Best Seller??

Every once in a while I get on a reading kick. I find a good book that jump starts my obsession and then for the next 3 months all I wanna do is read anything and everything I can get my hands on. But then, of course, I read one book that is just so horribly terrible that it makes me wanna pluck my eyes out and give myself paper cuts with the pages of the book. And when that happens, I usually take a break from reading for another 3 months until I find another well reviewed book and try it again.

For the last little while, I've been in the obsession cycle. I've read so many books in the last few weeks that my friends on Twitter are getting sick of my reading updates. (No joke. A friend got mad cuz he kept seeing my Tweets pop up every time I updated my progress on GoodReads. I think he's just jealous cuz he can't read!! j/k)

I finally got hold of a copy of Stieg Larsson's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I had heard lots of good things about this book, and it had been at the top of the best-sellers list for a long time. I was excited to see what all the fuss was about.

I cracked open the spine and sank in, waiting to be impressed. I kept waiting, and kept waiting, and kept waiting. At about 150 pages into the book, still nothing had happened. I was about to throw in the towel. Who the hell cares how much coffee the freakin' Swedish people drink or where the hell the main character goes on a walk each morning?!? There's absolutely no plot and zero character development.

Finally, FINALLY, when I just couldn't take it anymore, I get some action. Mind you, I'm already 3/4 of the way through the book at this point and only now the plot starts to unravel? The writing and dialog is still horrible, mind you, but at least we've got some kind of story line.

At this point, I'm just eager to finish the damn thing so I can move on to something more interesting. Doubt I'll be reading the subsequent books of the series. Stieg Larsson did not impress. And all you out there who wrote positive reviews and told me the book was good...you're all liars!

There is absolutely NOTHING positive about this book, especially subject matter. You enjoy page after stifling page of financial jargon and economic debates? Well then this book is for you. Are you intrigued by sadists, rapists, and serial killers? You've come to the right place!

How depressing. Think I need a Zoloft to finish this thing. I'm in too deep now to just put it down and walk away. Plus, I've kinda got this OCD thing about finishing books all the way through. If I start a book, I absolutely HAVE to finish it. For some reason, I can't walk away. It's like it'll haunt me forever if I don't finish it.

~sigh~ Just another cross I bear.

The Browns

What do two girls, obsessed with reality shows, do when they're bored? Why, they take a Sister Wives tour, of course!

My friend Shauna told me we needed to go stalk the Sister Wives clan. And, I mean, why wouldn't we when they only live 15 minutes away? So she gets online and Googles the address for Kody Brown in Lehi. Just like that, an address pops up. Shauna doesn't believe her luck and calls her friend who happens to live only 2 blocks away from the Plygs. She verifies the address with him and low and behold, it's the correct address!

Next thing you know...

Yup. That's definitely Shauna standing in front of the Brown's house.

Next, it's my turn to take a picture, but just as I'm approaching the yard, 2 freaking guard dogs come running out after us. I literally just about peed my pants. I seriously thought I was gonna die that day; eaten by dogs in the middle of Polygamist land. Just as I resigned myself to being attacked, an SUV of two other curious girls drove up next to us and frightened off the rabid beasts. Thank you Grilled Cheesus!

The girls in the SUV started giggling, knowing full well that Shauna and I were snooping...so were they! But they asked us,

"Did you see her?"

"What? Who?!"

"It was Christine!"

Apparently, while we were running for our lives from Cujo, Christine had come outside to meet the Roto Rooter guy who had just pulled up to the house.

By the time I got up the nerve to go back to the house for a picture, she was already back inside. Damn! So close!

Oh, hey Kody! Hey Christine and your 57 kids!

We ended our tour by visiting Flour Girls and Dough Boys. You'd recognize it as the bakery Kody and the wives went to to taste cakes for Robyn's wedding. You know, the one where all the wives closed their eyes to vote on their favorite cake and then Kody started dancing like an idiot? Yeah, we even sat at that exact same table, right below the big canvas painting of Audrey Hepburn.

Oh, and the picture of the disclaimer from the previous teaser post was posted at the cash register of the bakery. Just as we walked up to pay for our delicious shortbread cookies, the customer ahead of us, an elderly woman, looked at the disclaimer and started talking to the bakery employee about how "silly" all those Polygamists are. Bahahahahahahaha!!!!

So if you're ever in town and wanna take the tour, let me know! I'll drive you out to the compound for your own picture, but make sure to bring some dog treats.

Preamble

Here's a little teaser for my next blog post.

Ramblings

1) Twice this weekend I attempted to run 18 miles. Twice this weekend I have failed. Made it 13.5 today. Not even close! Next weekend I'll try again. But I have to wonder, why do I even bother? I mean, really. Why run marathons? I hate running! It's hard. It's sweaty. It sucks! In all honesty, the only real reason why I won't let myself stop is for bragging rights. I'm pretty vain.

2) I'm so glad my friend Shauna is in town. As much as she hates being in Utah and misses L.A., I'm secretly ecstatic that her week-long trip here has extended into a 3-week trip. I love hanging out with Shauna. She makes me feel normal again. Plus, she sings Broadway duets with me. Best friend ever, right?

PS
You should really check out Shauna's blog. She gets it.

3) Sister Wives is the most disgusting, most revolting, and most barfiest show of all time. I can't stop watching it.

4) My birthday is this week. Only 4 more days. (I know you've been counting down.) I can't wait! I love love LOVE presents 'cause not only am I vain, but I'm also superficial.

5) I've been in a crazy reading mode lately. I want to read anything I can get my hands on. I generally have at least 2 books going at a time plus I'm listening to an audiobook on my iPod while I run. I finally cracked open The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo to see what all the fuss was about. So far, I'm not impressed. Rather, I'm bored as hell. Nothing gets me to sleep faster than lame financial talk. Boring. When is this gonna start getting good?

6) Just like my birthday, I can not wait for Christmas. I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet and it's like illegal or something to get into the Christmas spirit before Thanksgiving, but I've already started shopping for gifts. As much as I like receiving gifts, I like giving them, too. And of course, I go overboard buying for Lalea. But I think I'm actually just about done buying her gifts and so far I think I've only spent like $25 on her. Not bad! Ryan will be another story. For one, I don't have my own money this year to buy his gift so I'll just be using his credit card to buy his own presents. Not really a present then, is it?

7) I signed up with some friends to play volleyball in Spanish Fork. SF is know to be pretty competitive city league. We've signed up for the A division. We're all awesome volleyball players and we won stake regionals last year, but I really dont' see us winning too many games in the SF league. I'm telling you, this league is legit, especially the A division. We're talking collegiate level play. I'm so excited, though. But I guess this means I'll actually have to start trying in games instead of half-assing it like a usually do. Damn. I like being lazy.

Best Audition EVER

K, found my new obsession for the month: Danyl Johnson.

This has to be one of the best first auditions EVER!!! I'm not even exaggerating. Simon agrees with me!

While he may not have the best voice I've ever heard, he's definitely an amazing performer. Regardless, I'm super excited to start stalking this kid on YouTube. How did I not know about him before???

Hacking into the main frame

Remember 10 years ago when everyone used American Online? Remember AOL instant messenger? Yeah, I had an account back in the day...prior to Facebook, Twitter, and all the other way more efficient social networking sites.

Like many of you, I dropped AOL for Myspace and hadn't signed in once in at least the past 7 years. Seriously. I think the last time I used AOL was when I was a freshman at BYU.

I had all but forgotten about my AOL days until just last week; my husband said he received an email from good ol' hawinstyle@aim.com...my husband, along with my aunt, friends, cousins, and old room mates. Yup, a mass email from hawinstyle@aim.com advertising Canadian Viagra.

Damn hackers. You've forced me to go into all my online accounts and change my user names and passwords. Though, I hear you're supposed to do that every few months anyways, right? Huh, who knew?!

So to whoever hacked into hawinstyle@aim.com, knock it off! You're very inconvenient!

Feliz Cumpleaños

With my birthday only 2 weeks away, I know you all are just DYING to know what gift to get me. So to make it easier on you all, I've once again composed a wish list. You should probably coordinate amongst yourselves and decide who will purchase which items. How embarrassing to double up on a gift, unless, of course, it's the first item on my list...

Donations to the LLS
That's right, ya'll. I'm at it again! Though I'm in the process of training for my second marathon in December, I will be doing the Ogden marathon with Team in Training again in May. This time around, though, I'll be a team captain. Woo hoo! But I still need your help! I need to raise $700 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by April 30th. Therefore, I am accepting donations as birthday gifts. Please make checks out to The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. And as always, donations are 100% tax deductible. See? It's the gift that keeps on giving!

RENT tickets
Finally, RENT has come to SLC! Well, it hasn't come yet, but next June you'd better believe I'll be singing my heart out right along with Angel, Benny, and Mark. Thanks to mi madre, this gift has already been taken care of. Can't wait to see it with her!

Clothes
Now that I have a child, I rarely by myself clothes. Instead, I spend all my money on decking Lalea out in converse, Hurley, and skinny jeans. It's been FOREVER since I've bought myself some new duds, and I need them desperately! But just like the RENT tix, this gift has also been covered. With a quick trip up to Park City,, I've got my fall and winter wardrobe covered! Thanks Buggy!! You da best!

Garments
Remember how I'm obsessed with changing my underwear every 2 seconds? Yeah well, help feed the addiction.

Boots
I have ginormous calves. There ain't no denying. And because of these monsters, I have never been able to find a pair of boots that fit me. I'm not talking a little tight to zip up. I'm talking, they won't even zip up past my ankle. Yes. My calves are that big. (But baby, they're solid muscle! Jealous? You should be.) However, I went to Payless the other day and actually found some boots that not only fit over my gams, but had room to spare. Miracle of miracles! So it's not that I just want these boots, I NEED these boots! When will I ever again find a pair of boots that fit? BUY THEM FOR ME NOW!!!!!!!!

And if all else fails, grab me a TJ Maxx gift card. Ya'll know that's my favorite store of all time. I'm also accepting cold hard cash. So again, coordinate with one another as to who's buying me what, and I'll see ya on the 21st to celebrate the day I was brought into this world. It really should be a national holiday, ya know?