Return: Feeling Good in my Skin

There were two times/seasons in life that I remember clearly feeling good about my body:

The first time was when I was an acting student in New York City. Living in NYC means not having a car and walking all over the place! The average New Yorker walks about five miles a day, so even when I wasn't hitting the gym, I was already getting a lot of exercise. Acting school included four days a week of dance class--ballet two days a week, and modern dance/yoga two days a week. Occasionally, I would work out at the gym, too. I remember going to buy a new pair of jeans and realizing that I had gone down a size. I felt pretty excited about that!

The second season of life was when I was a vegan (who ate meat/dairy once in a while). That period of life lasted about a year. My stepfather had been diagnosed with cancer, and the literature we read seemed to indicate that a vegan diet gives your body the best chance at fighting the disease. So in a move of solidarity, my mom and I committed to a vegan diet along with John. It was amazing: when I quit putting animal fat into my body, I lost a ton of weight...like 20ish pounds. It came off quickly, and I felt great! When I look back at photos of that time in my life, I love the way I looked...so trim!

I guess I'm reflecting back on these two times in my life because I'm not very comfortable in my skin today. I've gained about 20 pounds since I got married, and I'm probably about 30 pounds heavier than I was in my vegan days. It's a bummer, and I really don't know what to do about it.

What strikes me as I look back on those two seasons of life is that I was living lifestyles of consistency. In NYC, I was exercising regularly and eating 3 meals a day with virtually no snacking in between. In my vegan days, I was committed to eating a certain way and stuck with it! It's not rocket science, I know. I'm just trying to find the willpower inside to commit to a new routine, and I also want to figure out what that new routine will be. Finding a routine that works with my lifestyle of suburban wife/mom is my challenge. I'm hoping I can find within myself the ability to rise to it. Sometimes, I think I can, but other times I feel so weak.

So, it turned out to be a 14-15 day cleanse instead of the originally planned 21 days

I just couldn't do it anymore.

I started feeling like I wanted to cry at lunch today when I realized that raw veggies were the order of the day...again.

And I just couldn't bring myself to have yet another salad for dinner.

So we went to Red Robin for dinner, and I ordered a Garden Burger with pepper jack cheese (vegetarian, but not vegan) and it came with fries. It was just what the doctor ordered.

Before we left for dinner, I cried big tears because I felt like a failure for not finishing the 21 days. But then I had to give myself a pep talk and acknowledge that I pretty much rocked for 14 days, and a two week cleanse did my body good! I lost about 5 pounds and I do feel better in my body.

My thinking is that from here on out, I will be a vegetarian (not a strict vegan). I want my ice cream and cheese on occasion! And I might have meat from time to time. In talking about it with Brian, he told me that he could jump on board with being a family that eats mostly veggies, fruits, and grains, and that meat would be the side dish, not the main part of the meal. I'm not sure if I want to eat meat at all. I haven't missed it during this cleanse. I missed sugar much more! And tonight at Red Robin, I thought I would splurge on a burger, but the Garden Burger ended up appealing to me more, and it totally satisfied my appetite.

So, there you have it! Cleanse over! Woot!

Cleanse, Interrupted

True confession:

I totally cheated on my cleanse today.

I ate over half a pint of butter pecan ice cream.

And?  Five Samoas.

Hooray for the Girl Scouts of America and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ME!

Okay, time to climb back on the wagon now!

Two Weeks on the Cleanse

Well, here I am two weeks into the cleanse. I've never drunk so much green juice or eaten so much salad in my life. But I'm doing it, and so far so good. I've lost 5 pounds, too! Hooray!

Here's a photo of what the green juice looks like:

Off to drink some now!  One week to go!

The Power of a Name - Crazy Sexy Diet, Day 6

One of the side effects the author of Crazy Sexy Diet wrote that I might experience while doing the 21 Day Cleanse is feeling emotional. That has certainly been the case today. I fought back tears a couple of times before lunchtime.

This morning, I was teary thinking about my late step-dad, John. I really was missing him. He's the person who gave me the nickname Starshine, which is my favorite nickname ever.

I believe very strongly in the power of naming your child well. When we were considering names for the boys, we took into consideration both if we liked the sound of the name, as well as if we liked the meaning of the name. Somehow, it seems that the names we are given have the power to impact us, for better or for worse--not only our literal names, but also the names people call us (good and bad), and nicknames!

This morning, I was just feeling so touched by the meaning of my beloved nickname. John was such an encourager to me when it came to following my acting dreams. I'm sure that he chose the name Starshine for me, because it conjured up images of a big-time actress. He believed in the beauty of my dreams and supported me in my quest to go after them, and that has always meant so much to me. This morning, though, as I was thinking about John, I wondered what he might think about my life being on this side of my Hollywood journey. I left Hollywood never having won a big break, and certainly not having found stardom. (Although I'll be forever grateful for the myriad gifts God gave me while I was there: a husband!, an incredible acting teacher, a technique for acting on-camera, a renewed love for theatre acting, and some wonderful friends to name only a few.)

Without a doubt, John would still be proud of me. Without a doubt, I would still be his Starshine. And this morning, as I stood in this private moment, fighting back the tears, I realized that he didn't name me Starshine because he believed I would one day be a big star. He named me Starshine because he saw the light within my spirit, and he believed that I already was one.

That is the sweetest gift a father could give his daughter. My heart is filled with gratitude, and the floodgates have now let loose. Perhaps this diet isn't just cleansing my body, but also my soul.

Crazy Sexy Cleanse: Day 1

1. Did you abstain from coffee?  YES!
2. Did you abstain from alcohol?  YES!
3. Did you abstain from gluten?  YES!
4. Did you abstain from animal products?  YES!
5. Did you abstain from crack (aka sugar) and choose low-glycemic fruits and better alternatives such as stevia or agave?  YES!
6. Did you dry brush today? No...I need to buy a brush or a loofa.
7. Did you clean your sinuses with the good ol' net pot? YES!
8. Did you move your body for at least 35 minutes? No.
9. Did you meditate for fifteen to twenty minutes? No.
10. Did you chew your meals thoroughly and mindfully? I think I was so excited to eat, I ate quickly...
11. Did you laugh out loud and tell someone you loved him or her today? YES!
12. Did you spend time in nature? I spent about 2 mins in my backyard with Jeremy, but then we came in because it is COLD here!
13. Did you get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep? Close.
14. What did you eat today and did you juice? Morning: Water with lemon and cayenne pepper to start off the day, 2 cups of peppermint tea, green juice. Noon: Green salad with tomatoes and dressing. Afternoon snack: green juice and 2 brown rice cakes with almond butter. Dinner: Salad greens, with avacado, olives and tomatoes with quinoa.
15. How much purified water did you consume? You can include fresh veggie juices in your calculation. I think about 60ish ounces...but that's a guess.
16. What supplements did you take? Vitamin B12, Vitamin C and Iron.
17. How was your elimination? It happened.
18. What time did you stop eating? 7pm...3.5 hours before bed.
19. How do you feel physically? I was tired today, but I feel good tonight. My teeth looked grubby. Weird...usually they look really white. Could that be part of the detox?
20. How do you feel emotionally? Normal.


Note: My starting weight on this diet is 175 pounds. Yowza! 

And just like that, the train done arrived!

You might remember that I wrote here that I was pondering a way to jump back on the vegan train. Well, folks, the train has arrived at the station!

I have spent the past month reading and familiarizing myself with the Crazy Sexy Diet, and today I'm kick starting a new lifestyle with a 21 day vegan cleanse. This cleanse involves drinking a lot of green juice and eating a lot of green veggies.

I've decided to chronicle my 21 day journey to a cleaner system on this blog. At the end of each day, I'll be answering 20 questions of accountability posed by Kris Carr, author of the CSD. And I'll also be writing about how I'm feeling during the cleanse.

Here are the 20 questions:

1. Did you abstain from coffee?
2. Did you abstain from alcohol?
3. Did you abstain from gluten?
4. Did you abstain from animal products?
5. Did you abstain from crack (aka sugar) and choose low-glycemic fruits and better alternatives such as stevia or agave?
6. Did you dry brush today? (Dry brushing is just what it sounds like...taking a special brush or loofa to your dry skin and brushing yourself from toe to nose!)
7. Did you clean your sinuses with the good ol' net pot?
8. Did you move your body for at least 35 minutes?
9. Did you meditate for fifteen to twenty minutes?
10. Did you chew your meals thoroughly and mindfully?
11. Did you laugh out loud and tell someone you loved him or her today?
12. Did you spend time in nature? Even five minutes is better than nothing.
13. Did you get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep?
14. What did you eat today and did you juice? Include breakfast, lunch, dinner, and any in-between snacking--it may help to jot down meals and snacks throughout the day.
15. How much purified water did you consume? You can include fresh veggie juices in your calculation.
16. What supplements did you take?
17. How was your elimination?
18. What time did you stop eating? Three hours before bed is optimum.
19. How do you feel physically?
20. How do you feel emotionally?

Hop on the train and enjoy the ride with me for the next few weeks!

An Open Letter to my Knight

Dear Brian,

You are a true rock star.

On Thursday night when I started feeling like I was getting sick, you already knew that the weekend ahead we had planned was quite possibly about to go up in flames. You didn't even flinch. You just tucked me in to bed and told me we'd reevaluate in the morning.

Thirty minutes later, when the chills started in mixed with a cocktail of achy muscles and a fever, you calmly told me to hydrate myself and you hunkered down for next 24 hours, which I can only call The Day I Felt Like Doo Doo with an Extra Helping of Dukey on the Side.

You held my hand, you went to the pharmacy to buy my Tylenol, a thermometer, and Gatorade three separate times. Like I said? ROCK STAR!

You called your sister with whom you were really looking forward to spending the weekend (Mom, aren't you proud of how that preposition was handled?), and broke the news and you didn't even complain about my silly flu once.

That's right, I have the flu. When I got a little nervous on Friday afternoon about the possibility of it being the swine flu, you did internet research and then drove me to the local urgent care clinic, just so we could both rest easy.  

And then you tucked me back in bed and drove to my new favorite Mexican restaurant and bought me chicken tortilla soup because I was havin' a hankering.

You have been the sweetest, most loving caretaker, and I don't really know how to thank you sufficiently.

It was one of those weekends when I so appreciated having a husband who loves me so well. Life with you is exponentially better than life without you. Your love for me is sacrificial, and I love you so much.

This Starshine-in-distress knew she had married an awesome man the day she said "I do", but this weekend she realized that he is a Rock Star-in-shining-armor.

When he said "in sickness and in health", he really meant it, and that makes him more noble than any knight in the land.

A Good Supporting Player

I came across this article this morning on Yahoo Health suggesting that eating lots of red meat increases one's mortality risk. This was my favorite quote from the article:

Successfully shifting away from red meat can be as easy as increasing fruits and vegetables in the diet, said Elisabetta Politi of the Duke Diet and Fitness Center in Durham, N.C.

"I'm not saying everybody should turn into vegetarians," Politi said. "Meat should be a supporting actor on the plate, not the main character."

It seemed apropos to a conversation I had with Hubs a couple nights ago at dinner. I intended to make 2009 the Year of the Veggie, and I did pretty well for the first month or two, but somewhere on the drive to Texas from California, it turned into the Week of the Hamburger.  ;0)

Ever since arriving in Texas, I have been eating meat as part of my diet, but not making it the major thing I'm eating. I told Hubs that I think I feel best when I am including meat in my diet, but when its portion on my plate is like a side dish, and not the main part of the meal. For example, we had a big salad the other night with lots of diced veggies and lettuce with bits of rotisserie chicken shredded on top. I like the principal part of the meal to be the veggies, and for the meat to be the "supporting player".

Just a little food for thought....

Gym Class

True confession: 

I liked gym class in elementary school, back when gym class was all fun and games and square dancing. Once I started middle school, though, I was never a big fan. I've never been a naturally good distance runner, so trotting around the track was not my idea of a good time. 

I had exercise-induced asthma as a child, and I used to leisurely meander from gym class to the nurse's office every day to take a hit off my inhaler, and then find every excuse imaginable to dawdle on my way back to class, to miss as much of it as possible without getting into trouble. 

"Oh, look--there's a water fountain! Better take a sip."

"Hmm. I better stop and read every flyer on that bulletin board."

You get the idea. Thank goodness I have Hubs to motivate me to go to the gym with him. It's still not really my idea of a good time.

"X" is for "X-Ray"

I had a dental appointment last week, and I have to say that I was surprised that they wanted to take x-rays when they had taken them only 6 months ago at my last visit. Apparently, it is now the standard practice at this dental office to x-ray every 6 months.

Does that not sit well with anyone else?

Growing up, once a year x-rays were taken as a standard practice, and uncomfortable as they were, I did it. However, as I got older and my dermatologist noted what sensitive skin I have, he recommended that I get as little radiation as possible, from the sun and also from x-rays. X-rays can also do damage to sun-sensitive skin. So I've made it my practice since then only to have my mouth x-rayed when absolutely necessary.

Six months ago, I had two fillings, so I went ahead and let them x-ray me today. When I expressed my concern to the dental hygienist, she told me that the amount of radiation I get from an x-ray is less than I get watching television and similar to what I would get standing in front of the microwave oven. The thing is that I am one of those people who leaves the kitchen when I run the microwave because I don't know what is being released in the way of radiation. My big question, though, is this: If getting my mouth x-rayed is no more dangerous than being in the same room with my television on, why in the world do they feel the need to throw a lead covering on me, tell me to keep my hands under it, to be sure to close my eyes, and then they leave the room to take the picture.

People, something isn't adding up. And next time, I'm not going to forgo the x-rays all together. I am a big believer in listening to the doctors, but I'm an even bigger believer in listening to my body and to myself. I didn't feel good about having my mouth x-rayed today, even though I let it happen. Next time? I'm stating what I want and I won't be swayed by some kind of logic that just doesn't add up.

"R" is for Rollerblades!

I have always loved roller skating. I remember the kind I had when I was really little. Plastic things that I strapped on over my sneakers. Then I graduated to white leather lace-ups. Then I got the groovy sneaker skates with a toe stop. Finally, my junior year in high school, I got rollerblades!  I LOVED them and skated on them for about a decade. I went through several sets of wheels and ball bearings with them. And then, about 2 and a half years ago, I lost them. They just disappeared, and I have no idea where they went. 

I really missed them because they are such a fun form of exercise, so for Christmas, I asked for a gift card to Sports Authority (thanks, Mom!). Finally, on Friday, I went and used my gift card to buy myself a new pair. They are so cute...light gray with lavender accents.

Thank you, Mom, for my new skates!  :)  I look forward to integrating rollerblading back into my exercise regime again. It's hard to find a good place to go in my urban So Cal neighborhood, but I'm thinking that Saturdays on the boardwalk at the beach sound just about perfect!

This promotion has been brought to you by The Starshine Report

I don't know about you, but when the winter air gets cold and dry, my skin gets dry and itchy! No amount of lotion seems to help. After a couple months of this itchy craziness, I found myself in the soap aisle of the grocery store because I needed to buy some new body wash for the shower. I found this awesome product: Dove Cream Oil Body Wash. After about a week of use, my skin isn't itchy anymore! I continued to lotion (as per usual), and *bam!* healthy moisturized skin! Just thought I'd share, since it seems like half of the country is buried under snow and record low temperatures.