My Babies

It's pretty official I don't have a baby anymore. Madeline is so close to walking already! She crawls all over the place and climbs up onto everything! She chows down on baby food and is basically already weaning herself. She has such personality now and it is so funny to see how different she is from Carson.

Carson is a talker! He just chats and chats all day long and his speech continues to improve drastically each day. He's the smartest little 2 year old I know, and tries to copy everything his daddy and I do. He's currently obsessed with Big Hero 6 (he calls it Robots) and always begs me to play the scene where they fly through San Fransokyo for the first time. 

Each night both of them end up in our bed somehow. Carson has become so sneaky at coming into our room at night that we don't notice he's there until morning. It's very endearing to me that our children want to cuddle up next to us all night long.
If daddy is home, don't expect Carson to listen to a word I say. He is definitely a daddy's boy and all day long will ask me where he is.
Luckily Madeline is a mommy's girl....so far. If she even sees me walk to the other side of the room, the wailing begins. when Dallas feeds her, I either can't be in her line of sight or earshot, or have to be right there next to  Dallas so she knows I'm watching her.

It's hard to imagine she's already 8 months old! I still think of her as my tiny baby girl.

Carson loves to pray. If we are saying a prayer, whether or not it his "his turn", he will be repeating every word we are saying. He is so serious about them that he will even get mad at Madeline if she isn't cooperating by folding her arms and sitting still.
He insists on helping us cook in the kitchen, always grabbing a chair and pushing it right up to the counter next to us. And during play time, he pretends to go cook on his play kitchen. Maybe we have a future chef?

These beautiful babies are my absolute joy in life. I'm so glad they are mine!

Motherhood

I feel that lately there have been tons of articles circulating social media about what we should and shouldn't do as parents, or what we should and shouldn't  care about, etc.
I'm not sure if it's in light of these articles or just adjusting to being a mother of two, or even something else, but I do know I've done a lot of thinking and had a lot of personal revelation on this very subject. 

Motherhood is so sacred. Think about it....Heavenly Father TRUSTED us to care for and raise HIS children! Let's put this into perspective:

Imagine the most important person you can think of...the president, or Queen of England maybe. 

Now imagine they personally asked you to raise their child for them....teach them their ways, care for and protect them, help them make the right decisions.
Humbling, right? Now realize that our Father in Heaven, who is greater than all of them, asked us and trusted us to raise His children.
Wow.

I must be pretty special in His eyes to be given that amount of trust! There are definitely many days I feel inadequate. I feel like I'm not the best mother I can be, I fall short in so many ways. I could be better about less tv. I could be better about healthier meals. I could be better at being patient with them. I could be better in so many things!

I often wonder if I'm raising them correctly, teaching them correct principles and disciplining them as Christ would. I worry they'll go astray as teenagers because I didn't teach them enough or in the right way. I worry about protecting them in such a scary world. 

And yes, most days are really hard. I wait and wait and wait for Dallas to get home so he can take over and I can have a break. Even then, I wait and wait for their bedtime so I can go to bed myself.
Motherhood is hard. So so hard.

Heavenly Father trusts us. He trusts me. He trusts you. He knows perfectly how difficult motherhood is. He knows our worries, our fears, our inadequacies.
And I keep thinking, if He has this much trust in me, and I believe in and trust in Him, shouldn't I believe in and trust myself?
Yes, I'm not perfect, and He knows that. But He helps me and strengthens me to make me the best I can be.


As I've realized all of this, I've realized what matters right now and what simply doesn't. I have two young children under 3. I can't keep up on housework or facebook or friendships or anything else for that matter. And frankly, it isn't important.
Right now, my two children need me. So instead of trying to clean the house, I let them help me clean a little, and then play with them. Most days I don't get a shower in or even get out of my sweats if I don't have to go anywhere, and that's ok! My kids don't care what I look like. They care that I'm there for them.
I've chosen to not sleep train my children anymore, as frustrated as I was that both of them are not sleeping through the night, because again, I've realized, they need me. I sit in Carson's room with him until he falls asleep because that's comforting to him. I still swaddle and rock Madeline to sleep because that is the only way she likes it and will stay asleep. Yes, it takes time out of my day, but isn't that my calling? Isn't that what I'm supposed to be doing...being a mother to my children?
Of course!

I do get to all my other items, cleaning, meals, etc. But what I have found is that my days are so much better, so much easier and more spiritual, when I focus on my children and do everything else last.

I want all of you mothers reading this to know that Heavenly Father loves and trusts in you. We will not mother the same, because we  are all different and we all have different children. Focus on your family and do exactly what is right for you and your family.
We need to all stop caring about why you shouldn't wear leggings, or why you should discipline your child a certain way, or anything else for that matter. We all can make our own personal choices as to the right way to do things as we remember that Heavenly Father trusts us and wants us to trust ourselves.
You are an amazing mother!