I know how crazy that sounds, peacefully stressed, but that is exactly how I feel. There is so much to do and so little time, but I'm exhausted all the time and have decided to roll with it. I can hardly believe I am due in 9 weeks! Also if she follows Graysons' example then she could come in just a little over 6 weeks. So even though I know she could be stubborn and come after her due date (that would be just fine), I know I need to be prepared before these 6 weeks are up. I laugh when I realize I have bought her one newborn outfit, and even then I need to find white leggings for it to be fall appropriate. As much as I love to decorate and plan I know all this baby really needs are some jammies and diapers to make it in the beginning.
I have been worried about the big room move, Ryan wants to put it off as long as possible (for very good reasons). Grayson has been having a harder time with sleep, falling asleep, staying asleep, ect.. needless to say our bed often has the whole family cuddling. :/ This move puts him closer to Jason's room and between Jason's room and bathroom. Jason (our friend who lives above the garage) watches loud-ish movies at night and has a loud alarm in the morning, not to mention having to go get ready in his bathroom. None of these things are Jason's fault, or are expected to change of course, so that all might be extra difficult for Grayson not let these things effect his sleep even more. I however, worry about his jealousy and the strain that not having all the attention he is used to is going to do. He is very possessive of me. I always hear the sooner they move the better, so the older sibling doesn't feel like the baby stole their room. I have his big boy bed frame just about finished (finally) and I would like to make the change asap.
My house which is normally clean has been in what feels like chaos for months now, Ryan is frustrated with all the work he has been doing, and the hose work he has been trying to add, plus he is back in school. I truly understand and feel bad, but really I don't think that is going to get me to suddenly mop the floor. I know I'll get my steam back, and maybe if that whole nesting thing could kick in, I could get back on top of my life and get prepared, but until then, chaos is where life stands.
Ryan and I also don't really see eye to eye on when or how much I should go back to work. He wants after 6weeks me to go back to exactly how it is now. I want to go back in 8 weeks and have less hours. I don't make very much money, but it would be extremely tight, plus I get great dental benefits working there. So there are lots of things to consider, like daycare and benefits, ect.. I am pretty sure nothing will get worked out anytime soon, but you know what I am feeling only peace these days, I can work myself up about one thing or another and then I realize how little it matters right now.
Everything will work out, everything will get done eventually, and nothing will stop this baby from coming whenever she is fully baked.
