I finally took the NCLEX!

Oh the agony! LOL

So I took the NCLEX today. There are just a few things I will say about it.

1) I have never seen those meds before in my life.
2) Simply put it was an exam of "Choose the best bonehead answer out of all bonehead answers".
3) I better pass cause I never want to go through that again!

It cut off at 75 questions, which is the minimum. You'd have to understand how NCLEX pass/fail goes, but it basically meant either I majorly passed or I majorly failed. I can control the pessimistic devil that sits on my shoulder but today... OMG! I SOOOOO wanted to drop.

But I ended up coming home. Making a 64 oz drink and laying down to watch the baby kittens in their box playing. That was enough to put me to sleep. Thank goodness Marty went in early so he was home. So many people think that I passed without a doubt and I think I believe that. But I'm soooooo cautious! LOL I'm such a dork.

Well anyways, we will find out Thursday if I'm officially an RN!

Until then, I have family from Ohio down here in Atlanta for a medical convention. So it will be nice to see them this week sometime!

It's 2 am... 3 days before the final

I'm working so hard to keep motivated studying for this final exam on Friday. I did a great job reading the entire chapters on acid/base imbalances and shock. Then I got into watching Fringe (which was a very good episode BTW) & I can't seem to get back to it.

Of course, I feel very overwhelmed right now with everything I have to do and pay for. And money is so rare these days. With two growing boys in the house (13 & 4) food is rare too if it's not stocked on a daily (or hourly) basis! LOL

Marty is going to print up a 20 page study guide that I have and I'll use that to study with tomorrow. My main focus tomorrow will be meds and Neuro. Thursday I will finish with Endocrine, Multi-System, and whatever else I need to brush up on. I will go to bed around 9:00 hopefully so with last minute insomnia I will be asleep by midnight. Plus I'll head out to campus around 7:00 so I can sit and review my 20 page study guide one last time LOL

Yes, I actually have to sit down and plan these things out. Whether I follow it or not I still feel like I have a handle on a chaotic situation.

Without an exam review afterwards I won't know what my grade is until they post it online. So I will be an emotional wreck up until then. I have to score at least a 65% to pass Advanced Nursing. I KNOW I can do this, but I still get that little devil on my shoulder saying "But you might not!" ARGH! Think positively. God has brought you this far. BELIEVE!

I know I'm just tired right now and I need to go to sleep but I was hoping to see Marty when he gets home. I love laying on the couch next to him in the middle of the night watching what we recorded on Tivo that night. I've just got a headache. I need to rest up for another day of studying tomorrow.

So say I pass my final Friday, I have pinning practice next Wednesday, pinning Thursday night, and then graduation Friday morning. This is the end. I can't believe it. Sorta bummed in a way that this journey is about to come to an end and a new journey begins. But then again I'm happy :-)

Off to sleep I go...

Things a diabetic just doesn’t want to hear...

Ok I’m really not happy about having to go back on insulin. Probably for good now. So I’ll warn you, I’m a little touchy. I’m SO exhausted and just want to stay in bed for a few weeks.

From here on out I’m not telling ANYONE I’m diabetic (in person, at least). Everyone seems to think it’s ok to watch every bite I eat and then tell me how they think it’s not good for me. Diabetic or not, it’s SO rude to point out what someone is eating WHILE they are eating. Nothing aggravates me more than someone looking at my food in front of everyone saying "You can’t eat potatoes!" "You can’t eat rice!" "You can’t eat bourbon chicken!" It’s embarrassing and makes me feel like shit. Yeah people might think they’re "helping" me, but they’re hurting me so bad. A relative of mine used to be real bad at that. If she called and I was cooking something she’d find SOMETHING wrong with what I was eating. Even if it was corn it’s "bad".

Someone in "authority" at my school is real bad at that. She could be eating something way worse than me and if I call her on it she says "Well, I’m not the one who can’t metabolize sugar". I mean damn. That sounds like middle school "Well at least I have more money than you do". There’s nothing I hate more than diabetes. I don’t want ANYONE else the rest of my life know that I have it. I wish there was a cure for it because then I could tell people "Yeah I’m cured" even if I wasn’t. Everyone is quick to criticize but when I WANT to take care of myself it’s an inconvenience to everyone "You’re going to the dr when?!" And it’s almost like "that someone" teases me. She makes me go 7-8 hours between meals. If I snack it’s like everyone looks at me like "OMG!"

Diabetes is like a Scarlet Letter. I hate diabetes. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t want it. I HATE IT!!!!!!! Damn I want to cry so bad right now.

So to everyone who knows a diabetic, please don’t offer up unsolicited advice on what they’re eating. I mean, there’s tactful ways of bringing it up, but not while they’re eating. And don’t assume that a diabetic is doing something wrong and that’s why they have diabetes. Even with a type 2, you hear that obesity contributes to diabetes. Don’t assume that because someone is a type 2 they have it cause they’re fat. I "got" diabetes when I weighed less than 150 pounds. Alot of people gain weight with diabetes and it’s harder for them to take it off. Nothing like your body thinking you’re starving it (because your cells aren’t getting the sugar it needs) so many things go into effect like kicking up your appetite, when the last thing you need is food! Hell, I gained more weight with diabetes than I ever did in my two pregnancies combined. And alot of the meds pack on the pounds as well. I’m not trying to make excuses, just trying to explain a few things. It’s amazing how little people know and that’s ok. That’s where education comes in. I’m sure I don’t always say the right things to my patients because I’m learning something new or whatever. But I’m trying to learn so much about so many things so that I can be a good nurse.

Have you hugged a diabetic today? (God knows I need a big one)

Sorry... those are my two cents. Sometimes you just need to feel sorry for yourself for a few minutes LOL