I'm funny, I really am. I really don't care much if anybody else agrees, but let me share with you one of my most recent, favorite, funny pranks.
Briggs came home from school one day and began to tell me about his day. He only does this if he has something he wants to brag about. Today he wanted to brag about the trivia question he answered correctly. This was such a big deal because no other student in class knew the answer. Once you read the question you will quickly understand why Briggs knew the answer, especially if you know his father.
Question: What walk was Michael Jackson most famous for?
Of course, it's the moonwalk and, what surprises me most is the fact that no other kid in class knew the answer. Come on people! Seriously? Even more shocking, most of them had no idea what the moonwalk was. This, to me, is crazy. I grew up jumping on the bed with my siblings yelling the words to "Beat it" as loud as I could. I have proudly passed this tradition on to my children, minus the bed jumping. One other important detail to this story is the fact that Sean is a huge Michael Jackson fan and, honestly, all kidding aside, thinks he can dance just like him. I always share this with big groups of people and try to get him to dance. He loves it.
As Briggs was telling me this shocking information (nobobdy knew what the moonwalk was) a light immediately went off in my twisted head. I instantly grabbed a piece of paper and this is what I wrote:
Mrs. McLauchlin,
Briggs has shared with me that his father knows how to do the moonwalk. The children are curious as to how this is done, therefore, I was wondering if he would be willing to come in Friday morning at 8:45 to demonstrate this for the class. I would really appreciate it! Please let me know by tomorrow. Thank you!
Mrs. Coleman
Hehehehehe! I let the kids in on this prank and threatened them with their lives if they gave it away. Sean called on his way home. Perfect set up! I told him I received an interesting note from Briggs' teacher and he'd have to wait to find out until he arrived home.
Watching him read the letter was priceless! Lucky for me, it fit perfectly to laugh, because usually I'm a terrible prankster. I can think up the prank, but pulling it off is another story. My face always gives it away. Not this time. He, of course, didn't want to do it. He couldn't believe this was happening to him. There was no way he was going to do it but I gave him a guilt trip and he was totally convinced. I didn't want to tell him the truth right away so I let it go.
Hours later, as he was talking with our sister-in-law on the phone he began to tell her about having to go into the school. It was all he could think about. I burst out laughing because I had forgot to tell him the truth. You can imagine his heartbreak when he learned he wasn't really wanted.
I still kick myself today for telling him I wrote the letter. I really wish I would have let him show up at Briggs' class ready to do the moonwalk. The teacher would've thought he was insane. Now that would've been funny! I would definitely have videotaped that whole awkward scenario. But, that's me, I love awkward!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Brain troubles
Have you ever had moments where you freak out only to realize you are really just an idiot? I have these moments quite frequently and I happened to have one tonight. These usually take place when something small happens and my imagination takes off. I don't think my brain works normally. I will forever remember one of the biggest freak outs I ever had. I was anywhere from 10-13. It was late one night and I had just climbed into bed. The lights were out and, all of a sudden, I heard this strange crackling noise. It wasn't too loud, but it was something I had never heard before. Terror immediately came upon me and the first thing that popped into my mind was that I was experiencing an earthquake. I sat there, frozen, not knowing what to do. All of a sudden, I jumped out of bed and flipped on the lights. What did I find? The fan I slept with every night was blowing directly onto a pom pom that was hanging from a shelf. Embarrassing.
Well, tonight I had a similar experience. This time I was standing in my kitchen, as a grown adult, and I had just taken some Excedrin Migraine for the headache I've had for 2 years, which might be why my brain doesn't work right. I had just flipped the lights off so I could go to bed. (I must note that these two experiences also happened at night when my brain should be dreaming.) I noticed that a weird noise was coming from the kitchen. I flipped the lights back on and walked towards the noise. My microwave was going with 58 seconds left. This is what went through my mind: It's a ghost. That's scary. There is absolutely no other possibility. A ghost had to have turned my microwave on because I'm the only one awake. That is what my brain told me. I really, truly believed this to be true as I hit cancel. It took about 2 seconds to remember I was the ghost and had turned it on to heat up my neck wrap thingy to help with my headache. I am losing my mind, fo sho.
Well, tonight I had a similar experience. This time I was standing in my kitchen, as a grown adult, and I had just taken some Excedrin Migraine for the headache I've had for 2 years, which might be why my brain doesn't work right. I had just flipped the lights off so I could go to bed. (I must note that these two experiences also happened at night when my brain should be dreaming.) I noticed that a weird noise was coming from the kitchen. I flipped the lights back on and walked towards the noise. My microwave was going with 58 seconds left. This is what went through my mind: It's a ghost. That's scary. There is absolutely no other possibility. A ghost had to have turned my microwave on because I'm the only one awake. That is what my brain told me. I really, truly believed this to be true as I hit cancel. It took about 2 seconds to remember I was the ghost and had turned it on to heat up my neck wrap thingy to help with my headache. I am losing my mind, fo sho.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Spitting Image
I have always thought that my little munchkin looks just like Bailee Madison. Well,the proof is in the pudding!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
I wonder
I often wonder if my husband is half frog or at least 1/3. The noises that come from his mouth are in no way human. I'm not exaggerating here. He's even turned heads and made a lady jump in the supermarket. It isn't normal. What's even stranger is that I'm good with it. Being "normal" is overrated.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Haunted
I think the dog I gave away, Dexter, is haunting me. I thought getting rid of him would be the end, but, clearly, it is not. I find something almost everyday that reminds me of him...the chewed up baptism book that a friend made for my 8 year old, a ruined shoe or pee on the carpet that I ripped up for my salon floor. His presence remains.
His presence has now taken over my pinterest account. I am not sure what I clicked on at some point or another, but pinterest has this idea that I want to see countless pictures of dogs all over my opening page. I don't. I don't like it at all and I'm not sure how to stop it. There is no way that I EVER clicked on a picture of a dog and repinned it, so why would dogs be taking up my front page. Dexter, I tell you. He's here and he's watching me.
Dexter, leave me alone. I do not miss you. Those six months are some that I wish I could erase from my mind. I am grateful everyday that you are no longer a part of my life. Grateful that I no longer have to pick up shredded who knows what every time I turn around. You are very cute, but, it didn't take long to learn that looks are deceiving. No amount of dog pictures on pinterest are going to make me want you back. It's over, sorry buddy.
His presence has now taken over my pinterest account. I am not sure what I clicked on at some point or another, but pinterest has this idea that I want to see countless pictures of dogs all over my opening page. I don't. I don't like it at all and I'm not sure how to stop it. There is no way that I EVER clicked on a picture of a dog and repinned it, so why would dogs be taking up my front page. Dexter, I tell you. He's here and he's watching me.
Dexter, leave me alone. I do not miss you. Those six months are some that I wish I could erase from my mind. I am grateful everyday that you are no longer a part of my life. Grateful that I no longer have to pick up shredded who knows what every time I turn around. You are very cute, but, it didn't take long to learn that looks are deceiving. No amount of dog pictures on pinterest are going to make me want you back. It's over, sorry buddy.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Time
Time really passes so quickly. So quickly, that when I turned 30 this past year it just didn't seem possible. I swear I'm still 20. I have no problem growing older. Maybe I should say, I HAD no problem growing older. That was, until certain experiences started creeping up and it made getting older very apparent. These are signs, all of which actually happened, that show me I'm no longer 20.
So, you know you're getting older when:
*You have arthritis in more than one joint at one time
*You cannot do burpees because fast movements throw your back out plus it hurts your arthritic toe
*You're not exactly sure how old you are, but you can guess within a year or two
*You can't wait to show your friends the new project you just crocheted
*The only thing you want for Christmas is a juicer
*You have to edit all of your wrinkles out of your photos in Photoshop
*Your kids ask you if you were alive when Michael Jordan played basketball
*You use expressions your parents used and you once laughed at them for it (Good Heavens!) That's not the only one. All of the others include swear words.
*You try to get away with only washing your hair once a week
*You go to Las Vegas when MTV Spring Break is in town, but you don't realize it because you are there for a Bon Jovi concert.
*You have to sit during the Bon Jovi concert because your arthritic toe is acting up again.
*You keep your pillow and blanket downstairs because you sleep on the couch at night. Why? because you're too tired to walk up the stairs at the end of the day.
*Your 8 year old informs you, you are singing the wrong words to a popular song. When he tells you what he thinks it says you don't believe him so you turn the music up to listen, only to realize you are, in fact, wrong and the 8 year old is correct.
Whenever I feel ancient, I know of a way to remedy the situation. I take a trip through Sun City and my depression turns into road rage in .3 seconds. Problem solved.
So, you know you're getting older when:
*You have arthritis in more than one joint at one time
*You cannot do burpees because fast movements throw your back out plus it hurts your arthritic toe
*You're not exactly sure how old you are, but you can guess within a year or two
*You can't wait to show your friends the new project you just crocheted
*The only thing you want for Christmas is a juicer
*You have to edit all of your wrinkles out of your photos in Photoshop
*Your kids ask you if you were alive when Michael Jordan played basketball
*You use expressions your parents used and you once laughed at them for it (Good Heavens!) That's not the only one. All of the others include swear words.
*You try to get away with only washing your hair once a week
*You go to Las Vegas when MTV Spring Break is in town, but you don't realize it because you are there for a Bon Jovi concert.
*You have to sit during the Bon Jovi concert because your arthritic toe is acting up again.
*You keep your pillow and blanket downstairs because you sleep on the couch at night. Why? because you're too tired to walk up the stairs at the end of the day.
*Your 8 year old informs you, you are singing the wrong words to a popular song. When he tells you what he thinks it says you don't believe him so you turn the music up to listen, only to realize you are, in fact, wrong and the 8 year old is correct.
Whenever I feel ancient, I know of a way to remedy the situation. I take a trip through Sun City and my depression turns into road rage in .3 seconds. Problem solved.
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