get into the house to take care of Addi when this day came. For those of you who don't know, Tucson is a very spread out city. Going back to meet Gail would have meant a delay of at least another 60-90 minutes. I called our neighbor to ask if he knew any tricks to get into our homes, and he said no, but that he was only a few blocks from the hospital! So he got our garage door opener from Jillian's car, and brought it to me! We have awesome neighbors!!
To make the rest of this already too long story short, I packed everything we'd all need (including clothes and things for Addi to stay with Gail), went and met Gail and Addi, and we all went to the hospital to be together before Jillian's surgery.
At 4, Gail and Addi left and things kicked into high gear as the nurses,our doctor, and the anesthesiologist all came through our room to prepare us for what was about to happen. And at 4:30, they took Jillian into the operating room. I joined the party around 4:45 and our baby boy was born at 4:47 p.m. on 12/12/12. He was born with strong lungs that he exhibited for all of us with good, loud screams. It's a good thing they were so strong, because they were also filled with fluid that temporarily compromised his breathing, and bought him a ticket to the NICU. I left the operating room just long enough to watch the nurses get his vitals and stats (he was born 5lbs 15oz, 18 3/4 inches long) before returning to Jillian's side at the operating table.
While the nurses took him upstairs for his recovery period, I joined Jillian in the operating room and then in her recovery room, and we were eventually taken upstairs to Jillian's room.
After rest and recovery (and sneaking Aunt Gail into the NICU under the guise of "Grandma" since it's RSV season and only parents and grandparents are allowed in the unit), Jillian eventually got strong enough to be reunited with our little guy.
It's wonderful to have our little boy here finally, and we are so excited to be a family of four now.
After three days with us, we settled on a name for our little man. The funny story here is that Jillian and I had a short list, but nothing we were set on. People kept asking us what his name was, and we honestly didn't know (even though some of them honestly didn't believe us!). Even when we held him for a couple days, we were still uncommitted. But in the end we chose Jace Lane Holiday.
Our second little miracle was born on my mother's birthday, and was given Jillian's father's middle name as his middle name (yes, and his Aunt Shayla's middle name--fist bump), and to us, that couldn't be more perfect.
Our family of 3, for the final time, just before Jillian's surgery:
One of Little Man's first pictures:
Warming up before being weighed and measured:
Settling in to his new digs:
First visit with Mommy:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)